Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15974) - you totally deserved it (4783)
On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
I don't blame the kid; pooping in a diaper with the shit pressed against your ass is not comfortable
I don't see how this is a FML. You have a baby if this is the worst that it's done so far you are in for a long parenthood.
Your stupid, in no way is being a mother an FML. This is neither an FML or a YDI. It's called motherhood, if you didn't want to experience things like this you should not have had a child.
"Your stupid." Nice oxymoron, dipshit.
Anyways, the first is arguably YDI. You should have had a diaper before-hand.
The second is. . . unfortunate. Be looking forward to the teenaged years when they get moody and depressed, and start doing drugs! Wait. . .
What kind of mom sets their baby down on their back and then walks away and stops watching them, even if it is for a diaper. It's people like you that give Mississippi a bad name. (to everyone else, I swear we're not all as complainy and ignorant as this woman is)
#60 - On 11/05/2009 at 12:42pm by pancakes_n_syrup
Oh yes, I never take my eyes off my child.
I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't even blink! I make sure that I'm watching him 24/7.
"this is why im never having kids"
you're doing your duty at a member of a species.
you can either live forever or reproduce
First off, we're not animals. We have emotions. People can make choices. They can't be forced to do something they don't want to. We have babies because we want to have a family, not just because it's part of nature. Do you really think people would want to raise bebies when they're not ready for it? That's where homeless people and orphans come from.
Second, it's not EVERYONE'S 'duty' to have children. We don't exist solely to reproduce. It's called a 'society'. Have you heard about the overpopulation problem? People like this can actually be helpful. I'm sure a lot of people would rather live forever than reproduce just for the sake of it.
Like what, A tarp? If you put the infant on a towel or another blanket she would have just pee'd on that and it would have soaked thru to the comforter anyway. Use your common sense people!
Um... like a changing pad. Which is covered in a plastic sort of material. So it doesn't soak through and can be easily washed.
#17 - On 11/05/2009 at 5:23am by caticaticati
doesnt even need to specifically be a changing blanket, you can get normal ones just like that.
i dont have or want kids and even i know that. common sense rusty? yeh, thanks pot.
#20 - On 11/05/2009 at 5:37am by organisedchaos
#10 is right if a baby is makin it their mission to pee on somethin it will summon its super baby strenth and pee right thru shiz. they will pee thru a new outfit or throwup all over your clean shirt after you had just put it on!! lol babies suck sometimes but its just how shit is. and no its not a YDI whether you wanted a kid or not noone ASKS.." oh please baby shit all over the place!! for me please?! " idiots. and to the person who wrote this good thing you dont have a boy cuz they have lil wee's that pee straight into the air lol
#82 - On 11/05/2009 at 8:23pm by kayPandastyle
ahhh...the wonderful joy of being a parent...that sucks, I'm sorry :) I am glad I am not having kids :D
Its just what Kids do...as a mom you sjhould know to put a towel under her if shes on your bed and if shes prone to taking of her nappy she should have had trousers or a vest with the buttons done up at the bottom common sense really
#6 - On 11/05/2009 at 3:29am by Krystakitty
Yep. That's what kids do. If you think this is an FML, you have big, big problems. I feel sorry for that little girl. Mom already resents her.
#104 - On 11/09/2009 at 4:40pm by Professor59
Get used to it, lol. As soon as they are potty trained they'll start in with the wall-drawing, food painting, and make-up stealing. Take it in stride, lol
#7 - On 11/05/2009 at 3:37am by marshmallowmouse
What!? Are you insulting the orphanage? Don't make me grab my dancing shoes and bring it! Hell, you know what, it has already been broughten!
"It's the hard-knock life for us!
It's the hard-knock life for us!
'Steada treated,
We get tricked!
'Steada kisses,
We get kicked!
It's the hard-knock life!
Got no folks to speak of, so,
It's the hard-knock row we how!
..."
#15 - On 11/05/2009 at 4:28am by nokillnobeepbeep
Haha. Ah, the war stories of child care. These kind of things are rather bound to happen. Of course, you're the one who made the kid, so your only real options are to get exasperated at your self-inflicted woes or just bite the bullet and laugh it off. Picking the latter is a little less stress-inducing.
#13 - On 11/05/2009 at 4:19am by blastvortex
You've been a Mum for nine months. Surely you are not surprised? It's just part and parcel of being a parent and it won't last. Every month something changes. Soon she'll be crawling, walking, talking. Treasure it all.
So it can be a bit messy now and then. Parenting babies, toddlers and small children is a delight. It's child's play. But nothing prepares you for your children becoming teenagers.
#14 - On 11/05/2009 at 4:27am by wellinever
And she'll be walking soon. Just think where she can crap then! :p
#18 - On 11/05/2009 at 5:33am by quantum_insanity
its mother hood u dumbass gosh dam really your COMPLAINING and coming here.....
sorry to say this i dont wanna be an asshole but...
YDI in the 1st place for opening ur legs dont complain clean the shit up and move on.
Coulda been worse. Apparently when I a baby and my brothers were left to take care of me, I walked around the house and pooped all over the hallway and living room carpet. One my brother's even stepped in it.
How is this an FML?
This happens to mom's all over the world evry damn day.
#26 - On 11/05/2009 at 6:29am by LilKonvicted
just because it happens to more than one person doesn't mean it's not an fml
#53 - On 11/05/2009 at 11:15am by fieldhockyluva24
Well it does actually, it happens to just about every mother. Your life is not fucked cause your baby pissed and shit everywhere, babies tend to do that they don't know better. Your life is fucked because you apparently can't handle it...
#54 - On 11/05/2009 at 11:54am by KarasuFyre
that does suck, but by the time I was 9 months i had jumped giant holes in my matress and smeared my poop all over the walls. so u got off lucky
#27 - On 11/05/2009 at 6:58am by hotpockets92
Yeah, babies do pee and shit a lot, that's just a fact of life. If you're not used to that happening at 9 months, how are you going to deal with it once the kid learns to walk, run and even worse, climb?
#28 - On 11/05/2009 at 7:01am by C_Wicked27
ydi, for putting this up. it's part of being a parent. i will give a fml for your baby for having a mom like you
This is not an FML. It's just part of being a parent. You really should have that stuff laid out before the bath.
Anyone else find it wrong that she left her baby on the bed alone while she went to get the diaper? A baby who falls off the bed unattended is a FML, not one that goes potty like a normal human!
#33 - On 11/05/2009 at 7:48am by Punkartmama
Aaah. Don't you love kids?! Just wait. They're cute now, but once they become teenagers, you're really screwed. I'd invest in a shotgun for the highschool/boyfriend years. Have fun!
#37 - On 11/05/2009 at 8:39am by skittles1091
This lack of an FML has inspired me to start a dead baby joke section:
Q - What's the difference between $20,000 and 20 dead babies?
A - I don't have $20,000 in my closet.
Q - What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
A - You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline.
#39 - On 11/05/2009 at 9:01am by Brave_Sir_Robin
What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
I cant use a pitchfork on the bowling balls
What's better than a hundred dead babies in a trash can?
One dead baby in a hundred trash cans
:) I love dead baby jokes
#55 - On 11/05/2009 at 11:57am by KarasuFyre
Q - What's worse than a trashcan full of dead babies?
A - One live baby towards the bottom of the can.
Q - What's even worse than that?
A - The live baby is eating its way to the top.
Q - What's the best way to get a dead baby out of a blender?
A - Salsa chips.
#58 - On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm by Brave_Sir_Robin
What's worse than ten babies in one dumpster?
One baby in ten dumpsters.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
Time is nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen at the same time. Babies are nature's way of making sure it does. Baby Blues.
I congratulate you OP for having a baby instead of an animal. ALL HAIL HUMANITY
YDI for expecting your baby to crap in a diaper. How would *you* like to be forced to wear your poop? Your baby is just being smart. Even newborns are fully capable of occasionally using a potty if you give them opportunities. Google "elimination communication" -- give it a try sometime!
Your life is not fucked, if you can't handle this then you are going to go insane when the little one gets to be a preteen/teenager.
#42 - On 11/05/2009 at 9:07am by Inked2009
You have got to be kidding me. Why was this not rejected as an FML? It happens all the time to parents. Deal with it.
#48 - On 11/05/2009 at 10:56am by Scelestus
Guess what, you are a mom. This kind of stuff is going to be happening all the time, so deal with it. You chose to have a child and now you have to handle everything they do.
#49 - On 11/05/2009 at 11:01am by crawfosa89
Guess what, they pee on things for an average of 2 years, and will vomit on you without warning, and make unimaginable messes for the next 6 years or so. After about 6 the peeing should be resolved, and the mess making should diminish, but you may deal with surprise vomit until age ten in some cases. Welcome to parenthood
#52 - On 11/05/2009 at 11:12am by alwaysalady
Actually if it's a baby who hasn't learned how to roll you can put it down on its back on a bed and it will be quite fine, pancakes.
#64 - On 11/05/2009 at 1:19pm by kissthesky
FYL... That baby deserves to die. How can she just do that to you after you carried her and suffered her in your womb for nine months?? That is so selfish, so utterly disrespectful, just plain rude and ugly. I feel for you. You don't deserve a baby like her :(
Its called a changing table! Then it wouldn't be as much of a problem since that's where u SLEEP and all
#67 - On 11/05/2009 at 2:30pm by blue_eyed
Urine and feces in a contained area aren't nothing; wait until she decides to smear her crap all over herself, the newly cleaned white carpet, and your wall minutes before a big family gathering for which you slaved yourself cleaning your home until it was immaculate. Or for her to puke all over you - and I'm not talking about spitup either - I'm talking about the stuff that comes out in yellow and green chunks and smells so bad you never want to see whatever your kid had for lunch again.
And watch, the day she tells you she hates you - all children give their parents that agonizing moment - you'll look back at this and mentally beat yourself up over considering a bit of pee and poop as an enough of a FML moment to actually post it.
Plz allow Mr Brevity to translate this FML for ya;
Today I found out that motherhood isn't easy or clean, just like everyone always says.
No charge for the first one sweetie.
So uh how many times are people going to say "its motherhood" and "wait till they get to their teen years." While both statements are true once seven people say it why does 40 more have too?
#71 - On 11/05/2009 at 3:32pm by cheetahh45
How did this become an FML? It's called being a mom. It happens. Ask any other mom.
#73 - On 11/05/2009 at 4:42pm by weddingbelle09
Wow, you suck as a mom.
Just fucking clean it up. Be a man.
#74 - On 11/05/2009 at 4:45pm by ohmygoodnex
YDI! ALWAYS have the diaper next to you when changing a baby. you need some serious parenting lessons!!
#76 - On 11/05/2009 at 5:30pm by Misschristine90
I wouldn't wanna poop in a diaper either. So, I have to say smart kid. Didn't vote YDI OR FML lol.
#81 - On 11/05/2009 at 8:05pm by cheetahboo2010
lol and it only gets better, my son has taken his diaper off and pooped (or pooped then took the diaper off) 3 times in the past 2 months, while in the play pen while i was getting dinner ready,cleaning or whatever, each time he played with it and smeared it everywhere, one time he also played with the diaper and i had the gel crystals everywhere as well as crap, ah the joys of motherhood, and BTW those who said you are never having kids, i said that too, and well accidents happen lol
are you sure its a girl? he could have an inverted penis..... hahahahahaheheheheheh
#85 - On 11/05/2009 at 11:44pm by Gandalf_Baggins
I feel like it's just time for these "my kid did something gross" FMLs to be retired. Babies are gross. Kids are gross. People are gross. Shit happens. Babies are practically required to pull stunts like this and I'm sorry that it sucks, but you learn to deal with it.
I disagree with people that say this isn't an FML. Having a baby brings multiple FMLs.
#96 - On 11/06/2009 at 4:44pm by guy_on_the_couch
having a baby doesnt bring multiple FMLs, its all just one big FML that goes... "Today, i have a baby. FML."
Maybe it's just me, but I absolutely hate babies.
#100 - On 11/07/2009 at 12:40pm by TedFreakingBundy
omg, I can so relate. mine was about that age when she woke up early in her crib and, without making a sound, proceded to take off her diaper and smear the contents all over herself and her crib. By the time I bathed and dressed her the crap all over her crib had dried so I spent the morning scrubbing it :P
#101 - On 11/07/2009 at 10:18pm by natalies_mom
so... fuck your life because you're a parent. yeah, that kid's not gonna grow up fucked up.
#103 - On 11/08/2009 at 3:28pm by thelegendarystm
Lady..., Get over it... This is only the beginning just wait until the teenage years. Trust me it the terrible two's all over again. My mother still tells stories of when I was the same age as your daughter of how I would play Picasso on the walls with what was in my diaper... XD
#105 - On 11/09/2009 at 10:48pm by Amortifiedperson
I think this qualifies you as a bad parent if you're posting this as a "FML" moment. welcome to parenthood.
#106 - On 11/13/2009 at 10:41pm by Gitsandshiggles
You're an ass for thinking this is an FML. It's called being a parent. The kid's not even 1, what do you expect?
