Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you totally deserved it (1344)
On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
wow....how much of assholes can people be? It's not like you can control your own bodily functions. Maybe they should have just closed the vents.
It's like... it's like your asshole is Mt. Vesuvius and the poor toilet is Pompeii and all of its unsuspecting residents.
#3 - On 10/27/2009 at 4:20am by allmidnighteyes
"not everyone needs to hear", are you implying that only certain people do need to hear... what kind of a pervert are you... no one should need too or indeed want too listen to evacuate your bowels
#5 - On 10/27/2009 at 4:25am by commentator10101
What the hell? Like #1 said, you can't control your bodily functions. Maybe she got sick at work or has irritable bowel syndrome. She was in the TOILET at work. She didn't realise that everyone could hear her through the air conditioning vents. Sounds like her work needs to sort out their bathroom issues
#11 - On 10/27/2009 at 5:17am by onlysoph
I believe they were referring to the stupid ass sentence in the FML. "I realized not everyone needs to hear..." implies some people DO need to hear. This FML is pretty poorily written.
And OP unless this happened randomly in the middle of the work day, with no warning signs, YDI. But generally you know you are gonna have some issues early on...I hope you left work after that.
#43 - On 10/27/2009 at 12:26pm by KarasuFyre
Trying to... can't... stop.. ah screw it. Diarrhea song commence!
When you are walking down the hall and feel something fall...
Diarrhea... Diarrhea...
#7 - On 10/27/2009 at 4:52am by nokillnobeepbeep
#7 Wow dude that "Diarrhea song" that u got going on is a Lil creepy!.......#5 I'm pretty sure he was talking about the people that didn't hear it stop trying to make it something it's not!........OP that's truely messed up bro
#8 - On 10/27/2009 at 5:02am by lilturbo13
♪ When you’re looking at your shoes and you feel something ooze:
Diarrhea! Diarrhea! ♪
#30 - On 10/27/2009 at 8:52am by Brave_Sir_Robin
♪ When it comes out of your bum, like a bullet from a gun - Diarrhea! Diarrhea!♪
#31 - On 10/27/2009 at 9:28am by blastvortex
♪ When you’re shopping at the store and it’s dripping on the floor:
Diarrhea! Diarrhea! ♪
#33 - On 10/27/2009 at 9:56am by Brave_Sir_Robin
When you're climbin up the ladder, and you feel somethin splatter..
Diarrhea Diarrhea
..........???yea???? yea?? mmm..
#54 - On 10/27/2009 at 8:21pm by cucumberfabulous
If you're trynna walk around and you slip on something brown...
#60 - On 10/28/2009 at 4:47am by greenltrn2003
When your going down the slide and you feel something glide..
diarrhea...diarrhea
#63 - On 11/04/2009 at 11:29pm by portable_chicken
I really hate how you worded this. Everyone didn't need to hear it but they did? You shouldn't have lead with that useless as fuck sentence.
Go fuck yourself, and i hope it burned.
The people you work with are assholes...But then again,so am I.I'm not going to lie,you may have been doing everyone a favor,by brightening up their dull day at the office.Lets face it being unintentionally hilarious is always embarrassing,yet it is also an experience you can lean from.Use this to help you grow to be a better person.When you have any sort of condition that other people may find funny,or disgusting.Or maybe a combination of both,call in sick,or you will fall victim to many more incidents such as this one.
*I know you obviously didn't KNOW that they would be able to hear you.I'm also aware that it's not your fault in the least(Unless you're a pig and couldn't stop after your eighth bowl of chili that is...)However if you can learn to develop a sixth sense for this kind of thing,you will be able to avoid any situations like this in the near future.*
#17 - On 10/27/2009 at 6:30am by The_Advice_Guy
Why is all diarrhea on FML "explosive," and all vomit "projectile?" Doesn't anyone here ever have normal diarrhea or normal vomit?
Exactly - Americans seem to get this "explosive" condtion regularly if FML is to be believed. And they always get it "today" to go by the first word in the FMLs. Not a happy picture!
#57 - On 10/27/2009 at 9:43pm by balancekiwi
Hahaah! love that diarrea song! :)) op...you fail. hehe(;
#24 - On 10/27/2009 at 7:25am by stupiddumbblonde
@3: thank you for making my day
@22: thank you for the completely true equation, which I will use in the future.
@OP: thank you for posting a super lame FML, which always leads to some epic comments.
#25 - On 10/27/2009 at 7:32am by DynamicDave
♪ When you sitting in a boat and you see something float
Diarrhea! Diarrhea! ♪ (Edit - in response to #7)
#26 - On 10/27/2009 at 8:25am by Brave_Sir_Robin
I was about to click FYL when I realized that this actually says something rather telling about your physical state (i.e. since you're ill) and perhaps your dietary habits as well. Had you taken better care of your body, that might not have happened. =/ It sure does suck to be/get sick at work though.
#32 - On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am by blastvortex
Hot chicks don't poop? Either you're kidding or you need to be smacked across the face.
#36 - On 10/27/2009 at 10:25am by FinnGirl12
The only thing worse than having diarrhea is trying to do it discretely in a public restroom.
#35 - On 10/27/2009 at 10:09am by Phil_McCracken
Wow.
Not one person can spell 'DIARRHEA'. It's diarrhoea. See! I can be picky for no reason too.
#37 - On 10/27/2009 at 10:36am by initiatetheplans
@ blastvortex: WTF?! Health nuts, fitness freaks, vegans, Olympiads AND fatass slobs can all get diarrhea. Way to be a judgemental prick. Illness is not always your own fault.
#42 - On 10/27/2009 at 12:00pm by TheIrishJaneDoe
Guys I was being a smart ass about the 'Diarrhea song' hahaha
#46 - On 10/27/2009 at 2:19pm by lilturbo13
Get them to forward you the e-mail, and promptly copy and paste here in the comments section so we can all have another laugh at your misfortunes.
#48 - On 10/27/2009 at 3:12pm by Witchcraft
I got it, Witchcraft! Here it is:
Hey, gang, Nancy has explosive diarrhea! Pass it on (the note, not explosive diarrhea.)
I thought someone was practicing the trombone - Jim.
Sounded like mortar fire - Mike.
I thought someone had put a dead rat in my desk drawer. . . again - Mary
Now, I know why Nancy was talking loudly about Karen's explosive diarrhea, even though she is on vacation. - Kimberly
I wonder if Nancy likes it up there, Bow-chicka-wow-wow! - (name withheld by request)
Oh my god that's so mean. Sorry to hear that, people can be major jerks. And seriously sometimes you just can't control what the body does.
'Explosive diarrhea' is a funny way to phrase it thought, but then.. I've honestly had it happen. NOT fun or funny in any way.
#51 - On 10/27/2009 at 5:33pm by BadLuckBub
That's horrible, I'm positive everyone has had diarrhea once in their life.
They should know how bad it is.
