Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
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Top comments
warrenhoward42 20
what the ****? too embarassed? I woulda set him straight right there.
Tarlachia 33
Here's the logic: the neighbor thought OP was doing great with his wife. However, the OP knew it was his daughter making the sounds that made the neighbor think the OP was getting laid. Somehow, the OP is ashamed that it wasn't his wife making those sexual noises, and quite possibly is also ashamed that his daughter is capable of making such noises. Hence, my comment. No father wants to think of their daughter making such noises let along engaging in sexual activity. It's kind of similar how kids don't want to hear or think about their parents banging each other.
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Comments (71)
Brandi_Faith 33
My thoughts exactly. There's a difference between screaming in pleasure and screaming because you're scared and afraid of getting hurt. It seems the neighbour does not know this difference, which is a bit weird and freaky.
thearronaut 10
Why would he even make such a comment?!! How creepy.
NYGiants1925 22
Yeah wtf is with op's neighbor?
Bansheefaerie 9
am I the only one who wishes there was a recording of this so I could try to understand how screams of fear were misinterpreted as screams of pleasure?
davek 36
At least that's what your daughter told you.
tiredofwaiting 25
How can you mistake screaming over an insect over having sex. I don't get it.
cj89898 24
Imagine confusion. "Actually that was my daughter" "Not like that!
GhostFox 33
Wait, why the hell would be even think it was appropriate to comment on hearing what he thought was you and your wife having sex?? Or to listen so intently as to interpret it as your wife orgasming? Why was he even listening so closely. ...I really hope he kept his pants during his eavesdropping session...
jmaster888 11
Are you sure she was screaming about the wasp? Are you sure that there was no boy inside?
ellecooliojoe 5
Why is this considered shameful? There's nothing wrong with screaming when a freaking wasp is in your daughters room