Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38942) - you totally deserved it (4879)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
HAHA! Totally agree, #1.
YDI for referring to a cat, a living being, as "it!"
# 60 is an epic winner!
Hell even the OP is a winner when it comes to sense of humor!
#62 - On 08/16/2009 at 9:25pm by metheonlyb
"First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the polka dotted dress." doesn't apply here.
#26 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:49pm by dinosaursmoo
hmm i've heard hairy chest and treasure chest but never polka dot dress
#48 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:03pm by klutzywriter
Same here. Never heard of the dress one. Cats are beautiful, I so would've done the same.
#88 - On 08/17/2009 at 4:25am by Kiwi_Splash
That's too fucking funny. Seriously, the last sentence is the best thing ever.
#128 - On 02/20/2010 at 1:25am by bridgette5866
Is it just me, or have there been a lot of FMLs about cats lately?
#4 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:49pm by doubleAbattery
Phrased perfectly. Nice goin'. I bet she's BI...afterall, she likes pussy-cats :D
#5 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:49pm by spidergirl41
Hahaha, I was gonna reply with "That's what you get for wanting a second pussy in bed."
#72 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:48pm by dudeitsdanny
was this the cat from the cockblocked by another pussy fml?
#6 - On 08/16/2009 at 4:52pm by penizulaface
You should teach the cat to guide your cock, not block it.
#9 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:00pm by natsumosam92
Cats have sharp little nails and they are evil and like to destroy things... not good for cock-guiding
@9: LOL
and buddy, it was a superbad reference
thugbert=fail
#31 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:14pm by canucksrule88
She did the right thing. Seriously, my ex and I were mid-fuck when her cat decided it wanted some attention too. Ignoring him just got him more and more wound up until eventually he went ballistic and tore a chunk off me with his claws in that unpredictably traitorous way that only cats do. Not only was I cock blocked, I had a piece of my buttcheek missing, and she sided with the cat when I tried to throw him out the window.
#14 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:09pm by SimpleSimon
LMFAO
Now THIS is a nice cock-block FML.
But yeah, when some cats are really wound up, it might be best to wind them down instead of ignore them.
Ahhh leg crawling.
#15 - On 08/16/2009 at 5:13pm by DameGreyWulf
Wow, really? Well, we know who wears the pants in that house (the cat) and who wears the apron (that would be you, OP).
If you were a real man, you'd show that cat who's boss by throwing it off the bed (or even out the window) and then get back to business with your girlfriend.
If you let a fucking cat treat you that way, your girlfriend will lose all respect for you. Pretty soon you'll be painting her toenails and running to the store to buy her tampons.
Grow a pair, for christ's sake.
Haha! Expect it to happen a lot, my cat has a 6th sense for it, as soon as me and my boyfriend start getting intimate my cat appears next to us yowling for attention! They tend not to like there human giving someone else attention!
I'm extremely sick of a) where OPs flip verb tenses during stories to try to make them more exciting, and b) stories that end in "apparently ___ is more important than i am."
I had to read this three times to get that you weren't having sex with your daughter.
#33 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:16pm by Horurerukul
Exactly! I would absolutely hate it if my boyfriend referred to me as "his girl" and I would never call him "my man." I find those phrases absolutely irritating, it's like you're saying they are, as 33 put it, either your child or an object...
/rant
I have to admit though, I still like the song "My Girl" :3
/hypocrisy
OP, better to have a cockblocked FML than a "my bawls were scratched off by a cat" FML, just saying
who cares? oh no you diden't get laid. have sex later or whack off?
#35 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:17pm by Acidwash1987
Now I hate to admit this, but considering my current cats.... I'd probably get up and pay attention to them too instead. Though I wouldn't COMPLETELY ignore whoever was in my bed; after all, things WERE getting "hot and heavy." Most likely, I'd get up and see what the furball wanted, then come back.
#36 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:17pm by DameGreyWulf
I used to have really long hair-got it cut recently- but sometimes my boyfriend and I would be in a position such that my hair would hang off the furniture (bed, couch, whatever) and be touching the floor.
His cat would promptly come over and attack my hair.
#37 - On 08/16/2009 at 6:22pm by moonsolomon
Today, (something relating to having sex, and then getting distraced). FML
All the FMLs now are about this.
=^^= *meow*
I'm a girl guilty of doing this. I figure the cat hides most of the time, so I play with him when I can, but my boyfriend always wants sex.
Lmao, sounds like something I would do. I loveeee cats
#47 - On 08/16/2009 at 7:02pm by MadeOfAwesome
I realize that knowing this means I have way too much time to waste, but I believe this punchline has already been used in commenting on another FML.
#57 - On 08/16/2009 at 8:50pm by Escapist28
the way you call her "my girl" annoys me to no end. if my boyfriend ever called me his girl I would slap him across the face.
#69 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:43pm by danielle1336
Hmm...assuming you even HAVE a guy to call you "My Girl"
Seriously...what the hell is wrong with that? You hate being reffered to as "His girlfriend" too?
God I hate cats. I'd fling the damn thing off the bed then get back to business.
#70 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:46pm by FordPrefect
what's with all the cockblocking distractions on FML posts?? yes, we have established that people think about sex all the time except when they're actually having sex. and never call a girl "my girl". it's annoying.
#71 - On 08/16/2009 at 11:47pm by triplethreat13
YDI for having a cat, double YDI for letting the stupid beast in your room, triple YDI for sucking at sex bad enough for your girl to lose interest and play with the stupid cat. Quadruple YDI for being stupid enough to post this for us to ridicule you. Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!
I so feel you!! My gf's attention span goes out of the window when the cat is in the same room. Get rid of it before it destroys you lol
i love my cats so much... like i'm sure you guys have enough sex. why can't she play with her cats? it annoys my boyfriend too when i ditch sex for my little babies. so i see where you're coming from. but nothing to cry on fml about
#83 - On 08/17/2009 at 2:35am by juicyjay00
Is anybody else confused about the phrase "got up started playing it instead of me"? I know what he meant but he worded it weird.
i totally agree with #85. i thought the same exact thing
#87 - On 08/17/2009 at 4:19am by outcast_qurl
Dude...get rid of the cat...or close the door!
First rule of intimacy...get rid of ALL distractions when beginning sex! The cat definantly counts as one...not only that, but I sware those animals KNOW when two people are trying to get "hot and heavy" as you so put it. They don't seem to like it very much when two people are tying to fuck in their presence...so get rid of them before you do anything!!!
i want this to be fake just so i can say that you just wanted to tell that little joke at the end to the whooooole world!
hahaha...
i'm such a prick
but seriously. if i was about to do it, i would make sure my cat wasnt in the same room
#93 - On 08/17/2009 at 7:56am by Kupokupupo
OMG YOUR LIFE SUCKS SOOO BAD! I feel so sorry for you! that must suck so hard... a TRUE FML. your life is completely FUCKED... it's so not fair! :'((((((((((((
idiot
this happened to me, i kicked the cat off the bed though. but, his leg got stuck in between the foot board and mattress and he started screaming, in a cat like way. so i had to stop and help the cat, so kicking is not the answer.
i can understand this. i would hate to be referred to as "my girl". my girlfriend is much more respectful. and, i also have a name, so if the reference my girl was used to anyone we knew, id be pissed.
LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO luvved your little phrase at the end and i think your girl is bi because she like playin with pussy
#101 - On 08/17/2009 at 3:00pm by Atomic_Bombz
I don't understand what’s wrong with referring to someone as my girl/boy, is he or she not your girlfriend/boyfriend?? Jeez you people are too uptight.
And parents always refer to you as their little girl/boy or they’ll say my daughter/son or call you by your name or a nickname but never as just “my girl”. So I see nothing wrong with it and can’t imagine who would find that among all things as being disrespectful.
#104 - On 08/17/2009 at 5:36pm by UncleverName_FYL
Good that it wasn't ignored. I've heard horror stories about a cat batting at a guy's balls while he was going at it. Just think: that could have been YOU.
#107 - On 08/17/2009 at 11:26pm by tomakobriefs
one of the only time having another pussy in bead is a bad thing!
#109 - On 08/22/2009 at 3:07pm by yayhesdead165
haha the endd pun is hilarious,
im gonna add this to my favourites just for that :P
#114 - On 08/25/2009 at 10:35pm by cursedcutiepi
haha this made my day :D and #14 this is why ppl shouldnt own cats! they suck a lot and are only here to piss ppl off!
Yeah, that cat shit is really annoying. Your girlfriend is fucked, but I don't understand how exactly your life is fucked from that. You mustn't have a life or something.
oh shitt,thats horriable.
for a cat too?
i hate cats,
fking pussy.
haha.
#118 - On 08/29/2009 at 5:22pm by carolinehunn
Don't you understand? You was with the wrong pussy man embrace your inner feline
#119 - On 08/30/2009 at 12:12am by nicholasseid
haha daaaang. its ok dude, shit like that happens to every guy. but all the same, props on your creativity in your last sentence lol
#121 - On 09/03/2009 at 4:53pm by pearldude729
HAHA! Dude, Ive totally had the same thing happen to me. it sucks :P
#122 - On 09/15/2009 at 11:06pm by arrowhead326
wow, no comment. you said it all ; cockblockd by another pussy
#126 - On 12/30/2009 at 9:48pm by xsheqoes_hardd
