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Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (57634) - you totally deserved it (2192)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

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Comments

that's just mean :-(

#1 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:01pm by sjx

Wow I'm at a loss for words.
It's amazing what stunts losers would pull to get out of having a mature, face-to-face talk with you.

#2 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:02pm by fermata

So classy. Haha. :]

#3 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:02pm by Chaith

At least he was creative

#4 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:04pm by pancakes_n_syrup

sorry that guy was too much of a pussy to do it face to face

#5 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:04pm by christutta

I give the guy points for being creative, but he loses so many more points for not having the balls to just tell it you in person.

#6 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:09pm by Ugrashrath

this reminds me of that sex and the city episode where carrie's boyfriend dumps her with a post it note lol

#7 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:12pm by stargirl14

That is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard.

#8 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:13pm by lnm701

That is fucking awesome.

#9 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:15pm by brodizzle

I should of thought of that.

#10 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:15pm by DatBoyJday

If he's that much of an immature wuss, you didn't deserve him anyways.

#11 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:16pm by foolsangel

YDI 100% for being a rubbiish girlfriend, and this must be true, for him to have done the dumping in such a tough way

#12 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:16pm by mark266

if you were dumped by the bear, that means you were dating the bear...?

#13 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:17pm by suckstobeyou3

wow... # 12's right what a wuss... that still stinks though... sorry

#14 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:17pm by cjk6318

Wow, sorry you wasted 2 yrs of your life with such a D-bag :/

FYL indeed

PS- #12 was probably your BF, and should DIAF

#15 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:17pm by genius_man16

asshole. creative, but he should use the creativity to ask you out not dump you, you need a better boyfriend than him

#16 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:18pm by pinkdinosaur64

wow thats cold

#17 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:18pm by newzealander

:) hope you're okay.... :$ this made me cry....

#18 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:18pm by t3resa

What a fucker, #12 did you mean he didn't deserve HER?
Bahah, I get you though.


Yeahh he is a loser.

#19 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:18pm by ohhhhshizzz

ouch. I have to admit, that was pretty creative...
but what a dick move. i'm sorry.

#20 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:19pm by savasana

That's so mean!

He doesn't even have the guts to tell you himself... So instead he gets a bear (!) to do the job.
Mean stuff.

#21 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:21pm by zavanna

that's genious, you must have not meant that much to him.

#22 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:24pm by Truthbringer

wow. thats pretty gay.

#23 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:25pm by Kailee1993

#7 that is spot on, +1 for creativity, minus a lot more than that for being a wuss.

#24 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:26pm by ammali

thats all bad.

#25 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:26pm by H3avy

How immature and dumb. it must hurt, but if that's the kind of person he is then its all for the better.

#26 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:26pm by Mr_Positive

what a jerk! i would say to buy another bear, record some choice words, and send it to him, but he doesn't seem worth the money of buying another bear.

#27 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:30pm by curryndricegirll

Everyone is saying how immature he is, but look at it from a guys' point of view. After breaking up with a girl, most girls will have a large number of questions and accusations and insults and it's a horrible ordeal. At least he was creative about it. Granted though, that is pretty asshole-ish since they had gone out for two years, face-to-face WOULD have been much better in this situation.

#28 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:31pm by strangersdk

Maybe your just an emotional person who would take the news very bad and he just didnt wanna deal with that who knows how badly you would have flipped out maybe thats why he dumped you

perhaps theres a whole bunch of shit going on in his life and feeling shitty about breaking up with you is the last thing he needed

i'm just making assumptions but think about it peoples

#29 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:32pm by ZiggyMorrison

How did your boyfriend manage to recor his own voice on the bear?
Props to that C:<
But im sorry about what happened xP

#30 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:38pm by lolwhat

What a blubbering vag that guy is. You are way better off without him.

#31 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:38pm by manihack

Sucks for you, but gotta give him points for being creative.

#32 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:39pm by altna

Badass, wish I had thought of something like that.

#33 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:46pm by ManOfTheHour

I agree #29

#34 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:53pm by Daysgoby

This sounds FAKE? Something's missing..."woke up"..."sisters talking teddy". Sounds like he was staying over/living in your family home? If it's true, then there's two sides to this story! Sorry i just don't buy this FML... Fail!

#35 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:58pm by tWitt3rBuG

#28
Way to make all guys seem like selfish pricks. Thanks for that.

OP: That is fucking awful, not the least reason being he not only used a bear, a cute little teddy bear, but your LITTLE SISTER'S cute little teddy bear. That's like giving someone a box of chocolates with all the centres being made of acid. Something crap masked by something sweet, so the insult/injury is a double blow when you realise the lie of it. What a fucker!
I totally approve of you seeking retribution in the most petty and vindictive way possible. I'd help if I could. Find someone who isn't a c*nt of massive proportions, k? FYL, hope it gets better.

#36 - On 04/26/2009 at 2:59pm by judgeymcjudge

That is so terrible and so funny at the same time.

#37 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:00pm by HurriKaty

#29, not #28. Stupid computer of doom.

#38 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:05pm by judgeymcjudge

That really sucks. Sounds like something my boyfriend would do to me. People just suck.

#39 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:20pm by hdbadgirl

is it weird that i would actually like to have seen that happen?

#40 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:22pm by cherrybollosm04

I kinda agree with #35... how in the heck did he get a hold of your sister's teddy?! I feel for you if it actually did happen though....

#41 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:30pm by uneekfreak16

Um, why has no one asked how he even pulled this off? What kind of teddy bear says "it's over," and how did it "say" "squeeze me"? Was there a note on it, or the original "squeeze me" sticker from the store? Was the bear one that could record voices (I've never actually seen/heard of one of these, though obviously it's possible)?

#42 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:32pm by airandfingers

Dude, that is pathetic and not mention cruel. He's a pussy, and you deserve much BETTER!

#43 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:36pm by ebbasaur

If he was such a loser that he freakin recorded a voice on a stuffed bear, he was probably gay anyways. You're better off.

#44 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:39pm by deathproof

lol that's kinda funny

#45 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:40pm by butzilein

who does that? ridiculous.

#46 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:43pm by imintheair

Creative (as everyone else has said) - Yes.
Irresponsible and immature boy (not man) - Yes.

Real men don't do that. Just boys. Find the fine line that separates the two the next time you date a dude.

#47 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:43pm by Kiquick

... Are you guys retarded? You can get bears that you can record anything you want to say on. Just like cards.

#48 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:43pm by drkwlf

Somehow I picture him saying it in a high-pitched teddy bear voice...

#49 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:53pm by uneekfreak16

he's not worth it if that's how he broke up with you !!

#50 - On 04/26/2009 at 3:54pm by kaylaella

Wayyyy too much time on his hands.

#51 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:03pm by SirAndrew

What a loser. How immature of a way to break up with someone. If he was a real man, he'd do it in person.

#52 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:03pm by grazynaanka

omfg that is some bs...hes low and mean
ugh he deserves any amount of karma that hits him in the face
evil hoe bag.
im srrry :(

#53 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:06pm by trees_r_life

that sucks but damn that was creative, sorry but i must give him credit for doing it in such a unique way =D

#54 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:11pm by 666midnight

You gotta give him points for creativity.
But still, FYL.

#55 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:28pm by FMY_FYL

@ #10.....

Wow, you and this girl's ex-BF must go to the same Douche Bag conventions.... with an attitude like that, the only dating you'll be doing is with gay guys in bathroom stalls...

And to the OP... don't worry, it sounds like you can do WAY better than him. The best thing to do is to not show that it hurt you. Laugh it off with some friends.

#57 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:33pm by littlemisslee

Oohhh, that really sucks. He should have had the balls to tell you face to face. Obviously you're better off without him anyway. Nobody likes a pansy.

#58 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:33pm by Miss_Tyff

Awesome and clever. ZING!

#59 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:37pm by Agrajagged

hes mature
not

#60 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:38pm by rocket9

Although he also needs to grow a pair and get raped.

#61 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:40pm by Agrajagged

There are lots of stuffed bears that act like recorders.

God, I hope this one is fake. So depressing if true. And ridiculous.

#62 - On 04/26/2009 at 4:52pm by blue8795

im so sorry:( that must've hurt.

#64 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:03pm by thedash

brownie points for creativity...

#65 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:09pm by ellebell

that's kind of funny and creative, but that really sucks for you. that guy is a pussy. you're better off without him.

#66 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:24pm by Gotz_No_Love

What is this Dr. Dolittle?!?!?!

#68 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:32pm by Jertastic

Wow... That's funny

#70 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:35pm by Monty_Python

now what you do is make sure everyone knows he did that. that's one of those dead giveaways that he doesn't have a spine and no woman should waste time with him.
how did u explain to ur sister why her bear was so angry?

#71 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:38pm by Socrates

If he's been dating her for 2 years, she can't be that horrible. And even if she is super emotional and all of that and he didn't want to tell her to her face, the least he could have done (after, I repeat, 2 years of dating) is write a letter, leave a message, or email her or something. That was unnecessarily mean, and she's well off without him.

#72 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:38pm by zouss

that's really hilarious lol. thats a really creative but probly expensive way to break up.
dont think of this guy as a dick cuz he broke up with his GF, consider things from his point of view, this chick could be a hige bitch who deserves it.. just sayin. FYL

#73 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:39pm by wytemagic

How the HELL did he do that? I'm sorry, but FYL.

#74 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:47pm by ebbasaur

HAHA freakin Bulid a bear....Im so doing thid tomy boyfriend when we break up lol

#75 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:48pm by jumpgurl23

Wow... he'd better be under 16.

#76 - On 04/26/2009 at 5:58pm by MoobyTheCow

Why the fuck would he be messing with your little sister's bear?

#77 - On 04/26/2009 at 6:07pm by EffinWhosLife

Some of these comments are ridiculous. There are reasons he could be sleeping at her/her parents' house - nobody said he was LIVING there. They could've been napping. Or maybe her parents are cool and don't mind if he spends the night. And maybe he'd seen the bear before; if he hangs out with her family, maybe he just knew it existed and thought it would be a good idea to use it, so he went and got it.

That said, it was a horrible idea, insensitive, and completely cruel. What a dickwad. Unless she was running around cheating on him, nobody deserves that kind of coldness after wasting two years of their life on a guy.

#78 - On 04/26/2009 at 6:27pm by imagineyesterday

none of that, "at least he was creative"
i still don't think it's true. why would you squeeze a fucking bear when you have serious relationship problems, haha.

#81 - On 04/26/2009 at 6:42pm by rihannalover

I say give him a call and say you won't accept that message until he gives it to himself, face-to-face.

Oh, and #73, unless you know the couple or actually are that chicken-shit boyfriend, you have no reason to say she deserves it.

#82 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:05pm by xThatRandomGirlx

This website just made me realize that some ppl really need to learn some basic lessons.

Gentlemen, ladies (yes you too), if it went beyond the third date, the least you owe the other person when dumping him/her is a phone conversation. In the case of an actual relationship, anything less than a face-to-face talk means you need to grow a pair, even in most long-distance situations.

#83 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:11pm by fermata

I can't believe some people are saying she deserves it. Who deserves to be dumped by a talking teddy bear? And obviously it was a committed relationship since it lasted 2 years, so it must be extremely embarrassing to have had that happen. Don't say she deserves it. No one knows why he dumped her, but obviously she's too good for him anyway since he's an immature jerk who couldn't say it to her face.

#84 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:14pm by Tresemmegan

hahaha, it sucks but I found this one a bit funny. He was probably unhappy for a while if he had to come up with an idea to break up.

#85 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:33pm by 24788

#36, it's FML. It's not "Share my life's story with every single little detail in it and then share the reason my life is f*****.", so don't just go saying "Oh it's fake things are missing failfailfail". No offense, but seriously. Either way real or fake, that would totally suck

OP, you can totally do better. And anyone who says they you deserved this needs to be slapped real damn hard. There are good guys out there. Promise (:

#86 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:34pm by xohxbrittanyrae

Ouch. That guy needs to grow a pair, and then be kicked in it.

#87 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:38pm by Tsukasa

#13. wtf. how is this her fault. No one deserves that. And she's obviously not terrible if they were together for 2 years. Don't make stupid assumptions.

The boyfriend is a complete loser. (an innovative loser... but still a loser).

#88 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:52pm by ThatsAli3

aww sorryy. i was dumped by text in the middle of my basketball practice. my coach yelled at me when i tried to text to talk about it. its been months ad i still dont know why the guy dumped me

#89 - On 04/26/2009 at 7:53pm by ohwowlifesucks

get him one saying "xxx has a small penis. very unsatisfying."

#90 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:13pm by rwarlol

how do you know your boyfriend isn't the teddy bear???

#91 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:14pm by fmkittw

give him props for originality.

and a bear that says "get some balls and dump me yourself"

#92 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:15pm by pencilmustache

hey, you can always burn his house down, and leave the bear in the front lawn with a recording that says "now, it's over!"

#93 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:37pm by balanceMMX

Pft, jerk. :|

#94 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:50pm by iPhanny

Awesome way to get dumped, your ex had a good imagination

#95 - On 04/26/2009 at 8:53pm by swanlee

Wow, what an ass.

#96 - On 04/26/2009 at 9:17pm by Dhamy

This is pretty bad. But...

You've got to admit, it's pretty clever. I give him points for originality.

#97 - On 04/26/2009 at 9:30pm by firebrand111

WTH! What a jerk!

#98 - On 04/26/2009 at 9:49pm by KristelDreams

YDI. Nobody ever looks at it from the BFs perspective, you're probably running around whoring yourself out, or just a bitch. Be thankful he put that much creative thought into it.

#99 - On 04/26/2009 at 10:06pm by worstlifevuh

#36 I was only speculating we dont know the whole situation now do we? what if the guy is under massive amounts of stress especially because it seems like it was an all of a sudden type thing without any warning where he wouldnt be able to take the guilt emotional energy to deal with it thats just one possible way of looking at it

#100 - On 04/26/2009 at 10:50pm by ZiggyMorrison

thats awesome hahaha

#101 - On 04/26/2009 at 11:01pm by krystlex3

Classy.

#102 - On 04/26/2009 at 11:04pm by craigahh

Man that's just sick, unfortunately you found out he was a spineless asshole after 2 years. I feel bad for you :(.

#103 - On 04/26/2009 at 11:34pm by TMX666

if you ask me it's pretty creative :)

#104 - On 04/26/2009 at 11:55pm by playful2088

Pretty creative? Pretty shallow. If you date someone for 2 years and don't have the balls to say it to their face, you're not much of a man.

#105 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:09am by Floridaguy81

this is the part where you record yourself in a creepy voice saying something crazy like you are going to murder him...then he comes home and there's the bear staring him down saying squeeze me and you know the rest

#106 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:23am by slamdnkindrummer

lmao hha that is funny as hell. I wonder what happened to the talking bear

#107 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:28am by albokid52

I knew teddy bears were evil little things.

#108 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:41am by deplorableworld

What you could do is plant a bomb in the same teddy bear and mail it to him. That should do it! Or....you could make a move on the teddy bear. Who knows? Maybe the teddy bear is hotttt

#109 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:52am by panda_rectum

LOLZ thats the funniest dump ever

#110 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:56am by falconpunch

ps to # 12 you have the saying backwards that means he was to good for her you dumb ass lol

#111 - On 04/27/2009 at 12:58am by falconpunch

lol i love it when people mess up and say 'if hes that bad u dont deserve him' or something similar. i know it can mean the same thing as "he doesnt deserve you" but it just sounds like such a negative.

also, this guy is funny, probably a douchebag but he may have weighed up his options of pulling an absolutely awesome breakup or maning up about it. the temptation may have been too great or perhaps he just really didnt like you and thinks you cheated on him or something.

#112 - On 04/27/2009 at 1:00am by organisedchaos

LOL #69
Perfect number

that quite tempting to do i wanna kno what that video is but its to late lol and i dont really kno 57 ppl off the top of my head

#113 - On 04/27/2009 at 1:03am by falconpunch

He's immature if he can't say it to you in person. You should be glad he's gone.

#114 - On 04/27/2009 at 2:06am by nagewin

#100 - Ziggymorrison

Sorry man, I didn't mean you, I meant the one above you. The site kept changing numbers - I did mean #28 after all. My bad.

Although, now I've got you here... Even if any of your ideas are true, how does that justify doing something as cruel as this?? A letter, a voice recording alone, ANYTHING else, sure. But *this*??? No way, man. That's just downright jerkish behaviour.

#115 - On 04/27/2009 at 3:26am by judgeymcjudge

lulz at #72. Teddies have bad days too.
Haha. Awesome. He should have been waiting outside the door so when you walked out he could say "what the bear said." That might have saved him some man points, while still allowing him to pull off the awesome bear thing.


Today a strange man took me from my toybox and violated me with a tape recorder. Hours later I was squeezed by a hysteric woman, forcing me to say something like "It's over" then be cuddled and criedo n for another hour and a half. FML

#116 - On 04/27/2009 at 5:54am by robinhoood

hahahahahaha awesome :D

#117 - On 04/27/2009 at 7:03am by humpty_dumpty

Totally agree with #2! What amazing lengths to go to just in order to avoid actually talking to you like a normal adult. I'm so sorry, and you're clearly better off!

#118 - On 04/27/2009 at 9:20am by kellster

Aw...that really sucks. He's a coward, you shouldn't let him hurt you that way.

#119 - On 04/27/2009 at 9:27am by RenRen

WHAT A DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hug*

#120 - On 04/27/2009 at 11:54am by philopastry

THAT is just AWESOME!

#121 - On 04/27/2009 at 1:45pm by OtakuX

I'm sorry. Dx

With a bear, though? And your little sister's? Wowza, that goes to show how much of a dick he is.

#122 - On 04/27/2009 at 3:35pm by Melodious

why would he go to all that trouble when he could just say it to your face? he's a douche

#123 - On 04/27/2009 at 4:15pm by LilleyWhite

thats a cool way to be dumped though

#124 - On 04/27/2009 at 6:05pm by oliviagrizz

How did he do that? I didn't know you could record to those things. This opens up a whole realm of possibilities.

#125 - On 04/27/2009 at 6:07pm by lunchmeat317

ugh I am so sorry that stinks... I'm going through some crap with my boyfriend over 2 years right now too :( good luck

#126 - On 04/27/2009 at 6:36pm by hahababy

very creative of him
but thats so sad:(

#127 - On 04/27/2009 at 10:33pm by heeystefi

Creative, b ut still a bastard move to pull. Indirect breakups are pussy moves, no matter how creative.

#128 - On 04/28/2009 at 1:43am by audiogasmic

wow what a douche. youre better off without him.

#129 - On 04/28/2009 at 4:31am by trumpetgirl25

build a bear ftwwwwwww

#130 - On 04/28/2009 at 12:20pm by FMyFuture

Least he saw a little effort to ease the pain... Remember that the sea is full of fish...

#131 - On 04/28/2009 at 2:05pm by swodah

Wow..that's a jerk move on his part. I know its easy for me to say, since I am not in your shoes right now, but I think you're probably better off if he couldn't even be bothered to talk to you about it face-to-face.

#132 - On 04/28/2009 at 2:50pm by eternalaphrodite

What a prick. You should order a hit on him since he's a fucking tool

#133 - On 04/28/2009 at 3:06pm by Anonymous485

He is an asshole, but at least you got a funny story out of it!

#134 - On 04/28/2009 at 3:38pm by demonkey

fuck him!

#135 - On 04/28/2009 at 4:42pm by victoryahughes

this sounds very familular 

#136 - On 04/29/2009 at 1:59am by MTizzle_lol_FML

LOL! that is so cool! I wonder how he programed the bear to record his voice?

#137 - On 04/29/2009 at 2:32am by SpiralFairy

ya wat #130 said lol

#138 - On 04/29/2009 at 8:05pm by heyitzmeh

that is messed up on so many level but

thats funny and i give your boy friend credit for creativity

#139 - On 04/30/2009 at 12:18am by conch

that really stinks
&& im sorry
but i would much rather be dumped by a talking bear
than thru text message
at least you heard him say it.
but anyways..... f*ck him!

#140 - On 04/30/2009 at 2:29am by POORLiLSTELA

thats just F*cked up.
if you dated a guy like that for that long, then obousivusly he wasnt the guy you thought he was.
hes loss, not yours.

#141 - On 05/01/2009 at 12:29am by HanHanX95

oh gosh that was really rude and awkward way to say it's over.. anyways its he's loss he will probably regret the way he dumped you.. he did not have the courage to say it to your face.

#142 - On 05/01/2009 at 11:42am by cute_princess

he really planned that break-up well!

#143 - On 05/01/2009 at 1:08pm by jeisa

you sleep with your boyfriend even though you share a room with your little sister???

#144 - On 05/01/2009 at 4:33pm by swimchica

Aawww sweetie :(
That's so harsh! What an asshole!

#145 - On 05/09/2009 at 3:26pm by Christy_Dior

Well that to me would it make it a little hard to miss him =\

#146 - On 05/12/2009 at 3:59pm by DarkMirror

one of the saddest things i've ever heard :(

#147 - On 05/13/2009 at 1:29pm by YukiKirai

Look at the bright side, you are better off without him! Good for you!

#148 - On 05/17/2009 at 6:23am by realworldhk

I feel like using your little sister's bear is a subtle hint that he might be with her now...

#149 - On 05/20/2009 at 10:51pm by LadyinaBlueDress

Wow... thats fucked up... O_o

#150 - On 05/31/2009 at 5:13pm by Barbarossa

the last line made me laugh out loud. dumped by a talking bear.... priceless.... aww but im sorry sweetheart. im sure you can find someone better

#151 - On 07/19/2009 at 5:31pm by DWdizzy

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