The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 12/08/2016 12:24 - United States - Huron

Today, I found out that a coworker and I may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 644

You deserved it 1 100

By Ex-Employee - 31/07/2016 02:14 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 156

You deserved it 1 021

Stop going on about it

By Msrebound - 05/07/2017 20:00

Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 917

You deserved it 620

By ElemTeacher - 02/01/2018 15:00

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 754

You deserved it 271

Oh, the irony

By bearprint - 06/07/2016 18:45

Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 716

You deserved it 1 435

The worst

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 07:04 - United States - Bellingham

Today, I was buried in texts from two of my bridesmaids about how much they hated their dresses. Dresses they helped pick. I can either be a bridezilla, put up with this for 4 more months, or ruin two friendships. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 791

You deserved it 1 199

No excuses!

By davka - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 997

You deserved it 4 908

Close quarters

By smellay - 14/04/2020 23:00

Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 387

Everyone's a Critic

By Kitten - 19/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 988

You deserved it 674

Good friend

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Spicy

Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 436

You deserved it 1 148

By Elizabeth Ann - 19/08/2018 03:30

Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 294

You deserved it 350

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 18:38 - Ireland

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 970

You deserved it 6 469

By Sissyleemae - 16/09/2018 14:30

Today, I got fired from my job for stopping a shoplifter. Where's the logic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 069

You deserved it 346

By Anonyme - 29/01/2016 22:38 - China - Shanghai

Today, I'm doing an architecture course in China. My boss asked me to create a lamp shaped like a shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 379

You deserved it 2 402

Merry Christmas, I guess…

By anon - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Irwin

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I didn't have a mother who cared about me. She's my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 136

You deserved it 2 586

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Spicy

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 006

You deserved it 4 583

The Talk

By TalkedTo - 14/11/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, at 16 years-old, I got "the talk" from Dad. He began with, "I don’t really need to give you the talk do I? It would just be awkward for us both." I agreed with him, and we drove home in silence. Thanks for avoiding the awkwardness, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 393

You deserved it 390

By lookwhereyasittin - 24/01/2016 17:47 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 940

You deserved it 6 624

By AustinFFA - 22/01/2016 16:46 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 403

You deserved it 3 803

AustinFFA tells us more.

AustinFFA 11

Monday 25 January 2016 3:54

I'm allowed to watch it. I'm 16. It's just awkward that they know when I'm watching

Do you remember?

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 457

You deserved it 1 808

Casual racism

By seeking new employment - 07/01/2016 01:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out why my coworkers never invite me anywhere. Apparently, I "made a face" when one of them used the N-word, and it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 875

You deserved it 2 131

By Zahkrii - 26/12/2018 16:00

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 786

You deserved it 349

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 01:31 - United States - Westfield

Today, my older brother called me ugly, and so I used the classic comeback ''It's not nice to talk about yourself like that." He responded by cutting the strings to my violin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 303

You deserved it 2 911

By Amazon Ruined My Life - 28/12/2018 14:00

Today, my mother opened her birthday gift in front of my entire family. Two days ago, I ordered an essential oil diffuser and flesh light from Amazon. Guess which one she got? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 3 443

By "baow" - 17/03/2019 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I met this girl and we ended up having sex at her place. She decided to give me some head underneath the cover, it really was great until her Garfield sized cat decided to jump on her head and make her choke on it. Guess who got kicked out in the middle of the night for being too reckless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 181

You deserved it 346

By Wtfbruhimmovingout - 28/11/2015 02:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 5 533

By ishred1111 - 06/11/2015 07:39 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 2 567

ishred1111 tells us more.

ishred1111 14

Saturday 7 November 2015 4:36

Thanks for all the funny comments! They made me feel better when I'm not actually feeling that great, considering what my boyfriend turned out to be like.... Speaking of which, I totally agree with most of you. Yes, I hung up on him and no, I did not bail him out. I think his sister did in the end. His fate and what he actually did to get arrested are unknown to me, honestly I just knew we were done the second he finished the song and then said 'so, babe, can you bail me out?' Never thought he could be like this. Very disappointed in him. But still thoroughly impressed at his singing (he recited it perfectly). :) thanks guys!!

By Broken - 03/11/2015 18:13 - United States - Billerica

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 588

You deserved it 1 791

By KingSquisher - 22/12/2016 02:00 - United States - Modesto

Today, my neighbor tried to shoot my dog but missed and hit a rock. A shard of the bullet hit me in the leg and fractured my shin. Hello from the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 537

You deserved it 647

KingSquisher tells us more.

KingSquisher 13

Wednesday 28 December 2016 17:46

The dog was in the neighbors property "chasing the livestock" she told animal control when in reality the dog was playing with the horse. I went out to retrieve my dog when she shot. Probably didn't see me. The dog has escaped several times to several locations the past three years

Driving me mad

By Anonymous - 18/05/2017 22:00

Today, unbeknownst to me, my wife cancelled our airplane tickets because she didn't want to face her fear of flying like we had agreed. Now, we're going to have to take another week off so I can drive 3000 miles cross country, while she sleeps in the shotgun seat because her licence expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 569

You deserved it 586

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 099

You deserved it 6 043

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 057

You deserved it 9 316

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 996

You deserved it 3 481

Today, at age 18, I am now the guardian of my sister's 10-month-old and 4-year-old. Why? She decided to "work on her" and enlist in the army. Guess that means no college for me for the next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 635

You deserved it 348

Today, after having to move home with my parents because I'm broke and can't seem to find a job, my mom found out I'm on anti-depressants. She and my dad will no longer be helping with money because she doesn't like "drugs". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 318

You deserved it 260

Today, my parents complained to me that I never talk to them about my hobbies and interests, or what I do in general. Well, maybe if you at least pretended to show any sort of interest when I do, instead of just replying dismissively to everything I say until I leave, I might talk about them more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 107