Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, while at work, I let out a nasty wet fart, thinking no one would hear me since I work in a warehouse. My coworker did hear me, and replied, "WTF? Shots fired! Shots fired!" FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML
Today, I stormed out of a restaurant after an argument with my boyfriend to make a dramatic exit. Instead of the front door, I marched into what turned out to be the kitchen. The entire restaurant heard me swear and then quietly shuffle back out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
rhcpgurl 18
And you thought screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs wouldn't scare and catch the attention of people within earshot of you?
Cads1 24
As does punching stupid people. However, that also involves the police.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
tac0609 13
Punching inanimate objects usually helps me blow off steam.
Roskie 16
Tip: go outside and throw ice cubes at the ground as hard as you can. You get the satisfaction of breaking something without causing any real damage or creating a mess to clean up.
lolalove24_fml 14
that's quite genius
JICor 7
I'm not even worried about how good #38 idea was I just love his profile picture
buttcramp 21
36, thats an awesome idea! OP, i like that you did this because it's a good way to blow off steam but not at work lol
IAmReptarrrr 6
#36 that sounds like a great idea, except op lives in Arizona. chances are the ice cubes would melt before they hit the ground. depending on what part of Az they live. I live in Mesa, and I can tell you they don't last long outside at all.
Cads1 24
As does punching stupid people. However, that also involves the police.
Thatepicperson 14
Get Shreket!!!
TheBelt 19
probably he was screaming at a lamppost
xlasxtchanxce13 22
Well after you explained everything worked out well right?
timb1234 13
Least they didnt call you the crazy bitch
briang959 47
Lead the cops to the employee that caused you the frustration. :)
stephenfranklin 15
sounds to me like you yelled yourself right into that one
rhcpgurl 18
And you thought screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs wouldn't scare and catch the attention of people within earshot of you?
WitEluded 13
I'm sure there is someone you don't like at the office that you could tip off the police to
askullnamedbilly 33
Well, you kind of fit the bill, don't you?
vikky538 28
Please provide your address. We will deliver a big load of stress balls to you at no cost. Its not a movie dude you shouldn't have done that.
starile 19
Hmm. Big load of balls. Just what he needs.
PePziNL 20
31: That was golden, ahahaha. Thank you.
False_Stupidity 41
Boss comes in later... "What are you doing?" OP: "Just playing with my balls"