loveyouson
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Copenhagen, Denmark
Steady on, son
Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML
Top comments
perdix 29
Pump your milk and feed it to him through a bottle. The next time that little bastard is going to see ******* is if he buys dinner first, or dials up some Internet ****.
Shrouds 14
Time to get the little bitter some bottle service.
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Comments (192)
Chaa05_fml 12
Be glad he isn't a vampire !!
n3rdzgotskillz 29
I think I'd rather have someone biting my neck than my nipple. Circumstances differ, however.
lilhellian 26
19 I've had someone tell me they want me to bite their ****.. Lead to some wierd convos but..
StalkerChick 13
25- Did you do it??
sens3sfailing 24
My ex liked it when I did that to her. It obviously was very light, but it can still be a turn on I guess.
lilhellian 26
She wasn't the light n easy kind of chick..
lilhellian 26
By the way the answer is no.. I just know her well enough...
happle 21
I personally wouldn't be turned on if my baby bit my nipple. Boyfriend, yes, infant, no.
MuseFan1991 14
this thread is slightly disturbing me
t_fml 11
Is ur boob deflated? WTF?
betty_white 12
that's when you know its time stop
shadowPlayer 6
Like hell! Breast feeding is the best thing you can do for a child. That's when you teach him not to bite before he gets the rest of his teeth.
N3766 20
My mom pushed my face to her breast so that I couldn't breathe and stopped biting and then continue breastfeeding me (That's what she said).
happle 21
That sounds like it could kill you. ._.
TheDrifter 23
Teeth are a sign the child's body is ready for a solid diet. Or are you one of those nutballs with the six year old that breastfeeds?
saksxalmo 20
#26, I don't know many children who get their first teeth at age six.
annie_nk 22
26 - I know many babies, my own included who got teeth at 3 months. The earliest a baby can have baby food is 4 months.
etchsanity1 11
36 that was the point of 26's comment that when teeth show up you stop breast feeding unless you are going to continue it well past the normal point
Mookiisfabulous 15
Idiots, do some research before commenting. Teeth has nothing to do with introducing solids, babies don't learn to eat until they learn to sit up and can do it on their own. Your not suppose introduce solids until 6 months old or show signs they want to Try solids. It's actually better for babies to continue breast feeding until age of one and WHO recommends until the age of 2 if the mother and baby are comfortable to do so. Yes, I do breast feed and my daughter is 11 Months old.
betty_white 12
just because i suggested OP stop breastfeeding doesn't mean that i think OP should stop giving the baby breast milk, you can pump the milk so that you don't have to deal with chewed up nipples 54 - don't you think its kind've rude to call people idiots ? and your baby is probably starting to talk, it may even be walking already ... maybe you will be one of those nut jobs with a 6 yr old still breastfeeding
jizzwold 21
I like how 85 goes from saying, "Don't you think it's rude to call people idiots?" to suggesting that she is a "nut job"
annie_nk 22
54-I was told by a pediatricians and breast feeding consultants that a baby can have baby food or cereal at 4 months if they show interest. Don't go assuming we don't know what we're talking about.
DocBastard 38
The only idiot here is Mookiisfabulous. You can give solids to babies whenever you're up to trying. We gave our son solids at 3 months and he gobbled it up, and now he eats everything. Get off your sanctimonious little rampage and realise that you do NOT know everything about child rearing.
kennaem1 11
How old is he? He's 48 months!
saksxalmo 20
#101, doesn't it still make more sense to wait longer if you're unsure (as many people here apparently are)? I mean, the cons of feeding a baby solids before it's ready are the risk of choking (and death, pneumonia, whatever). What are the cons of breastfeeding for a little longer, during a period that the baby isn't even going to remember? It just seems that the latter would be preferred by "better safe than sorry" parents. Nothing wrong with that.
daisy2101 7
No baby no opinion! Not really.. but it's truly every mother and baby to their own, no one has any right to slam someone as a nut job because of their beliefs. It has nothing to do with anyone else
andrew6p 19
#103, that was in "Grown ups" right? :p
gordogirls 4
Good on ya! I bf all my kids my son is 14 months tmro and I have just been weening him this past week!
shadowPlayer 6
Normal? The world breast feeding weaning age is 4-7 years old. While that may not be 'normal' by your standards it still doesn't mean that you automatically cater to the kid. While they're young is a good time to start teaching not to bite. Not to mention that you shouldn't for w a child to wean before they are ready. It's true that you can start introducing baby cereals and soft foods, but they get more than food from breast milk well past a year. Also, pumping possibly hurts just as much and detracts from any bonding between the parent and child.
AndOtherDrugs 5
101 She actually said at six months or when the baby is showing signs that he/she is ready. You're statement wasn't contradicting hers so calling her an idiot was out of line.
mod3rator 2
The only one thing that can completely support life is breast milk. Babies are better off drinking breast milk, (pumped or unpumped)
Shrouds 14
Time to get the little bitter some bottle service.
Trai 6
I know that little bitter sounds better because it rhymes, unfortunately one t will suffice.
Shrouds 14
"t"* If your going to be a jackass, at least make ur comment legible.
klutz44 28
And "your" not "ur"
diversgal 9
Ahahahaha! Brilliant!!
katties 27
Ouch... From what I've heard breastfeeding is S&M enough already, without the biting - girls I know have said you get really sore.
ZombieSnoopy 9
I'm sure she's not having S&M with HER CHILD!!!!
missyj0 12
both your profile pictures are of shoes, I find this amusing.
katties 27
This is what what kind of comments happen when you come straight from the "Fifty Shades of Grey"-FML in the middle of the night *sigh* -_-'
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
don't let him ruin the funbags!
howdeedoo 22
Funbags? That's a first...
naya_bingi 11
Pretty sure their purpose is to feed a baby. The fact that they are used for more than that comes second.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
well...my joke was taken the complete opposite way it was meant to. sorry about my lack of....sensitivity on the subject? didn't mean to offend lol :/
asherm 15
I got the humor. Didn't offend me. Mine certainly aren't being used for feeding babies!!
diversgal 9
Mine are for fun!!! Baby didn't want them!! :)
zombieslayer83 19
He just likes nippling, I mean nibbling on things.
david008 4
Give him a hot pepper. Hel think twice about biting anything else
Iknoweverything 29
That's actually ILLEGAL and I hope you're joking. Feeding small children hot peppers or putting tobasco sauce on their tongues is considered ABUSE.
wlddog 14
Sounds like someone doesn't know how to handle kids.
PenguinBitch 43
He's a freakin baby, you think he'll think twice about it? Wow.
ttqq 7
Wasn't that an episode of neds declassified school survival guide?
ICastillo 24
Bite him back so he knows how it feels. My mom's dog bit me once and I bit that bastard back, he never did it again.
cliffibom 15
The **** kind of parenting advice is that?
ZombieSnoopy 9
He's too young for that!
perdix 29
Pump your milk and feed it to him through a bottle. The next time that little bastard is going to see ******* is if he buys dinner first, or dials up some Internet ****.
lilhellian 26
But phones no longer have a circular dial...
sunkissedluster 20
Who said anything about a CIRCULAR dial? o_O
TheDrifter 23
What newfangled madness do you speak of? No dial? Blasphemy!
perdix 29
#16, no one under 60 has ever really "booted up" a computer, but we use that term anyways. And what you would dial would be phone sex, where you wouldn't be seeing *******, just hearing them. Spoiler alert: The phone sex lady is not really flopping her ****, he or she is just slapping an uncooked rump roast down on a granite countertop.
lilhellian 26
23 I doubt that man.. How do you think I got hearing aids...
Catkam623 27
Spoiler alert the phone sex lady isn't actually rubbing her nipples shes just rubbing two quarters together. (No I'm not trying to steal perdixs comment I'm trying to start a chain of spoilers since the first one made me laugh)
greenwich1945 13
Gosh that sounds very painful...if you still want to feed him breast milk you could buy one of those pump things so you can transfer it to a bottle and feed him from that. I suppose it's not as intimate but at least he's still getting all the goodness!