Animals, Cats and Health: Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 828

You deserved it 72 211

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 821

You deserved it 4 991

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 15 375

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 468

You deserved it 3 881

Self defence

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 2 487

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 306

You deserved it 2 723

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 275

You deserved it 4 208

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 394

You deserved it 1 846

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 799

You deserved it 9 678

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 311

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 875

You deserved it 4 572

redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

Comments

murderofcrows 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:08

I think its hilarious other ppl bathe their cats like me. I wear old boxers and a big t shirt and just sit in the bath with them. Sometimes I do it naked, cuz I hate the big sloppy mess of fabric. Too funny

tabbycat 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:09

Don't even attempt to wash cats. It just does not work. Period.

PhiThetaKappa 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:11

#1-Your a man. You own a cat. That leads me to believe you are Queer. #2-Maybe your not queer and that is the only pussy you can get. #3-I am not an expert on feline hygiene, but I thought they licked themselves to clean their fur. #4-I think what you did is technically illegal in most states cat ******. #5-I think regardless of what anyone has said, we all just really want to know exactly how one came to the conclusion that it was a good idea to get in the shower with your F-ING CAT! P.S.-I hope you don't get a boner when your mom applies the neosporin to your balls (assuming you have any).

joHnnycsU 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:17

haha genius comment

SizeMayVary 0

Friday 4 September 2009 7:55

your an idiot too. almost as dumb as the dude who posted this.

jts2 3

Friday 4 September 2009 19:50

Want to comment on one thing in that post: Why is it 'queer' for a man to own a cat? I own 2.

PhiThetaKappa 0

Friday 4 September 2009 22:02

Then you already know. Question answered.

RPGod 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:27

Hey, you can always try out a new fetish!

definatelywierd 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:27

Meow means meow

RIKANA 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:31

this fml has been done before... anyway I gues a repeat accadent can always happen again. get better soon OP RI

solocredere12 4

Friday 4 September 2009 5:34

You sir, are a ******* dumbass. You deserve it 100%!! It's pretty hilarious too!

Topguy 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:43

oh yes that was clearly the most logical way of doing it. the best part about cats is they clean themselves!

GodofTheCubes 0

Friday 4 September 2009 5:47

ummmm YDI for showering, well trying to shower, with a cat. NEVER get naked around animals, just cuz they are cute and fuzzy doesn't mean that they won't scratch your junk :P