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Health hazard

Anonymous - 23/10/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

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DMV blues

HellisLikeTheDMV - 13/07/2012 15:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

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BrokeandDesperate - 06/12/2011 07:03 - United States

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

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Nice try

anonymous - 29/06/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

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i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

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Anonymous - 28/09/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

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Elmoo - 01/06/2012 01:20 - Netherlands

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

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brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

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dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

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Anonymous - 14/11/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

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You OK?

Anonymous - 21/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, while I was working in the drive-through at work, a lady was wearing kitchen oven-mitts and a snorkeling mask instead of gloves and a mask to pick up her prescription. FML

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saint_jimmy 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 17:00

After she gives it back to you, stick it down your pants and scratch your ass with it. Then just walk away. . .

Ancarnia 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 16:06

be happy it was her teeth she fiddled with.

kid18aqua 0

Monday 25 October 2010 0:13

rotflmfao...ho my god lol thats too funny!

kubleeka 0

Monday 25 October 2010 2:21

yeah? that's when you get your liscence updated

stubby84 0

Monday 25 October 2010 19:13

what's worse her teeth or her butt crack itch?

SuperTLP 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 6:04

your prolly just taking it the wrong way, I'm sure that's a complement in some foreign country.

Sonalis 9

Tuesday 26 October 2010 6:57

shoulda told her "yeah I dropped that in the toilet earlier........"

MrsBritG21 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 0:05

Why the hell did a gas station attendant have your drivers license???

gagaforladygaga 0

Monday 4 April 2011 3:08

shoulda got her number XD

MaryPoppins88 14

Friday 29 April 2011 5:03

she sounds cute

Splayd 10

Sunday 18 September 2011 2:00

Here comes the grammar police! The first comma was unnecessary.

I_Ate_The_Cookie 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 12:51

Whyd the stain matter?If it did....Im lost.

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Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

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Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

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Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint birthday party with her dog, because it would be the dog's "Big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

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Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in his bed watching football when it went to commercial. He started kissing my neck and trying to get me turned on. Then I remembered we'd be going to visit his mom soon, where we'd be playing Wii. That thought turned me on more than my boyfriend did. FML

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Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

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