Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barlos88

Online | Search for a member

barlos88

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 March 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 518
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About barlos88 : Bartender, workout enthusiast, mellow Kauaian

barlos88's page activity

Visits<b>Love_L0ST</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:00am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Craven1987</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:11am<b>edmunson</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:46am<b>MissEris</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:26pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Tendou</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:54am<b>cheeeksss</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 7:13pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:43pm<b>beeyouteefull</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:30pm<b>InnocenceBlue</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:49am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:38am<b>marinkidink13</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:38pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:13pm<b>aprilnb1</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 1:24pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 10:24pm<b>haileybarry98</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 11:54am

Fucked!<b>taterrtots</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 8:46pm<b>jessie85678</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:24pm

barlos88's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barlos88's badges

barlos88's favorite FMLs

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17578) - you deserved it (1357)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (8539)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

#21458732
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (5275)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (2806)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (4838)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47579) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60613) - you deserved it (7152)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52949) - you deserved it (3046)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43355) - you deserved it (8947)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (2649)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (6395)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (3075)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52167) - you deserved it (15288)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12094) - you deserved it (44530)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: