Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a "fat girl's bike." FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward two hours of my life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to a local band’s show. She didn’t want to dance with me, and after the show she got the lead singer’s number and planned to hang out the next day. We’re both 24, this kid just turned 19. She told me she was only into men her age or older. FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
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Top comments
poloisbored 7
You could ask her to teach you, that way you'd spend much more time together.
DocBastard 40
You should feel even worse because "come biking with me" clearly meant "come **** my brains out, big boy." Learn to read between the lines, son.
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Comments (166)
poloisbored 7
You could ask her to teach you, that way you'd spend much more time together.
goldfish96 2
i second that idea ^
joshiepo0 18
Or he could sit on the handlebars while she rides around.
perdix 31
#1, yeah, girls love teaching things to guys without skills. Perhaps, you can ask her to teach you how to wipe yourself properly.
Sandman366 6
I lived in hills. I never learned to ride a bike. (There was very little non-hill where I grew up. We even got our back yard flattened at one point.) Ask her to teach you, would probably strengthen the relationship more than if you already knew how and agreed to go.
perdix 31
#50, you mean it's not side-to-side? No wonder I've never had a date . . . or a friend . . . or a pet.
perdix 31
#56, what is this underwear you speak of? Signed, The Lone Commando
Strikerr 5
idk how to give someone a thumbs up, so thumbs up!
AmazingNicole96 4
It's quite a mystery how to thumb somebody up isn't it? I guess the thumbs under the comment are just there for looks.
jajaflan 4
#67 she meant white underwear like you shit yourself so its never white.
Shrouds 14
^^no...shit
osbourne_fml 11
I agree you shouldn't have said no but hopefully you'll get another chance I wish I had gotten one
boldwick 2
it's not even too late to go tell her that either, go man while there is still hope!
HouseElf 13
86- dramatic pause
isabellegypsy 12
#44 I went ice skating with a guy who didn't know how but he tried because I asked him to go (not knowing he didn't know how) He was clumsy and fell but it was a cute gesture and I wound up helping him and it was a really fun day. So you're wrong, some girls think that kind of thing is cute, and OP's crush might have been one of them.
nickob96 25
Exactly... Just say my parents never taught me... Do you mind if you happen to be the one to teach me?
TML329 14
And when he falls she can kiss his boo boos
X_Codes 11
@128 - I'm a guy and haven't had that kind of experience, but I do think it'd be fun to introduce someone to something they've never done before, romantic intentions or no. @OP - It looks to me like this was a very thinly veiled excuse for the two of you to spend some time together. Go back, RIGHT NOW, and ask her to teach you. If she makes some kinda comment on your inability to take a hint, ask her to teach you that, too.
tjv3 10
Learn to ride. Tell her that u don't know how and then see if she will help. It would be fun and it would be a bonding experience
appleash 6
gemcguire 13
I taught my bf to ride a bike when he was 21, it was a really embarrassing knowledge gap for him.
nebula748 14
Better learn soon unless you want to end up like Fraiser.
tehman117 21
I GET IT!!!! But Niles was the one who couldnt i thought.
diving_fml 30
better get some training wheels if you want to be with her
Vash_41288 10
I saw a post somewhere that said if you take the pedals off and lower seat down so that your feet touch the ground and stroll around until you find your balance then put pedals on will help you learn fast.
realtingdis 12
I learned to ride in a day using a similar technique.
baba01_fml 17
Tell her your face can double for her bike seat any time.
sunkissedluster 20
Aww, your parents never taught you to ride a bike? :( Learn that, then you'll get a fast track to riding something else. ;)
sunkissedluster 20
OOPS. I didn't mean to post as a reply. App's screwing about with me. And it doesn't say he's straight, he could be bi, but I actually meant like he'd be riding her. Sorry.
nycwrestler 17
25- the fact that it's a male talking about the girl of his dreams leads me to believe he is in fact a straight male.
IworkAt711 14
34- Im a Bisexual male, and I could still have a girl of my dreams.
nycwrestler 17
57- congrats, want a cookie?
mistercrow 9
Well there is this crude thing that lurks in my parent's pantry called a strap on...
SoylentCandycorn 10
It's what is termed as "bisexual erasure". A man whose dating another man is assumed to be gay. A man whose dating a girl is assumed to be straight. It's more complicated then that, but that is basically the most common manifestation of it.
FastidiousPear 6
76, they keep it in the pantry? Like next to the sack of potatoes? I hope they wash it. Frequently.
cgchamp89 7
I'm sorry, but I feel bad for you because your parents have failed you... Ask her to teach you. You have nothing to lose at this point.
Lichinamo 33
Parents don't 'fail' if their kids don't learn how to ride a bike. When I was a kid and learning to ride, I messed up and landed face first on gravel. I never wanted to learn after that, so maybe OP had something bad to him happen when learning and want to stop. OP, I hope you don't lose your chance!
MCRaddict15 15
I never learned how to ride a bike. Frankly didnt see a point to it when skateboarding seemed cooler. I certainly dont think my parents failed me.
SirCharles83 13
Well maybe your parents failed you for letting you fall. Also, people don't ride bikes or skateboard because they are cool. Most people do it because they enjoy it.
happle 21
My boyfriend has always ridden a skateboard and has never learned to ride a bike. There's no shame in not knowing or not teaching your kid something.
cgchamp89 7
It was a given to teach your child how to ride a bike where I grew up. At 23, I still don't have a friend that has not taught their child how to ride a bike... Just differences I suppose
CptZoe 10
46- When you are young and you are given a choice of which to use; skateboard, blades or bike, you will probably choose the one you think is the coolest, then once you have a go you might then find it fun and wish to carry on or you might hate it and wish to stop. So you choose by what you think is cool but develop your skills if it is fun.
Nitr0_fml 3
Why so many negatives? Makes perfect sense.
Kris_95_fml 7
Or like the vast majority if people I know who learn to use all three despite being better at one or the other
titibug823 11
Ask her to teach you! Honestly, she might find it kinda cute, teaching you to ride it!
HortonThelephant 15
Hopefully she isn't the high school bike, and your the last to be offered a ride.
DocBastard 40
You should feel even worse because "come biking with me" clearly meant "come **** my brains out, big boy." Learn to read between the lines, son.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
OP should have realized that she wanted him to be the bike she was going to ride
Old_Iron_Sides 6
Just tell her that you never learned, and let her teach you. It could be a bonding experience.
soad2014 7
Better if you learn now than never