Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you totally deserved it (2839)
On 11/06/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ShittyKeys (man) - United States (California)
let her fish the keys out of the toilet, she peed/pooped on them
#1 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:20am by unfortunate_13
YDI for not picking it up in the first place. If it was a public restroom I'd understand. But this was your own toilet in your own home.
#57 - On 11/06/2009 at 9:25pm by GreenHacker
yeah im pretty sure if you told me to fish them out because you were a retard and dropped them in there without telling anyone not to use the toilet id tell you to go fuck yourself.
as if you wouldnt announce DONT USE THE TOILET the second you exited to avoid shit like this. its common fucking sense. and dropping your keys in there in the first place is stupid enough
YDI YDI YDI.
#60 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:08pm by organisedchaos
Wouldn't it of been easier to just reach in with your hands and grab them when you first dropped them in? If there was nothing else but water in the toilet, just wash your hands after.
lmfao....Perdix u don't always have to make an ass of yourself on everyone's posts..Please ..Just shut your face from now on..mmk?
#25 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:19pm by bsias4ever
I'm confused. You said you "lmfao" and then you tell me to shut up and go away.
Am I making you laugh too much?
It IS confusing. He says he is laughing his ass off and then asks you not to make moar. Now I'm concerned. Lawd knows that's something most want to hang on to tight. What have you got against ass, buddy? :]
So how did the conversation through the bathroom door go?
"Hey sis, stop I need to get ..."
"Sorry bro, I'm already ..."
Eww. I wonder who felt worse about the outcome?
#8 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:39am by wellinever
you have two very useful tools to fish keys out of the toilet with you at all times
they're called hands
Oh, putting your hand in the toilet, that's healthy... /sarcasm
Dude, stick your hand right into it and grab your keys, then wash them. No need for tools.
#11 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:58am by RataBlanca
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
What the Fuck are you doing with the keys over the toilet in the first place? You don't have a second set of keys?
If I were her, I would have shit, gave myself a courtesy flush, then wiped my a$$ while you were outside the bathroom crying/trying to get in. Fuck you for interupting her taking a shit!!!
If faced with a similar situation, such as a freak gardening accident when you "accidentally" sit on a cucumber pointing up, you need two things and two things fast: a pair of ice tongs and a friend who can keep a secret.
#14 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:23am by Brave_Sir_Robin
hahahaha (sympathetically) :) Id like to see that aka accident :D
op: i hope u used gloves and disinfected the crap out of it!! :D ewww
omghehehe, don't let that trixsy BSR fool you: There ARE no accidents with produce.
That said, "accident" is often the word used to describe it when you get caught. :o
hahahaha :D Mercy :)).....Shhhh.... according to BSR, it was (wink, wink) an "accident" LMAO. Keep up ur wonderful humor! I wish i was as funny as u and Perdix :D
If you dropped your keys in the toilet but your sister used it without flushing first means that there was nothing in there to begin with. If the toilet was empty, you should have just grabbed your keys with your hands like a normal person. I still don't get how you dropped your keys in there, though.
#16 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:29am by Callyn
I agree. Unless the OP didn't flush and then the sister somehow didn't mind that it wasn't flushed...
#33 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:40pm by sadistmonkey
i don't really see how this is an fml, it's just a close-call kind of story
#19 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:38am by erinreneehealey
If you don't find the prospect of fishing out pee or shit covered keys an fml... well, I just don't know.
#24 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:18pm by youKnowBetter
Actually, as gross as it sounds, if his sister just went pee, then it would be just as clean as sticking your hand in toilet water. Urine is sterile.
youre not much better than my physics teacher who ate foam packaging "peanuts" in the middle of class, saying it was biodegradable and isnt harmful. Poo is biodegradable.
Why do so many women just sit down on a toilet without looking? I know so many women who do this, and then complain when there's something there that they didn't see - like a raised seat or closed lid. Your sister should've fished them out for her sitting-without-looking-first maneuver. FYL, you didn't deserve THAT.
First of all, men should REALLY learn to put the seat down when they're done, if not the lid. It's not a hard concept, and it's actually more hygienic - by closing the lid you keep water from spraying out when you flush. Now as far as looking at the toilet - yes, you should check that the seat is down and the lid up, but you can see that from a distance as you approach the toilet, and raise/lower what you need without really looking. None of that requires looking INTO the toilet bowl. Why should you expect to have to check for things sitting in the water? Especially something like keys, which may have sunk down and be harder to notice at a cursory glance.
As for looking in the water first, it's just common sense to be sure nobody clogged it before you do your business. As for the lid, lid down, I agree. Seat down without lid - um, no. If men have to lift and lower, so should women. If you're not closing the lid, then it stays in last position. Personally, I always close the lid. I don't enjoy looking into a toilet when I'm washing my hands or brushing my teeth. And it keeps me from doing dumb shit like dropping keys into the bowl.
At least you got a free lunch out of it.. (shit sandwich)
#23 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:06pm by donkey_hang_down
A. For future reference: Use your hands, then use soap (most people wash their hands after toilet use anyway).
B. If you had already used the toilet and then dropped the keys, did you wash your hands before you went rooting around in the kitchen? Did you think you would find something in your KITCHEN that would solve this problem better that solution A? What, exactly? And were you planning to throw it out afterward or wash it? I wouldn't want any tools in my kitchen that I had used to fish around in my toilet.
Ick!
WHY ARE U SO FUCKING DUMB MAN?? TAKE A PLASTIC BAG AND PUT YOUR HANG IN THE BAG SO YOU CAN GET YOUR FUCKING KEY WITHOUT TOUCHING THE WATER !! YOU DUMBASS
it sounds like you dropped them into a toilet with only water, til your sister came. you should have just used your hands
#32 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:37pm by KarasuFyre
man, that must have been the shittiest part of your day!
#36 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:11pm by boredomkills89
1) How do you drop your keys in the toilet? And 2) If you weren't such a pansy and just reached in there to get them out you would have completely avoided the whole stupid situation. You totally deserve it.
Let me see if I am getting this right, because it seems too stupid to be accurate.
You dropped your keys into the toilet that had nothing in it but water. You didn't want to stick your HAND into the water so you went to the Kitchen to get something. Its too gross for you to put your hand in, but not to gross for you to put something food related in? Or even if it wasn't food related, it would still be near your food.
Also, what about washing the keys if they were in just the water. If you washed them, you would probably have to touch them, getting the same water on your hand you would have gotten on there by reaching your hand in to get them. And why is washing your keys off good enough, but washing your hand off not? Unless of course you didn't plan on washing them, in which case you'd still get the same water on you as you woud have sticking your hand in the water.
This FML is an overall YDI. I think that's one of the few times I've actually said that. If you had done the smart thing, and just picked up your god damn keys when you dropped them, the situation wouldn't have been a problem five minutes later.
#40 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:28pm by boatkicker
seriously, no offense but if youve got time to write an essay flaming an FML entry then.. well FYL bro.
My life isn't fucked. Its boring because three days a weeks i have to wait 4 hours for a ride and cant go anywhere, but thats not life-fucking. Its just general day-to-day crap. Similar to this FML. not really life fucking.
#66 - On 11/07/2009 at 1:38pm by boatkicker
if you hadn't already gone to the bathroom thats what you get for not just sticking your hand into the toilet bowl....
#46 - On 11/06/2009 at 2:01pm by jenniferyoung120
Oh, good idea! I dropped the keys in the toilet, so let's go get something in the kitchen- something I most likely eat with- to fish them out! What a fantastical idea!
#47 - On 11/06/2009 at 2:19pm by yorkiegirl1691
you deserve it. it wouldnt have killed you to stick your hand in the bowl. That's what soap is for.
#50 - On 11/06/2009 at 3:07pm by AngelRaven89
Whenever my sister's brats drop random objects in the toilet, she sticks her hand in a trash bag, fishes it out, and disinfects it. Her hand stays clean.
Or, since it's keys, get a wire coathanger and catch the hook on the key ring. The soak the keys in bleach/water solution. (Unless bleach and metal cause a dangerous chemical reaction, then just use good soap.)
#53 - On 11/06/2009 at 4:41pm by ScaryyMary
I had to do the plastic bag thing to get a frog out of my grandma's toilet because my older sisters wouldn't... turns out there was a hole in the bag... yay.
#65 - On 11/07/2009 at 8:46am by KatieGoesRawrr
Omfg! My friend did the exact same fucking thing with her fone.
#59 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:09pm by NapoleonDynamite
how is this an FML? u got ur keys back and everything. so nothing bad ever really happened unless u got poop all over ur keys. ive had worse shit happen to me daily. MLIA is way better than this site
#67 - On 11/12/2009 at 8:33am by blobner_bob
