Love

It's not that deep

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I really think my girlfriend is secretly bisexual and is cheating on me. Reading through her texts, she and her “best friend” are always calling each other beautiful, saying "I love you", and other weird stuff like that. Other members of their friend group do it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 261

Language of love

By TheGirl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 603

You deserved it 3 981

Too good to be true?

By Dude - 07/07/2026 12:00 - The Netherlands

Today, my wife's friend's husband broke the unwritten "man rule" of not being TOO good of a husband. He turned over a new leaf and started really busting his ass, so his wife bragged on him to my wife, and now she's sulking and refusing sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 593

One track mind

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 20:00 - India - New Delhi

Today, my boyfriend's been distant lately so I told him he was not like this when we first started talking. He replied that it's because he was horny at the time, so now I'm stuck with his nonchalant ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 69

First and last date

By hairless by death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 614

You deserved it 4 283

Friends in need…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I made a trip that would usually takes three hours, but took over five thanks to holiday traffic, to comfort my best friend after another breakup with her horrible boyfriend. We'd planned to go and watch the fireworks; instead she completely ghosted me in this strange town so she and him could "work things out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 107

Double standard

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my former in-laws have been giving me crap for remarrying only four months after my divorce, yet they had no problem with my ex-wife remarrying only a week after our divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 96

News to me

By Paul - 05/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to ask someone out. She smiled, hugged me, and said, "That's so sweet. I'll have to ask my fiancé if he's OK with it." That was how I found out she was engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 105

Best wishes!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Federal Way

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 320

You deserved it 1 964

All planned out

By Annoyed - 04/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, after I'd spent ages planning a surprise proposal at the beach, right as I got down on one knee, a seagull swooped in, stole the sandwich from my backpack, and everyone on the beach turned to watch the bird instead of us. My partner had to ask, "Were you about to propose?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 103

Just try stuff

By Tali - 04/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, a woman friend of mine bravely asked me for a date. Even though I'm a woman myself, I was not fully surprised by her request, she'd said she was gay during our first chat months ago, but I being straight I was surprised that I said yes, and how fun the date would be. Is it OK that I'm tempted to become her girlfriend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 260

FIFA drama is insane

By Elissea - 04/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, at a World Cup watch party, my husband joked about how I’d probably eat all the snacks by halftime so everyone should eat up now. I told him that hurt and how he wasn’t the man I married anymore. He replied, “I should say the same thing about you. You didn’t do one thing to lose weight since the kids.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 241

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 240

You deserved it 124 959

Mythbusters

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 22:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I’ve realized the whole “men are more sexual than women” isn’t true. I have ended up in two long-term relationships with two different men who had zero sex drive, stopped any sort of romantic connection/flirting, and then it felt like I just had a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 70

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask someone out after months of debating it. She smiled, said yes, and asked what time. I got so nervous that I gave her the time I start work instead of our reservation. We both showed up to completely different places and spent twenty minutes wondering why the other had ghosted us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 303

Poopy

By Dead - 30/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend had an "accident" at home. She texted me about it. I tried to lightly tease her and sent a comment about her shitting her pants… to the family group chat by mistake. I'm currently writing my last will and testament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 555

Ball and chain

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home and went to hug and kiss my wife. She actively dodged me and gave me a list of nine things she wanted fixed around the house while she was out with her sister. I’m writing this from a pub garden, surrounded by people who actually enjoy my company. Fuck her list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 288

Dark humor

By Widowhumorwasamiss - 30/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date since my husband passed six years ago. My date’s ex-wife happened to be at the restaurant he picked, and he confessed he expected her to be there. Without missing a beat, I told him that’s a perk of dating a widow, never running into the ex. Evidently a bit too dark for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 80

Let me down gently

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Corona

Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 65

Congrats!

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I was selected to give a short speech at a friend's wedding after being told it would only be "a couple of minutes." I walked up drunkenly, reached into my pocket for my notes, and pulled out my shopping list instead. I started reading "milk, onions, toothpaste…" before realising everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 460

Glad for you

By Forever Alone x2 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 326

You deserved it 4 150

Lost and found

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, after I'd spent two weeks planning the perfect proposal at the aquarium, right as I got down on one knee, a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mom! That man dropped something!" Half the people around us started looking around for whatever I'd "lost" instead of watching the proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 194

Baby brain

By Mike - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, we had two-year wedding anniversary. A few months ago, I insisted on going to a therapist because my wife can only think and talk about our one-year kid. My present for her was a Spa day, flowers and chocolate. Her gift to me was a Lego set to build for our kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 539

ASMR

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a secret video folder of lesbians kissing from movies, TV shows, and games like The Last of Us, Arcane, Georgia and Ginny, and so on. He says it’s his ASMR folder because something about lesbian kissing noises is extra relaxing and helps him sleep. Yeah, right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 137

Victim complex

By Anonymous - 28/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Corona

Today, my ex got a new girlfriend. I genuinely don’t care who he dates, I just know that now I’m in for 3 to 6 months of performative angry phone calls, court summons, and social media slander, all while he plays up sympathy from the new chick. He doesn’t care about our kids and pulls this same stunt repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 97

Nice try

By fyourlife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 984

You deserved it 37 567

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Youngstown

Today, after I spent months assisting my 'work bestie' with planning/arranging her "Surprise!" wedding, Surprise! I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 64

I can fix him

By John - 26/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, I found out that my girlfriend still hangs out with her "abusive, violent, psychotic, misogynistic, manipulative" ex. I told her to block him and she pitched a mega tantrum. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 87

Step-dad no more

By MAN THINGS fuck you - 26/06/2026 09:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 433

I won't share you

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, it's week four of my best friend, who "wasn't interested", still being on a drunken bender after I told her I was possibly going to see someone new. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 63

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 002

You deserved it 4 883

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 5 300

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 786

You deserved it 6 691

Today, I managed to pay my rent in full for once. My bank called me on suspicion of fraud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 460

You deserved it 831

Today, I treated my adult daughter to a vintage record player to celebrate three months of sobriety. Now whenever her boyfriend comes over, they crank up the volume on my old vinyls, and I now have to associate Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm" with them screwing like rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 353

Today, when I tried to go to work, there were gun nuts blocking the road near my apartment, protesting something or other. I called the cops to break it up, only to be told, "We can't do anything because they have rights." Don't I have the right to not be terrorized by lunatics? FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 367