Kids, Sex and Phobias: Coulrophobia

Coulrophobia

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 112

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 507

You deserved it 3 423

Prank wars

By Divorcemenow - 17/07/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 662

You deserved it 6 976

By bad dad - 05/06/2019 06:00

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 194

Single dad struggles

By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 561

Stuck on amber

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 215

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, its been three weeks since my boyfriend's "hilarious prank" went off. He hid a Bluetooth speaker in my son's room and played a scary clown laugh at 2am. Now my son won't even enter his room, much less sleep in it. My boyfriend had better learn to love sleeping on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 144

Spooked

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my husband wasn’t paying attention, he gave our 6 year-old his Netflix instead of the kid safe settings, so she watched a very gory horror film that has given her nightmares, so I now haven’t slept in 5 nights because of it. My husband face sleeps soundly through her screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 161

By Ploeboi - 04/08/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 351

You deserved it 8 908

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 99

By marriedtoacunt - 19/10/2012 18:27 - United Kingdom - London

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 113

You deserved it 5 806

duchessdoughnut 2

Wednesday 2 July 2025 8:00

You really want to be married to someone who weaponises sex?

d j mom 9

Wednesday 2 July 2025 12:20

your wife is a bitch.

Comments

duchessdoughnut 2

Wednesday 2 July 2025 8:00

You really want to be married to someone who weaponises sex?

d j mom 9

Wednesday 2 July 2025 12:20

your wife is a bitch.

poopface82 23

Wednesday 2 July 2025 13:43

Yeah, that’s reality with kids.

Lost Reggie 21

Wednesday 2 July 2025 15:28

Find a sexy clown to bang.

DLBL 20

Wednesday 2 July 2025 18:46

Tell the kids they get ice cream for breakfast if they have no nightmares about clowns.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 5 July 2025 6:37

Right, because it's your fault they're scared of clowns... if you'd known and took them, I could see her point. But if you didn't, well, she's being way too vindictive.

Yudith 25

Sunday 6 July 2025 14:32

There's a nice Caillou episode about how Caillou is scared of a clown and his Mom shows him that a clown is only a person in costume. You should show it to your kids. If it fails, family therapy is the next step.