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Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (38942) - you totally deserved it (4879)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

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Anonymous's life also sucks

lolreturn also deserved it

Comments

Hahahaha xD

#1 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:48pm by TheFadedGuitar

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

HAHA! Totally agree, #1.

YDI for referring to a cat, a living being, as "it!"

#59 - On 08/16/2009 at 9:07pm by realggirl

To scare all cats assume the doggy (style) pose

#60 - On 08/16/2009 at 9:16pm by unkinged44

# 60 is an epic winner!
Hell even the OP is a winner when it comes to sense of humor!

#62 - On 08/16/2009 at 9:25pm by metheonlyb

#59, if the cat is neutered (as it should be), then "it" is the appropriate pronoun.

#66 - On 08/16/2009 at 10:21pm by mattmag

LOL 60. lolol

#79 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am by myfishisBOBA

great one hahahaha i agree with you

#86 - On 08/17/2009 at 4:17am by outcast_qurl

LOL xD thats more funny than the OP xD

#98 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:45pm by sf_killer

SECOND!

#2 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:49pm by KumoFF7

Second place - the top-class loser.

#10 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:03pm by SimpleSimon

Seconds the best, man.

#18 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:18pm by KumoFF7

"First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the polka dotted dress." doesn't apply here.

#26 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:49pm by dinosaursmoo

hmm i've heard hairy chest and treasure chest but never polka dot dress

#48 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:03pm by klutzywriter

Hairy chest?! BAHAHA :D

#52 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:58pm by dinosaursmoo

KomuFF ur my favorite troll

#58 - On 08/16/2009 at 8:57pm by cherrypieguy

Same here. Never heard of the dress one. Cats are beautiful, I so would've done the same.

#88 - On 08/17/2009 at 4:25am by Kiwi_Splash

Sorry man, but that's hilarious!

#3 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:49pm by Renan

That's too fucking funny. Seriously, the last sentence is the best thing ever.

#128 - On 02/20/2010 at 1:25am by bridgette5866

Is it just me, or have there been a lot of FMLs about cats lately?

#4 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:49pm by doubleAbattery

yeah you're right..

#55 - On 08/16/2009 at 8:38pm by kenny22

Phrased perfectly. Nice goin'. I bet she's BI...afterall, she likes pussy-cats :D

#5 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:49pm by spidergirl41

Hahaha, I was gonna reply with "That's what you get for wanting a second pussy in bed."

#72 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:48pm by dudeitsdanny

was this the cat from the cockblocked by another pussy fml?

#6 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:52pm by penizulaface

so.. you really take that?
I'd slap her or throw her out.
you're at her place?
go home.

#8 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:57pm by skaffz

You sound really lame.

#32 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:14pm by lmmmr

jerk

#44 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:55pm by liteupthestage

You should teach the cat to guide your cock, not block it.

#9 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:00pm by natsumosam92

hahahaaha!! Good thinking!

#11 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:04pm by lacho95

Cats have sharp little nails and they are evil and like to destroy things... not good for cock-guiding

#22 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:37pm by thugbert

@9: LOL

and buddy, it was a superbad reference
thugbert=fail

#31 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:14pm by canucksrule88

#22 win

#63 - On 08/16/2009 at 9:34pm by Rouge_Plague

Well....if you're into beastiality you could do a threesome...

#12 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:06pm by Anonymus7

what...the....fuck.....?

#42 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:49pm by ChildrenOfFilth

some people actually do that.... its gross....

#105 - On 08/17/2009 at 8:02pm by Anonymus7

I hate cats.

#13 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:07pm by SH1V3R

She did the right thing. Seriously, my ex and I were mid-fuck when her cat decided it wanted some attention too. Ignoring him just got him more and more wound up until eventually he went ballistic and tore a chunk off me with his claws in that unpredictably traitorous way that only cats do. Not only was I cock blocked, I had a piece of my buttcheek missing, and she sided with the cat when I tried to throw him out the window.

#14 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:09pm by SimpleSimon

LMFAO

#106 - On 08/17/2009 at 9:52pm by omgitsafly

LMFAO
Now THIS is a nice cock-block FML.


But yeah, when some cats are really wound up, it might be best to wind them down instead of ignore them.
Ahhh leg crawling.

#15 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:13pm by DameGreyWulf

That was brutal to read. :|

#16 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:13pm by EndZone

I like the punch line :)

#19 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:23pm by Neroflux

hahahahha the last line made it. (:

sucks. but its very entertaining.

#20 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:28pm by ohhsnapp

Wow, really? Well, we know who wears the pants in that house (the cat) and who wears the apron (that would be you, OP).

If you were a real man, you'd show that cat who's boss by throwing it off the bed (or even out the window) and then get back to business with your girlfriend.

If you let a fucking cat treat you that way, your girlfriend will lose all respect for you. Pretty soon you'll be painting her toenails and running to the store to buy her tampons.

Grow a pair, for christ's sake.

#21 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:35pm by thugbert

Haha! Expect it to happen a lot, my cat has a 6th sense for it, as soon as me and my boyfriend start getting intimate my cat appears next to us yowling for attention! They tend not to like there human giving someone else attention!

#23 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:38pm by steffibug

I'm extremely sick of a) where OPs flip verb tenses during stories to try to make them more exciting, and b) stories that end in "apparently ___ is more important than i am."

#24 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:39pm by brrrx

Lame so made up

#25 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:47pm by KiddNYC10

Prove it.

#92 - On 08/17/2009 at 6:39am by electroboy

AHAHHA nicely said :]

#27 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:53pm by c3ns0r3dn4m3

Close the door next time : )

#28 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:54pm by KookyKitt

This sounds totally fake

#29 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:55pm by Vilen1025

Man, I feel your pain, this sounds like it something that would happen to me.

#30 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:05pm by rfarock88

I'm here all week =)

#102 - On 08/17/2009 at 4:27pm by SimpleSimon

I had to read this three times to get that you weren't having sex with your daughter.

#33 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:16pm by Horurerukul

Exactly! I would absolutely hate it if my boyfriend referred to me as "his girl" and I would never call him "my man." I find those phrases absolutely irritating, it's like you're saying they are, as 33 put it, either your child or an object...

/rant

I have to admit though, I still like the song "My Girl" :3

/hypocrisy

OP, better to have a cockblocked FML than a "my bawls were scratched off by a cat" FML, just saying

#39 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:40pm by RESTAREA

Clearly she wasn't that turned on. You lose.

#34 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:17pm by lmmmr

who cares? oh no you diden't get laid. have sex later or whack off?

#35 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:17pm by Acidwash1987

Now I hate to admit this, but considering my current cats.... I'd probably get up and pay attention to them too instead. Though I wouldn't COMPLETELY ignore whoever was in my bed; after all, things WERE getting "hot and heavy." Most likely, I'd get up and see what the furball wanted, then come back.

#36 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:17pm by DameGreyWulf

I used to have really long hair-got it cut recently- but sometimes my boyfriend and I would be in a position such that my hair would hang off the furniture (bed, couch, whatever) and be touching the floor.
His cat would promptly come over and attack my hair.

#37 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:22pm by moonsolomon

lol haha

#51 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:45pm by ryan__h

kitty can please her better :p

#38 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:29pm by nightswimmer

@18, If you're not first, you're last.

#40 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:42pm by RESTAREA

ricky bobby ftw

#81 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:20am by kyle4321

Today, (something relating to having sex, and then getting distraced). FML


All the FMLs now are about this.

#41 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:49pm by bob1233

i literally lol'ed after reading this.

#43 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:51pm by hiperson3673

last sentence FTW

#45 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:56pm by liteupthestage

=^^= *meow*

I'm a girl guilty of doing this. I figure the cat hides most of the time, so I play with him when I can, but my boyfriend always wants sex.

#46 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:02pm by kbaker90

Lmao, sounds like something I would do. I loveeee cats

#47 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:02pm by MadeOfAwesome

Oh boo hoo. Grow up.

#49 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:19pm by carrot89

BLUE BALLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#50 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:23pm by R3B3L

Cats are more fun to play with

#53 - On 08/16/2009 at 8:03pm by rocketdog

That was hilarious...

#54 - On 08/16/2009 at 8:34pm by Hitsuki

I realize that knowing this means I have way too much time to waste, but I believe this punchline has already been used in commenting on another FML.

#57 - On 08/16/2009 at 8:50pm by Escapist28

that cat knew what the hell it was doing. get rid of it now.

#64 - On 08/16/2009 at 9:36pm by Cupcake10

Your girlfriend has her priorities right :)

#65 - On 08/16/2009 at 10:19pm by mattmag

Wow 3 fmls in a row about cats

#68 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:08pm by 19fml18

the way you call her "my girl" annoys me to no end. if my boyfriend ever called me his girl I would slap him across the face.

#69 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:43pm by danielle1336

Hmm...assuming you even HAVE a guy to call you "My Girl"

Seriously...what the hell is wrong with that? You hate being reffered to as "His girlfriend" too?

#90 - On 08/17/2009 at 5:37am by Phantom13

God I hate cats. I'd fling the damn thing off the bed then get back to business.

#70 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:46pm by FordPrefect

what's with all the cockblocking distractions on FML posts?? yes, we have established that people think about sex all the time except when they're actually having sex. and never call a girl "my girl". it's annoying.

#71 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:47pm by triplethreat13

I love it when my boyfriend calls me "his girl".

#75 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am by Smalls3706

You should have just scared the cat off the bet

#73 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:22am by BW3Cmart

Cock blocked by a cat....ouch

#74 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:27am by iljajlm

YDI for having a cat, double YDI for letting the stupid beast in your room, triple YDI for sucking at sex bad enough for your girl to lose interest and play with the stupid cat. Quadruple YDI for being stupid enough to post this for us to ridicule you. Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!

#76 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:46am by athos1237

Haha, nice.

#77 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:48am by skierguy

Lots of cat FMLs today...

#78 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:05am by nolli024

I so feel you!! My gf's attention span goes out of the window when the cat is in the same room. Get rid of it before it destroys you lol

#80 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:16am by pouli57

Amen! my ex used to come to my house and pay more attention to my cat than me

#84 - On 08/17/2009 at 3:00am by sedthsret

haha. loser

#82 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:21am by gigg_squad

i love my cats so much... like i'm sure you guys have enough sex. why can't she play with her cats? it annoys my boyfriend too when i ditch sex for my little babies. so i see where you're coming from. but nothing to cry on fml about

#83 - On 08/17/2009 at 2:35am by juicyjay00

Is anybody else confused about the phrase "got up started playing it instead of me"? I know what he meant but he worded it weird.

#85 - On 08/17/2009 at 3:03am by Tarynkd

i totally agree with #85. i thought the same exact thing

#87 - On 08/17/2009 at 4:19am by outcast_qurl

"cock bloxked by another pussy" ahahahaha epic!

#89 - On 08/17/2009 at 5:36am by Panther

Dude...get rid of the cat...or close the door!

First rule of intimacy...get rid of ALL distractions when beginning sex! The cat definantly counts as one...not only that, but I sware those animals KNOW when two people are trying to get "hot and heavy" as you so put it. They don't seem to like it very much when two people are tying to fuck in their presence...so get rid of them before you do anything!!!

#91 - On 08/17/2009 at 5:42am by Phantom13

i want this to be fake just so i can say that you just wanted to tell that little joke at the end to the whooooole world!

hahaha...

i'm such a prick

but seriously. if i was about to do it, i would make sure my cat wasnt in the same room

#93 - On 08/17/2009 at 7:56am by Kupokupupo

Oh,the pun! The horrible,hilarious pun!

#94 - On 08/17/2009 at 8:28am by EzZy_Alpha

OMG YOUR LIFE SUCKS SOOO BAD! I feel so sorry for you! that must suck so hard... a TRUE FML. your life is completely FUCKED... it's so not fair! :'((((((((((((

idiot

#95 - On 08/17/2009 at 10:05am by kewl92

YDI because that joke at the end sucked.

#96 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:10pm by skylinediver

hahaha, love how you worded this!

#97 - On 08/17/2009 at 12:31pm by brandnewyou

this happened to me, i kicked the cat off the bed though. but, his leg got stuck in between the foot board and mattress and he started screaming, in a cat like way. so i had to stop and help the cat, so kicking is not the answer.

#99 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:50pm by kacie

i can understand this. i would hate to be referred to as "my girl". my girlfriend is much more respectful. and, i also have a name, so if the reference my girl was used to anyone we knew, id be pissed.

#100 - On 08/17/2009 at 1:52pm by kacie

r u trying to say you're a lesbain?

#103 - On 08/17/2009 at 5:28pm by UncleverName_FYL

LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO luvved your little phrase at the end and i think your girl is bi because she like playin with pussy

#101 - On 08/17/2009 at 3:00pm by Atomic_Bombz

I don't understand what’s wrong with referring to someone as my girl/boy, is he or she not your girlfriend/boyfriend?? Jeez you people are too uptight.

And parents always refer to you as their little girl/boy or they’ll say my daughter/son or call you by your name or a nickname but never as just “my girl”. So I see nothing wrong with it and can’t imagine who would find that among all things as being disrespectful.

#104 - On 08/17/2009 at 5:36pm by UncleverName_FYL

Good that it wasn't ignored. I've heard horror stories about a cat batting at a guy's balls while he was going at it. Just think: that could have been YOU.

#107 - On 08/17/2009 at 11:26pm by tomakobriefs

hahahahhahahahah lol funny as hell cockblocked by another pussy.. lol

#108 - On 08/21/2009 at 9:30pm by jazzie1o1

one of the only time having another pussy in bead is a bad thing!

#109 - On 08/22/2009 at 3:07pm by yayhesdead165

I love word play! :D

#110 - On 08/22/2009 at 10:54pm by omar13

Wow that punch line was halarious =)

#111 - On 08/23/2009 at 12:26am by DenElite

LMAO.

#112 - On 08/23/2009 at 12:44am by CourtneyCrunk

very clever!

#113 - On 08/24/2009 at 2:09am by joshinaround

haha the endd pun is hilarious,
im gonna add this to my favourites just for that :P

#114 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:35pm by cursedcutiepi

pussy always wins!

#115 - On 08/26/2009 at 3:32am by assortedkandy

haha this made my day :D and #14 this is why ppl shouldnt own cats! they suck a lot and are only here to piss ppl off!

#116 - On 08/26/2009 at 3:24pm by Pnkfun5

Yeah, that cat shit is really annoying. Your girlfriend is fucked, but I don't understand how exactly your life is fucked from that. You mustn't have a life or something.

#117 - On 08/28/2009 at 8:09pm by dvs01

oh shitt,thats horriable.
for a cat too?
i hate cats,
fking pussy.
haha.

#118 - On 08/29/2009 at 5:22pm by carolinehunn

Don't you understand? You was with the wrong pussy man embrace your inner feline

#119 - On 08/30/2009 at 12:12am by nicholasseid

Epic win for your last sentence.

#120 - On 09/01/2009 at 12:37pm by Rayman1110

haha daaaang. its ok dude, shit like that happens to every guy. but all the same, props on your creativity in your last sentence lol

#121 - On 09/03/2009 at 4:53pm by pearldude729

HAHA! Dude, Ive totally had the same thing happen to me. it sucks :P

#122 - On 09/15/2009 at 11:06pm by arrowhead326

u stole dis

#123 - On 10/24/2009 at 12:48pm by ericvolp12

Dude, this happens to me all the time. It's awful every single time.

#124 - On 12/08/2009 at 2:56pm by Trogdor

Your life does suck- but how you said it was LOL

#125 - On 12/22/2009 at 7:41am by Squirty

wow, no comment. you said it all ; cockblockd by another pussy

#126 - On 12/30/2009 at 9:48pm by xsheqoes_hardd

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