Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75848) - you totally deserved it (3379)
On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
that's horrible!! i feel so bad for you. hope things work out
#2 - On 03/07/2009 at 8:54pm by tigergirl72
I'm so sorry. If it makes you feel any better, it's nothing personal. She'll forget it in a few days.
#6 - On 03/07/2009 at 8:59pm by thebaroness1984
Wow, you must've really done something bad to make her not even want to be with you. Then again, you're divorced, so one of you did something bad.
That's really crappy, but at least she treats your daughter well. She could be horrible bitch like my step mom.
aggree with #8
my opinion..either you're probabally doing all the things on dr. phils list of the wrong things divorced parents do to thier kids, or daddy is filling her head full of nonsence and new gf is putting on some little act to gain her acceptance and trust.
Put that kid right. And tell your ex and his new girlfriend to respect your role in your daughter's life! They're literally trying to replace you. This is SINISTER.
Oh how horrible - your ex has a girlfriend that is treating your daughter as if she were your own child. This is really going to hurt you in the long run. How are you going to sue him for false cases of abuse when your child actually gets along with her future stepmom.
Just don't be like my mother and never allow your daughter to call your ex-husband's partner "mom" "ma" or anything she pleases. I resent my mother to this day. And please don't listen to these other people saying "choke a b" and the like... that'll only cause more problems.
#18 - On 03/07/2009 at 10:07pm by shadesgodown
I don't think it has much to do with your parenting. The new girlfriend wants to be accepted by your daughter and your ex husband wants your daughter to accept his new gf. There's nothing wrong with refering to both your mother and step-mother as "mom", but since this is just your ex's girlfriend, it's entirely inappropriate. Talk to your daughter and your ex, as well as his gf.
#21 - On 03/07/2009 at 10:20pm by senioritis01
Contrary to the majority, I don't see this as a problem. The kid obviously likes your ex-husband's girlfriend more than you- so what? Do you want your daughter to be unhappy? Do you feel your ex-husband shouldn't have some happiness now you're seperated?
Stop being selfish and think about your girl. Maybe be glad she's getting on since you divorced.
Or is that what's really bothering you? Let me guess- you wanted her to grow up and hate her dad, to be just as bitter towards him as you seem to be.
@ #24 wow lmao don't speak ever again that's not the "proppa" way to write
#26 - On 03/07/2009 at 11:00pm by brittanybritt
#8 and #13. Really? Don't be ridiculous. Divorces are never that simple. The poster could be a fabolous, authoritative parent, and the Dad be completely permissive: that could create a similar reaction on the part of the daughter: as well as many possible circumstance. Heck, they could be watching a movie that night she wants to see.
As for calling her 'mommy.' It's really not up to you. Depending on the age of the child(ren) it's probably inevitable. Be confident in your own parenting. You're still her mom.
I feel that this is just part of the divorce progressing, and life unfolding. A tough moment, in a tough situation.
#29 - On 03/07/2009 at 11:27pm by David_Agnew
maybe it's just the idea of having two "parents" together taking care of her that appealed to her....
oh no! that sucks! i would definitely make sure your feelings are understood by your ex-husband and his new girlfriend. make sure they understand how important it is that you also feel needed by your own daughter. it is very important that your daughter is happy, but it is not unreasonable to think that your daughter could be happy at your ex's house and at your house.
Maybe your ex-husband told her to his girlfriend that. It happens.
#36 - On 03/08/2009 at 12:19am by FuzzMonkey09
It sucks, but really it's not that big of a deal. When I was little I told my pre-school teacher that I wished she were my mother. She doesn't mean it.
Ouch. I'm sorry that must have hurt. But maybe she doesn't know what she's saying. She might not have meant it.
#38 - On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am by Mistress_Puppy
There's always different sides of the story, all I can say is kids tell the truth about their feelings. It's hard on everyone in the family when there's a divorce. Maybe you've found it hard to spend more time with your kid, maybe you and you ex are trying to fight for the kids attention.
From what I've seen, people tend to just think about themselves because they're afraid to get screwed over in legal battles, but it's really not just about you. It's important to talk to each other for the sake of the kid. Otherwise, things like this will just keep happening, you think you're f*cked? Think about the kid caught in between, whose constantly in an environment where she has to chose sides and have to be blamed no matter what she does.
#39 - On 03/08/2009 at 12:41am by asdfqewr
25 is an ass.
so is 5.
this is not a reflection on your parenting.
i remember saying something very similar to my mother when i was younger.
little kids simply get attatched to new people easily.
and thank god she at least likes her.
listen to 21.
#40 - On 03/08/2009 at 1:43am by thebraveolive
Take your daughter, and treat her to ice cream, cookies, and pizza, and spend quality time with her. Sooner or later, she will realize who her true mother is.
#41 - On 03/08/2009 at 1:58am by vigilantechick
Wow, that's cold.
My parents are divorced, both are remarried (both when I was four) and I've always referred to my step-parents by their first names.
Meh the kids I babysit for call me "mommy" sometimes when they want something, plus I'm basically filling that role for a couple hours and they don't really understand the difference. Not that "mommy" is arbitrary, but I think when you're young it's kind of a blanket term for adult women.
#44 - On 03/08/2009 at 4:10am by omgkittenslol
That has got to hurt :/. On the other hand, I've heard it's quite common for children with divorced parents to call a stepparent "mommy" or "daddy"... On the bright side, that might show she gets along with your ex-husband's girlfriend and it's a good thing for her, she's not going through the "evil stepmom syndrome." I think it's especially normal/common if she's still a small kid. Also, maybe she simply said that because she had stayed there a long time and felt adjusted to things. And maybe she doesn't usually call her "mom" but only did as a form of emotional blackmail to you, because she knew it'd hurt you :/.
#25: I also think this isn't really a problem, but that's a cruel way of putting it, that must hurt and I don't think this is selfish to say so (unless she starts pressuring her daughter etc, but we don't know about that). It's not nice to think divorced women are bitter, selfish etc.
#18: Ouch :/. That's selfish of your mom alright, and that's some sound advice.
That is horrible!
But you should be happy that she likes the girl if she didn't then that could put maders way worst. I agree with someone above me if your ex told her to call her that then thats kind of wrong but if she chose it still doesn't mean she likes her better.
#21 i agree with u all the way
#47 - On 03/08/2009 at 8:08am by orangeninja
People, I'm not saying you should hate your stepmother/stepfather.
But THIS brokes a parents heart.
Seriously.
#48 - On 03/08/2009 at 10:46am by need_cheese
My sister used to call my stepfather "dad".
It's... weird...
#49 - On 03/08/2009 at 10:49am by need_cheese
that's what happens when you put your in the position to be replaced.
#50 - On 03/08/2009 at 2:02pm by know_your_role
If you don't want her calling the girlfriend mommy, tell her that it's hard for other people to know who she's talking about and suggest that she call her something different, like Ma'am, or Mom, or something. Make it sound practical. as tempting as it is, you don't want to guilt trip your daughter, or she'll pull away from you further.
#51 - On 03/08/2009 at 3:09pm by alwaysalady
wow, fuck her. the girlfriend i mean, not your daughter. you should ask just what the fuck she thinks she's doing.
Aw. that's horrible. you should definitely try having a talk with your ex husband about this. I hope everything gets better.
#55 - On 03/08/2009 at 6:31pm by lexybaby61
Aww =(
well, if your daughter is really young, i can tell you from experience that the only reason we decide to favor one person over another at a young age is pretty much how many toys or fun things the person buys/does with us. but when we get a little older we realize who we truly love and appreciate, and can differentiate that from whoever spoiled us more.
#57 - On 03/08/2009 at 11:15pm by airplanefood
Sounds like you have a lot of work to do to make her into the Jordan Brown you are craving
#58 - On 03/09/2009 at 1:37am by collardgreens
im sure your kid isnt saying it because your a bad parent or anything of that nature. You're the mom, so you probably discipline and all the things a good parent should do. The new girlfriend is probably letting the child do as she wants and as she pleases. Therefore winning over YOUR daughter. No worries the new GF is probably just a rebound anyway
I wouldn't think too much into. Little kids don't differentiate between adult women in their lives. My little nephew who is 2 calls me mommy all the time, and my sister-in-law understands he doesn't mean anything by it. Kids know who their parents are, and let's face it: if you ex-husband marries his girlfriend, she's going to be her mother, too. Just remember you have a stronger connection with your child than anyone else ever will.
#25 you're an ass. It's not that fact that the daughter called her mommy, since she's probably little and doesn't really know better. It's the fact that the daughter was clinging to the new girlfriend and saying she didn't want to go with her WHILE calling the new girlfriend "Mommy".
Anyway, this one broke my heart, but she sounds like she's little so don't worry she probably won't remember it later. Daddy's new girlfriends will come and go, you are her mother forever and always. As long as you spend time with her and treat her well, she'll always acknowledge that. No one can love her like you. No other woman can take your place.
#62 - On 03/10/2009 at 5:30pm by Not_a_fairytale
it happened to me too! =) not exactly the same but still. when i was little i was left with my godmother and when my mother came i did exactly the same. young children have very short memorry that's the problem. and i as the one who forgot who MY mother is can assure you that there's nothing to worry about=) it doesn't mean that your child likes/loves that woman more than he/she does you.
#64 - On 03/13/2009 at 12:53pm by pamishootia
#25 you are taking this way too seriously. yes the girls should be happy, but that doesnt put aside the hurt feelings that the mother has, even if it IS the best thing for the girls to get used to the new gf. (i'm not saying it is the best though).
#65 - On 03/14/2009 at 1:14am by fmlisamazing
I'm sorry.
people are replying meanly sometimes.... my parents got divorced and we have a new gf in the family dynamic.... but my other parent lives across the world so it's not so bad... it's not that i love the new gf more or anything i adore my dad, he's blood. but he's not around so he's less a part of my life on a day to day basis. i love him as much as ever and your daughter still loves you. don't worry about it. I used to call my nanny in nigeria mama matilda. and in many african cultures a older women are all referred to as mama and sister and aunty.... it's just a thing little kids do some places.... it's natural... so no worries.
Don't worry about her comment, children don't know whats good for them. I'll bet everything I own that you're a better parent than she would be, so don't worry about it. Keep being a good parent and don't let this incident make you think that you need to be nicer or less harsh when it comes to punishment. Keep being a good parent and she'll be better off.
I would have asked to speak to my ex privately immediately & would then commence to set up boundaries about who is in fact his daughters mother. That kind of bs is not ok. You don't deserve to suffer through that.
#69 - On 03/22/2009 at 9:45pm by StormySkys
Agreed with #11. :( But honestly, you should talk with your ex. He most likely started putting those thoughts in her head, what to call her and such.
25 - Obviously you've never been a parent and I rather hope you never become one. It's not a matter of whether the kid likes the OP or the ex's girlfriend more, it's about who the actual mother is. A mother is a mother whether the kid likes it or not. Don't be cruel, and don't jump to idiotic conclusions because that's how divorced women are often portrayed on TV.
#72 - On 04/05/2009 at 12:55am by mistress_friday
Dude that sucks! ): Hope you get everything worked out alright...
DAMN. I would be pissed.
"mommy"
WTF?
#73 - On 04/07/2009 at 10:00am by academicdinosaur
omg im sorry i would never in my life call my stepmother mommy and im 11 so i have a long live 2 live i feel reall y bad maybe u should have a talk with her
#74 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:28pm by tizzle1051
omg im sorry i would never in my life call my stepmother mommy and im 11 so i have a long life 2 live i feel reall y bad maybe u should have a talk with her
#75 - On 04/08/2009 at 4:30pm by tizzle1051
Who the hell does she think she is telling YOUR child to call her "mommy?"
You bore that baby, she wasn't there for the child birth.
She just one of those bitches that just wants to play house.
This whole thing is just a game to her.
Don't talk to her about it because she hates your guts and
is ready for a fight. Trust me, those kind of girls think through
what to say to make you feel like shit.
Talk to your ex about it tell him that if you ever hear your
daughter call his bitch that again, he'll have to pick up his
bald bitch off the ground.
Urrg, that makes me so mad.
i am a new gf of a man with a little boy, and i resent your comments. Just because she isn't the first wife doesn't mean she just wants to play house. i truly dont believe it is the wife's place to judge the new gf. And being the new gf does not mean you automatically hate the exwife or are out to turn her children away from her. You seem really bitter either that or ignorant
I feel so sorry for you...
you must have been heartbroken. Hope everything has gotten a better.
#78 - On 04/18/2009 at 7:10pm by goldenApple
Divorces suck trust me my parents have been divorced since i was three the not wanting to go home thing means she is tired of splitting her time and she will grow out of it and at least she gets along with the woman unlike me my dad is getting married this summer and i am 16.
I honestly would blame the father, my mom tries to get me to treat her boyfriend like a father.
What I'm saying is it's more likely that your ex is pushing for his daughter to see her as a mother figure instead of her ACTUALLY seeing her as a mother figure. Because she's young, and her parents just got divorced she's waaay more vulnerable to believe what her parents say.
So please, kill your ex.
that sucks i bet ur ex husband told her to do that to get u
#86 - On 06/20/2009 at 10:03pm by tina_xox
You ought not to blame the father or the girlfriend, people. I highly doubt he told anyone to do anything, I know plenty of kids with split parents, it's natural for them to like one household more then another.
It's natural for her to call someone else mommy in a divorce. She may think the girlfriend has been a better mommy then you, or has been around her more. IDK the situation, but I know divorceses aren't clean and they aren't easy, especially for the children.
You should be happy that your daughter excepts her. My mom married a guy I didn't like. At all, which really sucked. I wish she had married someone I felt comfortable calling "Dad".
Quit being selfish. You're still her mother.
you think the father's new gf's attempt at buying the girl's affection is natural?
"Quit being selfish." wow. just wow.
and why the fuck would you even consider calling your mother's new husband "dad" anyways?
#90 - On 08/20/2009 at 4:06pm by thecoldhardtruth
some people on here are just dumb talking about she deserves it she was going to pick up her kid an imagine her face when she heard her child call her
ex's girlfriend MOM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!
i am speaking from the perspective of a new gf, and you need to realize that that is a hard position too, especially if it's a serious relationship. By having your daughter call her mom she is not trying to usurp your position, she knows that you are the mother. And you can not blame the "i don't want to leave" comment on her without knowing the entire situation, ask your daughter why she said that, did you ever consider YOU may have done something?
