Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML
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Top comments
username53001 7
The Cheerios sent a message back. It says oooooo.
DocBastard 40
Wow, who pissed in her Cheerios? What, too soon?
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Comments (45)
ryanthecheeseguy 18
*aliens guy* "mothers"
YoureABuzzkill 9
Stop it.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
My apologies, FML community. This was my first, first comment. *thumbs down own comment and cries silently in the corner*
Arrow44 10
Maybe it's time to just stop
Gingerette 8
But what if it our time to go? What then, I ask; what then, my friends?
emeraldisle 30
Cheerios make my mum angry too. Must be a UK thing.
melons 44
But you're not from the UK...
Shrike 24
Edit.
ManInTheMachine 20
Northern Ireland is apart of the United Kingdom.
emeraldisle 30
I'm from Dublin Ireland, so yes I am.
Shrike 24
Dublin is in the Republic of Ireland, which isn't part of the UK. You're thinking of Northern Ireland. Way to know your own country's geography...
ManInTheMachine 20
Oh shit, didn't notice the Dublin portion. My mistake.
KatieMajestic 17
*facepalms at lack of geographical knowledge*
siggy_mcsigx 22
#2 Are you living in the 1800s right now
IMSUPEREPIC 5
Does it really ******* matter what part of Ireland or the UK or wherever the **** she is
username53001 7
The Cheerios sent a message back. It says oooooo.
Bano360 25
"Peter, those are Cheerios"
obnum 19
Just the thought of Cheerios makes me furious. Damn it. Look what you did OP. >:(
Gingerette 8
Seriously? Cheerios always calm he down. Guess I'm a black sheep.
IMSUPEREPIC 5
Hey color doesn't matter we are all horrible on the inside
SherlockWho 6
Better switch to Raisin Brand, OP.
ManInTheMachine 20
Yeah, the lack of fibre in her diet is probably what's making her so grumpy. Constipation can be a bitch sometimes.
gc327072 31
BRAN FLAKES NEW BOLD TASTE BRAN FLAKES
Nyx_fml 23
You tripped over your own feet? Are you sure it wasn't the Cheerios that tripped you?
DocBastard 40
Wow, who pissed in her Cheerios? What, too soon?
Enslaved 38
Or Two spoons. (:
Sports_guy3 28
#11- nope.
Enslaved 38
Cheerios? Now "Coo-Coo for Coco Puffs" I can understand. "I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff, Milky, milky cocoa, Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight."
fmlreader123 5
Wtf did I just read.
olpally 33
A great song reference^^^ :)
_briianna 9
My Humps .. classic!
perdix 31
Their cheeriness can be irritating before your morning coffee.
dude1987 5
Tell her to switch to fiber one, it might help get that stick out of her ass.