Today, I was riding my motorcycle. Suddenly, I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. As a sign of anger, I spat my gum towards her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into the bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6562) - you totally deserved it (42104)
On 07/29/2009 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
You wanted to spit your gum at your ex-wife? YDI for being so immature
#1 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:13am by IndigoKitty
Ahaha, no kidding! Seriously, did you get married young? No wonder you're divorced.
I can understand feeling spiteful, but that was a big fat fail. Plus, would it have even hit her? Since you are the type to spit into the... visor... I would also assume you're the type to not take into account that you are moving faster than her, thus would most likely miss.
#5 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:21am by DameGreyWulf
Oh sure, it's funny.
Doesn't mean he doesn't deserve it though lol
#14 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:30am by DameGreyWulf
I don't blame him for wanting to spit his gum at the tramp. But dude pull your helmet down first. Then you spit it then say bitch and drive off really fast.
#51 - On 07/30/2009 at 12:00pm by ithedarkknight
i agree, that IS immature, but my question is this... how are you the 1 person in the world who got the gum that actually stuck to something you spit it at? cause that really doesn't happen too often. seems a little far-fetched
#75 - On 07/31/2009 at 10:16am by _THE_MASTER_
Immaturity aside, how do you forget your visor is down?
#2 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:16am by SomeonePosting
Besides, anybody who's worn a full-face motorcycle helmet knows that it is impossible to spit anything through the visor. There's no room to get it there from your mouth.
#33 - On 07/30/2009 at 5:57am by weird_dave
Stupidity aside, it's called acting out of impulse which usually happens when one acts without thinking. Thank you :)
#72 - On 07/30/2009 at 7:49pm by Kiwi_Splash
This is less of an FML and more of a "That was really stupid." You defiantly deserved that one.
#3 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:17am by HoShiz
Too bad, it would've been better if he had crashed into a brick wall going full speed and died. One less stupid person for us to worry about.
Why were you chewing gum while riding a motorcycle anyways?! That's really dangerous! D:
#7 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:22am by Leptailurus
I don't really get how you can be temporarily blinded by gum..
It's so small.
#9 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:24am by lalalalaura
I didn't know 8-year-olds could get married and/or ride motorcycles...
#16 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:40am by Nixx_has_2_xs
meh the OP shouldve just gave her the good old American finger and THEN shake his fast in anger as he heroically faceplants into a nearby bush
#17 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:40am by EveryDayJackAss
Like spitting gum at her would solve anything. Now she can have no doubt that you actually are the fool that she took you for, except now she has the powerful mental image of you faceplanting a bush to corroborate it.
YDI
#20 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:13am by bobbassguy
Some people chew many pieces of gum at a time. OP must be chewing a lot. A LOT.
#63 - On 07/30/2009 at 1:56pm by SuperSpore
ahahaha. you totally deserved it. it's always the little things we forget to do that really screw us, isn't it?
#27 - On 07/30/2009 at 4:33am by decibel_beads
Hey, at least you're from London. Mind the gap, mind the gap. Mind the bush aswell.
Sorry about your ex.
Seriously? A perfect example? People who spit deserve to die? Wow. It's like your natural habitat's bubblewrap. If Nostradamus was right, you'll probably die too. No time to bask in the terror, sorry.
she's an ex for a reason. get over it already. ydi. also can you explain how you were blinded by a piece of gum? this fml sounds fake.
#31 - On 07/30/2009 at 5:32am by Nightfallz
this has to be fake there is no way you can be blinded by a stick of gum.
#32 - On 07/30/2009 at 5:39am by Nightfallz
I call BS in a big way here. How could you spit gum and have it stick to your visor in a position to blind you? And why would you not open the visor so you could see even if it did?? Most helmets, there's simply no way this could happen.
#34 - On 07/30/2009 at 5:59am by SimpleSimon
I ride a motorcycle, and my experience leads me also to call BS on this one. Just as #34 says, it's highly unlikely you'd be able to spit gum onto the visor in pretty much any full or half-face helmet; the visor simply does not extend down that far. Anyone who has ever worn a helmet for a few seconds would realise this.
And as #22 said; blinded by a small peice of gum, to the point where an accident happens? I really don't think so. That'd be like crashing your car when a bird craps on your windscreen.
this would've been so much better if it ended with "and she had to call 911"
#43 - On 07/30/2009 at 9:39am by blahdeblah8392
YDI, spitting gum at someone is a nasty thing to do, even if she was your ex wife.
#52 - On 07/30/2009 at 12:01pm by LittleGigiK
YDI for trying to spit gum at her.
You should have run the slut over, even though you were on a motorcycle. The crunch as you hit her would have been awesome.
#53 - On 07/30/2009 at 12:08pm by midwestjerk
Actually, depending on the weather at the time (and the experience of the OP) this is possible. I also ride a motorcycle, and here, in the winter, my face shield fogs at the slightest moisture. I have to treat it regularly so that I can continue to ride. It’s possible that the moisture of the gum and the spit fogged over the face shield, impairing the OP's vision.
What it comes down to OP is this: trying to spit gum at someone while riding is dangerous and stupid, and you’re lucky you didn’t kill yourself or someone else. YDI; grow up or sell your bike.
#54 - On 07/30/2009 at 12:10pm by bladesandtears
FAIL Lie Fail FML Fail Fail period.
Obviouse Lie. A piece of gum would not block your vision. I've sneezed snot all over the inside of my full-face helmet shield and it stays below the field of vision (I couldn't read my speedometer w/o tipping my head way down...) Your mouth and eyes aren't that close to each other. A single piece of gum could NEVER block both your eyes.
Retort fail for spitting gum 'toward' anyone, like that's ever gonna work.
She obviously cheated on you because you're a douche-failure.
Work harder on your next whine for attention.
LOOOOOL
you're a loser. (:
and ydi... eithier if it's fake or not.
#59 - On 07/30/2009 at 12:59pm by rawrchimichangas
@ cocky
December 12 2012 isn't the end of the world ... the Mayan calender just goes into a new cycle... but we live in a very apocolyptic society that interprets it as "the end of the world"
if the world ended on 12/12/12, it would end on my brother's birthday. damn.
@ OP: next time make sure you take off your helmet first, though it's hard to believe it shot straight up.
#65 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:47pm by paris78
it would have seemed more realistic if the gum bounced back into his eye lol
#66 - On 07/30/2009 at 2:54pm by tj10splayer
this might not be fake... he could of wore a helmet like this:
http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/801984/7005412/0/1222524609/HALF_FACE_HELMET_WLT-206.jpg
and the gum might have disorientated him rather than actually obscure his view...
#68 - On 07/30/2009 at 3:26pm by dave_01396
I dunno - anyone who is dumb enough to try and spit gum at a passing pedestrian; while wearing a crash helmet with a visor; is probably dumb enough to crash because of gum sticking to the visor...
Why would you spit UP? From your mouth to your eyes? Someone has pretty bad aim.
#73 - On 07/30/2009 at 9:52pm by Stephai
YDI for not understanding how to be the bigger person.
YDI for being immature and gross.
YDI for being dumb and thinking that spitting gum off a moving motorcycle would likely hit and also for the whole visor thing.
FYL for being cheated on.
and
YDI for still not understanding that she could care less what you think of her and it would likely sting more to ignore her completely.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! act like ya'll havent done way worse to an ex, its not like if the gum would have hit her it would have hurt, and who knows if it even would have reached. He said "As A sign of anger, I spit it towards her" , not AT her..and ya'll keep saying "be the bigger person, blah blah balh" when ya'll have NO IDEA what she has done in the past to warrant this type of behavior. It only allows so much space to type. This post made me laugh out loud, this dude is awesome.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry. It's just the funniest story if read today.
Anway, it's does suck.
You're still alive otherwise you coudn't write it.
