Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
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Top comments
rhcpgurl 18
And you thought screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs wouldn't scare and catch the attention of people within earshot of you?
Cads1 24
As does punching stupid people. However, that also involves the police.
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Comments (66)
muarif 19
Just pee on them to assert dominance!
tchopper1969 16
lmfao I've done the same thing. just never had the cops called (hence gotta love cowboy living)
MandyO 15
I hear deep breathing exercises can be helpful and won't get the cops called.
RedPillSucks 31
unless you do it into a phone... like I did...
32Levels 6
ROFL
powerkeep 24
Were you screaming at the lampposts?
irish_lad 16
Punch stupid people. That helps
swanheart 35
Well that outcome was in no way unforeseeable. What did you think would happen if you bellowed obscenities in public?
PePziNL 20
19: I'm sorry for going offtopic, but what is that hellspawn on your profile picture? Oo
swanheart 35
A cat with makeup on, clearly! :)
SystemofaBlink41 27
This is what nightmares are made of.
DrummerWS 23
Next time, maybe go down a quiet road or something?
alexlots 20
Maybe next time try taking a few deep breaths
meleelastyles 10
Therapeutic muchly? :-D #StillWorthIt
unscrupulous 13
That's what the crazy people in Lifetime movies do.