Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and proceeded to lather up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you totally deserved it (4907)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
I'm going to be the first to say it. DONT use the word "proceeded".
#11 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:34pm by too_much_fun
Seriously, you and everyone else, get your panties out of a twist. It's just a fucking word. Would you rather them say 'and then' or 'continued to'? I invite you to go into any high school and explain to the teachers that proceeded is no longer an acceptable word to use. Really.
Remember, people misuse words ALL THE TIME! And I hardly notice the word being used anymore. Just calm down.
#20 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:46pm by redbluegreen
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
I'm actually being the calm one. My comment was a mere two sentences. You decided it was necessary to use swear words and take a whole paragraph to criticize me.
So, I think you should "proceed" to shut up, and calm down yourself. ;)
#21 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:50pm by too_much_fun
I see people say that on here ALL the time. I don't get it. What is so wrong with 'proceeded'? It's a perfectly normal and common part of the English language. What's got everyone's panties in a twist?
#40 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:32pm by quantum_insanity
People just love to bitch. ^ ^
I love having little explosive rants. It's sadder when people read them.
#43 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:41pm by redbluegreen
Type in the word "proceeded" into search and you'll see what I mean. Its time to be a little more original people.
#46 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:47pm by too_much_fun
1. to move or go forward or onward, esp. after stopping.
2. to carry on or continue any action or process.
3. to go on to do something.
4. to continue one's discourse.
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/proceeded)
Meaning number 1 and 2 seem particularly apt in this case.
#53 - On 10/06/2009 at 10:05pm by quantum_insanity
No, dont search the dictionary. I meant type the word "proceeded" into the FML search. Hundreds of people have used the very same word in all their FMLs. And that, is the reason people are trying to stop it.
Its annoying. Be original.
#64 - On 10/06/2009 at 10:51pm by too_much_fun
Are you also on a crusade to stop millions of people who, every day, happen to use the same words as millions of other people?
Proceeded is a word that works here and in other FMLs. What reason is there to be upset? Be more original with the things you complain about, please.
Oh I see, well actually you do have a point there, but there are tons of other words that everyone uses all the time too, so your point is a bit pointless :p
#73 - On 10/06/2009 at 11:14pm by quantum_insanity
Originality is a lie.
http://i37.tinypic.com/4h3whk.jpg
That's all that comes to mind, honestly. Along with other quotes, but I hate when people say or claim to "be original". We can't all invent something every time we want to open our mouths.
#74 - On 10/06/2009 at 11:22pm by redbluegreen
Oh boo-hoo.
Someone on a website used a word that has already been used before!
What ever shall we do? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE FUTURE OF VOCABULARY?!
They can say "proceeded" if they want to. Jesus Christ.
You don't yell at people for saying "said" instead of "vocalized".
>.>
#97 - On 10/07/2009 at 6:47am by Ohnothingreally
ok too much fun your really annoying, and not slick. your just a little Internet faggot, stfu and go stuff your face with more cookies.
#114 - On 01/30/2010 at 1:14am by Poke_Her_Face
Look at it this way...at least it was clean cockroach...
#2 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:20pm by MiddleChild08
Im hoping you showered... again.
Without the roach this time.
#3 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:23pm by Whats_Love09
Do you not clean your shower? This could of been avoided. YDI
#4 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:26pm by cynicallysenecal
I pay my brother to use one just so I can say I know a guy who uses one.
#14 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:36pm by redbluegreen
Eh, he hasn't asked for the money. It's kinda funny. You've never been bored and paid your siblings to do something?
#41 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:38pm by redbluegreen
you took the words out of my mouth. i agree. he totally deserves it for being a dude and using a loofa.
#51 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:58pm by ned_schneebley
Hmmm? Am I the only dude who uses body wash? I only use bar soap for making things go BOOM!
#56 - On 10/06/2009 at 10:32pm by nokillnobeepbeep
Hah! Good to see you... sir.
I could do this all day, but for the sake of everyone else who chooses to scroll through the comments, I won't.
Who gives a fuck about them? I don't. They who choose to read the comments... Choose to read the comments, for better or worse. I'd rather have witty comments with a point then 50 comments all saying, "YDI for being a douchenozzle!" Wouldn't you?
#83 - On 10/07/2009 at 12:04am by redbluegreen
At first I thought loofa was a euphemism for vagina, but then the context made clear that's not what it was. I agree with all the other commenters that YDI for being a man and using a loofa.
#95 - On 10/07/2009 at 4:19am by yardsgreen
I can only imagine how grody the rest of your house must be...
#12 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:35pm by redhead12
Nah, I think I have the cleanest house in the history of clean houses and I STILL get the occasional roach in my basement...where there's humidity and if you have neighbors it's pretty much unavoidable. But how did you not see something darkish in your loofa? I don't really get it...and wouldn't you feel it while lathering up? You know, something hard that's not supposed to be there? I don't know.....but in any case I would be scarred for life if I were you.
That's pretty traumatizing, but at least you can console yourself that the roach had a much weirder experience than you.
#19 - On 10/06/2009 at 7:43pm by HaveNoShame
this happened to me once, only instead of a little black roach it was a big waterbug, and instead of its antenna poking out, it shed its skin inside the loofa and dropped to the tub floor all white and semi-transparent. fortunately i had not used the loofa yet. D:
#24 - On 10/06/2009 at 8:03pm by diet_otaku
Oh my fucking god. I think I'm going to have nightmares about that.
#82 - On 10/07/2009 at 12:00am by JukeboxBunny
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. :/
This can't be an FML for the OP if he was willing to wash with a pube, because in my opinion a roach isn't much worse.
Or possibly it was the bugs in his pubes that bred the roach in his loofah?
#48 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:47pm by Witchcraft
48 That made me misinterpret and think he did that roach a certain favor...
#92 - On 10/07/2009 at 1:33am by DameGreyWulf
LMFAO. That's what I was thinking. I was waiting for "I found out it was a cockroach antenna. After I stuck it in my mouth. FML"
So you rubbed your junk with a roach. Big deal. If you think that's the worst thing to ever make contact with it you're golden.
And ydi for using a loofa. Be a man. Use sandpaper.
Not an FML buddy. Honestly, there are worse things in life? Did it kill you? I doubt it. Does it bite? No. How is your life fucked?
really if it killed him would it be on here no........
Almost none of these are FMLs because not a lot will fuck up your life.
But who the fuck cares they are funny or gross or funny gross
I enjoy them even if it is whining
Even if you smashed it with your loofa it would still be alive. Oh, don't you LOVE roaches??
#49 - On 10/06/2009 at 9:52pm by MrsDracoMalfoy
Ok, I see a lot of "dirty shower" comments. Am I the only one who thought that maybe the shower wasn't necessarily really moldy and gross, just that he doesn't shower often enough to keep curious bugs away? Either way it’s disgusting!
#54 - On 10/06/2009 at 10:10pm by Sun_Kissed18
"Today I was hanging out in a loofah, and then out of nowhere this human picked it up and proceeded to wash themselves with it. With me still in it. FML"
#58 - On 10/06/2009 at 10:40pm by cryptopath
These are usually funny, but this requires me to believe that a roach could actually talk, and that I would actually care what it had to say.
When I was a kid, I woke up early one morning and decided to go out and play. I put my bare foot in my shoe and felt something like peanut butter inbetween my toes. i pulled out my foot out and realized I squished a cockroach hiding in my shoe, bits and pieces of it were on my foot.
I just invite you to see it from the roaches point of view. I bet that wasn't a pretty picture either.
#72 - On 10/06/2009 at 11:07pm by mytheyeless
Roaches like to get clean too ya know...actually roaches are disturbingly clean, dirt and germs don't really stick to them as easily...
#75 - On 10/06/2009 at 11:22pm by 17xVampx17
It says under the FML, dear.
#5685811 (86) I agree, your life sucks (9846) - yeah! way to show 'em (2009)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
#87 - On 10/07/2009 at 12:44am by redbluegreen
cockroaches actually keep themselves very clean, their surroundings usually dirtier than they are.. so I wouldn't worry about germs
Today, I was hanging out in my loofa when some asshole picked me up and rubbed me all over his naked body. FML
#102 - On 10/07/2009 at 4:42pm by freepwnyride
I actually laughed out loud to this, not the real FML. :)
#107 - On 10/08/2009 at 3:20pm by ohwoahemilyy
The main problem is that you're a guy using a loofa.
#105 - On 10/08/2009 at 2:19am by Mountaineerman
...I really don't see a problem with a guy using a loofa. You people need to get over yourselves.
and ew, OP. That... sucks.
Euch. At least you were taking a shower when it happened, so you could just wash it right off.
#109 - On 10/10/2009 at 12:42pm by antonioohama
Wow. Seriously people. Grow up. Who cares if a guy is using a loofa? At least they're actually cleaning themselves properly. I don't care how "manly" being a dirty slob is, I wouldn't date someone who can't clean themselves properly. What's next, is using Conditioner evil? Shall we pull soap from the list as well? Heck, know what? Just forget the whole thing. Why even bother washing yourself, right?
Honestly, I'm more surprised by the fact that he didn't remove the hair from it. Kinda slobbish if you ask me.
As for why a roach might wind up in someone's shower. Roaches are quite fond of warm, humid places... so it's not surprising one might decide to hide in the shower. No matter how thorough you are, they still manage to get through sometimes, so "cleanliness" isn't going to outright prevent that, however, seeing as how this person leaves dirty hairs in their loofa, it's possible they could have a messy house.
#111 - On 10/11/2009 at 5:19am by KelsieKatt
