Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 August 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8044
  • Number of comments : 711
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About iAlissa : I'm friendly-ish.
Also, to those asking - yes, the puppy is mine. He's a 5 month old Miniature Pinscher and his name is Zeke.

iAlissa's page activity

Visits<b>anonymouse5000</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 1:55pm<b>shreddedbitch</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 12:12pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:33am<b>zjay</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 11:34pm<b>quats17</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 8:12pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 12:47pm<b>TiroC</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:01pm<b>1sickcivic</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Sleepwalking713</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:52pm<b>devsfunda</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:52pm<b>Frankie602</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:01pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 11:38am<b>Paris25</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:25am<b>pickle682</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:03am<b>cripcrip</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 6:48am<b>MathiBears</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:38am<b>KneelToMyPotato</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:29am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 12:52am

Fucked!<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 11:33am<b>quats17</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:12am<b>NYM88</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 3:51am<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 10:34am<b>ouimetnick</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:54am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 11:37pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:59am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:04am<b>Silentshdw13</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:08am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:52am<b>pratikp03</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:56am<b>marko1596</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 1:01am<b>sperregr</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:50pm<b>YouThatReadWrong</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:43pm<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:12pm<b>pantsman66</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:47am<b>thatguy240</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 4:18am<b>spidaman</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 1:05am

iAlissa's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of iAlissa's badges

iAlissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2629)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (5197)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41966) - you deserved it (8008)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (13899)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49093) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Lipetsk)

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46408) - you deserved it (5516)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44199) - you deserved it (3837)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54335) - you deserved it (5914)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49519) - you deserved it (15735)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22928) - you deserved it (86166)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55389) - you deserved it (6044)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51825) - you deserved it (17354)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42614) - you deserved it (5251)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: