The Top

The dog was in the neighbors property "chasing the livestock" she told animal control when in reality the dog was playing with the horse. I went out to retrieve my dog when she shot. Probably didn't see me. The dog has escaped several times to several locations the past three years

Dude, WTF?

By truckstopworker - 27/04/2017 02:00

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 967

You deserved it 361

By notanidiot - 20/06/2012 12:46 - United States - Lansing

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 998

You deserved it 3 677

High hopes

By abjoro - 25/05/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the cute guy who sits in front of me in class and who keeps looking at me over his right shoulder is not interested in me as I had been led to believe. He has mild Tourrette's and his tick happens to be scratching his chin over his right shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 155

You deserved it 483

By Failed_Dad - 25/09/2015 05:42 - United States - Davis

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 700

You deserved it 2 738

By KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 762

You deserved it 1 757

By Fartini - 07/11/2016 06:47

Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 271

You deserved it 2 446

Slumber off

By mean mommy - 16/07/2019 12:30

Today, I was hosting a slumber party for my daughter, but I ended it abruptly and demanded that every child be picked up. Several pissed off parents and a sobbing daughter later, I’m the most hated. I made them leave after two of the girls bragged about losing their virginity. They’re 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 2 287

By macguy - 20/10/2016 14:25 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 220

You deserved it 1 012

By MonieIndmiddle - 13/11/2017 05:00

Today, my kids caught a virus from school. My husband stayed home with them since I make more money and he didn't want to risk me getting sick. Guess which adult has the runs and is puking every five seconds. Nope, not him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 343

Worst day

By supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - 11/08/2016 08:33 - Australia - Maida Vale

Today, my car broke down on my way home from university. I tried calling for help, only to realise my phone had completely run out of charge. Luckily, I had passed a police station so I decided to walk the 10 minutes down the road to ask for a phone. When I got there, the station was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 251

You deserved it 1 035

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 310

You deserved it 2 278

By nobodywasthere - 29/11/2017 01:30

Today, I explained to my teacher that I wasn't at school yesterday due to three doctor appointments for my moderate epilepsy. Yesterday was senior skip day. She gave me detention for lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 441

Magic moment

By spongebob squarepants - 28/02/2018 01:30

Today, I rear-ended someone while trying to watch my odometer hit 80,000 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 7 433

How deep is it?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 01:00

Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 04:48 - United States - Rocky Mount

Today, I had to sit through the wedding of my best friend and the love of my life, and pretend to be happy for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 011

You deserved it 3 390

By Preggo - 14/05/2016 17:11 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was food shamed by my boyfriend in front of an entire restaurant and his parents because my meal cost more than his. His mom chimed in saying her meal usually costs more than his step dad's too and not to be upset. I'm 8 months pregnant, of course mine costs more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 982

You deserved it 1 455

By LoveTheElder - 11/05/2016 01:38 - United States - San Clemente

Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 060

You deserved it 1 376

By Forever alone - 19/07/2018 01:30 - Netherlands - Volendam

Today, I met a man on Tinder who said he was a chef at his own restaurant. He invited me to come eat at his restaurant and told me he would reserve me the best seat in the place. I got there to see he was not a chef, but my waiter. I paid him for the dinner. I ate by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 900

You deserved it 509

****** around, found out

By anonymouss - 26/08/2021 16:01

Today, I had to yell at both my adult children; my daughter for having an OnlyFans page and my son for finding the page, blackmailing her for money for two months, then telling me about it when she refused to keep paying. I'm not a proud parent right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 412

By preggers with probs - 03/09/2018 14:30

Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 601

You deserved it 274

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Money Birthday Kids Animals Cats Kittens Cute Dogs Parenting Embarrassing Love Crush Work Painful Sports Awkward Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying My ex Gross School Intimacy NSFW

The Top

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny nitwit like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 900

You deserved it 3 540

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother, you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 688

You deserved it 44 313

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 103

You deserved it 4 243

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 9 465

Today, I really upset my housemates when I opened my bedroom door to find them - and their friends - doing meth. At 2 a.m. on a Monday. I didn't even say anything, but it's drama and I just want to sleep. I start back at work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 123

Today, I’m 27 with no friends and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m socially awkward, and the idea of meeting people even in passing gives me panic attacks. I’ve been in treatment for years and no luck. All I can manage to do is work and sleep. I think it’s time to give up completely and just adopt a bunch of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 213