Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
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Top comments
mmmskittles 3
kids are so perceptive these days...
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Aww, how cute!(:
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Comments (155)
RyanMacVey 17
grrr how long do i have to wait for this thing to show my FMLs ???
kennababy 0
I know me to! they haven't put one of mine online yet :/
RyanMacVey 17
I only signed up today.. but I tried to post 2 already and i aint patient enough to wait :I
kennababy 0
haha yeah I've tried posting like 5 this week and they're not up yet
RyanMacVey 17
ugh it fukking sucks.. I think im gonna go back to youtube lol
illmatic2 16
It's because your FMLs suck. That or they probably aren't even true. Some people have submitted more than 50, and still haven't gotten any approved.
sandyyBabi 0
I know the feelin
RyanMacVey 17
mines were true... well one of them was... it was pretty crap though... shit a guess yer right
sweet_candy_ 17
Read the FAQ.
RyanMacVey 17
wtf is that and where do a find it???
Sirin_fml 46
You don't submit an FML and have it eventually posted, gayboy. If the other users like it and we decide it's better than the thousands of other submissions, then we'll post it. And please, no posting your FMLs in the comments section; we just published one of yours anyway.
illmatic2 16
No, you probably shouldn't.
_gods_will_ 0
fat fatty is fat. you shouldn't complain when it's probably true, children at that age aren't malicious with their comments, just brutally honest.
RyanMacVey 17
own up.. who thumbsed down my comment???
kennababy 0
which one was yours??
jess6blondie9 2
Me.
TrolliePollie 0
lose weight op before igloo ppl try to hunt u down
Iissosmart 5
n m
vietguy808 0
time to hit the gym
mintcar 9
She's at a dance class. Dancing is also considered an exercise!
TayonaC 10
obviously not enough ;)
iSitt 0
I speak whale
sandyyBabi 0
#38 I'm goin through the same thingg dude!! haha
nickpm636 0
sucks
cyanidesandwich 21
looks like you need to stretch a little bit more