Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sappheyes

Search for a member

Sappheyes
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4107
  • Number of comments : 284
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Sappheyes : This is not the profile you are looking for.
ಠ_ಠ

Sappheyes's last visitors

FedergirlMornainikki991starilenaxeebReva750LaxBro19thebestintheworlbarnee26

Sappheyes's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sappheyes's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (58215)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55340) - you deserved it (3535)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55340) - you deserved it (3535)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

#3582507
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42579) - you deserved it (1478)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

#3363161
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61344) - you deserved it (6226)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

#3308515
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54169) - you deserved it (3086)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

#3168193
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60939) - you deserved it (2255)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (83805)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

#2881104
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26120) - you deserved it (49586)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

#797923
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (133710)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12968) - you deserved it (56912)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: