Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
I agree, your life sucks (63313) - you totally deserved it (1598)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
... nasty. nasty. nastyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. im not hungry anymore....fuck
#4 - On 04/17/2009 at 7:58pm by roll_fukng_tide
At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.
#5 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:00pm by designedlikedice
lol good protein!!!! tht is one gr88 thing to wake up too. .. .
#6 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:01pm by moosey1234
HAHA that sucks
but, actually, you eat random bugs in your sleep
thats pretty bad one leg got stuck tho =|
Having noticed your disturbing trend of waking up with roach parts on random parts of your body, (which you should probably see a psychiatrist for), I recomment you check your ass crack.
#11 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:08pm by Alex_DeLarge
LOL....
Haha nasty but oh well...most of the time we don't know
what enters our mouth in the middle of the night...
And im not just talking about bugs xD .
At least you weren't awake to taste it...i wouldn't even think
about it anymore lol...
i think girls would rather have a dick in their mouth than a roach. just sayin xD
#129 - On 03/01/2010 at 11:26pm by infamousd3ath
#11 XD
Anyways, who voted that she deserved it? After all, she had NO control over it. Heck, she even had an exterminator kill the roaches, so...
well why do you sleep with your mouth open?
its prone to happen.
like that spider thing...
which i still dont believe.
#21 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:23pm by threeOHthree
#11: I'm really confused.
Illllllllllllllll that is disgusting.
It makes me cringe and sick, sick sick!!!!!!
sucks to be you, but how could you deserve it?
#23 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:23pm by ohhhhshizzz
... I would of barfed all over then torn out my mouth. ._.
I am TERRIFIED of roaches.
UGH.
UGH.
...
UGH.
Ewwwwww. Gross. Roaches can cause asthma in kids and other health related problems.
My dorm at college had roaches. It was disgusting, I sprayed my room every week and moved off campus as soon as I could.
Hopefully the extermination worked for you. Good Luck!
#21, don't worry. The "eating spiders in your sleep" myth is just that--a myth. :) I was so relieved when I found that out, I have horrible arachnophobia.
#31 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:49pm by emmaleelee
LMAO ew
first off, is your exterminator peter north? because if he can come and take care of your roach problem, he must be busting some fat nuts.
second, i guess there's a connection between the exterminator coming and the roach in your mouth.
interesting.
i feel so bad for u but i think i would have thrown up and used mouth wash
#34 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:03pm by katherinebby17
"Today an exterminator came to the house I live in with my 8 million relatives. He killed them all! I was the only survivor. I found what I thought was a safe place to hide. Turns out it was a person's mouth. And she ate me. FML"
22 and 35 OMFG LMFAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#38 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:38pm by Emmett_Luver_101
ewww i will continue to be haunted by that story for the rest of the day
#39 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:50pm by ellebell
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
that one was featured the other day, you totally recycled it, you suck!!!!!!!!!!!
For you to have a roach problem means you treat your house like a shithole and live slovenly. You'll probably get roaches again. They're not like other infestations that occur simply because the creatures found suitable shelter.
#41 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:03pm by Nakedsquirrel
Really, the worst part of this is the fact that it was probly covered in pesticide. People do eat bugs while sleeping, many actually. Also you might want to avoid chocolate because it has bugs in it too, corn has quite a few in it too.
roaches are huge thats pretty bad... good thing you didnt choke it up or something... ughhh
#49 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:43pm by efmivida
35 hahhah! Props for u.
Can someone tell me what OP stand for? I know it means the person who typed the FML, but do the letters stand for something?
#51 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:54pm by Claire_bear
that is just disgusting.
that's gonna haunt me for a while..
#52 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:06pm by lol_everyday
#51, it stands for Original Poster. And #21, alot of people fall asleep with their mouths shut and open their mouths in the middle of the night. My dad snores and my mom says he opens his mouth which makes it louder, and drools everywhere. It's not really something you can control while you're sleeping.
And I've actually heard that the spider thing IS true, just, sometimes its not with spiders. It can happen with ants, flys, centipedes..ugh.
@51: OP is for Original Post / Original Poster
I'm pretty sure the spider thing is bullshit, there's not usually spiders crawling in my bed, and spiders don't like being eaten, so why the fuck would anyone think you eat spiders in your sleep?
Roaches are the same way. You probably just got part on your mouth by accident without realizing it, it's not very likely that you actually ate one or chewed on one.. you'd prolly know.
#54 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:17pm by tempaccount
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AH!
AHHHHH!!
That is one of my worst fears. Lol. Or having a roach leg stuck in my braces.
Oh man. . . .at least it's protein. . . right? Heh.
#60 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:44pm by acutedisaster
words can't describe how much i hope this is fake
*violently shudders*
#61 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:53pm by mrstanfords
thats reallyyy disgusting. EWWWWWWWWWW i wish i didnt read this
#62 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:02am by Closeeupp22
In some places people eat roaches, I suppose one of those places is now your bedroom.
#64 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:10am by skatingweasel
Yuck! That makes me want to puke! I feel your pain though. I just had pest control out to my house for the same problem. Those are some gross bugs!
#68 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am by sarahlynn2786
At least you didn't wake up while the roach was crawling down your throat.
...trying to find the silver lining here :D
ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucken barf!!!!!!!!!!
#72 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:20am by SarahBabyCakes05
the plus, don't they supply protein? ahaha the bad part, YOU SWALLOWED A ROACH. yk, theres a guy who lives off roaches. Yeah eats em up live every day. Platefuls. preetty nasty if you ask me..
#73 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:42am by hawaiianxpunchx3
Wow he must like you a lot. Cause on the grossness scale that'd be a 9.7
#76 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:03am by lowcapacityx
FYL, for sure
I was watching a documentary on the discovery channel about gnarliness such as this tale
said something like, 'the average person swallows 100 insects during sleep throughout a year'
really gnarly... so I guess you're not alone, well, its like seeing santa I guess
#77 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:26am by MachoLibRey
i agree with number nine. the humorous phrasing of the "what did i just swallow?" was classic. don't steal. oh well not trying to fuss over things.
that's absolutely disgusting.
my sister found an itty bitty ant in her rice. then my mom waved around that spoonful of rice and said, "there used to be ants in our food when we were little! they're full of protein!" and proceeded to swallow the whole spoonful just to prove that she could eat insects.
bleh.
#78 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:58am by indian_goddess
Now I can't sleep either.
You should see a doctor if you start to feel unwell.
#80 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:11am by missfinkelstein
Any person on the world eats about 9 spiders a year in their sleep. And thats just spiders, don't forget all other bugs that crawl around in any given house. It's just free proteïne.
Actually 41 if you live in an apartment building with dirty neighbors their roach problem becomes your roach problem. So it's not necessarily the OP who "live[s] slovenly."
You'd be surprised if you'd know what you eat while sleeping...bugs, spiders...
When I was eight, we had a little locust problem. I was sleeping when my parents were chasing a locust that came in our house. They chased it right into my room, it jumps on my mouth and I eat it while my parents are watching.
Just be glad you didn't wake up while it was still alive :)
lol at #4 I was going to have breakfast.
but I've changed my mind.
#91 - On 04/18/2009 at 9:26am by ilovefmlife
#8 Did all of the Google ads involve some kind of bug exterminators? Mine did... that's... kinda creepy.
No #93 that's actually normal Google ads behavior. This ad I saw was for a Papa Roach concert or tour or something and it was legit. Not a google ad.
lmao ewww :S :S that must suck! well they are not poisonous or something at least, it will be gone out of your system soon !
#101 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:45pm by Mr_Positive
Ew. I'd be puking all over the floor if I were you.
#102 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:11pm by nocturnal_crazy
6, your retareded, submitter, sorry about that one :/ just remember that at least your stomach acid can burn through anything, so he's well gone.
I would probably have a mental breakdown if this happened to me.
#107 - On 04/18/2009 at 8:09pm by HarborLights
pml at #8 halarious! (pml= pissed myself laughting) thats epic
#112 - On 04/19/2009 at 1:07pm by maniac1993
Hmm...they say that you swallow an average of 2 spiders a year..........maybe the same applies to roaches?
#113 - On 04/19/2009 at 4:58pm by ChelseaAnn08
AHAHAHAHAHA
The way you worded this made it all the more hilarious.
FYL.
#115 - On 04/19/2009 at 8:53pm by Talkative1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU WIN! YOUR LIFE IS FUCKED!
oh man, i can always count on fml to make my day seem not so bad
#116 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:09pm by dmsheldon87
dam dam dam..that sucks...but maybe u didn't eat the roach u don't know!..(I'm giving you hope!)
#119 - On 05/29/2009 at 3:52pm by PredyJessica
ROFL, This is a classic. OMFG! Who said you cant kill roaches?
#121 - On 07/20/2009 at 7:28am by buckweat420
Kills 99.99% of roaches. Apparently, you didn't have enough roaches for this to divide evenly, so you were stuck with the .01% being a roach leg.
#127 - On 02/16/2010 at 11:09pm by Nerrage
