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Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you totally deserved it (2839)

On 11/06/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ShittyKeys (man) - United States (California)

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obese_chicken's life also sucks

anonymous also deserved it

Comments

let her fish the keys out of the toilet, she peed/pooped on them

#1 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:20am by unfortunate_13

yea i think id do that too, if shes not a bitch she would do it

#13 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:15am by nando92

OP: your hand?

#15 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:25am by Reyo

Use your hand. Then wash off any sticky bits. YDI.

#20 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:41am by maruchan

YDI for being a pussy and not picking it up with your hands.

#56 - On 11/06/2009 at 8:33pm by ortega

YDI for not picking it up in the first place. If it was a public restroom I'd understand. But this was your own toilet in your own home.

#57 - On 11/06/2009 at 9:25pm by GreenHacker

yeah im pretty sure if you told me to fish them out because you were a retard and dropped them in there without telling anyone not to use the toilet id tell you to go fuck yourself.

as if you wouldnt announce DONT USE THE TOILET the second you exited to avoid shit like this. its common fucking sense. and dropping your keys in there in the first place is stupid enough

YDI YDI YDI.

#60 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:08pm by organisedchaos

oh man xD

#2 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:23am by keep_smiling

that's a shitty situation. don't get down in the dumps.

#3 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:23am by awesome_o

that's a shitty situation, I bet he was pissed :P

#5 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:26am by unfortunate_13

Oh yes you are the lucky one! I am so jealous :D

#4 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:25am by Sun_Kissed18

Wouldn't it of been easier to just reach in with your hands and grab them when you first dropped them in? If there was nothing else but water in the toilet, just wash your hands after.

#6 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:31am by alexgirl

This.

You deserve it, OP.

#49 - On 11/06/2009 at 2:44pm by myballs

Luckily, you drive a piece of shit car, and it can be started with the turd you fished out.

#7 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:32am by perdix

lmfao....Perdix u don't always have to make an ass of yourself on everyone's posts..Please ..Just shut your face from now on..mmk?

#25 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:19pm by bsias4ever

I'm confused. You said you "lmfao" and then you tell me to shut up and go away.

Am I making you laugh too much?

#31 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:35pm by perdix

It IS confusing. He says he is laughing his ass off and then asks you not to make moar. Now I'm concerned. Lawd knows that's something most want to hang on to tight. What have you got against ass, buddy? :]

#43 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:40pm by mercyFML

So how did the conversation through the bathroom door go?
"Hey sis, stop I need to get ..."
"Sorry bro, I'm already ..."
Eww. I wonder who felt worse about the outcome?

#8 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:39am by wellinever

you have two very useful tools to fish keys out of the toilet with you at all times

they're called hands

#9 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:51am by d4m4s74

They're called "her hands"..

#10 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:56am by mercyFML

Oh, putting your hand in the toilet, that's healthy... /sarcasm


Dude, stick your hand right into it and grab your keys, then wash them. No need for tools.

#11 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:58am by RataBlanca

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

What the Fuck are you doing with the keys over the toilet in the first place? You don't have a second set of keys?

If I were her, I would have shit, gave myself a courtesy flush, then wiped my a$$ while you were outside the bathroom crying/trying to get in. Fuck you for interupting her taking a shit!!!

#12 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:15am by Skull_300

If faced with a similar situation, such as a freak gardening accident when you "accidentally" sit on a cucumber pointing up, you need two things and two things fast: a pair of ice tongs and a friend who can keep a secret.

#14 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:23am by Brave_Sir_Robin

hahahaha (sympathetically) :) Id like to see that aka accident :D

op: i hope u used gloves and disinfected the crap out of it!! :D ewww

#17 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:33am by omghehehe

omghehehe, don't let that trixsy BSR fool you: There ARE no accidents with produce.
That said, "accident" is often the word used to describe it when you get caught. :o

#38 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:20pm by mercyFML

hahahaha :D Mercy :)).....Shhhh.... according to BSR, it was (wink, wink) an "accident" LMAO. Keep up ur wonderful humor! I wish i was as funny as u and Perdix :D

#58 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:08pm by omghehehe

If you dropped your keys in the toilet but your sister used it without flushing first means that there was nothing in there to begin with. If the toilet was empty, you should have just grabbed your keys with your hands like a normal person. I still don't get how you dropped your keys in there, though.

#16 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:29am by Callyn

I agree. Unless the OP didn't flush and then the sister somehow didn't mind that it wasn't flushed...

#33 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:40pm by sadistmonkey

i don't really see how this is an fml, it's just a close-call kind of story

#19 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:38am by erinreneehealey

If you don't find the prospect of fishing out pee or shit covered keys an fml... well, I just don't know.

#24 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:18pm by youKnowBetter

Actually, as gross as it sounds, if his sister just went pee, then it would be just as clean as sticking your hand in toilet water. Urine is sterile.

#41 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:30pm by rx0829

youre not much better than my physics teacher who ate foam packaging "peanuts" in the middle of class, saying it was biodegradable and isnt harmful. Poo is biodegradable.

#63 - On 11/07/2009 at 7:18am by andyroxs

i would've just grabbed them and just wash my hands after...

#21 - On 11/06/2009 at 11:47am by Jaygirl

Why do so many women just sit down on a toilet without looking? I know so many women who do this, and then complain when there's something there that they didn't see - like a raised seat or closed lid. Your sister should've fished them out for her sitting-without-looking-first maneuver. FYL, you didn't deserve THAT.

#22 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:02pm by Mr_Eated

First of all, men should REALLY learn to put the seat down when they're done, if not the lid. It's not a hard concept, and it's actually more hygienic - by closing the lid you keep water from spraying out when you flush. Now as far as looking at the toilet - yes, you should check that the seat is down and the lid up, but you can see that from a distance as you approach the toilet, and raise/lower what you need without really looking. None of that requires looking INTO the toilet bowl. Why should you expect to have to check for things sitting in the water? Especially something like keys, which may have sunk down and be harder to notice at a cursory glance.

#34 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:58pm by your_face

As for looking in the water first, it's just common sense to be sure nobody clogged it before you do your business. As for the lid, lid down, I agree. Seat down without lid - um, no. If men have to lift and lower, so should women. If you're not closing the lid, then it stays in last position. Personally, I always close the lid. I don't enjoy looking into a toilet when I'm washing my hands or brushing my teeth. And it keeps me from doing dumb shit like dropping keys into the bowl.

#62 - On 11/07/2009 at 6:26am by Mr_Eated

At least you got a free lunch out of it.. (shit sandwich)

#23 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:06pm by donkey_hang_down

That explains the shit eating grin.

#39 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:23pm by CallMeHush

Would his name be shit face then?

#42 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:35pm by donkey_hang_down

A. For future reference: Use your hands, then use soap (most people wash their hands after toilet use anyway).

B. If you had already used the toilet and then dropped the keys, did you wash your hands before you went rooting around in the kitchen? Did you think you would find something in your KITCHEN that would solve this problem better that solution A? What, exactly? And were you planning to throw it out afterward or wash it? I wouldn't want any tools in my kitchen that I had used to fish around in my toilet.

Ick!

#26 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:30pm by Anonymiz

WHY ARE U SO FUCKING DUMB MAN?? TAKE A PLASTIC BAG AND PUT YOUR HANG IN THE BAG SO YOU CAN GET YOUR FUCKING KEY WITHOUT TOUCHING THE WATER !! YOU DUMBASS

#28 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:33pm by Dydy

what's your definition of luck?

#29 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:33pm by BB7

hand* omg please man ... use your brain !!!

#30 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:34pm by Dydy

it sounds like you dropped them into a toilet with only water, til your sister came. you should have just used your hands

#32 - On 11/06/2009 at 12:37pm by KarasuFyre

#29 - what's your definition of sarcasm?

#35 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:00pm by your_face

dude, I know this is a sarcasm! I just find it funny

#48 - On 11/06/2009 at 2:26pm by BB7

man, that must have been the shittiest part of your day!

#36 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:11pm by boredomkills89

1) How do you drop your keys in the toilet? And 2) If you weren't such a pansy and just reached in there to get them out you would have completely avoided the whole stupid situation. You totally deserve it.

#37 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:20pm by pandamel

Let me see if I am getting this right, because it seems too stupid to be accurate.

You dropped your keys into the toilet that had nothing in it but water. You didn't want to stick your HAND into the water so you went to the Kitchen to get something. Its too gross for you to put your hand in, but not to gross for you to put something food related in? Or even if it wasn't food related, it would still be near your food.

Also, what about washing the keys if they were in just the water. If you washed them, you would probably have to touch them, getting the same water on your hand you would have gotten on there by reaching your hand in to get them. And why is washing your keys off good enough, but washing your hand off not? Unless of course you didn't plan on washing them, in which case you'd still get the same water on you as you woud have sticking your hand in the water.


This FML is an overall YDI. I think that's one of the few times I've actually said that. If you had done the smart thing, and just picked up your god damn keys when you dropped them, the situation wouldn't have been a problem five minutes later.

#40 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:28pm by boatkicker

seriously, no offense but if youve got time to write an essay flaming an FML entry then.. well FYL bro.

#64 - On 11/07/2009 at 7:20am by andyroxs

My life isn't fucked. Its boring because three days a weeks i have to wait 4 hours for a ride and cant go anywhere, but thats not life-fucking. Its just general day-to-day crap. Similar to this FML. not really life fucking.

#66 - On 11/07/2009 at 1:38pm by boatkicker

This comment has been moderated.

#44 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:53pm by Tangaman

oh man i totally feel for you. i could just imagine.

#45 - On 11/06/2009 at 1:55pm by prntl_ovrload

if you hadn't already gone to the bathroom thats what you get for not just sticking your hand into the toilet bowl....

#46 - On 11/06/2009 at 2:01pm by jenniferyoung120

Oh, good idea! I dropped the keys in the toilet, so let's go get something in the kitchen- something I most likely eat with- to fish them out! What a fantastical idea!

#47 - On 11/06/2009 at 2:19pm by yorkiegirl1691

you deserve it. it wouldnt have killed you to stick your hand in the bowl. That's what soap is for.

#50 - On 11/06/2009 at 3:07pm by AngelRaven89

better than your phone.

#51 - On 11/06/2009 at 3:15pm by rachelbrianna25

If you flush the toilet, the keys will just stay there. :)

#52 - On 11/06/2009 at 3:27pm by KooKs_14

Whenever my sister's brats drop random objects in the toilet, she sticks her hand in a trash bag, fishes it out, and disinfects it. Her hand stays clean.

Or, since it's keys, get a wire coathanger and catch the hook on the key ring. The soak the keys in bleach/water solution. (Unless bleach and metal cause a dangerous chemical reaction, then just use good soap.)

#53 - On 11/06/2009 at 4:41pm by ScaryyMary

I had to do the plastic bag thing to get a frog out of my grandma's toilet because my older sisters wouldn't... turns out there was a hole in the bag... yay.

#65 - On 11/07/2009 at 8:46am by KatieGoesRawrr

Shitty situation huh

#54 - On 11/06/2009 at 7:40pm by longoria13

I was wondering if it was No. 1 or No. 2 when I looked at your username. :D

#55 - On 11/06/2009 at 8:16pm by wordgirl

Omfg! My friend did the exact same fucking thing with her fone.

#59 - On 11/06/2009 at 10:09pm by NapoleonDynamite

notification of displacement of keys before your sister shits on them.theres an app for that.

#61 - On 11/07/2009 at 12:25am by tmptmptmp

how is this an FML? u got ur keys back and everything. so nothing bad ever really happened unless u got poop all over ur keys. ive had worse shit happen to me daily. MLIA is way better than this site

#67 - On 11/12/2009 at 8:33am by blobner_bob

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