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Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

#1056557 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (63313) - you totally deserved it (1598)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by wellesleybanana (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

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Anonymous's life also sucks

dumptaker also deserved it

Comments

This comment has been moderated.

#1 - On 04/17/2009 at 7:57pm by delighted

rofl, dam thats hilarious...but dont worry, itll be gone in a day or two ;)

#2 - On 04/17/2009 at 7:57pm by lost4nao

Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.

#3 - On 04/17/2009 at 7:58pm by Sonalis

... nasty. nasty. nastyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. im not hungry anymore....fuck

#4 - On 04/17/2009 at 7:58pm by roll_fukng_tide

At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.

#5 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:00pm by designedlikedice

lol good protein!!!! tht is one gr88 thing to wake up too. .. .

#6 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:01pm by moosey1234

ahahah He's trying to find the rest of his roach buddies!!

#7 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:03pm by jimmyweee

Hahaha there's a Papa Roach ad to the right of this site as I type this.

#8 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:03pm by Jaywin

WIN

#124 - On 01/31/2010 at 2:48am by blkwhtrbbt

Blatant rip-off of "What did I just swallow?"

#9 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:04pm by Occam

HAHA that sucks
but, actually, you eat random bugs in your sleep
thats pretty bad one leg got stuck tho =|

#10 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:05pm by Zebidiah

O.O

#128 - On 03/01/2010 at 11:23pm by infamousd3ath

Having noticed your disturbing trend of waking up with roach parts on random parts of your body, (which you should probably see a psychiatrist for), I recomment you check your ass crack.

#11 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:08pm by Alex_DeLarge

OMG YES. win.

#130 - On 03/14/2010 at 11:03am by loveyoy22

LOL....

Haha nasty but oh well...most of the time we don't know
what enters our mouth in the middle of the night...
And im not just talking about bugs xD .

At least you weren't awake to taste it...i wouldn't even think
about it anymore lol...

#12 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:09pm by endless63

OH GOD!

#13 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:10pm by lazyyygirl

It could be worst. It could be a live roach, lol

but still, ugh!

#14 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:11pm by BigLord

yes, what #5 said.

#15 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:12pm by lolololcheese

yuckk!!

#16 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:13pm by aishathebest94

just thank god it was not a penis. thats all i got to say

#17 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:13pm by tko

i think girls would rather have a dick in their mouth than a roach. just sayin xD

#129 - On 03/01/2010 at 11:26pm by infamousd3ath

frkikng gross!

#18 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:17pm by the_question_mar

#11 XD

Anyways, who voted that she deserved it? After all, she had NO control over it. Heck, she even had an exterminator kill the roaches, so...

#19 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:20pm by Icalasari

I agree with #19. Quit being ass holes.

#20 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:21pm by princessXOstupid

well why do you sleep with your mouth open?
its prone to happen.
like that spider thing...
which i still dont believe.

#21 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:23pm by threeOHthree

Can you feel it squirming in your belly?

#22 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:23pm by Seegtease

#11: I'm really confused.


Illllllllllllllll that is disgusting.
It makes me cringe and sick, sick sick!!!!!!


sucks to be you, but how could you deserve it?

#23 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:23pm by ohhhhshizzz

omg.ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

#24 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:36pm by heyhey1880

Oh god...!
I'm not sleepy any more...

#25 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:40pm by lalap

What #9 said. Originality fail.

#26 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:42pm by callargh

The roach is in your pants.

#27 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:43pm by Cyborg6060

... I would of barfed all over then torn out my mouth. ._.
I am TERRIFIED of roaches.
UGH.
UGH.


...
UGH.

#28 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:44pm by i_imagine

good protein

#29 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:47pm by philadelphianus

Ewwwwww. Gross. Roaches can cause asthma in kids and other health related problems.

My dorm at college had roaches. It was disgusting, I sprayed my room every week and moved off campus as soon as I could.

Hopefully the extermination worked for you. Good Luck!

#30 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:49pm by 56578

#21, don't worry. The "eating spiders in your sleep" myth is just that--a myth. :) I was so relieved when I found that out, I have horrible arachnophobia.

#31 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:49pm by emmaleelee

Ahhhhhhhh ewwwwwww!!

#32 - On 04/17/2009 at 8:55pm by cyxx

LMAO ew

first off, is your exterminator peter north? because if he can come and take care of your roach problem, he must be busting some fat nuts.

second, i guess there's a connection between the exterminator coming and the roach in your mouth.

interesting.

#33 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:00pm by mrcarmine

i feel so bad for u but i think i would have thrown up and used mouth wash

#34 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:03pm by katherinebby17

"Today an exterminator came to the house I live in with my 8 million relatives. He killed them all! I was the only survivor. I found what I thought was a safe place to hide. Turns out it was a person's mouth. And she ate me. FML"

#35 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:12pm by thugbert

WIN

#125 - On 01/31/2010 at 2:51am by blkwhtrbbt

Oh, God!
That's nasty! Sue him!

#36 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:18pm by losergirl

Then who was phone?

#37 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:34pm by imthejuggernautt

22 and 35 OMFG LMFAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#38 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:38pm by Emmett_Luver_101

ewww i will continue to be haunted by that story for the rest of the day

#39 - On 04/17/2009 at 9:50pm by ellebell

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

that one was featured the other day, you totally recycled it, you suck!!!!!!!!!!!

#40 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:02pm by 5bye7

For you to have a roach problem means you treat your house like a shithole and live slovenly. You'll probably get roaches again. They're not like other infestations that occur simply because the creatures found suitable shelter.

#41 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:03pm by Nakedsquirrel

thats disgusting! i dont know what i wouldve done.....

and #40, thats not even the same thing...

#42 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:04pm by FMLOVER_

Really, the worst part of this is the fact that it was probly covered in pesticide. People do eat bugs while sleeping, many actually. Also you might want to avoid chocolate because it has bugs in it too, corn has quite a few in it too.

#43 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:09pm by sinbadmac

haha, sick.

#44 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:31pm by babyyx

#35, lmao!

Gross, that made me cringe so bad.

#45 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm by nikki1001

HAHAHAHA...that is so gross...funny...but really really gross!!

#47 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:34pm by lolo527

roaches are huge thats pretty bad... good thing you didnt choke it up or something... ughhh

#49 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:43pm by efmivida

EWWWWWW! That is so gross!

#50 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:45pm by kellster

35 hahhah! Props for u.

Can someone tell me what OP stand for? I know it means the person who typed the FML, but do the letters stand for something?

#51 - On 04/17/2009 at 10:54pm by Claire_bear

original poster

#126 - On 01/31/2010 at 2:52am by blkwhtrbbt

that is just disgusting.
that's gonna haunt me for a while..

#52 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:06pm by lol_everyday

#51, it stands for Original Poster. And #21, alot of people fall asleep with their mouths shut and open their mouths in the middle of the night. My dad snores and my mom says he opens his mouth which makes it louder, and drools everywhere. It's not really something you can control while you're sleeping.

And I've actually heard that the spider thing IS true, just, sometimes its not with spiders. It can happen with ants, flys, centipedes..ugh.

#53 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:13pm by jennam

@51: OP is for Original Post / Original Poster

I'm pretty sure the spider thing is bullshit, there's not usually spiders crawling in my bed, and spiders don't like being eaten, so why the fuck would anyone think you eat spiders in your sleep?

Roaches are the same way. You probably just got part on your mouth by accident without realizing it, it's not very likely that you actually ate one or chewed on one.. you'd prolly know.

#54 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:17pm by tempaccount

ewwwww

#55 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:25pm by Abirys

Maybe the roach leg just fell off the ceiling? Just think of it that way. :D

#56 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:29pm by 000001

WTF EWWWW haha

#57 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:32pm by dearladydisdain

Gross, and # 39, Exactly.

#58 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:37pm by krankypoptart

come on roaches are a delicacy in many parts of the world

#59 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:42pm by Bob13

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AH!

AHHHHH!!

That is one of my worst fears. Lol. Or having a roach leg stuck in my braces.

Oh man. . . .at least it's protein. . . right? Heh.

#60 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:44pm by acutedisaster

words can't describe how much i hope this is fake
*violently shudders*

#61 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:53pm by mrstanfords

thats reallyyy disgusting. EWWWWWWWWWW i wish i didnt read this

#62 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:02am by Closeeupp22

Ew, damn, if that isn't a sign to start cleaning up the place, I don't know what is.

#63 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:08am by jdb2009

In some places people eat roaches, I suppose one of those places is now your bedroom.

#64 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:10am by skatingweasel

# 31 my sister had a friend who woke up one morning and regurgitated a spider.

#65 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:11am by crayons

Oh GOOD GOD. I'm really sorry to hear that.

#66 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:36am by Sakeyaki

omg...ewwwww!!!

#67 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:40am by melissa_10

Yuck! That makes me want to puke! I feel your pain though. I just had pest control out to my house for the same problem. Those are some gross bugs!

#68 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am by sarahlynn2786

At least you didn't wake up while the roach was crawling down your throat.

...trying to find the silver lining here :D

#69 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:55am by omglolydi

That's insanely gross omg. and #8 i love papa roach=D

#70 - On 04/18/2009 at 12:57am by lovexmusic

Eww dude, I was freakin eating!!!!

#71 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:05am by therocket

ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucken barf!!!!!!!!!!

#72 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:20am by SarahBabyCakes05

the plus, don't they supply protein? ahaha the bad part, YOU SWALLOWED A ROACH. yk, theres a guy who lives off roaches. Yeah eats em up live every day. Platefuls. preetty nasty if you ask me..

#73 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:42am by hawaiianxpunchx3

whats ftw

#74 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:50am by rocket9

*gag*

#75 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:55am by Lolrus

Wow he must like you a lot. Cause on the grossness scale that'd be a 9.7

#76 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:03am by lowcapacityx

FYL, for sure
I was watching a documentary on the discovery channel about gnarliness such as this tale
said something like, 'the average person swallows 100 insects during sleep throughout a year'
really gnarly... so I guess you're not alone, well, its like seeing santa I guess

#77 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:26am by MachoLibRey

i agree with number nine. the humorous phrasing of the "what did i just swallow?" was classic. don't steal. oh well not trying to fuss over things.
that's absolutely disgusting.
my sister found an itty bitty ant in her rice. then my mom waved around that spoonful of rice and said, "there used to be ants in our food when we were little! they're full of protein!" and proceeded to swallow the whole spoonful just to prove that she could eat insects.
bleh.

#78 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:58am by indian_goddess

Not that clever. Cause one before said "What did I swallow?" try again.

#79 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:09am by Kellayy

Now I can't sleep either.

You should see a doctor if you start to feel unwell.

#80 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:11am by missfinkelstein

people, you eat more bugs in your sleep than you would want to know.

#81 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:27am by nodbor

*scream*

#82 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:31am by RockieGirl

Any person on the world eats about 9 spiders a year in their sleep. And thats just spiders, don't forget all other bugs that crawl around in any given house. It's just free proteïne.

#83 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:47am by Tehalon

Poor u...but hey, atleast u got some protein!

#84 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:06am by hattar

That is seriously my worse nightmare!!!!!!

#85 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:22am by mushroomcloud

Actually 41 if you live in an apartment building with dirty neighbors their roach problem becomes your roach problem. So it's not necessarily the OP who "live[s] slovenly."

#86 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:40am by Sleepie

ick.

#87 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:45am by resawins

eeeewww i would die if that happened to me.. :(

#88 - On 04/18/2009 at 5:24am by donnatella

THAT IS DEFINETELY FMFL!!!

#89 - On 04/18/2009 at 5:33am by fatality2009

You'd be surprised if you'd know what you eat while sleeping...bugs, spiders...
When I was eight, we had a little locust problem. I was sleeping when my parents were chasing a locust that came in our house. They chased it right into my room, it jumps on my mouth and I eat it while my parents are watching.
Just be glad you didn't wake up while it was still alive :)

#90 - On 04/18/2009 at 8:14am by Subtext

lol at #4 I was going to have breakfast.

but I've changed my mind.

#91 - On 04/18/2009 at 9:26am by ilovefmlife

You eat roaches too? They're yummy.

#92 - On 04/18/2009 at 9:39am by DeeJayD

#8 Did all of the Google ads involve some kind of bug exterminators? Mine did... that's... kinda creepy.

#93 - On 04/18/2009 at 10:01am by MechaMew2

No #93 that's actually normal Google ads behavior. This ad I saw was for a Papa Roach concert or tour or something and it was legit. Not a google ad.

#94 - On 04/18/2009 at 10:51am by Jaywin

Perhaps you should invest in a pack of surgical masks?.......

#95 - On 04/18/2009 at 10:59am by babyjane

haha #8 me too

#96 - On 04/18/2009 at 11:26am by buhnaynay

sounds fake

#97 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:26pm by tibbler

BUT WHO WAS ROACH?!

#98 - On 04/18/2009 at 1:59pm by youre_gayyy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#99 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:12pm by ernaynay

MMM TASTY SNACK!!1

#100 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:24pm by Zpecial26

lmao ewww :S :S that must suck! well they are not poisonous or something at least, it will be gone out of your system soon !

#101 - On 04/18/2009 at 2:45pm by Mr_Positive

Ew. I'd be puking all over the floor if I were you.

#102 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:11pm by nocturnal_crazy

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

#103 - On 04/18/2009 at 3:16pm by balanceMMX

D:

#104 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:28pm by 3milyzabc

why would the roach crawl down your throat and leave its leg behind ?

#105 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:49pm by rc15

6, your retareded, submitter, sorry about that one :/ just remember that at least your stomach acid can burn through anything, so he's well gone.

#106 - On 04/18/2009 at 5:22pm by strike9

I would probably have a mental breakdown if this happened to me.

#107 - On 04/18/2009 at 8:09pm by HarborLights

Mmmm... protein.... ;)

#108 - On 04/18/2009 at 9:08pm by Ignominy

oh god that's nasty D:

#109 - On 04/18/2009 at 11:29pm by crystalc0la

nastyyy! ew ew ew ew ew ew!
bad mental picture... thats so gross!!
same here #39, same here.

#110 - On 04/19/2009 at 12:58am by lalosaa

Ew, that's disgusting. Roaches are so diseased.

#111 - On 04/19/2009 at 1:55am by pikachu_01

pml at #8 halarious! (pml= pissed myself laughting) thats epic

#112 - On 04/19/2009 at 1:07pm by maniac1993

Hmm...they say that you swallow an average of 2 spiders a year..........maybe the same applies to roaches?

#113 - On 04/19/2009 at 4:58pm by ChelseaAnn08

wow, that fucking sucks.

#114 - On 04/19/2009 at 7:49pm by lifezabytch

AHAHAHAHAHA
The way you worded this made it all the more hilarious.
FYL.

#115 - On 04/19/2009 at 8:53pm by Talkative1

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU WIN! YOUR LIFE IS FUCKED!

oh man, i can always count on fml to make my day seem not so bad

#116 - On 04/20/2009 at 1:09pm by dmsheldon87

That's hilarious.

#117 - On 04/22/2009 at 5:37pm by cinnamania

Oh man, foul. I'm sorry.

#118 - On 05/26/2009 at 2:14am by TastelessAli

dam dam dam..that sucks...but maybe u didn't eat the roach u don't know!..(I'm giving you hope!)

#119 - On 05/29/2009 at 3:52pm by PredyJessica

That totally suck.. Irony- Their is a pest control ad as I type this. Haha WIth a roach on it.

#120 - On 07/14/2009 at 3:46am by XxJaydaxX

ROFL, This is a classic. OMFG! Who said you cant kill roaches?

#121 - On 07/20/2009 at 7:28am by buckweat420

Up your bahooshkanana.

#122 - On 08/08/2009 at 5:25pm by iFruit

This was already an fml

#123 - On 10/23/2009 at 3:43pm by bosshaug

Kills 99.99% of roaches. Apparently, you didn't have enough roaches for this to divide evenly, so you were stuck with the .01% being a roach leg.

#127 - On 02/16/2010 at 11:09pm by Nerrage

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