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iAlissa

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iAlissa
  • Town/Country : Parker, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 903
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About iAlissa : Yes, I am a sarcastic asshat.

A friendly, sarcastic asshat.

iAlissa's last visitors

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iAlissa's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of iAlissa's badges

iAlissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48792) - you deserved it (3291)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (10365)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (2642)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42233) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64019) - you deserved it (5321)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45593) - you deserved it (3060)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (7491)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

#20640612
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43479) - you deserved it (3551)

On 05/04/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (7058)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (9218)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (4065)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17275) - you deserved it (32632)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (2071)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (9169)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (5330)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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