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By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 981

You deserved it 3 106

******

By anonymous - 04/09/2015 04:40 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got ahold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible." He was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 703

You deserved it 2 273

By JoeyTheJedi - 18/10/2016 00:31 - United States - Batesville

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 461

You deserved it 1 329

It's gettin' hott in here…

By Alan - 02/09/2015 20:13 - Germany

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 792

You deserved it 2 521

By PlsForget - 18/08/2016 21:47 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 683

You deserved it 1 304

By Anonymous - 12/08/2016 12:24 - United States - Huron

Today, I found out that a coworker and I may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 650

You deserved it 1 102

By Ex-Employee - 31/07/2016 02:14 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 163

You deserved it 1 024

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 1 986

Stop going on about it

By Msrebound - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 256

You deserved it 694

Support

By CallmeTokey - 12/07/2016 03:21

Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 653

You deserved it 15 393

By ElemTeacher - 02/01/2018 15:00

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 761

You deserved it 274

No excuses!

By davka - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired from my job. Apparently getting shot is no valid reason to stay home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 011

You deserved it 4 910

By Coeurdencre - 06/06/2016 03:33

Today, my best friend, who reckons I'm doing a terrible job at finding a boyfriend, has started giving out my number to all the men she thinks "look trustworthy" in the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 602

You deserved it 913

Nice to know

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 14:52 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 975

Close quarters

By smellay - 14/04/2020 23:00

Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 389

Everyone's a Critic

By Kitten - 19/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 994

You deserved it 677

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 823

You deserved it 44 369

Mamma Mia!

By time to move out... mom! - 31/07/2018 20:30 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, an informal lender came, greeting me a good morning with an "I'm here to take that car in your garage." Appalled, I demanded an explanation. Apparently, Mom took a rather substantial loan from him 3 months ago, paid him ziltch, and declared the car as collateral. It's my wife's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 838

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Spicy

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 370

You deserved it 2 308

By Mel - 11/09/2018 14:30

Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 691

By Embarrassed - 14/09/2018 06:00 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I went to the gym for the first time. I was nervous about using the showers because I'm embarrassed about my dick, but I felt better when I heard that guys don't check each other out in the shower. I was fine until 3 different guys talked about my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 624

You deserved it 255

By itsnotalright - 17/03/2016 04:25 - United States - Reno

Today, I was washing my hands in a public bathroom when a lady came in, looked at me in the mirror and then opened the door again to check if she was in the right bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 889

You deserved it 1 920

itsnotalright tells us more.

itsnotalright 8

Friday 18 March 2016 4:23

nah, I was just wearing some skinny jeans and a hoodie XD

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 780

You deserved it 911

Cool cool cool

By Anonymous - 29/02/2016 22:56 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 816

You deserved it 2 439

By TheAprilWitch - 01/01/2017 16:17

Today, I finally realized my sister-in-law tilts all the artwork on my walls every time she visits. Apparently, she's been doing this for years, just to drive me crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 366

You deserved it 736

TheAprilWitch tells us more.

TheAprilWitch 21

Tuesday 3 January 2017 5:40

I might do that! Thanks for the suggestion. Good thing I haven't called her out on it yet. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing, though. It's been going on for years! And it's not like we are that intimate, or goof around much.

He was a very good boy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:58 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 349

You deserved it 1 909

By spiritbeast33 - 11/09/2013 06:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 463

You deserved it 13 580

By kevinfmls - 16/01/2016 03:27 - United States - Reston

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 1 509

kevinfmls tells us more.

kevinfmls 12

Wednesday 30 March 2016 19:23

I haven't seen this until almost 3 months later! Thanks for the support, turns out she was LYING about being married and just wanted to not work with me in the most obvious way.

By "AdorableDoxie" - 17/12/2018 22:00

Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 437

You deserved it 390

By ScaredOfClowns - 31/12/2015 16:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 264

You deserved it 3 763

ScaredOfClowns tells us more.

ScaredOfClowns 11

Friday 1 January 2016 21:55

(I didn't know how to get it to comment as the OP...) For those of you who are asking how I didn't know, she had never brought it up in conversation. We only recently started dating and she hadn't mentioned it at all. She knew that I was afraid of clowns and admitted later on that she thought I was kidding. I guess it could be worse, when I made an excuse to leave and we talked about it later, she suggest we stay at my place instead.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Money Birthday Kids Animals Cats Kittens Cute Dogs Parenting Embarrassing Love Crush Work Painful Sports Awkward Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying My ex Gross School Intimacy NSFW

The Top

The Top

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 142

You deserved it 1 617

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 6 689

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 821

You deserved it 3 533

Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 572

You deserved it 17 568

Today, I started work at catering company. I was aware that I'd be cleaning dishes, but they forgot to warn me how many. Needless to say, after polishing 527 glasses, my hands hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 713

You deserved it 1 127

Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 82