Sex and Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 820

You deserved it 4 782

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 628

You deserved it 5 751

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 463

You deserved it 8 908

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 12 034

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 205

You deserved it 4 861

Ouch

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 23:12 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 29 406

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 5 006

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 03:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 866

You deserved it 6 008

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 5 029

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 664

You deserved it 15 453

Man's best friend

By jess - 02/07/2025 03:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 492

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:07

lmfao! Harold and Kumar quotes! ahahahah

deathartisan 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 20:10

hahaha. fyl op. but he is a funny guy. you should find a better quote to pull on him if you make him go down on you

Comments

chadwick110480 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:15

game, that guy has got game.

Cthulu 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:17

Snickerdoodles! You made a mistake! It should be "is not"! Shame on you!

imma1pimp 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:21

and why are you giving him head???

MhP_fml 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:22

is he a sailor? I heard that's what they eat when they're at sea for a long time.

TehFuzzyOne 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 23:14

I still don't know why everyone's always a dick to Snick. She's obviously a girl, and contrary to your beliefs, she's not wrong or a bitch for not being a ***** at (15/16).

TehFuzzyOne 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 23:16

...wrong comment. sorry.

KurouTenshi 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:23

you should've stopped and just been like "oh, I'm a vegetarian..."

sucubusdreams 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:25

haha that's just funny but hey if ur given a guy a bj then ur doin it for his benifit so let him say wat he wants to say

jjmjenni 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:28

u should of gave him a lil bite lol

maskedman 9

Wednesday 24 February 2010 21:30

I am hoping that most women know that everything a man does while having sex is not just to turn them on. Sometimes he will do or say things to stimulate himself.