Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML
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Top comments
abbyycarper 13
Well you at least got ham
Crazafon 19
She obviously isn't a baker, but she sure is baked!
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Comments (82)
abbyycarper 13
Well you at least got ham
LeafsGuy92 10
Exactly! Ham is much better than cake!!
PterodactylMan 23
Ham > Cake
Olympiakos10 15
The cake is a lie. The ham is the truth.
bingbongbingbong 11
Halal friendly cake
salazara 10
This fml is definitely made up!
assassinbanana0 20
THE CAKE IS A LIE
klovemachine 24
At least it wasn't a metric ****-load of ham B-)
EpicSquishii 21
108- I am so happy that you made that reference
LaLince 40
Granma hits again
whatcase 16
It definitely hit you badly.
\ 28
**THIS COMMENT WILL BE BURIED** I guess you could say... *puts on shades* Grandma went HAM. YEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!
domking1315 20
This thread is making me cry.
jman26 11
Yeah and grammar didn't do you any good #2
\ 28
Sorry, I couldn't help it. Please accept my earnest apology, to all of the FML community for my soulless attempt at delivering cheap, unbranded humor. I go hara-kiri now
hcollins1 18
51, if you hadn't put '**THIS COMMENT WILL BE BURIED**' then maybe you wouldn't have been thumbed down.
s13495 19
You could say his comment was *puts on shades* Buried Alive. YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA!
\ 28
I thought everyone hated Sunglasses jokes. They were all buried earlier
ElementaryEdGuy 18
She went ham, now send her ass home.
ComaWhiteLove 18
Hey #19- Nice profile pic, fucktard.
ciumegu 6
Make the best out of it. Cook and eat the ham like a cake, better for you anyway.
MichellinMan 20
Not sure how a bunch of raging 5 year olds are gonna make the best of no cake at a party and a hammered senior.
JE553 9
Kinda fitting that the hammered gma brought ham, perhaps she has a sick sense of humor
TheDrifter 24
She's just hamming it up. She's become a comedian in her retirement.
B5B0N35 18
In my opinion that sounds lile the best cake ever
webbface 25
Word! I'd chose ham over cake any day. Especially a ham with candles on it.
B5B0N35 18
True That!!
123man 11
At least you got something to pig out on.
Soniye 14
Bacon anyone ?
Crazafon 19
She obviously isn't a baker, but she sure is baked!
B5B0N35 18
I see what you did there
ClaytorNator 12
Do you know what "Baked" means? It's nothing to do with drunk... It's when you're high.
B5B0N35 18
Oh our mistake then
Koppol 15
Wow, grandma is crazy if she came drunk and baked.
Crazafon 19
Oh yea that's my bad I read the FML wrong. Grandma isn't baked.
Hajostek 12
'Murica!
iAlissa 34
No.
LissaMccracken 23
These comments irritate me greatly.
thewife5 19
What's the universal word for idiot? It's America.
shibeep 12
Yourrr HAMtastic!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
With all those extra "r's" I don't see why you can't afford an "e."
Zebediabolical 45
You have to buy vowels. Consonants are free with a spin.
Soloman212 28
Maybe, since they're also missing an apostrophe, they meant "Yourrr HAM[ is fan]tastic!" Or maybe they have an irrational fear of E's.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
44- Tht cld b prblm fr sm ppl :(
Catkam623 27
Hey a birthday ham is a long celebrated tradition by the baked ones.
kayteakay 26
I'm sorry your son didn't have the cake he expected.
Zaros_fml 24
I'm almost positive he will survive this grievous transgression against all that is good in the world. Protip: The cake was a lie.
kayteakay 26
Little kids get irrationally upset about things like this. Have you ever had to tell a little kid on his birthday that he doesn't have a cake? Meltdown.
agzz21 6
Actually little kids prefer cupcakes because they contain a free goodie on the frosting
hcollins1 18
If it really is that important and left the kid heartbroken, all OP had to do was run to the store real quick and buy a cake. It's not like they HAD to have grandma bake one. There's always next year as well! If grandma doesn't decide to get drunk then either..