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How did your Thanksgiving go?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 10:00

Today, I’m going to have two Thanksgivings. One at my parents' for the first half of the day, then the other at my house. I let my boyfriend know beforehand about it, as well as my sister. She then told my mom about my plan and next thing I know, I got a phone call from mom that turned into her yelling at me for not staying all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 163

Barbarians

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, although I received a good grade for my science project, it was disqualified for the science fair that I'd hoped to enter. A beautiful scale model of our solar system was ruined by the Cro-Magnons in one of the other classes; I found pieces of it scattered all over the classroom. The teacher did nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 93

By hoser - 21/02/2010 10:01 - Canada

Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 724

You deserved it 37 199

Raining cats and dogs

By Fling! - 29/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to put my reclining chair back. My cat and dog were sitting on the very top. It went up in an unexpectedly forceful manner, sending them flying, causing my dog to fall, and my cat to cling for dear life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 365

Joker brain

By RIP Kevin - 28/11/2022 18:00

Today, my mom, who is a huge Batman fan, is still weepy and talking non-stop about Kevin Conroy, as she has been for the past two weeks. After three days it was starting to get excessive; now I think I'm going mad like the Joker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 141

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 03:47 - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 575

You deserved it 14 246

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 852

Sorry Dad

By Fail - 04/12/2022 04:00

Today, my dad's car door was frozen shut. As he was in a hurry, he asked me to force it open. When I did so, the door slammed into his back. hard. Now he can barely walk, even with a walker, but he needs to walk in order for it to improve, or else he may become wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 25/02/2011 14:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that I can fit back into the clothes I wore in High School. I was proud of this until my husband told me that I look like a stuffed sausage in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 250

You deserved it 11 116

By dangyo - 26/01/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 424

You deserved it 7 095

False economy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 001

You deserved it 27 863

Surprised indeed

By Wuuut - 30/10/2025 09:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 75

By tickle spunk - 29/12/2011 18:39 - United States

Today, I came home and told my mom that I got the lead in the school musical, which I was very happy about. She pulled me into a hug then said, "But you know you can't really sing, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 960

You deserved it 3 067

Tay-Tay rules

By Not a swiftie - 20/04/2024 22:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I realised my girlfriend likes to play Taylor Swift whenever she wants me to leave her alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 176

By Moe - 23/01/2009 12:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 345

You deserved it 24 901

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 20:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 3 814

By Clementine - 27/11/2012 11:36 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 4 638

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 602

You deserved it 5 374

Manage your expectations

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 3 783

By maddy - 21/01/2009 17:03 - France

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said, "We'll call you soon." I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 812

You deserved it 2 638

Safety first

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 00:00 - India

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 652

Grandma knows best

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 20:00

Today, I’m beyond pissed off and downright repulsed that my daughter is still in her stupid rebellious phase. it's bad enough that she does shit herself but now she’s involving our grandchildren. She showed up to our annual gathering and my 10 year-old granddaughter had bright purple dyed hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 885

By lovinglife - 24/12/2011 12:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 598

You deserved it 6 356

Freud would have field day

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 139

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 4 994

Thanks, neighbor

By nobody - 12/11/2025 15:00

Today, my dad was drunk and angry, so I went to the neighbor's since I didn't know what to do. He was so nice and comforted me as I cried. Then his wife came home, called him a pedophile, beat me, and threw me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 65

Shady past

By Anonymous - 17/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got fired from the job I’ve been at for two and a half years, all over some bullshit charge I got 8 years ago. How did they find out? Background check for a promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 308

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 03:00

Today, I set an out-of-office auto-reply for my work email saying, “Currently out of the office, pretending to care somewhere else.” I forgot to turn it off. My boss emailed me three times before I noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 545

Keep on trucking

By Katie Rose - 17/11/2025 09:00

Today, for the second time this week, a jerk in a big truck let a big rock fly out of their uncovered back and damaged my windshield. Both times the cops refused to do anything and I can't afford to fix it as I was demoted at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 104

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 725

You deserved it 303

Today, my ex-girlfriend got some new piercings and decided to show me. They are the exact same piercings that the girl I'm currently seeing has. I'm starting to think she's still keeping tabs on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 184

Today, I just called my now ex-girlfriend to break up with her, due to our insurmountable lack of communication, even though I was in therapy for four months to try and keep the relationship afloat. Before breaking up, she'd blocked me on Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter and Instagram for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 189

Today, I'm in hell. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, but if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get crippling migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 108

Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 96

Today, my boss screamed at me because I didn't do what he'd said, despite him never giving me a specific order. A colleague was supposed to test an app. He can only do that with a tablet. How dare I give the coworker the tablet I was setting up anyway and not a specific one? He is done testing BTW. The app sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 69