Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you totally deserved it (3650)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:06am - love - by tacoboy (man) - United States (New York)
wow....n did u think about asking her if she was with someone before you went out with her?
#42 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:12am by inconvienentgurl
Well, theoretically 'decent' girls let a guy know that they are seeing someone, and thus cannot go out with the guy in question.
#64 - On 08/21/2009 at 1:10pm by sexy_mamasita
Did she realise it was a date? I mean, when you take someone out to dinner....
#68 - On 08/21/2009 at 1:35pm by youaresofucked
Yeeeah. It seems like something that would have come up in the conversation at some point.
#75 - On 08/21/2009 at 2:21pm by Kimba_Sprite
wow.. you sound like an loser... You're in love with a girl for 8 years?
and you never even talked to her enough to find out that she had a bf?
You deserve it for being so pathetic.
I agree with 86 and 96. I mean, 8 years? Come on, get a move on!
Either A) Get some balls (confidence)! or
B) Stop living in the past!
#96 wins. I think what you meant to say is that you've been stalking her and having an imaginary relationship with her since you were 14.
#107 - On 08/22/2009 at 1:05pm by Pulcherrimus
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
you had a few drinks? as in alcoholic? and then you drove? YOU DESRVE IT FOR BEING SUCH AN INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE
There are also drinks that are non-alcoholic...don't be so ignorant.
OP, I don't think you deserved it. Being in a relationship she shouldn't meet another guy for dinner, a movie and drinks...because that's really like a date. Not what you should do when in a relationship...unless it's with your S/O.
You probably deserve better anyway...I mean what if she was dating you and suddenly started going on dates with other men...
#6 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:09am by Puolukka
You are very angry. And a few won't do much to impair you. TV lies.
#8 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:11am by solipsistic
LOL
You never know... he may have only had one or two spread over a couple hours and was fine to drive. I'd like to think the OP didn't get completely shitfaced during this big dream-date.
#15 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:18am by dirtyrubes
your a fucking cocksucking piece of cowshit I wish cancer upon you and your family.
#69 - On 08/21/2009 at 1:40pm by chupalabra
Dude, that's normal. Unless you both explicitly agree that you're in a committed monogamous relationship, you're both free agents. Go date other people.
#136 - On 03/12/2010 at 2:01am by a_borshunist
xhannifax, what country are you from because I believe it's only you Americans that drive just about EVERYWERE
#137 - On 03/17/2010 at 10:38pm by twinscrplayer6
Ouch . . . Really, you should've known something as big as that about her if you had feelings for her! Nevertheless, that's a big smack in the face for you - but lets face it, at 22, you're in the prime of your life, there are so many more fish in the see, and you're at the point in your life where you can get out and get to know some of them really well.
I have to agree with this.
I know it seems like this girl is the one girl for you, but it really sounds like this is just a crush. If this was your first date with her, you really really don't know her that well. Go out and date some broads. Give them a chance. You'll see they have qualities you've missed since you've been doting over this girl.
in essence, YDI.
I agreee with this. Also, I know you think it's cute and all to be vague probably but clarifying that something is in fact a date before you get your feelings up isn't out of place in this day and age.
#33 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:40am by coloredwax
Totally agree with you. It sounds like you're still stuck at 14 to me. I mean, it also sounds like you haven't even told this girl how you feel, which is a YDI in itself, but you don't know enough about her to know she has a BF? Major fail man.
#41 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:57am by genius_man16
Time to let that one go and find somebody who doesn't use people for free meals, entertainment and drinks.
I'm wondering if she really was dating.... seems like a good way to tell stalker material you arent interested.
You've known her for 8 years and nothing has happened? It's called the friend zone, moron. You should have moved on 7 years and 11 months ago. YDI for being such a clueless dufus.
#9 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:11am by joethebiden
Well . . . obviously wasn't a date. Does she KNOW you have feelings for her? If not, then you should tell her. Men need to man up and tell women how they feel. Particularly if you have liked her 8 years. But FML for a date gone bad. And don't drink and drive or YDI for getting your license suspended; getting into a wreck; killing somebody.
#10 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:11am by cassandrarose526
FYL because that was kind of bitchy...how could that not be a date?
Also, YDI because you've been after the same girl for 8 years without getting the hint. Move on.
#12 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:16am by amaranthphantom
YDI for not knowing she had a boyfriend after all this time.....and you just might not get her, I think you're in the friend zone! HAHA!
Did her boyfriend at least thank you for taking care of the expensive part of the evening, so he could just get down to business with her?
You're such a nice guy. Keep trying... and if she does this for the next ten dates you go on, THEN you should have a long conversation with her and explain your feelings and tell her how it makes you feel when you take her out on a date and then she spends the night with her boyfriend.
Jeeezus... get a hint and grow a pair. Girls don't care if you take them out or not. They only like romantic crap if they already want to sleep with you. And if they already want to sleep with you, there's no need for romantic crap (as her boyfriend can atest to).
Get with the program and you'll feel much better about yourself (i.e. no more FML's for you).
Please report to your local hospital for chemical castration. The gene pool would be much better off without you.
#105 - On 08/22/2009 at 10:09am by Tribulations
I do kind of agree with everyone about you not knowing that she had a boyfriend.
People like #1, PLEASE stop numbering your comments. Nobody gives a shit and this isn't Sesame Street.
#3, he probably drank responsibly. Who said shit about him being an alcoholic? Why are people so fucking stupid?
#19 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:26am by BioProject
Pisses me off that she agreed to the date if she has a boyfriend. What a whore. You deserve better.
#20 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:28am by nom_nom_nom
You wasted nine years of your love life. This stops TODAY, tacoboy!
#22 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:31am by iFruit
shoulda typed 9 so you could claim typo when you failed at math.
#27 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:34am by organisedchaos
whats with all the "omg how could she not know it was a date" idiots? im guessing some people have never had decent friendships with the opposite sex. apparently ive dated many of my close friends. damn.
unless you paid for her, then shes a bitch. she most likely assumes since youve known her for 8 yrs u know about her boyfriend, but to let you pay is just wrong. but since you never said you paid, i assume you probably didnt, and youre just shit at both communication and thinking outside the square...
#25 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:32am by organisedchaos
OMG! The strong implication from the OP was that he paid for everything: "I took her out to dinner, then to a movie..."
Yes, she knew it was a date and she knew she was getting laid afterward... just not by the same guy.
"apparently ive dated many of my close friends. damn."
are you a guy who pays for a your female friend when you're "hanging out"? if yes then she's using you
are you a female with male friends who pays for you when "hanging out"? if yes then you're an idiot for not noticing that that kind of gesture implicates that the guy "friend" is crushing on you. He's just stuck in the friends zone.
@29 ive taken my friends to dinner and a movie...and not paid for them. taking someone there implies you were the one who organised the event not you paid for it.
@40 are you an idiot?
"apparently ive dated many of my close friends. damn. unless you paid for her, then shes a bitch."
...im gonna let common sense sort that one out for you. if youre still struggling then let me know so i can have a good chuckle at your expense.
#100 - On 08/22/2009 at 12:31am by organisedchaos
that wouldve been so cute if it worked out.
but u should probably move on. i mean 8 years?
#34 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:43am by OMGitsKaleyxo
I'm gonna give you a little lesson I learned a few years ago, and its one I wish I learned a lot sooner. If you have been friends with a girl for 8 years it is way too late for anything to happen. If you have been friends with a girl for 8 months, it is way too late for anything to happen. If you have been friends with a girl for 8 weeks, it is way too late for anything to happen. If you have been friends with a girl for 8 days, it is too late for anything to happen. If you have been friends with a girl for 8 hours, it is too late for anything to happen. If you have been friends with a girl for 8 minutes, it is probably already too late for anything to happen.
#35 - On 08/21/2009 at 10:47am by russianspy1234
i reject your theory. I think friends make the best boyfriends/girlfriends since you already know you have things in common and can get along. I was friends with my boyfriend for 5 months before we started dating. I agree that after 8 years nothing's going to happen...but really...8 seconds and it's already too late? No.
i reject your theory. I think friends make the best boyfriends/girlfriends since you already know you have things in common and can get along. I was friends with my boyfriend for 5 months before we started dating. I agree that after 8 years nothing's going to happen...but really...8 seconds and it's already too late? No.
I never said 8 seconds, in truth you have about 15. Yeah that's right, the vast majority of girls make up their minds within 15 seconds. Sure there are fringe cases, and I did once get in a relationship with a girl I was friends with for a few years. The relationship lasted a month, and she said she just wasn't comfortable dating a friend. Having things in common has nothing to do with attraction, as I have learned time and time again.
#92 - On 08/21/2009 at 6:05pm by russianspy1234
hahahaha thats suuuuuccchhh bullshit... it all depends what kind of friendship you have.. me and my ex knew eachother for like 5 years before anything happened. it all depends on ur friendship and how you approach it
Russianspy1234, I would venture a guess that you are the type of guy who women say they just want to be friends with so as not to hurt your feelings. The intentions are good, but it leaves you with the deluded notion that friendship means a relationship can't happen, when really it just means the woman isn't attracted to you. The confirmation is the story about the friend turned one month relationship turned uncomfortable dating a friend. That means she decided to give it a try because you were there, interested, and available, but couldn't make herself be really into it. Just an educated guess, of course.
#103 - On 08/22/2009 at 8:27am by Wanton_Rhapsody
once your in the friends zone there is no possibility of a relationship, but if there is that chance that you make things happen between you and your friend it still doesnt mean that its going to last forever just because you have something in common with someone. I have been with a friend before and even though i knew her for 6 years before and we liked each other we had a mutual breakup because we found it better to just be friends. I also agree 8 years is way too long and on top of that he dont know shit about her. You have to let people know how you feel in the beginning. To me it sounds like one of those thanks for the free meal type of thing. It might just be me but Im not paying for a girl that isnt mine. ESPECIALLY if its only a "date" in my head.
#106 - On 08/22/2009 at 10:58am by citycrazed25
BUT sometimes it takes a while to get those feelings.. you may not feel that way in the beginning then once you know them after a while they start to develop.. but agreed that 8 years is too long
Not always true. Or, really, true at all.
I find going out with guys who I haven't been friends with to be... incredibly awkward. Friends make good dates. It's easier on me, I don't have to go through any nonsense about what types of things I like, the big revel that I'm crazy is never actually a big revel. God, I wish every relationship was that easy.
#111 - On 08/23/2009 at 2:40am by gildedmuse
That's all well and good, sounds perfectly logical to me, but I have found that most (not all) women do not think that way, this isn't just personal experience, this is gathering information from both male and female friends.
#112 - On 08/23/2009 at 3:12am by russianspy1234
"apparently ive dated many of my close friends. damn."
are you a guy who pays for a your female friend when you're "hanging out"? if yes then she's using you
are you a female with male friends who pays for you when "hanging out"? if yes then you're an idiot for not noticing that that kind of gesture implicates that the guy "friend" is crushing on you. He's just stuck in the friends zone.
I would have to say 8 years is a long time and if she hasnt fallen for you already i think its time to move on....also how didnt you kno she had a boyfriend?
She went on a "date" with you when she had a boyfriend thats cheating and she could do the same to you i say just move on...lots of other girls out there
#43 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:13am by citycrazed25
hahahahaha true....i dont really think he tried to get with her
#46 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:27am by citycrazed25
Don't forget the shrine in his mothers basement dedicated to the girl, complete with scented candles and a sacrifice each full moon. =)
#51 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:53am by XOfiestypixie
Can I just say... THANK YOU for saying "had feelings for" instead of "totally omgz in lurrrve with" a girl you've never dated.
Anyway, wow, that sucks. Sometimes it's hard to differentiate between a "just friends" day out and a date when you don't know whether someone's already involved.
#48 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:39am by AdvocataDiaboli
i'm not going to trash you for taking 8 years to ask this girl out but if you knew her that long didn't you know she had a boyfriend?
#49 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:39am by ultraslick
anyone ever stop to think that maybe they were friends in high school but have lost touch since then and happened to run into each other.. just because he has liked her since he was 14 doesn't mean he is a creepy stalker and has to know everything about her life. and she's not a bad person for not saying she had a boyfriend from the beginning, she obviously has no clue about his feelings towards her so she could have just thought it was a chance to catch up with an old friend who offered to pay for an evening of fun.
also, it is possible to have a couple drinks in a short amount of time and still be fine to drive... it's called beer, and most of the shit they serve in bars has pathetic alcohol content percentages.
but im just guessing that if you want to be with someone you would want to find out if they are with someone already
#61 - On 08/21/2009 at 12:44pm by citycrazed25
YDI for being in love with the same girl for 8 years, and not knowing that she had a boyfriend to be able to avoid this stupidity. Move the fuck on.
if it makes you feel better it took me until i was 35 to get together with the girl i had feelings for when i was 14.
i'm guessing that telling you to wait another 13 years probably wouldn't help, though.
YDI for
1) Carrying a torch for that chick for eight years
2) Not doing your homework on her. You should have known if she had a bf or not.
You blew your chance eight years ago. Move on.
time to accept that you're in the friend zone and move on
#57 - On 08/21/2009 at 12:20pm by AshleyRose784
YDI for eating playing soccer before all of that.
Thats why she didnt want to kissyou..
FAGGOT
#67 - On 08/21/2009 at 1:25pm by amstillives
Typo, i clicked 9 instead of 8. I don't suck at math, I suck at proofreading!
#78 - On 08/21/2009 at 3:12pm by iFruit
Get a life man. I assume that if you're 22 you're probably in college. Don't waste your time on this one chick. Most women are just whores anyway, have some fun before you get tied down to one chick for the rest of your life.
She was checking you out, dude. You should have made your move. You just ended up making her horny.
#80 - On 08/21/2009 at 3:32pm by I_am_stupid_also
I hear ya. Hopefully she'll break up with the guy and you have a chance. good luck bud!
#82 - On 08/21/2009 at 3:38pm by Nightmare1
dude, i tooootally know how u feel, in fact, im thinking of submitting a FML about it, but im not sure yet
anyway good luck! I hope u have better luck than i do
#83 - On 08/21/2009 at 3:43pm by wtfjusthappened1
I hope you dropped her off in the bad part of town.
#85 - On 08/21/2009 at 4:42pm by RespondomaticMan
i know it's mean, but i pressed YDI.
sorry you were rejcted, but If you've known her for so long, how did you not know she whether she had a boyfriend or not?
I love how no one thinks that they were both aware they were cheating. This post makes sense if that's the case. I imagine you were pretty sure you were going to get laid...and with a girl you've liked for a long time! So yeah, dude. FYL.
Ouch...she should have told you she was seeing somebody before she agreed to go out with you. And for all the folks above who slam the OP for not knowing...he had a crush on her for 8 years, it's not like they were close friends. Obviously, they're NOT close friends because he didn't know she had a boyfriend! Duh! And for the morons saying "ydi becuz u waitd 8 years," well think about it. He could have been working at losing weight or getting over bad acne or a million different things.
But to the OP...I'm sorry. She sounds like a user, really. You know now that she only took advantage of you. Put her in your past and move on. You at least sound like you know how to treat a girl right. Now you need to find someone worth treating right.
To be honest, it sounds like she thought she was catching up with an old friend, while the OP thought it was a date. It sucks, but I seriously doubt she's a whore, and I really don't think the OP deserved it. Sounds like a case of poor communication. I know I have gone out to dinner with people and it not been a date at all. That doesn't mean I'm a whore. It means I have these things called friends and we do things together. It happens. It sucks, dude, but hopefully you can move on and find a girl who's available.
#93 - On 08/21/2009 at 6:38pm by Wanton_Rhapsody
Of course he deserves it, he's had a crush on her for 8 fucking years. That's way too long for anyone to go without either making a move or moving on. OP's a social failure. In most species, he would not be allowed to mate. The alpha male of the pack would rape him and eat his flesh.
#134 - On 03/12/2010 at 1:32am by a_borshunist
You liked her for 8 years and didn't know she has a bf?
And I agree with #93 and #94, sounds like she was just catching up with an old friend.
Dinner, movie, few drinks... I often do that with my guy friends. One on one too. Plus my boyfriend and I are in a long-term serious relationship, he's cool with it, and so are my guy friends.
Did you pay for all of it? Even if you just pay for say, the movie only, she might just think you're a cool guy being a gentleman. My friends and I often take turns paying for things.
Yeah I have a lot of female friends (read my previous post on the friend zone) and we often do things like dinner and movie nights, there isn't much else to do. You really should not have assumed it was a date.
#97 - On 08/21/2009 at 9:31pm by russianspy1234
It's interesting that you have "been in love with her" for eight years and apparently know next to nothing about her.
Or maybe you did know, and asked her out anyway. Which makes you a creep.
#99 - On 08/21/2009 at 11:16pm by capthavoc123
My husband had feelings for me for 4 years before we got together. He moved out of the country, and we kept in touch, but he wanted to tell me face to face. And a few times when I was single, I agreed to "hang out" with guy friends, just to realize halfway through it was a date. Very awkward. So I'm voting FYL-- I could totally see this happening without either party being at fault.
#101 - On 08/22/2009 at 12:35am by TheIrishJaneDoe
Personally, I'll often pay for my friends for lunch, dinner, movies, or whatever. Alternately, they will often pay for me as well. It's a nice gesture, and sometimes it's just easier than splitting the check. I was starting to wonder if I had the only group of friends that does this.
#104 - On 08/22/2009 at 8:30am by Wanton_Rhapsody
I don't think that's what OP and his "date" had in mind. For one thing, if he's so socially inept as to have a crush for 8 years and do nothing about it and doesn't even know her well enough (after 8 YEARS, HOLY SHIT THIS DUDE'S A FAILURE) to know if she has a boyfriend, I honestly don't think he'd be able to do that. Hell, he just got completely suckered by a genius of a woman who played him for a free meal, a free movie, and some drinks (because anyone pathetic enough to hold a hopeless crush for 8 years would probably be desperate and clueless enough to pay both halves of the bill on the first date. Paying for someone's meal, drinks, etc. is a gift. You don't give a gift to someone of your first date. It's pathetic and betrays both a complete ineptitude in reading and navigating social situations and a sense of entitlement -- what, you think he'd want to go home "empty-handed"? Of course not, he bought drinks for a complete stranger, it obviously wasn't out of the kindness of his heart, he was trying to get her to pass out drunk so he can stick his penis in her).
/rant.
#133 - On 03/12/2010 at 1:29am by a_borshunist
When you worship the ground someone walks on for years, you're basically saying "take advantage of me!!"
#108 - On 08/22/2009 at 3:56pm by turdburgers
My sympathies brother. Similar thing happened to me this summer. No one should have to go through that.
We've all been there. This YTMD explains it all:
http://wwhg.ytmnd.com/
#115 - On 08/24/2009 at 7:19am by PurpleSfinx
Hi my name is Forest, Forest Gump
Life is like a box of chocolate
#116 - On 08/26/2009 at 9:50am by YOMyLifeSuck
uhhhhhh, 1st. off 8 years!...really..do u have a life¿????
second......shouldnt you have know if she was dating before you asked her on a date??????
WWOOOOOWWWWWWW
#118 - On 08/26/2009 at 6:26pm by teamomiamor
Wow this is actually one of the things on FML that made me legitimately sad. Hang in there dude!
#119 - On 08/30/2009 at 11:56pm by fetusjuice
These kinds of idiots should get no sympathy. Their inferior genes are unfit for replication. The less losers on the internet empathize with him, the sooner he kills himself and the sooner future generations can breathe a collective sigh of relief.
#132 - On 03/12/2010 at 1:20am by a_borshunist
YDI for not finding out if she had a boyfriend before asking her out.
#121 - On 08/31/2009 at 6:16am by jormungandr
ok here are some possibilities and suggestions
Possibility: she didn't know it was a date (some people are stupid) either way she it was inappropriate for her to go out with you if she was in another relationship.
Possibility: she didn't feel the date went well and lied about her BF's house, it could have been a friends house
Suggestion: Always confirm it's a date before hand
Suggestion: Always ask if the girl you like is seeing some one
Seriously, 8 years? You've known her that long and you had no idea she had a boyfriend (not date, BOYFRIEND, as in long-term, because if she's 22 she's far too old to call some guy she's been on like 2 dates with a boyfriend). You're a fucking creeper. You've "liked" her for 8 years and you haven't made a move or even got to know the fact that she has a boyfriend. Honestly, how do you sustain a crush that long on so little basis? How do you even have a crush and an awkward, shitty, cliche "buy her drinks till she's drunk enough to fuck you" type date when you're 22? You should have this shit figured out by now, it's not difficult. The only possible way this could even be considered anything other than completely retarded is if she were a really good friend of yours in a long-term relationship (and even in that case, you should've just moved on -- she has a boyfriend, she's off-limits, go fuck someone else and think through your feelings constructively instead of trying to ruin someone else's perfectly good relationship). Go cry in the corner, OP. Go back to your /b/. You're a social failure. YDI.
#130 - On 03/12/2010 at 1:14am by a_borshunist
To OP: YDI for dating a girl who expects you to pay for her share of the bill. Seriously, if you want to date someone who expects a free ride and can't take care of themselves, go to the playground and scout for children. Which you probably already do on a regular basis. Bet you fail at that too.
#131 - On 03/12/2010 at 1:17am by a_borshunist
what an idiot! you didnt think to ask her if she's single or not?
then again shes a slut for going out with you if she has a bf..
then again, she might just be hinting that the date didnt go well and she just got you to drop her off at a randoms house.. like a friend or something..
hmm
any way.. FYL.
