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Bigmouth Strikes Again

By lpilou - 21/11/2008 05:40 - France

Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 818

You deserved it 10 922

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 705

You deserved it 2 960

Whatcha do when they come for you?

By Anonymous - 22/01/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 937

You deserved it 4 393

Unloved

By dan - 13/08/2020 17:01

Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 131

By syle - 13/11/2008 06:51 - France

Today, my son forgot to log out of MSN. He had written, "When am I getting out of this place?" and his username was "mother fucker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 848

You deserved it 7 653

Daily grind

By Anonymous - 19/08/2020 08:05

Today, over half of my coworkers have called out for various reasons and my manager is on her third week of vacation. My coworkers keep calling out. I'm the only closer. I just want a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 127

Guns don't kill people, rappers do

By guns save lives, so does gun safety - 03/02/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend called me an "obsessive weirdo" for always checking the chamber on my handgun whenever I pick it up. The last time I let her touch it, she mishandled it and shot a hole in the floor. Glad she's learned her lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 294

Many such cases

By NeedJob pleaseeeee - 22/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 160

By Sam - 30/10/2008 14:51 - Canada

Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 224

You deserved it 30 818

Saving Money

By FML Videos - 26/09/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Where did it all go? ?

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 81

Focus!

By get a job - 24/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I aren't speaking. He wanted to stay up late to "look for jobs", so I went to bed. An hour later, I was awoken to him screaming. When I ran in to see what was going on, he had a video game open. I shouldn't be mad at him because it was a "mega rare drop", he insists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 975

You deserved it 2 846

Thanks, I guess…

By JennyPenny - 17/10/2012 15:53 - United States - Lawrence

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 735

You deserved it 4 127

Grrrrrroooooooooss

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 16:23 - United States

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 2 519

By Queasy - 24/01/2010 00:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 266

You deserved it 6 084

Drama queen

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 01:58

Today, I found out that the woman I could fall in love with is dating a friend of mine. I think I will end up alone, and die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 358

Sinking feeling

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 22:00

Today, my boss replaced me, with my 25 years experience, as head chef with her son, who has a GCSE in food studies from 15 years ago and hasn’t even worked a restaurant before. I’m sitting here, watching our customers send food back untouched because it’s so bad. This has ruined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 111

Romcom trope

By Anonymous - 27/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a waiter fucked up by bringing a dessert with engagement ring to our table. My girlfriend started crying and saying, "Yes Yes Yes!" The look on her face when she had to take the ring off and give it back to the other woman… She’s now giving me the silent treatment, even though I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 114

By SeriouslyDad - 22/09/2013 13:57 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my dad and I had a yelling match about me "lying", because I was unable to contact iTunes support without a phone number. To prove a point, he went online to find the phone number. It's been an hour and he's still searching for the number. I can't leave the table until he has found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 221

You deserved it 3 530

Gamba streams ruin lives

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out my mother-in-law sold a precious family heirloom and gambled away the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 112

Useful

By Benchthewarmer - 08/07/2009 05:49 - United States

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 788

You deserved it 3 611

Bang one out

By exhausted without relief - 08/02/2023 14:00

Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 183

Help wanted

By What do I do? - 17/01/2026 09:00

Today, my husband dropped a bombshell when he served me divorce papers and a set of tests proving that our sons (7 and 9 years-old) are not his. I'm alone at home, scared shitless, and my poor kids don't understand where their dad is. I can't take them to their bio dad, since he died four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 463

By kerry - 20/01/2010 05:30 - Canada

Today, I found a piece of rice in my belly button. I can't remember the last time I ate or handled rice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 518

You deserved it 37 132

Going In Circles

By FML Videos - 06/10/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

You spin me right round baby right round...

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 93

Bricked up

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 11:00

Today, I got a haircut that makes me look like a Lego minifigure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 225

Drill sergeant

By Anonymous - 10/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my wife said I shouldn't wash or iron the clothes, or do the dusting and vacuuming, because, I "don't do it correctly." Also my wife: "You don't do anything to help around here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 177

Stormy weather

By Weathersucks - 17/01/2010 05:13 - France

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 735

You deserved it 3 084

By Baskets-Tailleur - 07/07/2014 06:58 - France

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 550

You deserved it 4 897

AAaaaaaah!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 754

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The Top

Today, my cat was diagnosed with FIV, to which my in-laws said, "That's impossible!" Apparently, what is possible though is that aliens are stealing their pool water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 040

You deserved it 867

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off, I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now… I wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 835

You deserved it 5 557

Today, as a teacher, I had a conference with the mother of a student who is struggling with behavior. Turns out the mom is the woman who does my Brazilian waxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 394

You deserved it 310

Today, I found out my family's Thanksgiving was canceled. Why? Because my mom doesn't want to cheat on her diet, so we aren't having it at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 158

Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 697

Today, I received a package that I thought contained a textbook for law school, for which I paid $130 used. Instead, I received a paperback novel titled "The Nosy Neighbor" by Fern Michaels. My semester starts next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 123