Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you totally deserved it (2434)
On 06/29/2009 at 3:55pm - misc - by thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada (Alberta)
ouch! your ex seems like the jealous type.
oh and i know im gonna get killed, but 1st!
#1 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:04pm by freedoggy77
Congratulations that you are first, and oops that you are buried. But, to guys who hate people mentioning their better positions in the line of FML commentators (like 1st, 2nd, and so forth): Why not allow FML users have this kind of harmless fun of competitions AS LONG AS they do comment on FMLs? I think it is incredibly cute--juvenile but still cute.
#57 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:32pm by sillypuppy
I know seriously, the people that get pissed at people for mentioning their positions are the ones who have no lives. They are getting pissed off at nothing which shows that they have nothing in their lives to feel emotion for. Why do you even care? It has nothing to do with you.
#89 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:35pm by Pandaxpress650
There is no need to say first, because they have that handy little #1 right there for you already.
#130 - On 06/30/2009 at 1:08am by I_am_stupid_also
Hey dumbass, you might want to look at the guy's user name (thatCanadianguy7) and his location (Alberta, Canada)
Good job and being an intolerant dildo, though, nice representative of your country.
#140 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:09am by waxstigmata
I mean, other than the fact that this guy is Canadian and there's no substance to your xenophobic comment, that's pretty sharp.
#143 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:32am by wafflemonger
"the people that get pissed at people for mentioning their positions are the ones who have no lives"
That might be the single dumbest, most nonsensical sentence I've ever read in my life.
The ones who get excited that they're first are the ones with no lives.
to #128: pussy americans? where the fuck are you from? lemme guess, some real pussy country like north korea?(sorry to all the other communists out there)go screw urself or america will blow ur ass of.
To 128: I believe they can also turn their whole country against you, invade your country and then bomb the fucking fuck out of it. Just saying, is all.
If you don't teach the guy a lesson, he'll continue to beat up people who did nothing wrong. I'd rather make that guy spend some time in jail than get a couple thousand dollars from him.
#6 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:09pm by someguy945
Yeah, he isn;t physically capable so he'll use his brain and sue (or should i say a lawyer's brain :p )
Say what? It's called "assault and battery". This is a CRIME. A SERIOUS crime. It is his duty to report it to the police, and the criminal in question should go to jail. It's nothing about "taking care of yourself", it's about obeying the law and punishing people who commit physical crimes against others.
#52 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:20pm by therealmike
You really don't need the dynamic duo of a martial arts expert and his psychotic sister running around beating hell out of people they're irked by. Too many crazies in the world as it is. Really, press charges.
youre a dumbfuck, i hate the sue-crazy culture of today but this is definately one of the few times its not only acceptable but required.
#97 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:56pm by organisedchaos
Because not being able to beat up a martial arts expert means you deserve to get beaten up? So therefore, everyone should become pros at self defense and how to beat the crap out of people. Because if I'm an expert at it, then I have the right to beat up whoever I want whenever I want because it's THEIR fault for not being able to
#162 - On 06/30/2009 at 10:25am by heyyou1203
Because he's a martial arts expert his penalty will likely be much higher than if he had no training at all, also he'll probably have to pay restitution to you.
He broke the law, he deserves to suffer the consequences.
Sue, you could get some money for this, always good.
#5 it's his ex who can't take care of herself isn't it. Just because he didn't hit her brother back doesn't mean he can't take care of it.
Either he fights back and both get in trouble, or he sues and gets money, so his bitchy ex gets in trouble.
I don't see why he wouldn't choose the money.
And don't give me that "But I want to save everyone else" bullshit, they can sue too. Awesome!
#7 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:10pm by TysonFawlay
If an ex-girlfriend's brother came after me, I'd kick his ass. I wouldn't press charges after the cops showed up, I'd just let him suffer that embarrassment. That would be taking care of it yourself. If its self-defense, and you're not a pussy, you can finish it yourself. Are there any real men around who can still handle there own business?
It's too late for him to fight back now though. If he does, then he would probably be charged by the other dude.
#13 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:21pm by ReverandDamned
Real men? Are you looking to date or just a one night stand? ^^
Seriously though, from a legal stand, he had to have fought back during the first confrontation. If you go and pick a fight with him now it's no longer considered self defense. If anything, the ex's brother could literally kill the OP in "self defense" should the OP go start something up now.
And besides, hughman, you speak like a bully. There's always going to be someone bigger, stronger, and faster than you. I somehow doubt you've ever fought anyone that was bigger than you. Ever. How you talk about leaving people to their "embarassment" and not squeeling to the cops... yeah, you're a bully and i hope you get yours one day. =)
Back on topic though, who knows... maybe the OP's a dick. Most people don't just go beat up on their ex's unless it was something serious. For all we know, the OP could've been cheating, took his ex's virginity and ran, or whatever.
#20 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:28pm by TuxedoBento
hughman did you not read the part about the guy being an MMA fighter? If you're not trained in such skills chances are you won't stand a chance against that type of person. Case in point. Kimbo Slice, big ass mf'r that could take any normal street brawler. He stepped in the octagon struggled to win his first fight then got pwnd when he went up against actual talent. If you can take an MMA fighter without any prior training on your part then kudos to you, otherwise stop displaying your dick on a 52" TV. Everybody's dick looks big on a 52" TV. Real men also know that you can't beat everybody's ass, nor do they write checks their asses can't cash. You put up ya dukes, give a good show, and if you lose you just lose. You take the asswhooping like a man and keep it moving.
#40 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:51pm by razzumfrazzum
After reading a couple posts under mine I see that you are willing to take an asswhooping like a man :D
I'm not a fair fighter (as if their were such a thing in fights anyway), if that bastard came at me I'm picking up the nearest object and swinging for the fences. If there's no object, he better be prepared to lose an eye or a digit. I call it leveling the playing field. He might kick my ass but I'm leaving a mark dammit lol
#45 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:04pm by razzumfrazzum
uh...youre a fucking moron. seriously. words do not describe how fucking stupid you are.
#98 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:59pm by organisedchaos
really? that just shows you have no self-control not that ur a man srsly the man thing to do is not fight back
#119 - On 06/30/2009 at 12:16am by slamdnkindrummer
Really? The man thing would be to sit back and not stand up for yourself? I suppose you feel its ok to let somebody beat the crap out of someone you care about to huh? Even if you are totally capable of defending them. Attacking someone in self-defense is a perfectly reasonable response. Its only unreasonable if you're trying to make a point via peaceful protest or something along those lines. The next time someone starts attacking you for no reason be sure to curl up in the fetal position nice and tight ok. If I go down, I go down swinging.
#125 - On 06/30/2009 at 12:40am by razzumfrazzum
I agree with #10 and on his behalf; I've fought someone who weighed 30kg more than me and won (Me-65kg)(Him-95kg)... I do MMA; he was an ignorant boxer who forgot a knee to the head can lead to K.O. If any of my ex'es brother's came to fight me which they wouldn't because i'm friends with all of them and have treated all their sisters with respect and haven't abused them in any way, shape or form i'm pretty sure i'd manage to handle myself to not get hurt; learning to defend yourself is pretty simple and you can probably be decent after a few months. Go for it; and don't let yourself get pounded on again. On another note; here in the UK prisons are overcrowded as it is... I couldn't care less about people that go around beating up their sister's ex's as much as the rapists that are allowed to roam free because of "overcrowding" in prisons.
Tbh i reckon for this guy to get beaten up by his ex's brother 6 months after the relationship ended i agree with the response saying the OP may have been a real prick and took her virginity and ran or something along those lines.
FYL if you weren't a prick.
Ok, for all you sue happy folks. It wouldn't be as great as you think. The OP would be rewarded a restraining order against the older brother, and possibly the sister. Any medical bills will be paid for. The brother might get community service; I very seriously doubt he would get more than a weekend in jail, if any time at all.
THAT'S IT. The OP wouldn't get rich; hell, he probably wouldn't get any money. He would get an ass-whooping, an all-expenses paid trip to the ER, and a promise from a nice 50 year old woman that the big mean brother will not come within 200 feet of him again. Oh, and don't forget the loss of self-respect and a lifetime depending on others to fix things when it doesn't go his way.
What's the problem? I'd say getting physically assaulted is the definition of "things not going your way."
Since you seem to be a retard, let me carefully explain this to you.
If he asked for ketchup at a McDonald's drive through and got mustard instead, that would be an example of something that's not worth suing for.
Getting physically assaulted is something that's worth suing for.
I don't see that I personally attacked you with any name-calling. I am, in fact, not retarded. Libel is against the law; should I sue?
Wow, you're an arrogant little piece o' work, aren't you? What iif you happen to have an ex who had/has a brother in the UFC? I almost wish I could see you get your ass beat that hard just to see you (whether by choice or otherwise) shove not only your foot, but every other limb you have in your mouth.
Sucks for original poster. And can't he sue AND get him in jail? I'd think that'd be pretty easy
@#10 Apparently her brother is a 'real man' by that definition. His violent abuse was unfounded and unfair. Actual real men use their brains like evolved beings. We can console this dude and tell him he's better off without that crazy ass of an ex, and he should be glad he'll never be brother-in-law to someone as stupid as her brother. He got beat up which sucks badly but becoming violent himself won't fix things. He can move on and strive to be happy, content with the knowledge that he's smarter than that. A good woman appreciates intelligence. And all that physical energy is better off spent in bed.
#17 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:25pm by p00p0ster0us
#17 you're a dumbass. alll men with balls still attached are going to beat the shit out of someone before peer mediation or some other shit
Because rape is the real answer, also that was four words. Rape isn't revenge, revenge would be calling the cops on an unprovoked attack.
#24 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:34pm by Check_Mate
#19: what the hell is your problem? rape? seriously?
op: sucks. call/im your ex and either bitch her out, or embarrass her by making it seem like she's totally still into you, while you've moved on and stuff. psychological warfare always works better than violence. and it mark that lasts longer than a bruise.
how is date raping your ex going to erase the fact that her brother kicked your ass? date rape does NOT solve everything.
#152 - On 06/30/2009 at 4:28am by steph_darling
calling the cops on someone isnt revenge, that's just plain pussying out. i would have stabbed his ass if he attacked me like that. right in the fucking neck
#196 - On 07/03/2009 at 10:47am by aaaaa12345
Go over to her house and beat her ass.
Put that bitch in her place.
#26 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:35pm by MeganH0LLYW00D
They broke up.... hence he can date someone else.
She may have been upset but no need to beat him up for that,
he wasnt cheating so why does it matter?
#29 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:44pm by Entity4Infinity
wow seriously.... stfu, women do not get raped at least 3x, I sure as hell know that I'm not going to get raped even once.. if some ass tried to rape me I'd beat the shit out of him.
#33 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:47pm by dinosaursgorawr
#27, good try, but you need to be more subtle if you want to troll.
#34 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:47pm by ReverandDamned
"each woman gets raped 3x in her lifetime at least"
...what? Do you realize how little sense that makes?
#38 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:49pm by Lonely_Lez
"dinosaursgorawr" Uhm, Yeah sure. You could beat his ass. Then he slits your throat and rapes your dead body.
Good luck with that though.
#43 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:59pm by MeganH0LLYW00D
Sup jandersoniii we missed ya lol Long Live the Troll!!!
#46 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:06pm by razzumfrazzum
if women are always right then there fucking idiots. they broke up 6 months ago, and he can date someone else dumbfuck!
You are fucking ridiculous. How does him having a new girlfriend, when they broke up already, make him a sexist pig? Please release the massive amount of sand lodged in your vagina.
#58 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:32pm by Megasadface
We get it, you are a fat bitch that ways more then an average truck. Could you please stop coming to this website just to make your idiotic comments?
omygosh are you serious??
first -learn how to spell woman
second -you emo freak!
i am a female and do not face suffering every day lol
not even every week...or month...or year....
third - where the hell did you get that statistic???
3x?? really?? no. just no.
fourth - I FUCKING HATE FEMINIST!
equality i get (so if you are a feminist who truly believes that im sorry and im not talking to you)
but its when you try to make youself better then men??
it defeats everything about being equal.
#183 - On 06/30/2009 at 8:51pm by shudder_glasses
#27...honestly??...ur fukin insane..ur never gonna get laid and ur gonna be that mean creepy old lady that has like 30 cats in her house haha
#187 - On 07/01/2009 at 1:53am by dirtyhippy
Talk to the ex and explain you are not dating any more so you are free to date who you like.
#28 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:42pm by Entity4Infinity
@#26 LMFAOooo nice. she deserves it anyways... she shouldn't leave her stupid brother to her business.
#31 - On 06/29/2009 at 8:45pm by dinosaursgorawr
In all honesty I think YDI... If your ex's brother had no reason to think you had broken up and found you with somebody else... Example: you broke up but still "have benefits" then you still have no right to be with somebody else... Douchebag.
Hey! Let's stretch circumstances past any reasonable belief just so you can call him a douchebag!
Oh wait, no. That doesn't work. That just makes YOU the douchebag, #44. Jackass.
Some people DO just look for a fight. Just like some people (yourself) ignore all reason.
You'd think after six months, her brother would know they were broken up already. And I don't know about you, but I'd beat the shit out of some guy my sister had 'benefits' with just for that reason, I don't think any brother wants his sister to be friends with benefits with any guy. So no, I think you're the douche. But that's just my opinion.
#68 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:43pm by Megasadface
You guys are the one jumping to conclusions. Have you failed to take into consideration that when he broke up with her it ended? Not becoming a friend with benefits.
How could you do that to her? Don't you know that you're supposed to wait AT LEAST 7 months before moving on? Geez.
;)
But seriously, that sucks... your ex has some serious problems with letting go.
#50 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:13pm by undercover_ninja
its called get a lawyer and sue. That's what lawyers are for.
#54 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:29pm by pogoman555
lol i'd call the police and report him for assult and battery....you could get some $$ from these bitches.
#56 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:31pm by Volcomliberation
The only good reason someone could give that u deserved it is by saying that ydi for making out in public FYL
Your ex girlfriend and her brother DO know that you guys are broken up, right??
#62 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:41pm by Avenging_Angel
It would be best to get the police involved. I have been doing martial arts for a long time and have a black belt. This guy needs to learn the lesson of just because he knows how to beat someone up that does not make it acceptable to actually go out and do it.
Two options sue or beat the crap out of him. I'm assuming the latter is nigh impossible without fighting dirty (the only way to fight imo) Both hurt but one hurts worse. Usually the one that involves green. If you're really slick you'd get someone else to beat his ass sue the brother and split the money with the person you got to beat his ass.
was the brother aware of that? or did he still go by the traditional thing where u have to give the ex 3 years to decide if they wanna stay broken up
#72 yea 6 months, thats real fucking soon you dumb fuck! thats sarcasm in case your to retarded to figure that out. and if you dont no wat sarcasm is, go kill urself
Your attempt at thinking that using the word fuck is a good insult makes me laugh. If you're going to call anyone retarded, at least learn how to press all the proper keys on the keyboard so you can make full words, not just 3/4 of a word or the wrong word completely.
#123 - On 06/30/2009 at 12:31am by fuckyourdogslife
just sue him. then you'll get your revenge...and most importantly...MONEY!!!
#75 - On 06/29/2009 at 9:56pm by JoshuaJosh
fight back u pussy suing is like gay get in the gym and work then kick hiss ass xD
#79 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:05pm by shotcaller12
suing is for smart ppl and doin that is for fucking retarded jocks who are just morons and cant screw in a lightbulb. and no smart ppl do go to the gym and bulk up and crap. your just a fucking idiot
"your just a fucking idiot"
Before calling someone out on their intelligence, you should make sure you use the correct form of "your."
That being said, OP's life sucks, but should learn how to defend himself.
#86 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:29pm by spacebeans
If you can't handle an MMA fighter then you must be paralyzed. They are such tools. Mixed Martial Arts fighters don't have a balanced fighting style and it sucks in the aspect of defense. Next time just scream in a feral manner and charge him with primal fury. I bet you he'll pit his shants when he realizes that not everybody hisses when they throw punches.
#83 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:18pm by SexyMcBeast
lol, you ever watch that show where grown up guys that were bullied in school can go on tv and look up their high school bullies? The tv crew then pays the bully to fight a Proffesional MMA fighter in a ring and its fuckin hilarious. Usually the MMA fighter wins but every once in a while the bully beats the shit out of the fighter, i love it. Oh and i used to be that kid that would charge screaming bloody hell like i just got out of the insane asylum. Then i combined that with Mixed Martial Arts and then joined the Marine Corps. Deadly Combination
#90 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:37pm by MattEatUalive09
Get a gun and shoot him, that'll show him BWAHHAHAHA
#88 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:32pm by MattEatUalive09
AGREED..
Nobody has to know.
We didn't have this conversation...
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Just my evil laugh.. I know. Its amazing) =]
#91 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:37pm by Pandaxpress650
#88, I logged in to recommend just that. Buy something sweet with 45 cal hollowpoints and shoot him in both the knees. Don't forget to lure him into a dark alley and wear a mask while you're at it. Good luck.
#95 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:53pm by andreophile
You have a crazy ex obviously. Sue them you get money they get in trouble and can't do anything about you making out with another girl.
#96 - On 06/29/2009 at 10:56pm by hotstuff81
There are many possible solutions, however in order to maintain your dignity follow this advice. Get 3 or 4 of your strong friends, find that dude, and give him a lesson in manners.
wow... the way you said that is respectable and agreeable. not like others who are like "lawyrz r 4 pssis. bet teh sht ot of hi!" but nah, that gets you into more trouble. lawyers. sue him. best way, gets you money and pwns the shit out of em
I dont know who is more retarded ... the ex who couldnt realize that the relationship was over or her older brother who couldnt realize that he has nothing to do with any of this
#104 - On 06/29/2009 at 11:23pm by sjbartholome
I hope you're okay. >___< But I really think you should sue, it's not acceptable that you're being attacked for no apparent reason.
(I'm assuming that you and that ex no longer talk, and have had nothing to do with each other since you broke up..)
To everyone saying he is a pussy or whatever for not kicking the dude's ass, the OP got beat up BY the martial arts expert. OP is NOT THE MARTIAL ARTS EXPERT!! Learn to read assholes!!
Ouch. If I were you, I'd seriously consider barricading your house just in case she stalks you.
#107 - On 06/29/2009 at 11:33pm by ForceStrike64
Seems like this older brother is a bit behind the times, eh?
#110 - On 06/29/2009 at 11:49pm by XXMeowmeowmeowXX
Sounds like you should put a hit on him.
Lmao, just kidding. Don't get any ideas.
#111 - On 06/29/2009 at 11:51pm by katelynmarie
This ticks me off. Martial arts are about self-defense, it's completely wrong to attack someone with that knowledge. Her brother should be brain washed into forgetting his martial arts knowledge. Jk, but that's seriously F-ed up.
hahahah!
I can imagine being in the sisters position.
my older brother does martial arts...
and he did knock out my bf from 6 months ago..
ohhh shi--
too bad i dont live in alberta.
This great for you, you know. Him being a martial artist. If you wanted to sue it wouldn't be just for Assault. When you have martial arts training up to a certain degree, you have to sign a contract saying that you will only use your physical force as a last defense. Otherwise you can be legally sued for not just Assault but Assault with a Deadly Weapon. (The Deadly Weapon being your body) And as cool as that may sound, it's also a very serious thing. My friend is a Kick-boxer, and she's only 16, however she had to sign that contract- which means although she has a Killer attitude, she cannot legally lay a hand on any of the students in our school, no matter what they say.
#126 - On 06/30/2009 at 12:41am by nightDREAMERms
Woot! Woot! Go Jandersoniii!!! I'm a male by the way and I'm empowering you by cheering you on. Bwahahahaha >:D
#135 - On 06/30/2009 at 1:42am by razzumfrazzum
FYL..
Who does that?
Obviously him.. beside the point.
Shouldnt he know by now?
#139 - On 06/30/2009 at 1:57am by gorguz14evar
Oh wow, your ex is a hypocrite. If you 2 broke up, then why is she getting her brother to beat you up for making out with another girl? Someone has some relationship issues. You need to report her brother to the police. Violence solves NOTHING.
#144 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:38am by baby_girl_1994
First I thought you were making out with some girl while you and your ex was still seeing eachother. Then I realized what was going on through the comments. And now I agree with everybody: Call the cops, and lawyers, and sue his ass off!!!!
#145 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:41am by junomcguff
You cheated .
Get over it.
But I also feel sorry for you.
#147 - On 06/30/2009 at 2:53am by lovelykendra5
Call the police, have the brother thrown in jail, then send your ex a nice text message containing the word "haha" about 400 times.
Maybe the girl really liked you or was attached. Some girls are different than others, maybe you were dating one that loved you so much that she just couldn't stand the fact that you were kissing someone else.
:[
If the guy is qualified in martial arts and attacked you for this reason you could very easily get him sent to jail for assault. If he had killed you then he would have been put away for life. That would have really shown that bitch ex of yours!
But since you decided to live either sue or get him put in jail for a while. And while your at the courthouse think about getting a restraining order out against your crazy ex.
well he did take offence #1 and #2 find his instructor (his mma instructor btw) they would sort things out, if you are badly injured he would be kicked out his possition would be taken away and if you were cut badlyy brused ect he could yes again be sued and im not amarican im south african, what are you supose to do to him, call the mafia...
#156 - On 06/30/2009 at 6:41am by sux_too_beh_mehz
Congrats dude, you have finally relised you went out with a phsyco, who just happens to be tight with her family. Better luck in the future.
#158 - On 06/30/2009 at 7:43am by bettyboop274
only sue if you had to go to the hospital. otherwise, go learn to wrestle at your school and beat the shit outta him.
#161 - On 06/30/2009 at 9:23am by ccreel6800
have an 80's movie training montage then go beat him up
#169 - On 06/30/2009 at 1:02pm by PrayerPolice
I've always wondered what runs through the heads of idiots that put YDI on posts like this.
#168 - On 06/30/2009 at 12:37pm by bipolaradhdfml
You can press charges of assault. Also, that was weird. Why would you beat up someone over an old relationship?
#171 - On 06/30/2009 at 3:06pm by GrapefruitZoe
And your response to getting beaten up is not to call the cops and issue a restraining order, but to post this as an FML?
Seriously...This isn't an FML... Your Ex-girlfriend's older brother isn't allowd to do that. Even if you had been cheating on your girlfriend, you should not have been beaten up for it...Call the cops.
#173 - On 06/30/2009 at 5:28pm by Kris2476
file assault charges. find out what school he teaches/attends and tell them what happened. find a lawyer and sue his ass
Fuck all that, you may not be able to beat some mma FAGGOT ass but you can probably pull a trigger. Do it.
ppl actually put that he deserved that??? wat did he do wrong, dump her crazy ass?? that sux dude
#186 - On 07/01/2009 at 1:45am by dirtyhippy
If he is a black belt, his body is considered a deadly weapon. Attacking you can get him in serious trouble. Report him to the police. It'll be hilarious.
#194 - On 07/01/2009 at 10:40pm by Cittenscollar
