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About Sappheyes : This is not the profile you are looking for.
ಠ_ಠ
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (5647)
Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6399) - you deserved it (49886)
On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something to her kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51052) - you deserved it (2752)
On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (6913)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27440) - you deserved it (1723)
On 02/18/2010 at 8:20am - love - by merse - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16871) - you deserved it (5702)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (2569)
On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12810) - you deserved it (21366)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13718) - you deserved it (1577)
On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (46583)
On 10/20/2009 at 2:51am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11536) - you deserved it (24252)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51895) - you deserved it (3372)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53440) - you deserved it (3399)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (44413)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
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