Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69473) - you totally deserved it (4543)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by linren (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Oh, that sucks.
One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching porn. Once.
._____.
#2 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:03pm by rockandrollbf
At least your bf trusts you enough to tell you something like that. He was hoping to confide in you guess you cant keep a secret and be supportive. I hope he finds someone who is willing to work through his problem with him.
#4 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:04pm by SomethingNew71
hahaha aw. That sucks. I don't understand why he was so paranoid about it, it's a natural thing to do. :/
#8 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:12pm by McLaughlane
suggest the Dutch Rudder to him... that way you can both be involved
#9 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:12pm by UhOhImF___ed
I agree with #1. I think he was just playing the pity card, making you realize how "sensitive he is".
a little road head will go a long way. maybe he will forget about masturbation for a little while, or while you're performing said action, he'll run the car into a tree and you'll accidentally bite off his dick. either way works
I don't understand why this is an FML?
I don't think that is a bad thing.
#14 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:18pm by breaksprinter_
lol im surprised he didnt pull over and do it right then and there
#16 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:20pm by yeahreally
It's nice that he trusts you about something like that.
But if he literally talked about that for 2 hours...something's wrong.
o.O Just stay alert with this relationship.
More like a FHL, since he doesn't have a girlfriend who's willing to sit and listen to him spill his guts and talk about his problems. If it bothered you that much, you should have said something instead of whining to the internet.
For all of you saying that this girl is a bitch - Note that this is a NEW boyfriend. If I'd just started going out with someone, and he gave me a detailed, two hour lecture on how he is addicted to masturbation, I would be incredibly uncomfortable. Really serious conversations and confessions like that should be saved for when the relationship has become a bit more intimate, or after you've been going out for a while. And for two hours? Holy crap. I mean, I've had confessions from boyfriends before, and I'm okay with them talking about sexually explicit stuff, but after two hours I would feel so awkward.
Don't be so quick to judge.
#21 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:47pm by bioclock
I laughed so hard at this I peed my pants a little.
I feel bad for you, but telling everyone who reads FML is kind of...bitchy. Hope fully "Linren" is anonymous, or her boyfriend does not read this site.
Maybe if you were better in bed he wouldn't have that problem!
OOOOO FYL again!
#23 - On 03/28/2009 at 6:55pm by mikemanray
Masturbating is natural. If your boyfriend trusts that you will understand his addicting then that means that he cares and likes you.
If he's your boyfriend, you should care about him enough for this not to be considered a FML. Show a little compassion.
#26 - On 03/28/2009 at 7:12pm by Freak_Feet
Wow, he sounds like every male human being in the world. Congrats on this mind blowing revelation.
For the record, I just jerked it twice while reading your FML. Addiction? Nah
#28 - On 03/28/2009 at 7:23pm by forthelulz
#28 "For the record, I just jerked it twice while reading your FML. Addiction? Nah"
premature? Yeah
#29 - On 03/28/2009 at 7:51pm by kwbuzz23wk
there's a difference between healthy, regular masturbation and an addiction to it.
starting off the new relationship by saying she won't be able to satisfy him because he's addicted to his hand sucks for her.
poor OP.
Addiction to masturbation? no way! its a lifestyle that you should be proud of! I know I am
#31 - On 03/28/2009 at 7:53pm by que
It depends. Some people view it as "cheating" while others don't. I think overall though, some men find it difficult especially in America where sexuality is frequently shown, but rarely talked about openly.
#33 - On 03/28/2009 at 8:14pm by NorfolkDude
Good for him, though, probably waiting a bit into the relationship might have been a good idea, you did say he was new :P
#34 - On 03/28/2009 at 8:24pm by ameinzinger
This is NOT a FML, way to be supportive, why didn't you just say "i'll do it for you" instead of wasting time writing up such a SHIT fml.
This is the part where you help cure his problem by giving him head while he is driving and have sex with him when you reach your destination and then f*** him 4 times a day for the next month. That should solve his problem
#37 - On 03/28/2009 at 8:49pm by dkcc1988
Addiction to masturbation? That doesn't even make sense. The only thing that's wrong here is your boyfriend's shame over a perfectly natural act.
#38 - On 03/28/2009 at 8:49pm by walloftext
there's nothing wrong with masturbation.
maybe you can masturbate with him. hahahaha
#41 - On 03/28/2009 at 8:58pm by Shroomsteroo
You're a bitch.
You should totally accept him, and just listen to him.
That's actually not that bad. ...
You should offer to help him out, haha :)
So I'm confused did he talk about his addiction for 2 hours, did he mention it at the start of the trip and make an awkward car ride, or was he just saying that for an excuse to masturbate during the car ride?
#43 - On 03/28/2009 at 9:12pm by alucardrules
Wow, sounds like you won't be supporting your bf with his problem. And good job putting his business all over the internet. You're a real winner.
Guys should be aware that not all women are going to be supportive or understanding. I think this one should be categorized under FYBFL.
#45 - On 03/28/2009 at 9:44pm by bigcrazymike
Addiction is a serious thing - it's much deeper than "I like to do it all the time". He trusted in you when he confessed. You are a bitch for a, not taking him seriously and b, posting this on the Internet. I don't care if this is anonymous.
#47 - On 03/28/2009 at 10:03pm by UrLifeDoesntSuck
LOL. New boyfriend!! Not the right time for such a confession. Especially not while stuck in a vehicle for a long time with someone!
the drive was 2 hours long i bet the actual conversation was a little shorter, OP is a bitch and he was probably running out of things to say to her from the pure arrogance she emits
@49, he probably made it up when he realized what a mistake it was to date her.
#50 - On 03/28/2009 at 10:19pm by UrLifeDoesntSuck
This happens all the time. Some men get addicted to porn or something, then they get married, and it never resolves itself. The fact is, it's an addiction and many men have problems with it even though they're married. I've known people who been married for 20 some years, and the men frequently view pornographic materials. It's a very hard habit to break and it isn't "natural." The addiction is in line of OCD and many men feel the need to discuss it with their significant other but usually the other is not very supportive or understanding of the problem. It isn't about the other person, but rather a personal demon that is very hard to get over.
However, they do have a support group just for this behavior. If you seriously have addiction to porn, they do have group meetings with therapists that you can go to. It consists of like minded men and you just talk about the addiction. The goal of the group therapy is that most men feel ashamed of their addiction and by talking about it out in the open and finding that others have the same problem, they sort of stop the behavior because it is no longer "wrong."
To the person who made this FML, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. It was probably very hard for him to tell you about it, and if you dump it for it, that's up to you, but I'm sure it would cause a serious defeat to his self-esteem as well as continue his addiction.
#54 - On 03/28/2009 at 10:36pm by NorfolkDude
I agree with #1. Sounds like he was trying for something.
#56 - On 03/28/2009 at 11:00pm by TheNameless
So, is this "new boyfriend" your "new ex-boyfriend" or what?
#58 - On 03/28/2009 at 11:26pm by luvable_loozer
ok chill out people that are calling her a bitch, she said this was a NEW boyfriend. i agree with everybody that said this was a little early in a relationship for that kind of admission. i mean, who wouldn't feel a little awkward after that kind of thing and you're sitting in a car for 2 hours...
and #54, no need to preach so much. it's fmylife.com not...something else that's more preachy
#60 - On 03/29/2009 at 12:22am by SilverBullets210
I still don't understand what is so bad about masturbation and why some people see such a problem with it.
Some women are just as "addicted" [if you will] to it as men are. Masturbation is not a bad thing. The only thing that I could see as "bad" about it would be if he masturbated too much the day you two decided to have sex and he couldn't get it up.
And I agree with 54, it really probably was a blow to his self-esteem for you to consider this an FML.
But this is all a matter of opinion.
#61 - On 03/29/2009 at 12:40am by breaksprinter_
So, tell him to shut up. At least he was trying to be honest with you.
#62 - On 03/29/2009 at 12:50am by wat_the_eff
...Wait...
So girls complain that there are no emotional guys who communicate...
But they also complain when they find exactly what they complain they lack?
Honestly, I hope he dumps you; you don't deserve him.
YDI for not telling him to shut up,
YLIF for having him as a boyfriend.
#65 - On 03/29/2009 at 1:47am by katiekaite
What's with all the bitch comments? Does no one notice the fact that she said NEW boyfriend except those 4 or 5 comments defending her? Honestly, who spills out all their darkest, deepest, disturbing, uncomfortable secrets right when they first start dating? That's just screaming for the other person to run away.
When you first start out dating someone, people generally show off their good points to impress their partner and keep the awkward, weird stuff for later on in the relationship. It's just the same with first impressions. No one's gonna tell their whole life story to someone they just met 'cause they'll never talk to you again since you made it so obviously awkward and uncomfortable for them.
#66 - On 03/29/2009 at 2:05am by mini_munny
That's a legit problem and shame on you for thinking your life sucks for something so intimate and personal as him trying to talk to you about something that he has been battling. He was hoping you'd understand and be supportive, as this was him giving you an immense amount of trust. He's clearly more mature than you are and doesn't deserve someone who will dismiss this as a FML.
my b/f likes to jack off alot to its normal and healthy even if it is a little more then whats acceptable trust me if a guy has a girl he really loves jacking off wont be the same anymore and hell stopp
#68 - On 03/29/2009 at 2:12am by lola_noone
^ That's complete nonsense. Guys jack off even when they are in long-term committed relationships. It's completely different from sex or anything sexual that involves your significant other.
Nothing wrong with liking Palmela Handerson. Who doesn't?
#69 - On 03/29/2009 at 4:47am by forthelulz
well thats a real problem, compulsive masturbation is a real psychological issue that is very embarrassing. you should be glad he told you instead of trying to keep it from you and you finding out the hard way.
#70 - On 03/29/2009 at 6:24am by Blobenshnogen
OH MY GOD! THIS EXACT THING HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!!!! No joke. I was like ... :| ...
#71 - On 03/29/2009 at 6:28am by RockieGirl
I'm with #19, he probably build up a lot of nerve to tell you.
#74 - On 03/29/2009 at 10:33am by littlefrog
@#8, #20, #23, ..., #69, #72: There's a difference between "jacking and being ashamed of it a'cos Jebus sez so" and an addiction. An addiction crosses into "I want to stop but I can't" and masturbating as a response to loneliness/etc, to the detriment of other parts of your life.
See http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Masturbation-Addiction , I looked at some other results on google but this was the first that wasn't a thinly-veiled "if you were in holy matrimony with a proper Christian baby cannon, you'd never need to sin."
i agree with #4
don't be a dick about it. he has a problem and he's confiding in you and asking you to help him
that is really rude that you are posting this on a website
does he happen to be the hPuerto Rican singer who recently joined the half-mile club?
#78 - On 03/29/2009 at 11:29am by yep_me_again
put out for him so he doesnt have to beat his meat soo much
#81 - On 03/29/2009 at 2:59pm by ludachrisZ
All these "put out so he doesnt do it anymore" is all crap, you don't just substitute an addiction. Besides, maybe it's a bigger problem if it interferes with his intimacy with a partner or if it starts to interfere with other parts of his life. I agree that it's normal for all guys to do, I know my longterm bf does and I don't care.. it's good for his sperm quality for when we actually want kids haha.
For a new bf though, that would be crazy awkward to talk about!
well at least next time someone says hes having sex with some1 else youll know its his right hand
#84 - On 03/29/2009 at 5:30pm by wow_just_wow
GIVE HIM ACTION MUCH>
mast= LONELY
.
Oh ya I forgot girls have 0 sex drive... .. No wonder u don't understand :D
#85 - On 03/29/2009 at 7:05pm by xsouldeath
GIVE HIM ACTION MUCH>
mast= LONELY
.
Oh ya I forgot girls have 0 sex drive... .. No wonder u don't understand :D
SERIOUSLY OFFER TO JACK HIM OFF IS THE BEST IDEA.
UNLESS UR A DOLL .. THAT HE PAMPERS AND SPEND all his cash on..just for you to let him suffer.
You are torturing him with INACTION.
be a GIRL. Or you might as well be his GIRL WHO IS A FRIEND instead of a girlfriend.
Or say "YOU have my permission to get action from any girl" .. Or get him a hooker. If you're not going to please him yourself.
#86 - On 03/29/2009 at 7:07pm by xsouldeath
All the people who are saying the addiction will go away when you have sex with him have very little understanding of the word "addiction."
People who are addicted to masturbation don't just masturbate a lot. They have almost no control over the urge to masturbate and will do it several times a day, sometimes in public restrooms because they just can't suppress the urge.
This INTERFERES with regular sex, and often those with such an addiction cannot maintain or GET an erection during intercourse because they've already masturbated so much that day.
They can't say "I'm going to have sex later, I should wait," "I'm in school, this is inappropriate," or "I'm chafed and barely even aroused," because they're ADDICTED to it.
A smoker can't say "this is bad for my lungs, I won't smoke anymore."
A drunk can't say "it's 11am, I won't drink."
A crack head can't say "I just sucked another guy's dick for a drug that's killing me, this is wrong."
It just doesn't work like that. There is a real problem here, and all you can do is post "eww gross" on the internet when the poor guy TRUSTED YOU. I have no sympathy for you. I don't care if it's a "new" boyfriend, the first step is admitting you have a problem, and when it comes to a sexual problem you're going to tell your significant other, because your parents may punish you and your friends may laugh at you.
thank you!!! I had all that same stuff to say, but I would have been bitchy about it. you were waaaayyyyyy nicer than I would have been.
#116 - On 03/11/2010 at 2:29am by aliibaibii
duck and roll. it can't be THAT bad to jump out of a moving vehicle XD
#94 - On 03/30/2009 at 5:01pm by mon_e_mons
so he vents to u and instead of telling him how u feel or even telling him to stop talking u write about it in an fml- what a great girlfriend u r
All guys masturbate, ALOT, so don't freak out, even if they don't talk about it they do it, ALOT
#100 - On 04/03/2009 at 4:56pm by Dbackkick4
About two months after my husband and I started dating, he confessed the same thing to me. He thought I wouldn't want him because of it. Be kind about it. If he wants help to get over the addiction, support him. If he doesn't, let him be and decide if it matters to you. Either way, let him know he's not alone.
#101 - On 04/06/2009 at 11:23pm by SweetNevada
I like #101's answer but...2 hours? I probably would have through myself into traffic
#102 - On 04/07/2009 at 1:41pm by yesbutnotyou
This poor guy needs to get counseling for his issues with sexual shame and get out of whatever fucked up religious group brainwashed him into thinking there's something abnormal about a guy needing to jack off.
#103 - On 04/08/2009 at 5:19am by kisekileia
Doesn't he know there isn't anything wrong with masturbation? OR maybe he was trying to hint at you not satisfying him sexually and felt like being extremely cryptic.
#106 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:28pm by normandin131
Who cares? Masturbation happens. You should reassure him instead of posting an FML about it, because really that's not much of an FML.
#107 - On 04/24/2009 at 10:19am by PrettyVal
What's his problem? Compulsive masturbation? That's not a problem, it's a free stress reliever! It sounds to me like his problem is stupid women who will never understand the beauty of what it is to be male.
#109 - On 05/12/2009 at 1:02am by EnochDravenHyde
#110 is an idiot for breaking up with her bf for denying he masturbates. And to the OP: FHL for not having a girlfriend that is not willing to listen to him without posting about it on Fmylife.
whats wrong with being addicted to masterbation everybody has done it at least once or twice but i shouldnt be tiping this cause im addictd to it to oh hell its 2 int the morning so ima go
I'm sorry but to me that's really hot, if that was my boyfriend I would have told him to whip it out and jerkoff off right then and there in the car while I watch.
