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Hi, OP here...Ok it was a couple days before Christmas that I ranted about it, and he had already bought me the bracelet. But It's not an FML because I hated the bracelet, it's an FML because I felt so bad about it and had no idea he got me one. The bracelet ended up being beautiful and thoughtful and I love it. The beads he got were the exact ones I would have picked out myself.

By lonely - 21/03/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, I posted an event to have a get together with friends. Most of them put "not attending". I hadn't even set the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 717

You deserved it 5 972

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 384

You deserved it 9 865

By pothole - 03/03/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 089

You deserved it 4 182

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 00:01

Today, I finally found something to be thankful for in my lonely life: At least I don’t have to panic whenever my period is late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 117

Clusterfuck

By Alexis - 18/08/2021 00:00

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 91

Alone time

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as a prank, I told my husband I was going to sleep alone in the spare room, just to see his panicked reaction. Not only did he not panic, he agreed straight away, then an hour later announced he was going to bed a whole three hours earlier than normal. I can hear him in there, watching TV, eating snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 148

Return to sender

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 09:00 - United States - Madison

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. with an extremely satisfying fart. It felt great and I probably would have fallen right back to sleep, except that my ass was 8 inches from the air intake of my CPAP machine that I use, due to smoke inhalation damage from being a firefighter. It was so gross that I threw up in the CPAP mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 252

Busted

By Kameron - 20/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my mom found out that I’ve been faking my exam grades, turning my 30s to 80s and 40s to 90s on the paper exams. She got access to my online student portal and saw my real grades. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 691

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 00:03 - United States

Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 2 025

Focus!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I cooked dinner, my girlfriend told me how much she missed me and how she wanted to spend more sexy time together. We climbed into bed and, right in the midst of getting frisky, her ADHD kicked in big time, so her mind went astray and then she just fell asleep. Perhaps some Adderall? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 137

By atleastmybreathisfresh - 28/02/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 442

You deserved it 28 792

keighty tells us more.

keighty 0

Monday 1 March 2010 3:35

This is my post. I agree with most of you. Total dumbass thing. I admit it. It didn't ruin my computer, just made my keys sticky for awhile and there are permanent smear marks on my screen. I did turn my head, ended up sneezing into my arm but it splashed down onto my computer. There just wasn't enough space to explain it. I decided to pay it before i spit cause i was trying to save time and only had to press a couple of buttons. Made sense at the time. Seemed like a waste to just stand there for 30 seconds and do nothing. Lesson learned. I had to pay it before I left for work because it was due that day by 3 and by the time i got home it would have been too late. Carry on the mocking :)

Friends like these

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 06:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I found out that my closest friend of many years had been putting on a charade of being my friend, and has decided that they can't be bothered with the effort of me existing any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 108

Small talk

By livvlynette - 27/02/2010 10:15 - Australia

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 151

You deserved it 4 278

By Cob - 03/02/2009 13:03 - United States

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 284

You deserved it 2 450

My brain hates me

By Anonymous - 23/08/2021 02:01 - Australia - Jerrabomberra

Today, I had my third incapacitating headache this week. This has been happening for months. Pain killers and other remedies seem to work at random, if at all. Nobody has been able to tell me the cause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 76

Steady as she goes

By Slippin' - 18/11/2022 00:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 03/12/2013 14:04 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 310

You deserved it 42 420

Kitchen nightmare

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 14:00

Today, I made my boyfriend a vanilla cake for our anniversary. We sat down to eat it and one bite in, my boyfriend gets a weird look on his face. I take a bite and notice that it tastes like corn. I found out later my dad had replaced all the flour with cornmeal without telling anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 453

By elphi - 15/12/2012 06:11 - United States - Savanna

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 697

You deserved it 3 225

elphi_fml tells us more.

elphi_fml 4

Sunday 16 December 2012 1:47

OP here! #35, etc. No second date. And...I can't discuss a ongoing investigation. #2 He tried to feel me up and I walked out.I was so scared I left my purse behind. #14 He's on security camera. #4 My limit's about 700 less than he wanted, and he didn't get any of it. #8 Card was instantly cancelled.He put it back. Haven't seen him since. At least the dinner was good.