Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5457) - you totally deserved it (24720)
On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
True. But as #27 said, it looks like the OP is too stupid to follow simple rules. They're there for more than pretty decoration, ya' know?
#28 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:57pm by Aha09
There needs to be an fml guide to abreviations because this question gets asked way too often...
#86 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:10pm by Starfire22
you totally deserve it, what kind of example r u giving to ur daughter??? next time READ the signs, the animals don't know if u r trying to be nice or rude to them they just react to whatever happens u threw something to them they r going to deffend themselves by throwing something too...
It was bologna wasn't it? I would have done the same thing. Does anyone know how to make a good sammich these days!?
#13 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:12pm by nokillnobeepbeep
Snap! fuckin' Crackle! Pop! And yes she does! Don't be jealous because your mom only makes sammiches that don't involve food, mmhmm! :)
#19 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:25pm by nokillnobeepbeep
They do have signs that say DON'T FEED THE FUCKING ANIMALS, y'know. The monkey was just reminding you.
"do not dive into shallow pool"
"dudeeee, go for it, man...."
#54 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:11am by jjcastillo
Hmm...I've never seen a sign that says "don't feed the fucking animals"
Besides, he didn't say the chimpanzee was having sex when he threw the sandwich...
#17 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:19pm by DynamicDave
OP, you deserve to be dipped into a pile of shit. Are you too stupid or illiterate to read the signs????
#18 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:24pm by lostfaithinpppl
OP, are you that stupid?! I hope the crap landed in your mouth. Effing moron!
#21 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:28pm by SarcasticAvenger
ok did you people go to grade school at all? it's YOU'RE not YOUR. when you think about it, say YOU ARE in place and then you'll realize which one to use
#70 - On 11/28/2009 at 3:29am by ole_and_lena
"your" is so much more fun to use the "you're" because people like you get so upset about it :)
#88 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:16pm by Starfire22
oh. guess what? like everyone else here- YDI for feeding an animal that is NOT supposed to eat sandwiches. =)
YDI. The real reason your life is fucked is because you're too stupid not to follow simple rules that are in place for a reason.
YDI.. Like everyone else said, don't feed the animals!! [; haha, ur stupidity made my night.
#29 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:04pm by optimus_prime420
Hey, #30, you must be related to the moron....I mean the OP.
Rules are in place for a reason, you don't feed the animals.
#91 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:28pm by SarcasticAvenger
well its your fault for throwing something at the chimp, because he didn't know if you were being friendly or aggressive. there's a magical little thing called following the rules, so when it says don't feed the animals it really means don't feed the animals.
Obviously you have never heard any joke about monkeys ever created.
#34 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:29pm by capthavoc123
on anoter note. only the gorillas get sandwiches. peanut butter with anti depressants in them actually.... from the zoo keeper. (the only way we can get them to take the meds)
Why would you give a chimp a sammich? Are you in a relationship with it? That might explain the poo fling also, Bobo's way of saying your a shit.
#45 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:30pm by CallMeHush
You know what he means, its just a way to describe it, yes we all know shit doesn't actually explode, get over yourself.
#52 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:56pm by expen_dable
1) That's what signs that say "Please do not feed the animals" are for
2) Chimps are the ugliest creatures i've ever seen. How could you think those ugly bastards are cute?
3) Since when does shit explode?
#48 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:45pm by Reese899
Because OP and you are two different people?
Wait, nevermind, because the universe exists only for you.
#63 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:57am by kevind23
Got to agree with number #1 i worked at a zoo for a couple of years.
#51 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:52pm by sorrysweety
The poor chimp! OP, please stay far away from zoos in the future.
#65 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:59am by kevind23
i am sure this is the reason they have the sigh : "DO NOT FEED ANIMALS".
you're retarded! Congratulations! :)
You should have taken a dump in your hands, and flung it at the chimp.
#71 - On 11/28/2009 at 3:45am by NorfolkDude
Glad to see that they're actually enforcing the "don't feed the animals" rule. I have to say, crap grenades sound like quite a deterrant.
This is the first fml where i actually laughed out loud. Feel proud OP, feel proud. If i could legally throw my shit at people i would rofl go CHIMP. Ydi OP
#74 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:19am by Mustardnight
Wait, I don't understand how that's possible. How can a chimpanzee be "cute"?
#75 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:37am by Emperor_Jim
Hahaa! OP is a moron. Or perhaps you don't have the "don't feed the animals"-signs over there in the UK?
I don't know if zoos in Northampton is any different from the zoos elsewhere,but there's usually a sign that states "DO NO FEED THE ANIMALS".You wanna know why we don't feed the animals?Because we don't want pieces of animal excrement thrown at us.
#77 - On 11/28/2009 at 8:20am by alpha_beta
lmaoaoao chimpanzees are br00tal
there's been a couple occasions where they have taken human babies and eaten them.
if you don't believe me , look it up !
#78 - On 11/28/2009 at 8:30am by lololol111
So you risked giving the chimpanzee something it could die from possibly, just to impress your daughter? Or what? The reason the sign of Do Not Feed the Animals is there is because a lot of animals have very specialized diets, and if given the wrong food, it can make them sick or kill them. You had no way of knowing whether what you were eating could cause a negative reaction in the chimpanzee. What would you have done, had it started to eat the sandwich and then began choking or having a bad reaction?
Great parenting skills. Teaching your kid to ignore posted signs and doing whatever you want as long as no one catches you. YDI
#83 - On 11/28/2009 at 10:37am by Punkartmama
if this is a woman: get in the kitchen and make him another and don't call your husband a chimp.
if this is a man: stinks dude, get your wife to make another one.
#84 - On 11/28/2009 at 11:02am by blah123blah
FYL and YDI, both, because you mustn't feed animals and animal crap can give you diseases.
#85 - On 11/28/2009 at 11:15am by TheComputerGuy96
all those big signs that say don't feed the animals, chyea you should probably listen. ydi for not being able to follow directions.
#87 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:15pm by Ladypartslegit
If you give a monkey a sammich, he is going to fling some poo.
If the monkey flings some poo, it will explode onto your shirt.
If the poo is on your shirt, your daughter will be disgusted.
If your daughter is disgusted, you will write about it on FML.
If you write about it on FML, people will critique you.
If people critique YOU, others will critique THEM.
If many people are being criticized, there are bound to be repetitions.
If there are bound to be repetitions, originality is priceless.
If originality is priceless, why aren't more people creative???
(with humble respect to "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.")
Made my day! Ever had a Chimp walk over and try to SHARE the sandwich? ;)
#95 - On 11/28/2009 at 10:15pm by Foufinator
What is up with the stupid fmylifes stories today? First killing global warming and now feeding animals?! What's next?! >:OOO
#96 - On 11/29/2009 at 12:10am by meunknown101
The chimp was just giving you thanks, in the only way he knows how. Poo = Love
#106 - On 11/30/2009 at 12:52pm by NrthrnLghts
You know what they say, if we don't follow the rules, we might as well throw feces at each other.
#108 - On 12/01/2009 at 12:17am by IveTriedYoga
