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Offline (the 10/21/2016 at 6:01am)



  • Town/Country : San Diego, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 March 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 911
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About barlos88 : Bartender, workout enthusiast, mellow Kauaian

barlos88's page activity

Visits<b>BatmanUnderwear</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 5:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 12:40pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 3:34pm<b>varney_93</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 9:38am<b>DarthPlagueis</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 11:19pm<b>black_day</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 2:11pm<b>Snufkinn</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 4:26am<b>jasonswife423</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:38pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>bretzeller</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 4:45pm<b>sourires</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 5:46pm<b>moondoglou420</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:04am<b>danm19</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 10:23pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 6:10pm<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:39pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 8:10pm<b>Dictionaryspeaks</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 9:16am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:54pm<b>taterrtots</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 8:46pm<b>jessie85678</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 12:24pm

barlos88's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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barlos88's favorite FMLs

Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML

by toto13660 / 06/29/2016 at 4:10pm / Animals

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

by Why's it so cold in here? / 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm / United States / Health

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

by FaceTime issues / 04/06/2014 at 2:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

by Neutered / 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love