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mariepastyglue

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mariepastyglue

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1345
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>baseballbv</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:52pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 6:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>dafuck_15</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:51pm<b>FMLMaximus</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:41am<b>ayungballer</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:04am<b>nyancait</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:29pm<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:45am<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:45am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:42am<b>vegemute</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:07am<b>ChiefRager</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:48am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:19am<b>xTrevor099</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 4:14pm<b>DjaySkar</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:23am<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:17pm<b>keaster93</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 2:55pm

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mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33492) - you deserved it (2593)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48660) - you deserved it (6363)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

#20891258
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (7808)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:34am - misc - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (39073)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44961) - you deserved it (5419)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (10988)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (67224)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41849) - you deserved it (5545)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

#20853995
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (4750)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm - work - by jeed(1) (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (3375)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75549) - you deserved it (4214)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

#20831150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (8308)

On 08/10/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by selfesteemloss (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



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