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Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (43371) - you totally deserved it (3046)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

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Comments

I love doing that to my friends too!

#1 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:08am by Defiant47

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

YDI for being gay

#40 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:20pm by dx169

Ah that sux...I'm sorry about that =P

#53 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:56pm by XxHannahxX

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

YDI for playing football, and telling your mom you are not gay even though you are. go get some ass.




I GEt ( Y )

#64 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:57pm by I_GET_ASS

GO DEEP

#99 - On 08/10/2009 at 9:02pm by unkinged44

hehe go deep makes happy.

not like that you perv, although...

#149 - On 02/04/2010 at 8:56pm by hellokittywhore

Bad timing :(

#2 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:08am by ckin2u

Well, are you?

#3 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:09am by Suree

^^

Same question, are you or not? I honestly can't decide here.

#29 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:29am by genius_man16

i'm guessing she was right though? awkward, but she sounds supportive so it isn't that bad of a situation

#4 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:11am by kk611

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Did you put "show tunes" on and sing along while she was driving to practice?

#19 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:40am by Skull_300

well, for a parent to ask if you are gay and if someone is your lover, it means they are ready for you to say yes if it is true. it's possible she said it in a rude way, but my guess is the guy actually is gay and she was right and just wanted him to be open.

#83 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:27pm by kk611

sucks...

#5 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:13am by Aliaandraa

haha :)

#6 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:15am by robert_dk3

This comment has been moderated.

#7 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:18am by untoldfame

This comment has been moderated.

#20 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:41am by BurpusMe

#27 Rugby isnot for gay people sheesh I wish people would play a sport before calling it gay -_- Rugby is one of the toughest sports out there. Go play a Prop or a Second Row because you wouldn't survive.

#30 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:29am by Failed_Love

Sexually insecure much, bro?

#58 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:29pm by Gavik

The whole rugby =groping men= gay is not something I believe to be true, but it's the only real thing I can say to the fucking rugby-addicted jocks in my year.

#74 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:35pm by divineinstrument

I agree with #58

#143 - On 10/01/2009 at 3:37pm by Rach_star

that's funny.

#8 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:21am by Xeph

Oh, that's funny!

But really, your sexuality isn't any of your mom's damn business.

#9 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:21am by aback

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Actually, she's one of the few people whose business it is. If he's gay, she has less of a chance of having grandchildren.

#11 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:27am by potatopeeler

If she had kids for the sole purpose of controlling the rest of their lives, she fucked up.

#18 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:36am by aback

And how does that make it her business, potatopeeler? Even if he is straight, that doesn't mean that he wants kids and his mom doesn't have any say in that whatsoever.

#28 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:24am by Callyn

....that still doesn't make it her business! Who cares if she gets grandchildren from him or not? She shouldn't be concerned with only that in life!

#59 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:33pm by Amkii

She never controlled him she just said he's gay that's not 'controlling'

#75 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:38pm by USMC_Marine

She never controlled him she just said he's gay that's not 'controlling'

#77 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:40pm by USMC_Marine

If she's all up in his sex life because she'd planned to demand grandchildren, that's controlling.

#85 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:00pm by aback

(I think FML ate my reply again... shoulda copied...)

I think it's her business, solely because she's his mother. However, she has no right to accuse him or demand he tell her; that's up to him, and if he never says a word, then it's only her fault because she made him so uncomfortable about it. You're supposed to be able to tell your mother anything...

#93 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:01pm by DameGreyWulf

So you think it's her business but that he has no obligation to tell her or listen to her opinions about it? How is that her business again?

#108 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:30pm by Callyn

i thnk she shud kno jus in case sumthing happens to him. Sum1 mite hurt him becuz of his sexual preference. It'd b better she hear it from him b4 than to have the police tell her that her son was assaulted in a hate crime.

#111 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:10am by aria02

Translation to English please?

#120 - On 08/11/2009 at 11:27am by mike1921

108: Just because she's family, and specifically because she's his mother. It's something that concerns that little thing she pushed out of her body and continued to support though it wasn't attached to her any longer.
I DO personally think he should tell her, but what I meant is that it's not up to his mother to demand when.

I think 111 has a point, horribly written though it is. You know, she wouldn't (or at least shouldn't) want her son to be involved in a fag drag.


But of course, apparently he is not gay, so it doesn't matter.

#121 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:11pm by DameGreyWulf

why nt 9? when ppl are straight they dont try to keep THAT from there parents....

#134 - On 08/13/2009 at 4:14pm by lalocaqmas

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

. . . you guys are fucking retarded he meant he hit him hard with the "ball" not with his cock sick pervs

#10 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:25am by Unregistered

omg reallyyyyyyyyyyy????? we cudnt tell.............................................................

#22 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:54am by gRkShOrTiEe4LiFe

so Unregistered didnt register that we knew that the mother thought what he said meant that the op and his friend had sex last night...that fits your name perfectly!

#31 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:30am by Jakester

Sounds like a start to one of those cheap comedies with cheap gay innuendos everywhere.

#12 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:28am by RitzyHoke

"let's corner the nerds and make them show us their penises! wouldn't that be gay of them?"

#13 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:30am by definatelywierd

Yay, family guy references. -_-

#25 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:03am by TheLetterZero

but you knew it was family guy...

#91 - On 08/10/2009 at 6:26pm by phiaphia

He sounds hot. You should totally go for it. Mom thinks it's cool, too. :]

#14 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:30am by mercyFML

duh.........

#15 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:31am by RitzyHoke

its not of your mom's bussines.. fuhreal xD.. your friend sounds to be hot.. if i were you.. i would think about it xD

#16 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am by Airdoggy

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Football ftw! Butt-buddies FTL

#17 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:35am by irishdubr

LOL!! I hate it when things like tht happen

#21 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:46am by gclunax

I bet he said "Hit me hard last night" because he meant football practice. I feel for you. FYL

#23 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:55am by Rock_squared

Get some pictures of you with a whore or something, that should convince her.

#24 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:59am by RuralNinja

that'd got to be awkward. FYL. Good luck convincing her otherwise now.

#26 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:13am by paintballer87

wait for a while and then get your 2 girlfriends to greet you when you are with your mother and say "Man that threesome was AMAZING last night!" XD

#32 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:33am by Jakester

ahahahah

#34 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:46am by jmeg

Unfortunate timing.

#35 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:52am by somethingawesome

nvm

#52 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:55pm by PubliliusSyracus

it's a bad idea to not tell her thr truth, because she'll find out eventually that you lied. if you're not, say you're not. say you promise you would tell her if you were gay.

#36 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:56am by triplethreat13

That's pretty damn hilarious. Sorry,

#38 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:09pm by scarletlily

LMFAO!

#41 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:23pm by City_Chick

uh, yeah that must suck.
and if you are gay, then dont be afraid to tell your family, or else theyd find out in a bad way. o.0

#42 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:35pm by EmoFromMiramar

YDI for playing American football. Dumbest sport evar!

#43 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:38pm by Travel

Indeed... Just because I root for my college's team doesn't mean I like the sport.

#92 - On 08/10/2009 at 6:38pm by themixedt4pe

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Tell your friend to stop acting gay or you will find a new friend.

#44 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:38pm by I_am_stupid_also

why do football players always slap each other on the ass?

#45 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:42pm by Einstein714

Was that a set up ... or he just wanned to piss u off or somethin ^^

#46 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:43pm by dark___wizard

hahah did you? :]

#47 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:48pm by santafay

Ha that sux cock
Like u

#48 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:49pm by josie1238

are you gay ?

#49 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:49pm by Zero2Sixty

bring a girl home and have loud sex while she is home

#50 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:51pm by ryan100

That's kinda hot. PIX PLZ lawl

#51 - On 08/10/2009 at 12:55pm by harveywallbanger

guys he didn't say he was gay.

#54 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:01pm by blackberry1993

LMAO, we'll parents have to understand kids are just playing, me and my friends sometimes act gay, but we're really not, it's just for fun since you guys must be like best friends or something to make your mom think that.

#55 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:09pm by jchag

LOL
I laughed so hard at this one.

#56 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:19pm by stephxor

just go with it. then she won't be concerned about leaving you alone when you have girls over. if she's opposed to you being gay she might even try to get you laid by a girl.

#57 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:23pm by fretforyerlatte

Thats so funny. hahahhaa

#60 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:47pm by Freshman

I've had an almost similar situation twice.

I'm a secretive dude and I've always told my folks they'd never meet any of my girlfriends until I'm engaged (but I do have relationship issues - parent's divorce will do that to a hedonistic young man) or gonna be a dad. Understandable they both got curious and on two separate occassions both my parents asked me if I was gay. I bust out into 10minute bouts of laughter each time. I'm unashamedly hetro, and my sexuality being questioned just seemed absurd to me - but that's just me.

However, your 'friend' simply has a 'divine' sense of comedic timing!!

#61 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:49pm by Gadget3440

LMAO .. that's super funny :P sorrry

#62 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:51pm by sylvia

That's what she said.

#63 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:55pm by ManicGypsy

I just saw someone made a comment about rugby being gay?
Coed touch leagues, man.
The tagging area is from the waist to the knees.
Do with that what you will.

#65 - On 08/10/2009 at 1:57pm by livingdeath

Did he slap your butt when you got out of the car?

#66 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:01pm by thugbert

Just cause he has a pink bandana and is shirtless and said, "Man you hit me hard last night." doesn't mean he's gay of bandana and shirtless, and he is obviously meaning the child punched his friend a bit too hard last night. Now if this is reverse then I don't know what to say, but your mom is wierd for assuming things out of no where.

#67 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:18pm by Tchernov9

hey look at it this way you have options ^^ You can be gay and not worry or be straight or force yourself to be straight :o or maybe your mom was just messin around like your friend or you should lay off the beer XD (Bad joke i know)

#68 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:18pm by girlwhoactshigh

hey look at it this way you have options ^^ You can be gay and not worry or be straight or force yourself to be straight :o or maybe your mom was just messin around like your friend or you should lay off the beer XD (Bad joke i know) My bro did that to his freind XD I laughed hard

#69 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:22pm by girlwhoactshigh

Fag.

#70 - On 08/10/2009 at 2:41pm by Struedelmuffin

damn, if I didnt know any better i'd say every other guy

#72 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:03pm by justmyluck1212

You shouldn't have had gay sex with your friend then

#73 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:27pm by madglover

I bet you where thinking "man i hope you hit me harder tonight". At least you wont have to come out to your mom anymore since she knows you like cock

#76 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:39pm by donkey_hang_down

Uh sounds too convenient too be true, like something out of a sitcom

#78 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:44pm by sublime93

wow now i bet ull be called gay for the rest of ur life and wow just dont turn gay because of ur mom just dont lid=sten to her geez i hate parents like that sori man hope u have a better life still

#79 - On 08/10/2009 at 3:46pm by jhon316

I would have totally pulled off a "thats what she said"

#80 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:11pm by gaydolfclitler

oh goodness. that's hilarious. fyl indeed.

#81 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:15pm by drake_p

Lmao, honestly I would've laughed so hard if I was you after your friend said that :D

#82 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:19pm by MadeOfAwesome

lol this sounds like something my father and I do, he accuses me of heavy drug use, and I blatantly confess, then we both laugh and it makes everyone else around us uncomfortable...especially the random friends I have over when such conversations ensue :) do that with my brother too...

#84 - On 08/10/2009 at 4:32pm by rotf_coaster_9

I bet they both planned this.
xD

#87 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:08pm by manoverboard

Look at it this way, at least that didn't happen when you were being dropped off for wrestling practice. I'm sorry but any sport where you have to get into the doggy style sex position with another man is not gay, it's super gay.

#88 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:26pm by blueknight1st

maybe your friends gay...

#90 - On 08/10/2009 at 5:55pm by Theguybehindyou

Well... at the very least...
Your mother thinks you're on top? That's not ... so bad... I suppose... lol

Such bad timing indeed.

#94 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:06pm by DameGreyWulf

hhhahaha lmao thats funny! sux that ur mom thinks ur gay though

#95 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:19pm by mel322

Hmm maybe the football part gave it away... nah not really, but wow how awkward. Your mum shouldent have said that, if my mum did id b like 0_0 how could you think that, or even say that!? But LOL at your unknowing mate, that sounds so funny, but are you actually gay or not? If not then LOLOL if you are then... LOL :D

#96 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:21pm by Raheemdplayer

*however, even if he did mean what he said in a sexual innuendo way, I'm sure he woulden't have said it when your mum was there, that would have been wayy too creepy & risky.

#97 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:24pm by Raheemdplayer

No, people only do it when someone you know (but he/she doesn't know) is there. It makes it that much more embarrassing, which is the point.

#101 - On 08/10/2009 at 9:43pm by chanman

LOL sux to be you.

#98 - On 08/10/2009 at 8:47pm by laurenftw

Don't act like a fag.

#100 - On 08/10/2009 at 9:28pm by toosoonbreh

Lol FYL :D that was perfect timing for your friend to be gay

#102 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:09pm by Tiger_RaWr

wow i dont even know what to say to this

#103 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:18pm by shirvon100

haha this is cute. you, your friend and mom are all cute.

#104 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:19pm by she_bangs

aww! cute gay couple! YAOI!!! ahaha!
*yaoi=guyXguy*

#105 - On 08/10/2009 at 10:27pm by xSceneSceneBabyx

haha that's soo something i'd do if i were a dude,
and i'd see my friend with his mom
it would just be totally halarious :P

but it sucks for you though,
i bet your mom got her answer :/
loll

#106 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:19pm by jessikatattoo

You're definitely gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with it)

#107 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:23pm by wazdog

I laughed really hard at this XD
although I interpreted your friend more as saying you physically hit him too hard when playing
not in the other way LMAO
but if that's what he was implying he's friggin hilarious

ps: i second what someone else said "pix please" ;D

#109 - On 08/10/2009 at 11:51pm by magneticcheese

Wow, the same thing happened to me. I was on my way to wrestling practice and my friend greets me in just compression shorts.

#110 - On 08/11/2009 at 12:09am by tanman0401

The way you described your friend made me think of Mario Lopez. Yummy all sweaty with no shirt and ripped muscles in a pink bandana, talking about "hitting".

If you aren't gay, my fantasy might just turn you.

#112 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:19am by Calaura9

rofl #28 FTW!

#113 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:21am by grrbabyverygrr

You should have played her.....when your friend said that, you could have replied - "Hey, Mom -- you've met _______; he's my favorite tight end on the team!"

#114 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:39am by doof_fisch

I think mom is right. Sounds like you two have the queer-factor going.

#115 - On 08/11/2009 at 1:59am by athos1237

So....are you?

#116 - On 08/11/2009 at 2:05am by cloudkittycat

this is the only one that ive laughed out loud at ........ but it really all depends on if he was gay or not :D

#117 - On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am by omigawdd

Ah the paranoia of a mother about her son being gay. I remember a little while ago my mom flipped out at me for calling my little brother gay. She thought that calling him it would somehow cause him to be gay lol. I'm sorry for you to be on the recieving end of that. FYL

#118 - On 08/11/2009 at 3:22am by HAVOK14

PINK BANDANAS R NOT GAY U BIATCH

#119 - On 08/11/2009 at 8:04am by Funky_T

Homophobia sucks, but that is pretty hilarious.

#122 - On 08/11/2009 at 3:38pm by InspiredByGaGa

YDI it's obvious when your gay and when your not. So if she has some doubt that your gay, your gay. So YDI for not being honest.

#123 - On 08/11/2009 at 3:52pm by iheyman

How is it obvious when someone's gay? Unless they explicitly say they like other men, I can't tell a gay guy from a straight guy unless he's deliberately going out of his way to make it obvious.

#132 - On 08/13/2009 at 7:30am by AXavierB

EPIC!!!! awesome!

#124 - On 08/11/2009 at 4:00pm by bigbadnews122

dude, mother knows best. plus, remember the saying...someone calls u horse, you walk away. they call u a horse again u punch them in the nose, they call u a horse a 3rd time, well, start looking for a saddle. but in ur case, by saddle, i mean condom...get to it butt pirate

#125 - On 08/11/2009 at 6:01pm by unhacked21

LMAO!! Your mom needs to just realize that all high school boys are gay, even when they're not. EVERY high school boy acts a little gay with their friends. Eff your mom for being so uptight and homophobic.

#127 - On 08/11/2009 at 8:44pm by yowzerz

ha ha that is fucking halarious

#128 - On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm by hockeyfan147

Wow, that's just... it sucks, but it's too fucking funny, sorry.

#129 - On 08/12/2009 at 4:11am by Ashayu

LMFAO oh wow

#130 - On 08/12/2009 at 7:11pm by chicadominicana

HAHAHAHAHA

#131 - On 08/12/2009 at 8:26pm by tatu4life

Lmao, I love this one

#133 - On 08/13/2009 at 3:21pm by crank_it

wahahaha

#135 - On 08/14/2009 at 9:07am by Zic

Ahhahahahaha that's hilarious! You're best mate sounds like a funny guy XD

#136 - On 08/14/2009 at 10:55pm by Foxy_lover

Hahahaa

#137 - On 08/18/2009 at 4:14pm by Poisonphaerie

HAAAAH, that's hillarious.

#138 - On 08/20/2009 at 12:30pm by roosseeee

If you can't laugh at the irony in that, I don't know what to say to you.

#139 - On 08/25/2009 at 1:12am by Kofu

DEFINITELY one of my favourites on here! LMAO!

#140 - On 08/25/2009 at 11:15am by LocoChaz006

IS YOU A GAY?

#141 - On 08/31/2009 at 11:58am by Brak_Spaceman

HAahaa!! Aww, man that sux! R u gay, that'd be hot!!

#142 - On 09/01/2009 at 11:47am by BloodyPoisonKiss

hah, agreed. =]

#146 - On 12/06/2009 at 3:43pm by kris_is_high

omg That's hilarious! I'm afraid you'll be seeing a lot of awkward times ahead ...

#144 - On 10/10/2009 at 6:48pm by Fentown

loll. I feel sort of bad for you, but that was still pretty funny. How did your mom react?

#145 - On 12/06/2009 at 3:40pm by kris_is_high

I think parents have a right to grandchildren after all who brought u into this world

#147 - On 01/01/2010 at 4:16pm by jpest17

hahahahahahaha LOL

#148 - On 02/02/2010 at 7:22pm by virusin

win

#150 - On 02/21/2010 at 11:10pm by erick1105692

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