Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you totally deserved it (58660)
On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)
i still wonder why people don't take more precautions when there's a possibility of someone being around who could potentially walk in on you...
you definitely 100% deserved that one
Whats with people and not locking their doors? Or do it like the old days and drive somewhere
#9 - On 04/04/2009 at 9:59am by llSgtScopell
For every door, there's a key. But no one could ever control hormones :)
#11 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:01am by Charlene
I'm with #7 & #9. When I was a teen and living at home, people rarely got caught. When they did, it was either the class idiot or really extraneous circumstances. Although in your case, I'm suggesting it might be the former.
If you're still living at home, lock the door or have the patience to keep your pants on until you are positive nobody else is around.
#12 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:02am by UrLifeDoesntSuck
why dont people lock their doors on this site?
honestly half the fmls on here are a result of not locking the door
either way, did Grandma give you proper pointers after?
#14 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:04am by TheAntiComment
Lol, I'm supprised you didn't give her a heart attack =P
#15 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:05am by 666midnight
BS... I don't believe this for a second. She hung out long enough and has enough composure to tell you what she was going to say. I doubt it. I declare shennanigans.
#17 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:10am by IcanCthroughU
So do you don't say goodbye to your gradma before she leaves to go back to another city?
"Oh, I think she's gone. I mean, I haven't said bye to her or anything but lets just go to my room and go right at it without locking the door anyway"
Honestly, abstinence is quite stupid.
Sex isn't bad, people make it seem bad though.
#22 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:30am by Commentator
Maybe her doors don't lock? Mine don't back at home. She didn't do anything wrong, her grandmother is just old-fashioned. I don't get why she deserves this.
#25 - On 04/04/2009 at 10:46am by Callyn
#26 - there are plenty of doors in this world that don't lock. for example, my bedroom door at home does not have a lock on it. I don't see why everyone's saying "what kind of person doesn't lock their door?" because not everyone has locks to every door in their house. just sayin'
her grandma could have knocked or something, though.
lol @ 6
abstinence is cool if you want to, it's a choice YOU make; not others deciding for you :)
#29 - On 04/04/2009 at 11:12am by who_rollerpig
#26, the sort that is painted over, has had the key lost, doesn't have a locking mechanism, etc.
#30 - On 04/04/2009 at 11:13am by Callyn
Doggie style is where its at yo! Keep up the good work!
#32 - On 04/04/2009 at 11:17am by Floridaguy81
i'm with the other commenters...who the eff doesn't take ANY precaution before fucking your boyfriend, ostensibly in your grandmother's house or at least before you checked at all that she was out of your own. If people would have some rudimentary level sense once in a while, a whole host of lives would go un-fucked.
regardless whether she could or couldn't lock the door, it's not like a shuffling old lady couldn't be spotted in the house with a simple glance around it. not to mention her CAR was obviously still there.
The Grandma deserved it. Whats with walking into rooms without knocking? And I agree with #8. Shes still living in 1950. That's kinda weird she would tell her granddaughter that she needs to keep her virginity.
see what im thinking, if she thought grandma left already, then sex would be more intense, maybe making her a little loud in bed, you would think someone woulda heard her before entering the door, but since its grandma, she could have bad hearing, or not?, or still wanted to go in and check things out.. lol sucks on ur half though.
oh and some doors don't lock, which is unfortunate.
i wonder what her face was like... hahah
I think elders need to evolve their ways of thinking.
...Telling someone abstinence only is okay.... there's going to be a lack of education there.
The minute I hit puberty, my mom told me that she was not going to get off my case for a while with boys (meaning bedroom door open, no boys when she's out of the house), but that when I wanted to go on birth control, she'd let me, no questions asked. That's what a responsible guardian or family member should do, because abstinence isn't the norm nowadays. Now that I am finally sexually active, my mom doesn't ask and doesn't tell, because she knows I'm educated.
Just saying. Get outta the past, Grandma.
#40 - On 04/04/2009 at 12:10pm by liveitlearnit
I don't know it's just the way this FML is phrased, but it sounds fake to me...
#42 - On 04/04/2009 at 12:30pm by strawberry_78
Obviously your gran never learnt how to knock, if the door can't be locked. And if it could, didn't it occure to you to maybe lock your door.
Next, you thought you were alone, check next time.
Even with lubricant, doggy-style sounds like it would still hurt. .
Anyway, for all you know she was probably doing a lot more than you were now at your age
@47 - doggy-style isn't in the ass, it's vaginal sex in a fun position.
Holy fuck, you people are dense. Even if your door doesn't have a lock on it, you can still prop it closed with a chair or something. Jesus you people need to be creative.
#49 - On 04/04/2009 at 1:31pm by UrLifeDoesntSuck
#1 ur obviously an overweight virgin whos never gonna get any
HERES TO EQUALITY
ull never hear grandpa tell me to keep mine ha
#50 - On 04/04/2009 at 1:47pm by diet_cocaine
@50 - If grandpa walked in on you, he'd probably give you a high-five.
#52 - On 04/04/2009 at 2:16pm by UrLifeDoesntSuck
i think this is stupid. for a few reasons:
1. you thought your grandma had gone home...? she lives in FL... and you didnt know for sure? wow, you sure are a wonderful granddaughter.
2. if the door doesnt lock; even a mom who is invasive will usually knock. a grandma who doesnt even live in the house and is a visitor would most def knock! i mean, she would probably still come in and you would still get caught cause you cant cover it up that quickly but.. still.
and finally,
3. why the fuck are you having sex in your room that doesnt lock. if you live wth your parents (which it sounds like you do), you should wait until nobody else is there or find a door that locks! i garuntee there is somewhere in your house where you can prevent people from coming in. especially since some one in your house thinks you are still a virgin...
just wow.
#53 - On 04/04/2009 at 2:18pm by screwed_up
To everyone saying her door doesn't lock...okay, maybe it doesn't. But if you know your door doesn't lock, you better double and then triple check to make damn sure no one else is around before you have sex. So, you deserved it.
But doggy style is fun, and at least you were getting laid.
#54 - On 04/04/2009 at 2:19pm by lnm701
can't even make your grandma proud on her last day.
shame. ;|
#55 - On 04/04/2009 at 2:29pm by OMIGODNOWAI
So the second grandma leaves you're getting fucked in the ass from your boyfriend?
Idiot. You deserved it.
I love how people are using this site to trash abstinence and "backwards" ways of thinking. There is nothing wrong with making that kind of personal choice. Whether or not you agree with what the grandma believes is irrelevant to the OP. This girl deserved it for not making sure she had some privacy.
#60 - On 04/04/2009 at 3:19pm by synchroskater
Abstinence is a choice only you can make. Since I don't ever want to get married, it's not one that is right for me, a comprehensive sex education is better than abstinence only education anyway, jut tell them that they can choose to not have sex, too.s
Man...some of you people look into these things way too hard considering you don't even know if they're true or not...
#53!
#63 - On 04/04/2009 at 3:44pm by Floridaguy81
Doors come with a lock for a reason..like, um, privacy?
#66 - On 04/04/2009 at 4:18pm by SallyRagDoll
oh hohoho that's hilarious. sorry for you. ignore all the people who are snarky and imply sex is bad thing (?). your grandmother deserved that for teaching you a bad message. virginity is not virtue
#71 - On 04/04/2009 at 6:22pm by explodingplant
Gotta ask.......
WHHHHYYYYY DDDDOOOOOOGGGGGIIIIIIEEEE-SSSTTTTTTYYYYYLLLLLLLE!?!?!?!?!
you deserved it for that reason and that reason only. D:
#72 - On 04/04/2009 at 6:24pm by madalou2012
Some people don't have locks on their doors. I don't, and I honestly don't really know anyone that does...
#73 - On 04/04/2009 at 6:31pm by fueledbyamy
Her grandma is "backwards" for not wanting her granddaughter to have sex? Oh yeah, because EVERY grandparent wants to know their grandkids are doing it.
I think the OP is being really disrespectful here ... I mean her grandmother made it clear that for some probably good reasons, she wanted her grandchild to honor abstinence. And OP can't even keep it in her pants for like a day? Really?
Abstinence until marriage isn't backwards. Society has just degraded to the point that sex isn't respected or important anymore. It used to be the ultimate confirmation of a relationship, saved for the people that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now it's just "oh yeah, i'll fuck all the high school or college boyfriends i have!!!11!1" Waiting just makes it so much more special ...
And yes, the abstinence 'til marriage thing is outdated. It actually has always been outdated. People are finally loosening up and realizing it's a normal part of being in a relationship in larger numbers.
Not that it wasn't unwise to end up in the little situation the OP ended up in, but having a sexual relationship with someone you're involved with is quite normal. That's not a degradation, that's an advancement in society. The uptight ones are finally becoming the minority.
Thank god for healthy sex lives actually being the norm these days. Why buy a car before you test drive it?
it's so great that people aren't taking sex as seriously anymore. spreading aids and SDIs is way more fun than just waiting to have sex with someone you care about.
moron.
#147 - On 11/12/2009 at 5:17am by afrbrunette
79 - "Why buy a car before you test drive it?"
Marriage/relationships aren't all about sex, which is what you're implying with that metaphor (the entire point of a car is to drive it).
It's not an advancement in society to lose the intimacy and importance that comes with sex. Having it become more and more normal for younger and younger people has led to increases in teen pregnancy and STDs (although that's mostly because irresponsible people don't use birth control). But mostly what makes me sad is the loss of sex as the ultimate culmination of a relationship. Like I said before, it's just so much more special if you wait for the person that you are totally emotionally committed to before you commit yourself physically.
#80: I made no such implication. I'm sorry you do not understand the analogy. The analogy could relegate the sex life as one little nagging feature that drives you crazy about the whole experience of driving the car; say, perhaps, the seat just doesn't conform to the way your body can comfortably hold a position, or you prefer RWD to FWD, despite everything else about the car performing the way you want it to.
It's turning a blind eye to reality to try and pretend that sex is NOT a part of a relationship. Relationships are complicated and multi-faceted. It's stupid to ignore one very important facet of it and just hope it works out. Why gamble on a roll of the dice for something as important as who you're choosing to marry? Finding out you can't have a satisfying sexual relationship in conjunction with an emotional and platonic relationship can really cause a hit in the intimacy department of your relationship.
I find it incredibly shallow to think that sex is the ultimate culmination of a relationship. I think the ultimate culmination of a romantic relationship is the complete development of trust and faith you develop in your counterpart. That's where the real challenges in making a relationship work are.
# 53 I second reason one and three but number two depends on how much privacy your family gives each other. My mother never knocks and I've gotten walked in on by step dad (although he made sure to knock after lol!) in my room getting changed. When I stay over at my grandmas condo she not only will come in and go to the bathroom while I'm taking a shower but will rearrange things and such! When she comes over my house she will leave the door open while she goes to the bathroom. So my grandmother wouldn't knocked. But then again I wouldn't be having sex with the door unlocked in any position!
"Today, I told my 14 year old granddaughter how important it is to not have sex until she is married. She told me she agreed. Ten minutes later I found her having sex doggy style with her boyfriend, and I had a heart attack. FML"
81 - Sorry about the culmination comment. What I meant to say was that sex is the ultimate physical culmination of a relationship, and I think that it should only come after the emotional culmination, i.e. you should only commit yourself physically when you are ready to commit yourself emotionally. Since sex is the ultimate physical commitment it should only come when you really and genuinely love someone else and can see yourself with them for the rest of your life. When you really can visualize that, then I think it would be okay.
It's no "gamble of the dice" to stay abstinent until marriage. If you really love someone it only makes sense that sex with them would be satisfying, since sex is, in essence, about a relationship and so half the enjoyment is mental (no, seriously). I know plenty of couples who waited until marriage, and they are completely happy - my entire family, actually. My parents waited. Their marriage has been amazing for 25 years. I've seen them fight once in my entire life. There are many, many more examples I could give, but you get the point.
Having sex in high school, even college, makes no sense to me. Your brain isn't even fully developed until around age 21. I don't understand how you don't think it's a loss of intimacy and importance (of sex) when it's become "normal" to do it a few short years after hitting puberty, with a guy that you will probably not end up with. I don't see why it's so hard to wait until you're older.
You're an idiot. And you were clearly dishonest with your grandmother, too. Do you feel good about lying to elderly people who love you? I wouldn't...
#84: There's more to sex than just emotion. In fact, emotions are stirred by sex itself, both positive and negative. You're right that half of sex is mental. That other half is pretty damned important. You can be quite in love with someone, but if you can't line up physically (and the only way to find out is the hard way), you're going to withdraw into a platonic relationship because you will slowly feel like the intimacy is missing from the relationship.
On a more personal note, it doesn't sound like you have much room to lecture me on what makes sex satisfying. I've dated a lot. I've had strong relationships, I've had weak relationships, and sex *always* introduces a new dynamic when you become physical. The last thing I want is to get married to someone and wait to find out the hard way how that new dynamic is going to affect our relationship. Like I said, I don't want to put such a huge decision to a roll of the dice, and no one should.
I can very obviously see that you lack a lot of understanding in sexual issues, so I don't know why you bring in "I don't understand why someone would...". The logic of saying "sex is the ultimate physical culmination, therefore you should share it with someone you've established yourself emotionally with" is arbitrary. Why wouldn't it be the other way around? Why would you put the physical, easy part on the pedestal instead of the significant stuff that actually makes the relationship? Why does that make more sense than saying "a complete trust in your partner is the ultimate emotional culmination, so you should only share it with someone you have established yourself physically with"?
Arriving at the conclusion that sex should be saved as being special requires that you start with the assumption that sex should be saved as being special. Circular logic is bad logic. Your logic is circular logic.
Sex isn't important because it's sex. It isn't sacred in itself. Sex isn't important because you put in on a pedestal and never do it and make some moral issue of it. Sex is important because of the relationship. You're doing it backwards.
86 - Wow. Way to judge. Just because I think that sex is really important does not mean that I don't understand sexual issues. Just because I believe that sex is mainly about a strong relationship does not mean I am "doing it backwards".
My logic isn't circular. My statement that "you should commit yourself physically only when you are ready to commit yourself emotionally" can't be used backwards because in a relationship emotions almost always come before physicality, i.e. which relationship is more likely to work out - a girl and a guy date for a while, care for each other, then get physical, or a girl and a guy hook up before establishing a relationship? Obviously that was a sort of extreme example but you get the point.
Yeah, being physical with your significant other is important. But there are ways to be physical and learn to understand each other's body without having sex. The point is that sex used to be highly respected, and so when people finally engaged in it, it was so much more special and increased intimacy so much. There's something romantic about being each other's first - it's another experience that you go through together, and you take that plunge because you love them. Nowadays, sex for many people is trivialized (obviously this doesn't apply all the time - but I mean that it lacks the significance it used to hold, to the point that often it means very little). Especially in younger relationships, it's often used as a substitute for emotional needs, a coping mechanism of sorts.
I remember reading a quote about some woman's sex experiences somewhere ... it was like "What if I did share with you, and then found out I didn’t love you. So then I met somebody else and had deep feelings for them too, and so then I shared with them. And then I met somebody else and I just kept on sharing and sharing and sharing”. So much that it doesn't become as important anymore. It just shows the emotional desensitization of reoccurring sex without real intimacy and commitment.
You didn't respond to the second and third parts of my other post? Everyone in my family has waited for marriage to have sex. And they all have wonderful relationships, and most importantly, they all tell me how grateful they were that they waited. Like it or not, when you sleep with someone you form some kind of emotional connection to them. And waiting to share that tie with only the person that you truly are in love with is so amazing.
Your brain isn't even fully developed until around age 21. How is it not a loss of intimacy and importance (of sex) when it's become "normal" to do it a few short years after hitting puberty, with a guy that you will probably not end up with?
#6 got it, ROFLOL
That wasn't so bad, you got sex didn't you? =D
#88 - On 04/05/2009 at 3:24am by braFTW
I didn't respond to your testaments about your family because they didn't matter. I'm sure you know people that have had it work for them. I do too. I also know people who haven't had it work for them. Anecdotal testimonials are meaningless. I ignored them instead of calling you out on it.
When your brain is developed is irrelevant. Normalcy is subjective. How does it matter if you end up having sex with someone you may not end up with? That's how you learn.
The fact that sex isn't as respected as it used to be is not necessarily a bad thing. Putting things on pedestals only leads to people understanding them less. There's nothing romantic about being each others' first. My first girlfriend and I had that. We waited a long time. Then there was the first time. It was awkward and kinda gross. Neither of us knew what we were doing. It sucked. And yes, your statement does work in reverse. In order for it not to work in reverse, you have to start with the assumption that sex is some sort of special thing you put on a pedestal. Hence the circular logic label. You're still doing it.
Sex between people is trivialized when it's a trivial relationship. But the same people may split and find other people who they can have a stronger relationship with. And the sex in that relationship won't be as trivial.
This whole "sex is trivial these days!" thing only comes from a lack of understanding. Having sex doesn't make sex trivial. Having trivial sex makes sex trivial. Having sex with someone you love isn't somehow more meaningful because you don't have a damned idea what you're doing. Of course, preaching this to you is like describing Mozart to a deaf person, so I really can't make any headway here. Learning about such things doesn't happen this way.
I blame the parents these days.
I understand that most of the time the only way to do shit is when people are home, but lock the door or something! Geeze!
#92 - On 04/05/2009 at 1:31pm by wat_the_eff
ever heard of a lock? hahha, that sucks. what did she do???
#93 - On 04/05/2009 at 1:54pm by tinkerbell67
reminds me of the FML where the girl got a purity ring from her dad for her birthday and then was caught that same dy having sex with her boyfriend. ahaha
#94 - On 04/05/2009 at 2:37pm by wotchersarah
I think we need more judgmental people in society, not less. We need to laugh, point fingers at, and ostracize people like this girl. That will teach her to quit being a little whore.
89 - Anecdotal testimonials aren't meaningless. The point of them was to show that it isn't a "gamble" to not have sex until marriage. There are other ways to be intimate.
Awkwardness usually is part of sex the first few times. Doesn't mean it sucks, just means you're baring yourself, awkwardness and all, to the other person. Awkward sex at first doesn't ruin a relationship unless said relationship is pretty shallow.
It matters if you sleep with a lot of people because sex is about love, and it should be shared with the one person that you choose to love for life. Yes that statement works backwards in the sense that sex should be shared with your husband/wife, but AFTER a commitment like engagement or marriage, because like I said before, in a relationship emotions almost always come before physicality, i.e. which relationship is more likely to work out - a girl and a guy date for a while, care for each other, then get physical, or a girl and a guy hook up before establishing a relationship? Obviously that was a sort of extreme example but you get the point.
That isn't circular logic, to assume that sex is something special. Sex IS special. Do you really not think that?
Sex is trivialized when you do it with a lot of people because it's a very intimate act - you're sharing so much of yourself with the other person, emotionally and physically (or most of the time, but I think the triviality of one-night stands is obvious so I won't go into that). So do you see how it makes it more special, intimate etc. when you only share that with one person rather than spreading it out?
lol. Now we're getting into the whole "sex is about this, because I wish it were about this...".
Anecdotal testimonials ARE meaningless. If you insist on them carrying some meaning by declaring that you have demonstrated that it isn't a gamble to wait by an anecdote, then I will prove by anecdote that it *is* a gamble (by just saying "nuh uh, I know someone who did wait, and their marriage fell apart in a year, therefore you are wrong").
Awkwardness is part of the first few times, yes. And it's not because you're "baring" yourself. It's because you don't know what the hell you're doing. You're right, the first awkward sex doesn't ruin a relationship. But that doesn't take away from the fact that this fantasy of the first time being so romantic and nice and all is just that: a fantasy. If the sex life never improves, it will wear away at the intimacy of the relationship over time... which goes back to my original point, one that it seems you are slowly coming around to recognizing.
Sex isn't just about love. Sex works well with love. Maybe that's what you meant. You're doing the same thing you were earlier and arbitrarily declaring that the emotional side of a relationship *must* come before the physical side, but not showing that you have any cause for believing that other than an equally arbitrary declaration of "after a commitment". Why after a commitment? Why commit yourself to something you haven't even found out is going to work for you? Like it or not, the physical part of a relationship is important, and gambling that it will work out is just that... gambling. Even if you know someone that has been lucky enough for the gamble to work out for.
But that has nothing to do with sex. Anything can be special and intimate if you share it with only one person. If I decide I'm only going to eat ice cream with my wife because it's something we enjoy immensely and keep it personal, it can be "special, intimate, etc". In order for you to consider that sex is special and intimate through your logic, you must assume beforehand that sex is special and intimate. Your. Logic. Is. Circular.
Sex is trivial if you do it in a trivial fashion. Having sex with one person does not affect the "trivialness" of the sexual relationship you have with someone else any more than it would be as with any other act. Special sex is special. Only because of the people making it so. Sex that isn't special... isn't special. It's not inherently special. You've been brainwashed.
doggy-style + door-locking = win
doggy-style + no locky = Grandma Fail
#100 - On 04/05/2009 at 10:18pm by balanceMMX
Dude ... sex IS about love, and it IS special. How can you deny that?
As for the anecdotes. Fair enough, I'm just saying I have never experienced anyone who waited and then got divorced for the sole reason that their sex life wasn't good enough. On the other hand I have witnessed countless happy couples who waited and said it was the best thing that they ever could have done for their marriage.
As I've said like 3 times, there are other ways to be intimate without actually having sex. You can learn about your partner's body and physical needs in multiple other ways. So you would know that your partner's body responds well to yours. Sexual adjustment comes more from communication than it does from technique. And to get into anatomy, the human sex organs are actually insanely adaptable.
It's just a fact that the emotional side of a relationship almost always comes before the physical side. I don't know why, but it does. That's why you date someone before having sex with them, if you want an actual relationship.
When you have sex with someone, you share a bit of yourself with them, establish a connection. It's biologically designed to establish that emotional connection because it's biologically designed to make children and have the parents raise them. The inherent purpose of eating ice cream with someone is not to start a family. That's why sex is inherently important.
Maybe I do put sex up on a pedestal. But that's because that's where it belongs. If you want to flip my statement backwards then fine. You don't share the emotional level of commitment you do with your husband/wife with other people. Why would you share the physical commitment?
Human's aren't really so different from other species on this planet. Sex is fun, and it keeps the species going. You only think of sex as "forbidden" or "special" if you also buy into the bullshit that humans are somehow "special." If that's the case you have more serious problems than a skewed take on sexuality.
Oh and I can't resist: Cyxx, "you're puttin the pussy on a pedestal man!"
Haha 103 - "humans aren't really so different from other species ... sex is fun"
Did you know that humans and dolphins are the only species on this planet that have sex for fun? Every other species does it for the sake of having babies. Which is kinda my point, you should have sex when you're ready to have a baby and take care of it with someone. Which means commitment.
LOL, at all the idiots trying to write 4 paragraph essays on why being a whore is OK on fmylife.com. Just admit it, you people are idiots.
"Dude ... sex IS about love, and it IS special. How can you deny that?"
Because I live in reality. It's whatever you make it. You can create a "connection" with someone and share a little bit of yourself, but you do that in everything you do. Sex is no different.
The inherent point of eating ice cream isn't to start a family, you're right. It's to get a quick jump of energy that your body can store easily. That's why you eat ice cream, right? Or have we evolved beyond that?
I think we've evolved beyond not only that, but many of the most basic instincts we have playing out as survival instincts. Some of us just have to wait for people like you to catch up to the the rest of modern society.
I'm not against the having sex part. But if your grandmother/parent/whatever gives you a talk about not having sex, don't lead them on! Just tell them that your views are different and that there's nothing they can do about it. Being upfront is always the best policy.
#109, there certainly is something they can do about it. Kick your ass out of the house. We'll see how concerned you are about having sex when you are homeless and hungry.
No one will kick their kids out for having sex. Well, no one in their right mind. They'll just lose their little fantasy world about daddy's little pristine girl.
If a kid does not follow the rules he/she should be severely punished. If they have sex against their parents wishes, then the parents should cut them off. That will teach them. Just maybe a parent with a little life experience realizes that teenagers having sex is not a good idea. I know that fmylife is full of degenerates who think that sex should be done as much as possible for fun. My stance has nothing to do with religion, so quit giving me that tripe. It has everything to do with the fact that casual sex is for the weak.
Until you are 18, you are your parents property. You don't have the freedom to do whatever you want. You will do exactly what your told or you will be punished.
And speeders should be locked in prison. That'll teach them.
How is casual sex for the weak? If anything, not having casual sex is for the weak who can't handle separating feelings from physical because it's too much thinking and emotional maturity.
Your reality must be pretty damn sad if sex is really no different from anything else that you do.
Obviously I wasn't saying that the *only* reason to have sex is to start a family. I said that starting a family is sex's inherent biological purpose and that's why it is in itself a more important act than eating ice cream. To some extent that purpose still applies today, it has nothing to do with "evolving beyond" sex as an important commitment to your partner and possible start of family until artificial insemination or some other way of making children without sex becomes the norm. I mean, no sh*t sex is more than a baby-producing act, but it's still an act of great commitment.
And I like how you responded to all of two points that I made.
As for the 112/113 comments, I don't know that I totally agree with eoh42, but casual sex is not a sign of emotional maturity and thinking. In fact, totally the opposite - going out and hooking up with some random person requires absolutely no thinking or any kind of maturity in the least. It's waiting and making a responsible decision that actually takes some responsibility and thought.
113: What?
114: Agreed.
OP: Really? You "thought" she left? Your door was unlocked? You're pretty stupid. YDI
OK cyxx, listen sex can be meaningless, you can have loveless affairs for only physical pleasure. BUT when you have sex with someone you truly love it is a special thing that goes far beyond that of loveless sex. HAVE SEX before you comment on it lots of people have sex for the physical pleasure but again when you do it with someone you love you can easily distinguish it and it doesn't lose any importance.
#116 - On 04/07/2009 at 5:53pm by joejoehanson
cyxx, you really only made 2 or 3 relevant points. I responded to them.
I like how you're taking a shot in the dark at which one you think is more mature and requires emotional stability. But on that one, you're just off. You don't have a clue what you're talking about, but there's no way I can explain it because you just don't have the life experience or the objectivity to reach the understanding.
It's not *my* reality. Sex is just like everything else in the universe in that it is what you make of it. It's not inherently anything. Just as life is what you make of it. Your life isn't awesome and important just because you're alive. It's up to you to give it meaning.
116 - "when you have sex with someone you truly love it is a special thing that goes far beyond that of loveless sex."
Perfect, that's exactly what I'm saying, that you should wait for that specialness with someone you truly love and are committed to.
117 - It would be nice if you could make an actual argument here rather than saying that I'm "just off" and "don't have a clue". Thanks. Anyway. I'm not exactly sure what you're calling a shot in the dark - if it's about the casual sex requires maturity thing, what are you talking about? It's totally the opposite - casual sex requires NO thinking whatsoever. Nada. It's why so many hookups happen when people are drunk, and they regret it after when they've come to their senses again. Getting physical isn't exactly hard. What requires maturity is the ability to stop and think and be responsible with with your emotions and your body (do you know how easy it is to get STDs from casual sex partners? ... yeah. very.)
Oh, now who's not living in reality? Things have inherent meanings, purposes, and connotations from society and inner morality whether we like it or not. Granted there are some differences for different people, but there is some extent of unity in human thought, and the importance of sex (or at least sex that is beyond just physical pleasure) is one of those things. Sex isn't "just like everything else". It is inherently meant to start a family and form an emotional connection. It's a physical accompaniment of the ultimate emotional commitment you make to your life partner. And you share both that physical and that emotional commitment only with the person you really love.
As for the "life experience" and "try it" thing, for both 116 and 117 - Just because I have never, say, tried heroin, doesn't mean I can't understand that I should stay away from it. (Before you start dissecting this, I KNOW that sex isn't a bad thing that you should probably not try ever, whereas heroin is.) And yeah, because you're SO objective yourself, deja54.
Define "inner morality". And what's the source?
Also, yes, you can get STDs from casual (or not casual) sex partners. If you're stupid.
And yes, I'm objective. You're demonstrating why you're not.
Inner morality? I guess our inner voice that tells us what's important and what's not, what's wrong and what's right, etc. I realize that society has changed an incredible amount in history, but the importance of sex as an act of love has remained pretty constant.
You're more likely to get STDs from casual sex partners because you don't ask them about STDs or they lie to you about it. Most forms of birth control don't do anything about STDs. Many condoms don't either - only latex ones work, and not for all STDs. So the more you have casual sex, the more likely it is to develop an STD - nothing to do with stupidity other than the stupidity of casual sex in the first place.
How am I demonstrating why I'm not objective? I looked at the issue, I took a position. Seems like you're doing the same thing.
Why you gotta describe what position your in? just say you were having sex. You gave me a mental image in my head and now I have a raging boner at work. THANKS A BUNCH! FML
i'd laugh if your grandma posted on her " Today, i waisted my time giving my grand daughter the abstinence speech. I walk in her room to tell her how proud I am of her keeping her abstinence to find her doing it doggy-style with some guy. FML." i feel bad for your grandma for having to see that. haven't you heard of locking the doors when your doing it? just wow.
Cyxx, you're right on dude.
Everyone else, take an opinion for what it is. I agree with Cyxx because it is something that deserves to be cherished.
I also agree with posters AGAINST Cyxx, as it is true that in the modern world sex has lost its meaning to a point where it has become a pasttime.
Sex is what you make of it. If you wanna go and hook up every day and if that's what makes you happy then go right ahead. None of us will judge you.
If you feel that abstinence is the way to go, then more power to you.
Things like marriage originally existed for the purpose of permanently uniting a man and a woman. Then someone decided to approve divorce. In the modern world nothing is the way it was meant to be. People get married drunk at Vegas and then split up in a week. Others wait until they're 50 to get married.
Things like marriage, sex and abstinence no longer hold the same ideals that they once did.
Yes, I am "sitting on the fence" for this one, but this is how it is and you can't deny that. Various opinions exist, and there is no reason that anyone should be ragging on anyone else for being abstinent or for someone being a total sperm dumpster (excuse the rude term), if you will. Society has grown to accept it all, there are gay marriages, 3 ways going wrong, people having 10+ kids, 60 year old virgins and anything in between.
Everyone is right because in this day and age there isn't a wrong answer. Go do whatever makes you happy, just as long as it's not judging someone at the expense of their ideas, morals and beliefs.
Poster..... YDI
#125 - On 04/13/2009 at 4:16am by furi7
shut the hell up with the holier than thou shit.
it's funny.
get over it D:<
she didn't put it up here for you guys to have a moral arguement.
and #125 I believe the term is CUMDUMPSTER D:
#127 - On 04/14/2009 at 9:32am by madalou2012
A little self control until grandma left town would have prevented this. And how'd you know she wasn't just saying "bye"? Even after she walked in, did she still proceed to tell you how proud she was of you waiting until marriage?
lol at #127. I know when I act holier-than-thou, it is because I am. I am better than you. You will have to learn to deal with it. The reason you get mad when people like me act like we are better than you is because you realize we are right and you are wrong. It must suck to know that you are living a life of gross perversions. Eww.
#129 - On 04/17/2009 at 3:24am by betterthanthou
lol at #127. I know when I act holier-than-thou, it is because I am. I am better than you. You will have to learn to deal with it. The reason you get mad when people like me act like we are better than you is because you realize we are right and you are wrong. It must suck to know that you are living a life of gross perversions. Eww.
#130 - On 04/17/2009 at 3:24am by betterthanthou
Holy Shit!!!!
life with grandma will never be the same
#131 - On 04/21/2009 at 12:00am by brizzibri217
HAHAHAHA wow!
people are sooo stupid!
i was the #1 comment and i said "i guess you should have listened to grandma"
haha i love how idiotic our world is...
omg that's fuckn classic!!! omg how funny!!!! sucks for your ass haha jay kay
#135 - On 05/09/2009 at 4:28am by ifuckenhateyou
You know, her room might not HAVE a lock. Mine doesn't.
#136 - On 05/12/2009 at 7:06pm by cmillertime7
ohhhhhhhh its 09 what what what A LOCK!?! buy one if u dont have one? YDI.even if u think ur home alone still LOCK the door
#138 - On 05/27/2009 at 3:48am by zomgsandisk
she thought she was safe, and a lot of houses don't have doors with locks on them or ones that work.
cut her some slack, VERY embarrassing position and not really her fault... FHL
#140 - On 06/03/2009 at 12:04pm by nofeckingfair
Man that must have been awkward. -_-
I mean still hillarious, but I wonder what went through her head. :P
#141 - On 06/11/2009 at 1:33am by HteaXtrainC
YDI for being so rude you wouldn't see your Nana to the door and wishing her farewell.
#142 - On 06/19/2009 at 5:56pm by amazingkate
Omg... do I know you? O_O
Anyway, that must have been TERRIBLY embarrassing. And if your mother's name is "Gena" and you're who I think you are...... I'll go cry for you.
#143 - On 06/25/2009 at 8:00pm by AmethystxRose
my door doesn't have a lock. I always put something heavy in front of it whenever I'm going to do anything private though. Be more careful.
#144 - On 07/08/2009 at 2:40am by beaandbunny05
wow. this is one of my favorite FMLs because it is just so funny and ironic. all i can say is... hahahahahahaha.
favourited, followed and YDI! FYL! talk about AWWWWKKKKWARD! o_0
#146 - On 08/31/2009 at 8:59pm by FuckMyLyphe
