Intimacy: Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried... - FML

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Spicy

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 12 754

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Same thing different taste

What was I thinking?

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Okemos

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 798

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 554

You deserved it 5 190

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 911

You deserved it 249

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Spicy

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 418

You deserved it 1 672

By go fuck myself - 07/02/2015 00:57 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 283

You deserved it 5 012

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 2 081

May be

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 20:00

Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Spicy

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 4 445

Us neither, dude

By Buzzing Confusion - 17/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 224

By VCR - 20/12/2009 07:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 519

You deserved it 3 741

Next

Top comments

strawberrywine22 30

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:14

Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet.

gonad_gobbler 1

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:16

You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and ******* go together!

Comments

pipc 10

Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:22

Time for boarding school...

CatieMac 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:57

maybe they heard mommy making her kitty purrr and decided they wanted to make their cat purr too. bahaha

rcgirl2 11

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:16

Who knows what they did to that poor cat. F the cat's life.

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:55

Your kids clearly don't know which pussy that toy belongs to... not their fault! ;)

Rocky007 15

Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:30

Better the kids than your husband.

nvo 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:34

Take it out of their allowance.

marxistbkly 3

Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:46

I thought vibrators were supposed to be buried in the kitty box?

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:24

I read the location as ****** after reading the anecdote...

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:39

I wonder what they thought it was when they found it.

Rasetsu 10

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:49

No husband then?

zandalee 19

Wednesday 27 June 2012 7:13

What the heck does that have to do with anything? Hell - I got both!!

koolkat27 13

Wednesday 27 June 2012 9:25

100- Your picture is of Twilight, you're one to talk.

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The Top

The Top

Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 596

You deserved it 1 009

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 314

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 249

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 948

You deserved it 20 351

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 415

You deserved it 13 371

Today, I found a great parking spot but I wasn't sure if it was restricted by any means or of I could just park there for free. I asked a police officer walking by and he told me it was alright, only to come back 4 hours later to find a ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 964