Gross, Cars and Health: Health hazard - FML

Health hazard

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 2 920

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Same thing different taste

DMV blues

By HellisLikeTheDMV - 13/07/2012 15:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 698

You deserved it 27 307

By BrokeandDesperate - 06/12/2011 07:03 - United States

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 501

You deserved it 8 296

Nice try

By anonymous - 29/06/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 706

You deserved it 12 971

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 3 351

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 458

You deserved it 2 653

By Elmoo - 01/06/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 1 956

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 958

You deserved it 7 759

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 790

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 727

You deserved it 8 863

You OK?

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 116

Next

Top comments

saint_jimmy 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 17:00

After she gives it back to you, stick it down your pants and scratch your ass with it. Then just walk away. . .

Ancarnia 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:06

be happy it was her teeth she fiddled with.

Comments

erika622 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 22:16

hahahahaha please tell me u told her to keep it

BabyyBecca 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 22:49

#39 I can't spell for shit ;DD

aback 4

Saturday 23 October 2010 23:24

I'm not sure who I feel sorrier for.

beckybones76 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 5:36

?

Moo_Horse 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 1:17

punch her in the face. problem solved. and take some gum and snacks before u go

kemando 22

Wednesday 27 October 2010 5:52

didn't you read? She's probably butchy! and carries a 6 shooter.

whygivein 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 6:47

for her birthday give her floss

N1NJ4M4573R 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 7:01

i think you should make her pick her teeth out of her gums.(by punching her in the face)

boredtotears 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 7:41

a gift for buying cigarettes/alcohol

awsomeroncat22 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 8:14

Ask to speak to her manager insist she gets fired and u get some sort of free thing if he says no grab your licence and what ever looks valuable on the counter then punch them both in the face and go out side and dip what u grabbed is gasoline

settledownbeavis 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 11:30

i think the OP mentioned the stain on her blouse cuz it was a cum stain and she just finished swallowing a load. thats why he was disgusted when she stuck it in her mouth. you people are slow.

lilprince22 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 23:29

hahaha

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The Top

The Top

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 810

You deserved it 2 749

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 390

You deserved it 6 942

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 826

You deserved it 7 601

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 991

You deserved it 5 585

Today, I'm studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 402

You deserved it 5 422

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 895

You deserved it 20 234