About Sappheyes : This is not the profile you are looking for.
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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (47315)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51884) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51884) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41853) - you deserved it (1418)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66963) - you deserved it (13946)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57031) - you deserved it (5149)
On 06/30/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51120) - you deserved it (2479)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58171) - you deserved it (2103)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178118) - you deserved it (25400)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (70126)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (48616)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. The girl I met last night came in and said "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9646) - you deserved it (119851)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Jamie (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199839) - you deserved it (58925)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12681) - you deserved it (56202)
On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (316866) - you deserved it (27886)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Friday 24 May 2013
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