Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (7257)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Top comments

Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a fuck me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress.

We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.

#1 - On 01/26/2011 at 3:59pm by chazzlerazzle

See in context

That's the BEST!! Good for you! Did you pick them up then slingshot them!? Congratulations on the weight loss. Woo-hoo!

#10 - On 01/26/2011 at 4:08pm by LMeltdown

See in context

Comments

Loading...

Comments

Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: