Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
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Top comments
mmmskittles 3
kids are so perceptive these days...
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Aww, how cute!(:
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Comments (155)
QueenOfBoredom 0
your username is WIM
NYBellz 0
give her a Loli pop to shit her up ... plus she def motivated ur ass to diet, than kick ur husbands ass cuz u know she heard it from him
Tayeable45 0
Kids will be kids:/
dt520 4
FML is quickly becoming the reason I want kids.
Adorlee 11
Time to go to the 'Mommy & Me' gym
JustMyOpinion825 0
Gaining weight is actually much easier than losing it, emotionally & physically.
KickItHigh 32
Nobody wants to see fat jiggle. Blech
pimpinpimp 2
Hahahaha I agree with number 9!
FuzzyTheAwsome 1
ummm FAIL!!!!
lexilovess 0
lose weight it's your fault