Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he proceeded to cry and piss his pants. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you totally deserved it (1179)
On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)
(+2)Then tell them to go to the Nurse, who obviously can touch students anywhere the nurse sees fit,
(+3)if a kid needs to pee, it needs to pee. it doesn't have the time to walk all the way to the nurse
#3 - On 11/18/2009 at 6:21am by unfortunate_13
(-2)Well, Robin, though not proper, it's easier to type "it" than "he/she" or "(s)he." Not trying to dehumanize, as it is a gender-neutral term, just being lazy.
Anyway...
OP, you should have just done it. Poor kid.
#70 - On 11/18/2009 at 11:19pm by DameGreyWulf
(-1)There is no such thing as a singular "they." It is grammatically incorrect. It is strictly colloquial.
#75 - On 11/19/2009 at 2:21am by DameGreyWulf
(0)my kindergarten teacher buttoned and zipped up pants all they time. oh god. pedo
#93 - On 03/17/2010 at 8:52pm by kiki123_55555
(0)my kindergarted tacher zipped and buttoned pants ALL the time to like everbody. oh god PEDO ALERT
#95 - On 03/17/2010 at 8:59pm by kiki123_55555
(-1)I'd rather say its the kids FML.
I bet you laugh about it, sadistic bastard! Mo-ahahaha!
#2 - On 11/18/2009 at 6:18am by vapors
(+1)It's the parents' fault for sending the kid to school in pants he can't take off on his own. Let him go home in the pee-soaked pants and maybe they'll learn their lesson.
#29 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:14pm by lace_belmort
(0)It's not his fault, so he shouldn't be punished just so the parents buy him different pants. Although they should find him different pants. Anyone make elastic only pants for kids he could wear?
#68 - On 11/18/2009 at 10:50pm by RandomCommenter
(0)LOL i like this. hopefully u werent able to change said kid, and he went home crying about it. then the very thing overprotective mothers have campaigned to be put in place to help their little shits has come back to bite them :D yay!
#5 - On 11/18/2009 at 7:09am by organisedchaos
(+1)mothers do not campaign for these laws. The schools do, to protect themselves, because SOME idiot parents (not just mothers) decide to sue left right and centre.
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
the kid was probably completely humiliated already. He had just peed his pants, and he had the courage on the trust to go and ask you, a teacher, for help. think of how embarrassing that must have been!! and instead of helping him, you told him there is nothing you could do and let him pee his pants again. if a kid asks you for help, you help them. you are their teacher. it is your responsibility and i hope he never trusts you with anything again
#49 - On 11/18/2009 at 5:49pm by ThUrSdAy13th
(+4)OK, so you say she should have helped him. Then what? The school is slapped with a lawsuit from the kid's parents claiming that that OP touched their child inappropriately. The OP would be fired and never allowed to teach again, and be labeled as a pedophile. The kid's family, meanwhile, would take millions of local tax dollars for themselves and live in luxury.
It seems like these ordinances are partly due to overprotective parents, and partly due to the hope that, with so many rules in place, SOMEONE will mess up and the "victim" will strike it rich.
Yeah, it's a stupid ordinance. OP would do better to fight it by letting the kid's parents deal with a piss-covered child than by changing his pants. Make the voters hate the ordinance, don't make them think "oh, good thing that pedophile was caught!"
#54 - On 11/18/2009 at 7:30pm by Chopperman
(+3)And have the kid go home and say "I PEED MY PANTS AND MRS. SMITH HELPED ME WITH MY ZIPPER"
"She did what?"
"She touched my pee pee because I asked her to help me!"???
Can you say lawsuit?
#55 - On 11/18/2009 at 7:31pm by Sun_Kissed18
(+4)"Hello, Mrs Doe! This is the principal at John's school. We had to cut his pants again since he couldn't unzip them himself..." "/.../" "No, you are well aware of that we are allowed to touch the children's hips, but not the behind or front." "/.../" "Yes, we used scissors." "/.../" "No, we didn't hurt him with the scissors as we accidentally did the last time." "/.../" "If you say so, Mrs. Doe, we can let him spend the day in his peed pants, but I want that in writing from you and your husband."
I really think that the fear of pedophiles has taken monstrouous proportions. Why not tdress the kids up in Burqa to protect them from peeping?
(0)my kindergarted tacher zipped and buttoned pants ALL the time to like everbody. oh god PEDO ALERT
#94 - On 03/17/2010 at 8:54pm by kiki123_55555
(+5)really, you'd be touching a zipper nothing more than that... sometimes I think Americans go a little overboard with some of their laws.
#9 - On 11/18/2009 at 8:06am by Mismatchedmind
(0)Something tells me this is a kid from high school...
#11 - On 11/18/2009 at 8:24am by Brave_Sir_Robin
(-1)Don't worry, you didn't fall for that old trick. I used to do it again and again at school to get the pretty teachers to touch my dick. (That's before all those "policies" showed up. Damn policies!)
They said I had to stop because it was no longer cute. . .
In my junior year. . .
Of college.
(-2)WOW! That happened to me once! I asked my teacher to unzip me and she didnt. I asked again and she sad that she could not have sex with me.. Fucking grade 12.
(+3)This makes me angry. I understand people needing to feel like they're protecting their kids from pedophiles, but a pedo is going to unzip your kids pants whether or not it's against the law, and in the meantime these poor kidlettes and teachers have to pay for a parents' false sense of security. Retarded.
#14 - On 11/18/2009 at 9:18am by Unsaturatedfatty
(0)That's awful, but there is a way to solve this problem without resorting to being embarrassing and unsanitary. The trick to this is to get other staff members- especially supervisors to watch if you can find one in time (oh lord that sounds wrong). That way they can back you up if you need witnesses to say you were helping the kid.
#16 - On 11/18/2009 at 9:21am by usagicookies
(+1)You can't really help it. It's the district's fault, not yours. Now send him to the nurse or call his parents or something. If they bitch about it, blame it on them because unless they oppose the legislation, it's as much their fault as it could be anybody else's that supports it.
#17 - On 11/18/2009 at 9:32am by blastvortex
(+2)OP that really sucks. Try an oppose the laws, get the parents involved. This is getting ridiculous. Laws like this DON'T stop the people that were doing harm, and are only causing problems for those who have good intentions. It's situations like this, where you had no options, that really make me angry. This is going to be the hardest part of being a teacher, I expect. I think I'll be able to deal with crazy parents, and I already have had situations where I've had to deal with a lot of different kids and teach them. But stupid laws? I have no idea how I'll deal with that.
Sorry that you were put into this situation. :(
#20 - On 11/18/2009 at 9:57am by boatkicker
(-1)Yet another reason not to send my kid to public school. All these stupid rules to protect the admin. and not really help the kids.
#21 - On 11/18/2009 at 9:58am by Punkartmama
(-1)I was expecting to read that the poor little guy had his junk caught in his zipper and you left him that way.
Next time you should lend him a hand or have mom send him to school in sweatpants.
#22 - On 11/18/2009 at 10:48am by CallMeHush
(+2)Unfortunately it is because of parents that over react that these laws become created.
Mom: "What did you do in school today?"
Little Johnny: "Miss Sally unzipped my pants."
Mom: "What!! Oh hell no!"
Then mom calls the school and there is an investigation and before everything gets sorted out, the teacher goes through hell trying to prove that she is not a pedophile. And even if it is proven that she did nothing wrong, she most likely still have other parents and staff watching her because they want to be sure. It's sad. These days we send our children out to spend sometimes 8-10 hours a day in other peoples care. And we expect them to treat these children as their own yet they are not allowed to provide the most basic care that our children need.
OP FYL indeed.
#23 - On 11/18/2009 at 11:16am by buddas_angel
(+3)The administration would much prefer that a few kids wet themselves than a lawsuit from crazed parents. I am inclined to agree with their perspective. Stupid policies aren't just the result of administration. You can bet that behind almost every stupid policy is an even dumber story involving parents, kids, and teachers.
#25 - On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am by cthulhu1138
(+1)There's somewhere in England that's just banned parents from going in the play park with their kids, what are they supposed to do if a kid gets hurt? they can't go in and help them.
And there's also this rule now that you're not allowed to take pictures of your own kids/grandkids etc because other children are around
#26 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:07pm by catatonicsleep
What the hell does that first one protect anyone from? Like really I don't know if I believe that (not saying you are a liar just perhaps was told bad info).
And I am sorry OP that sucks for the two of you, I would feel awful if I was in your place. Whoever is the reason behind that rule go tell them that story I bet they will feel bad.
#30 - On 11/18/2009 at 12:23pm by KarasuFyre
(+1)Makes me happy I grew up in a time before every fucking soccer mom on the planet decided to oppress the system to protect their 'darling little angels' from harm.
(+1)My son's school had me sign a form that allowed them to help him in the bathroom if he needed it. People are getting ridiculous.
(+1)It's crap like this that made me decide not to teach. Teaching, handling children and parents? Fine. Dealing with stupid rules, laws, guidelines, etc? Not so much. The rules try their hardest to make sure teachers are backed in to corners with their hands tied. And that still doesn't protect any one. If this kid decided to take revenge by telling his parents that the teacher touched him anyway, her career would be practically over, and she didn't even do anything! Makes me sick...
#38 - On 11/18/2009 at 2:15pm by Improbability
(0)For everyone bashing America, OP was probably a little too overly cautious, I mean sometimes it's better safe than sorry but come on, no one is going to press charges. (Your defense can be you thought the kid was hiding drugs in his pants... It always works!)
Also every single pair of kid's pants I have ever seen with a zipper also has elastic in the back, so you can just pull those down.
(+3)I've heard of teachers aides getting fired because a kid hugged them. NOT because they hugged the kid, but because they didn't step away when the child tried to hug them, in a school with a no-tolerance-touching policy. The child, a kindergartner, also got in trouble.
#44 - On 11/18/2009 at 3:54pm by boatkicker
(-1)Uh, do we live in the same United States? Heck yeah the parents are going to press charges! Ever hear of that woman who got millions from McDonalds for spilling coffee on herself? Punitive and emotional damages aren't capped, so the parents would have an easy shot at millions. It sucks, but it's true.
#56 - On 11/18/2009 at 7:38pm by Chopperman
(0)I love how everyone is mad at Americans over this. To think: Americans would be so presumptuous to ban touching little kids. Meanwhile, nobody else anywhere else in the globe has ever touched a child...
(+2)I think you've missed the point that America has banned HELPING A KID GO TO THE TOILET, not TOUCHING a kid in "that" way. Most every country in the world has banned "touching" kids. Get it right.
(+2)You made the right
decision. In my community, a teachers aid faced the same dilema. Unfortunately he helped the child. The child went home and told his parents how he was helped. They then took it upon themselves to sue. They lost, but only after destroying the accused reputation and finances.
#46 - On 11/18/2009 at 4:25pm by actionjohn
(0)This is why if you screw someone over you should be forced to recoup their losses however much money you costed them you have to pay it back. That would make people think twice. There needs to be legislation against frivolous lawsuits
#83 - On 11/23/2009 at 2:49pm by dreadkid08
(+1)F your life? F his life for living in our over-PC world..
#47 - On 11/18/2009 at 5:06pm by myinitialsarecoc
(+1)Poor kid. Poor teacher.
I know that such codes are in place for a reason, but there have got to be some limits. What if it was done with another adult - such as the school nurse - present? Or calling the parents to ask permission or ask them to come down to the school to fix the problem.
#48 - On 11/18/2009 at 5:45pm by phantomdonut
(0)i didnt see your post and just said the same thing. I should learn to read better, or not post so late at night.
#77 - On 11/19/2009 at 4:45am by mystic_lily
(0)The only problem with those solutions is the teacher would have to take all that time out of their schedule to call the parents to get permission or a nurse to come watch. Many schools near me no longer have teachers aids so who will be watching the other students while the teacher is trying to contact the parents or a nurse?
#78 - On 11/19/2009 at 3:31pm by fieldhockyluva24
(-3)Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
the kid was probably completely humiliated already. He had just peed his pants, and he had the courage on the trust to go and ask you, a teacher, for help. think of how embarrassing that must have been!! and instead of helping him, you told him there is nothing you could do and let him pee his pants again. if a kid asks you for help, you help them. you are their teacher. it is your responsibility and i hope he never trusts you with anything again
#50 - On 11/18/2009 at 5:52pm by ThUrSdAy13th
(+1)What part of "Forbidden by district ordinance" do you not get. If I were the OP I would of gladly let the kid piss himself if it meant keeping my job.
(0)Know your history. That kind of attitude has led to some of the most horrific scenes mankind has ever seen. Stupid rules aren't meant to be followed. They're meant to be fought!
#52 - On 11/18/2009 at 6:06pm by The_Great_Zucchi
(+1)Ya, great idea. Sacrifice your job and reputation, hey why not spend a couple years in jail while you are at it! Ya, it sucks for the kid, but its the way things are. Maybe he will learn quicker than his classmates that he lives in a fucked up society that refuses to protect the innocent and rarely punishes the guilty. That will give him a leg up in life, and he can start down the road to becoming either a lawyer or a criminal. Hell, in twenty years those will be the only occupations left in our country, if you are anything else you will just be a victim waiting for them to rob you of everything you worked so hard for, whether they do it in court or by breaking in they are all scum.
#57 - On 11/18/2009 at 7:41pm by TooBored13
(+1)If she had "lent him a hand," she would have been fired for touching him there. That was the whole point of the FML, that there was nothing she could do.
(+1)This was supposed to be a reply to 50. The website keeps freezing and posting my comments at the bottom...
(-1)lol i love the people who blame the schools for having stupid rules ...i don't think they wake up in the morning thinkin how can we fuck shit up today ...the rule is to protect the school and its teachers from money hungry parents....and all the people who said she should have helped the kid are dumb unless they wanted her to get fired and unable to regain a teaching career
(-1)I worked at a day care too, and we had stupid rules like when you changed a child's diaper, they had to be standing.
I would have just zipped up his pants. If they gave you a hard time, just explain.
#64 - On 11/18/2009 at 8:38pm by JohnnyOnTheSpot
(+1)I obviously don't know your specific laws, but where I live, there are exceptions to these sorts of rules. Generally we are not allowed to even hug kids, UNLESS they initiate it (in which case you are to give them a quick hug then pry them away) or unless they are injured/very upset, in which case you are allowed to comfort them or assist them. I have a feeling a teacher would be perfectly allowed to unzip a young kid's pants if he was having troubles so he could go to the toilet.
And to everyone saying "serves the parents right for sending the kid to school in pants he can't take off himself", sometimes zippers jam. I have enough troubles with zippers sometimes and I'm 21!
(0)Wow you can't even help a kid off with his pants in an emergency!? Back when I was his age the teacher was allowed to spank us.
(0)i agree with other posters who say couldn't you call the parents and then have someone else in the room as a witness? I understand the kid may not have been able to hold it that long, but at least you could have tried. Or does district policy prohibit it even in cases like that? I agree though FYL for not being able to help the little guy.
#76 - On 11/19/2009 at 4:42am by mystic_lily
(0)guess no one has ever had a zipper jam on them. this is a tricky one though, society has gone that up the shit that this is an all too common scenario.....kids need help with someone but fear prevents an adult from helping but with good reason.
Me personally I would have tried to help in some way or quickly found a male teacher to help.
#79 - On 11/19/2009 at 8:11pm by MissSparkie
(0)#1, not even a (school) nurse would be allowed to touch a child's privates.
It seems like most of the other posters think these kinds of rules are in place because school districts want to protect themselves from the litigation of oversensitive (or as one person put it, "money hungry") parents.
But in my experience when an adult touches a child between the legs in school, it's not because they were helping with a difficult zipper.
Unfortunately the only people these sorts of policies don't actually discourage are the sexual predators, who just make sure you don't talk instead.
This site usually makes me laugh. I resent being taken dark places.
:/
#80 - On 11/21/2009 at 3:50am by invisigoth
(0)Guys, the teach would've lost her job. Kids don't explain well and people don't like to listen for five minutes. They would rather sling accusations and false assumptions around than listen to the truth. When they do listen to the truth then they will not believe it. Nobody take anybody's word seriously anymore.
To all of those who keep saying shit about America. I am proud to live in the land of the brave and the home of the free. I would rather be free than live under constant threat by some tyrannical king. I was brought up on American soil. I will hopefully raise my children on American soil. I will pick up a gun and defend the land that I love because America is my home. We fought for our rights and liberties. Never blaim America otherwise you will find hell upon your country.
(0)Awww poor kid its not fun to be stuck in a zipper. Parents (and people in general) are stupid and thats why we have stupid laws
#82 - On 11/23/2009 at 2:40pm by dreadkid08
(0)In my household, everyone knows that a "school-age child that pisses in its clouts" equals "rubbing child's nose in said piss."
#86 - On 12/06/2009 at 9:29pm by Few_Absolutes
(0)I think it's funny (not in a good way) that people are so afraid of pedophiles that they have to forbid a teacher from touching their child's zipper, but they have no problem dressing their 6-year-old daughter in tank tops and miniskirts.
#87 - On 12/19/2009 at 1:50pm by ChairForce
(0)I'd take him to the nurse. no nurse? I'd call one of his parents explain it and get their permission pretty sure they wouldn't want their sons wang caught and no one helped him
#90 - On 01/14/2010 at 4:38am by brutal_banger
(0)frigan raceist comment saying only in America we are winning this war and stop being so raceist I bet it happens there to
(0)jeez, your not really touching them there. if the kid needs to pee, you can undo his zipper. at least your not acaully HELPING him go pee.
#96 - On 03/19/2010 at 12:29am by 2gether4ever
(0)FYL OP
In my elementry (k-6), we couldn't dye our hair, had to wear leggings w/skirts(even long ones), no flip flops, girls could ony have 2 ponytails. No tank tops at all past 3rd grade. Oh, we also had to walk ON a line. Why? "Beacuse it was destracting the students and would casue bad behavor later in life." I don't the Bo flip-flop rule, but the other rules are dumb.
#97 - On 06/09/2010 at 12:06pm by CandyCanenomer
