Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17706) - you totally deserved it (2324)
On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)
(0)Slippers or comfy shoes worn around the house. Its not difficult ya stripper.
#72 - On 12/18/2009 at 1:56am by Mustardnight
Or maybe you trained your dog too well, what excellent aim!
#6 - On 12/17/2009 at 6:47am by krislee00
ew. its not as bad as cat pee&vomit all over your bed. feel fortunate.
#3 - On 12/17/2009 at 6:13am by ohhhhbriana
(0) Quit abusing Your beloved!
They do that cause often they are mistreated!!
#7 - On 12/17/2009 at 6:49am by Cristaderzi
(0)haha omfg this made my day :-P poor u tho OP tht sux major ;-P (still funny tho ;) )
#8 - On 12/17/2009 at 7:11am by baby_gurl2405
(+1)Fake on the shoe, and I suspect fake on the bed. Fake on the shoe because dogs simply do not have that kind of aim, particularly since when it comes to dumping they would have no motivation for dumping directly on an object. Fake on the bed since, if the dog sleeps on the bed, it would not crap on it because dogs generally do not shit where they sleep or eat (which is why crating dogs generally helps toilet training). And if it does not sleep on your bed, it would most likely not jump up there just to shit. Both these things separately are possible, and even together is a very remote possibility, but given FML users' propensity for submitting absolute bullshit, I call fake.
#10 - On 12/17/2009 at 7:28am by Flounder
(+1)I'm going to disagree with your comment, even though it seems like a valid point. I've been around cats and dogs my entire life until this year, but there were days when I've come home to find a present on my bed from the dog(s). Whether pee or crap, if the dog was scared or suffered from a bladder problem and couldn't hold it, they'll go right where it's convenient. Sometimes it'll be a bed, and sometimes it'll be all over a shoe. The only thing wrong with the OP's post is that, regardless of the dog's size, the dump is too big to simply be inside the shoe. It had to have been noticed outside as well. Only cats are crafty enough to crap inside of a shoe and not miss.
Nothing is worse than cat pee, though...I lost a pair of shoes as a result. -_-+
#40 - On 12/17/2009 at 11:14am by xxreikoxx
Wow. my parents dog pisses on their bed on occasion and he sleeps there... shame on them for getting a rat dog
#11 - On 12/17/2009 at 7:34am by Applepineapple31
(0)Sometimes dogs happy pee by accident. My dog would never poop on my bed but at times he gets really excited to see me or my brother and he squirts out a bit of pee. The vet says when he gets older he should grow out if it, but for now I use a matress pad.
#23 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:49am by Starfire22
(0)Judges? (looks towards an ominous table with three dead judges and a gavel)
Looks like we have a winrar. You can choose from this list of "wonderful" prizes:
1) A Jar of Almonds
2) The Best of John Denver collection
or you can choose what's behind the mysterious curtain...
#17 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:29am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)Are you sure? if you choose either prize #1 or #2, we'll throw in a complimentary PEZ dispenser in the shape of James Earl Jones (PEZ not included).
So... will you stick with the curtain or change your prize decision?
#21 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:38am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)I don’t know Brave_Sir_Robin…this is a hard decision, especially now that you’re included the PEZ-free PEZ dispenser. But no, I think I’ll stick to my original choice: the mysterious curtain!
(0)Okay... (drumrolls)
And your prize is... (curtain pulls back)
500 POUNDS OF DONKEY S**T AND A PACK OF MARLBORO CIGARETTES!!
EVERYONE CONGRATULATE RAYN4U FOR HIS AMAZING PRIZE!!
#26 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:48am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)Aw cool, cigarettes! I can share them with the children around the neighbourhood (that's how you get'em hooked early).
(0)but the kicker is the 500 lbs. of Donkey dung. I hear it's great this time of year for warmth...
#29 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:59am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)Unfortunately, you made your choice of what was behind the magic curtain.
However, I'm willing to let you trade everything you won (yes, even the cigarettes) for what's in the mysterious box. It's tempting, isn't it.
Temptation... temptation...
#36 - On 12/17/2009 at 10:46am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)Idiots...give the donkey doo and cigarettes to the OP, not the each other. -.-;
#42 - On 12/17/2009 at 11:16am by xxreikoxx
(0)Okay first of all, it was mysterious curtain, not magic curtain.
Second of all: mysterious box please (I'm already regretting my pack of ciggies)!!!
(0)First response - D'oh! (shakes fist at magic curtain) DAMN YOU MAGIC CURTAIN!!
Second response - Are you sure you want to trade in 500 pounds of donkey s**t and a pack of cigarettes (a great prize in my book) for what's in the mysterious box?
#44 - On 12/17/2009 at 11:42am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(0)500 pounds of donkey s**t and a pack of cigarettes may be awesome, but a mystery box could be anything...even 500 pounds of donkey s**t and a pack of cigarettes!
(0)When my dog shits in the house, I hit him with an empty paper towel roll. On the nose is most effective. It doesn't hurt much, but makes a lot of noise so he knows he did something wrong.
#14 - On 12/17/2009 at 7:56am by ChairForce
(0)How bout instead of abusing your dog you train him to go to the toilet outside. I have 2 dogs and it took less than 1 month when they were puppies to teach them. Dogs arn't stupid, people are.
(0)Dogs do not understand a punishment unless it is done a few seconds after the unwanted action occurs. So if you are just whacking your dog on the nose when you come home cause you see shit it is really not effectively training him. Your probably just mentally torturing the poor thing.
(0)Oh shit, Aback. I literally lmao'd for a good five minutes after reading that... hilarity.
#70 - On 12/17/2009 at 11:06pm by prttyyngthng
(0)Your dog has behavioral issues alright! He is showing dominance behavior, and you need to get proper treatment. At the least, you should crate him while you are out. Unless you like poo on your bed? Some people do, I suppose
#22 - On 12/17/2009 at 8:45am by GeorgeBoosh
(0)i always crate our german shepherd when we arent going to be home. you just never know what they will do when they get bored. ydi for not doing the same.
#25 - On 12/17/2009 at 9:29am by shortmomma88
(-1)YDI for having a dog. What did you expect, having an animal of inferior intellect around the house? At elast kids can learn.
And yes, i discriminate against all animals except for humans.
(0)You sound like an idiot and I would be down to harm you as well. Animals are much more intelligent than humans. They are non judgmental, live in peace with the environment and have better instincts. Just cause you know how to get on a computer and type some shit about animals being inferior does not make you intelligent. Get your head out of your ass and stop encouraging people to drill in ANWAR.
(0)Darkjoy wtf?
How are animals more intellgent than humans dumbass?
We ARE animals dumbfuck
If they were smarter they would be ruling the world and domesticating us.
but they're not, so get over it.
And any bitch like you can go on their little laptop and type out words to, you know that right?
I bet you didn't :)
#59 - On 12/17/2009 at 5:17pm by scateice
(0)Yea because "domesticating" and "ruling" things is what makes animals intelligent. That is why slaveholders were so intelligent. There are different areas of intelligent smart one. Furthermore, I realize that we are animals thank you for very much. I am just saying calling animals "inferior" makes someone seems very ignorant. I already stated why OTHER animals seem to be more intelligent than us, but granted these are other areas of intelligence. God this website is full of angry, uneducated people.
(0)DarkJoy, you definitely fucking win, man. You are so right. scateice, it's precisely because animals don't give a fuck about ruling the world that they are smarter than us.
If you leave dogs alone in the house for hours a day, where else are they going to go to the bathroom?
#32 - On 12/17/2009 at 10:20am by apfluxx
(0)Simple. House train your dog instead of bitching about it.
#38 - On 12/17/2009 at 11:00am by lostfaithinpppl
(0)Really? Your dog strategically placed his asshole into your house shoe and shat exactly where you wouldn't see it when you slipped your foot in?? Some dog. Fake or you are the most unobservant eff on the planet.
(0)i call fake because this is the third FML with her name on it that i've noticed. the last 2 were back to back.
nobodies real life is that fucked
#55 - On 12/17/2009 at 3:32pm by mike_dancefloor
(0)wtf. ydi for having a turd filled house. and 'house shoes' who has 'house shoes' thats so stupid.
(0)What is it with you fucking Americans who can't handle anything outside your own way of doing things. Different people have different names for different things. Get used to it. Not everywhere is Main St, US of A. And yes, I do realise the Op is American
(0)YDI for having "house shoes" (and if that means slippers in your tongue then: leave foreighner scum) and this is fake
#62 - On 12/17/2009 at 5:55pm by yes_im_hater
(0)What I always say, you pay a price for having pets. Don't get an irrational creature to live with you if you don't want it to do stupid things. You deserved it.
(0)And then I took out my cellphone to call the pound but the phone was covered in dogpoop, too!
And then I was so frustrated that I went to the fridge to get a beer, but there were turds in the beer bottles, too!
And then I logged onto FML to post this fake FML, but the dog had shit on the mouse, too!
(0)Your dog needs more exercise. Dogs will often express boredom or frustration like this, or by chewing up your stuff. You totally deserved this.
#76 - On 12/18/2009 at 10:25am by 3pennyprophet
(0)You must have pissed him off. When my dog gets really angry because I won't let her do something that she really wants to do, she'll start to rub her butt on the floor.
My dog is super spoiled and very smart. We have the exact same personality.
