Intimacy: Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried... - FML

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Spicy

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 12 754

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Same thing different taste

What was I thinking?

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Okemos

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 798

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 554

You deserved it 5 190

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 911

You deserved it 249

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Spicy

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 418

You deserved it 1 672

By go fuck myself - 07/02/2015 00:57 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 283

You deserved it 5 012

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 2 081

May be

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 20:00

Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Spicy

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 4 445

Us neither, dude

By Buzzing Confusion - 17/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I found out that the mother of my children named her vibrator after me. We are together and have not had sex in over 18 months. I have no idea what to do with this information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 224

By VCR - 20/12/2009 07:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 519

You deserved it 3 741

Next

Top comments

strawberrywine22 30

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:14

Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet.

gonad_gobbler 1

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:16

You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and ******* go together!

Comments

stepymac 15

Thursday 27 December 2012 6:32

I guess that's how the cat gets Frisky!!!!

FemskyD 26

Monday 10 March 2014 9:20

Happy pussy xD

taintedtruffle 42

Sunday 19 October 2014 18:18

I actually keep mine in a lock box I got for like ten dollars at Wal-Mart

jackthekeeper 24

Friday 19 June 2015 2:37

wrong pussy

dguzman92 12

Wednesday 6 April 2016 5:40

Don't use it again! cat urine is very toxic.

ic2drops 10

Saturday 8 July 2023 5:31

just wash it off, it'll be good as new 🆕

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The Top

The Top

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 579

You deserved it 4 909

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 982

You deserved it 6 786

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 946

You deserved it 2 737

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 501

You deserved it 7 988

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 844

You deserved it 3 376

Today, at work, a customer ordered a caramel latte with no caramel. I made a regular latte after explaining that’s what it was. He got angry and threw it at me. I got fired for insulting his intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 306