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Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
You say "several hours later" you realized your wallet was missing. This leads one to believe that you were either at another store, or at home. If you're at another store and you searched your house and the original store parking lot, this means you were in the car twice, so you should have felt it in the car at that point. If you were at your house already, you were still in the car once to go to the other store, so you should have felt it then, not on the drive back home. I call fake.
the only thing that would suck worse than that is if right after your parents were discussing some freak that needs help and it turned out to be you. man that would suck
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Friday 5 February 2016