Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you totally deserved it (6416)
On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
lol maybe she was just messing with you.
That, or she thought you were horrible and she was calling you out sortof..
What? How you have intense mind-blowing sex in your sleep? O_O
You definitely earned some bragging rights with that haha.
She just forgot the mindblowing sex was with the guy is she is having an affair with. No biggie.
#12 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:17pm by necromancerlord
Hey she did say it was mind blowing. That's why you can't remember it.
The important thing is that she did and you will be known as someone who gets the job done. AIR FIVE!
#14 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:21pm by blabbermouth26
You know your life is shitty when you get sex from your girlfriend. I feel your pain, man. Stay strong.
#15 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:22pm by RyanRaygun
She put a pill in your drink, Did 5 other guys while you were knocked out, and gave you the compliments to make you feel like a champ....this is all coming from experience
A lot of the commenters here are dying to know want model vibrator she used.
#18 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:29pm by I_am_stupid_also
Nope, it's real. It's called sleep sex, like sleep walking. Happens to me and my boyfriend sometimes.
#17-ew
#18-you brought redemption back to the fml that #17 stole
#20 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:33pm by blabbermouth26
This is not an FYL. You gave your girlfriend the best sex she's ever had...in your sleep. There are only two other men who can pull that off- Hugh Jackman, and Jesus.
That's cause you were so whiskeydicked you lasted like a champion and worked every angle of her love canal. Story of my life.
#26 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:51pm by SlooterMcGavin
i dont understand what #15 is trying to say
how is your life shitty if youre having sex with your girl?
#27, #15 is using a intersting tool called SARCASM!
and is making fun of the op.
#27 was to sound like dumbass good job
#29 - On 06/04/2009 at 8:54pm by dancin303
ah man my life sucks i rocked my girlfriends world and don't remember it...poor fucking me.
#30 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:01pm by guitardedman
Were you on Ambien at the time?? Or was she?????? hahaha!
#31 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:01pm by _insertnamehere_
Who cares, as long as she's happy! Maybe you can do it that good again!
#32 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:09pm by forsalebypwner
Well, at least she thought you were good. Sad you missed out on it, but at least you have that.
I must admit, random middle-of-the-night sex is usually pretty good, provided both people actually fully wake up at some point.
#34 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:11pm by mouseintern
Actually this was from an old TV show, called "Mad about you" with Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt. I'm guessing your just making this up from that. but maybe not.. who knows.. :-)
I really don't see how your life is f***ed. I mean... if this constitutes an FML, wtf are you complaining about?
#39 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:25pm by Victoria2103
#23 ...LMAO...stomach pain from laughing xD
if you're a sleepwalker that's just and ordinary thing...i've done it too while sleepwalking...:q
one good explanation for this is that maybe you coward yourself (maybe even without noticing) while you're awake....but when you're uncouscious/sleeping you can get to your instincts and well the.....work...
the advice I have for you is...sometimes you gotta let your dick think for you...xD
dude i totally understand this is a fml because he totally rocked in bed gave his girlfriend the best sex she ever had. the bad thing is he cant remeber how he did it so know on she is going to be expecting him to perform that same lvl of sex when ever they do it but because he doesnt know what he did lol its not going to be the same lol
#45 - On 06/04/2009 at 9:47pm by ithedarkknight
Take a Que, she likes it Rough and hard. Sometime when she's doing the dishes, yank her to the floor and do her right there-be a caveman every now and then, you'll both be happy.
Now you know. You have to let her do all the work for sex to be great. And knowing is half the battle.
Oh and possible rape.
hahahaaahaha that is the funniest thing ive heard all day.
sucks for you though.
#53 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:05pm by takemeonthefloor
#7 Filming really? Porn is not necessary if you get the real thing on the other hand it would be useful since you do not remember how you did it. and lmao
#56 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:16pm by suckingatlife
Wow dude... if the best sex she's gotten from you was when you were half asleep... yeah, both your lives are fucked.
Hahah or maybe she's lying just to fuck with you. :p That'd be funny.
Did she tell you she had sex with you? Maybe she was with someone else last night while you were sleeping.
#33,43,44 sorry i mispelled interesting. its a typo. and btw i am a she
#61 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:32pm by dancin303
Tell her to go round 2 tonight, you weren't finished experimenting the night before. Just go wild with whatever crazy moves you can come up with and see what happens.
wow good job dude you got the bomb stuff in your sleep lol n lmao at #4
#63 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:43pm by spidergirl040812
you sure she isn't just fucking with you? sounds like something i would do to my boyfriend if i was a girl.
#68 - On 06/04/2009 at 10:53pm by yungmoolahbaby
Just because it was on Mad About You doesn't mean this doesn't happen in real life. The writers did have to get inspiration from something!
#70 - On 06/04/2009 at 11:00pm by chasing_adalia
LMAO #4 ya u guys got to read the other FML to get it if u havnt
#71 - On 06/04/2009 at 11:08pm by Dead_and_Gone
if you don't get #4...
Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML
#75 - On 06/04/2009 at 11:12pm by yungmoolahbaby
LOL LOL LOL @ # 4 and # 23
and.. # 77! hahaha good one
#78 - On 06/04/2009 at 11:28pm by greenb0ttlecap
hahaha, this is awsome. It has definitely happened to me before, but I was in your girlfriends situation. Honestly, when my boyfriend told me he didn't remember it, it didn't even bother me. I was too satisfied.
you're a pretty lucky guy to be woken up for that reason out of others. still I'd be PO'd if someone interrupted my sleep even if it was for sex.
#86 - On 06/05/2009 at 12:23am by IllegalLight
Lmfao At #23 And I Dont Get #4 .? But Yheaa .. It Probably Was A Dream Or She Was Playing W| You.
#87 - On 06/05/2009 at 12:29am by ihTzJasMine
Something similar happened to me with my ex-girlfriend but at least I remembered having sex and that it was awesome (although nothing more)...anyhow, her reaction was the same.
Dinnae, maybe being half asleep draws out the animal in a man ...
Nice! Hope she cleaned ya off before going back to bed..hate to have a mess to clean early in the morning.
#92 - On 06/05/2009 at 2:06am by DizzyDemon0
Just ask her to tell you in detail and claim it's just to hear her talk dirty, or for foreplay?
#93 - On 06/05/2009 at 3:01am by nobody_special
haha i get #4's joke =D maybe this person is Dan... haha! but next time, you might want to wake up cause if I hear 'lets have sex', i'm awake in no more than a second!
#94 - On 06/05/2009 at 3:04am by najiiexbabii
Congratulations: your best preformance yet was when you were half asleep!
Seriously though, it's normal to forget things from just after waking up.
#97 - On 06/05/2009 at 4:06am by BenignScientists
hahah thanks for summarizing that episode of mad about you. and if u like legit didnt know about the episode, she was lying to you haha
#98 - On 06/05/2009 at 4:25am by hollykins91
This isn't an fml, although you shouldn't have let her know you didn't remember it. Should have used it to your advantage - tell her you were glad she enjoyed it so much and how it was really good for you as well, pointing out it was probably because you felt such a connection to her... Now ask her that favour that you wanted from her - she'll probably do it.
#99 - On 06/05/2009 at 4:57am by NotTheAverage
i dont remember if that has happened to me but i sure as hell remember being woken up like that :D
#101 - On 06/05/2009 at 6:09am by dragonmystik3030
Ha, some people sleep walk, you my friend, sleep Fuck... Way cooler. Go with it, so you don't remember it? Big deal. If you keep it up she is going to stick around.
i guess a first date bj is in store to make up for this
#106 - On 06/05/2009 at 9:13am by thisissilly123
#27 - i think what 15 is trying to say is that the guy should be fucking the girl.. not the other way around
pretty damn sexist and unnecessary.
unless he's being sarcastic (like that your life is obvs not shitty when you're getting some)
idk.
anyways this is just a sketchy overall FML. i dont get it.
you could have been drunk. on a shitload of drugs. or asleep.
you dont really give us enough info. so i just dont find it funny. its just weird
#4, #23, #29 = ROFLMAO
That was EPIC
You win at life!!!!!!!!!!
XD
#109 - On 06/05/2009 at 9:44am by myfairyoshi
I've heard about this. Apparently people are way less inhibited when they're sleep screwing and really go to town on their partners. Too bad they can't remember it!
i guess it is a FML if you don't remember it and it was that good, but you get woken up in the middle of the night to have sex so it's also not really a FML.
This has definetely happened to me several times before. As the girlfriend, I looked it up online and turns out it is an actual condition that occur if your stressed. Weird, I know.
#116 - On 06/05/2009 at 3:17pm by ihavenofml
#23, you're forgetting Chuck Norris. When you're making a list of people, you often have to include Chuck. This is one of those lists.
Some exceptions:
- A list of losers. Chuck is a winner, even if he loses.
- A list of women. You'd have to say Micheal Jackson there.
- A list of groceries. You can't afford Chuck Norris.
- A list of men. Chuck Norris is more of a 'God' than a 'Man'.
- A list of vegetarians. Chuck Norris eats vegetarians.
- A list of who's coming to your birthday party. Chuck Norris has no friends. Only victims.
Aww, if she said that once, there may be a next time :\
#120 - On 06/05/2009 at 6:04pm by uberchicken
Well, while it would have been nice to experience it... you did come out of it with your girlfriend having a positive attitude toward you, so it's hardly an FML.
#121 - On 06/05/2009 at 6:09pm by skippyelgato
this is from "mad about you", a sit-com with paul raiser and helen hunt. it was ok, got kinda shitty on the later seasons (this is from the later seasons)
wow... nice thing 2 talk bout during breakfast,
thats crazy u dont even member that u fucked her last night com'on u serious...?
#137 - On 06/10/2009 at 11:01pm by HERSEy_KISSz
um....nice thing 2 talk about during breakfast =]
buh i think its crazy u dont member fucking her that night im mean really u serious..?
#138 - On 06/10/2009 at 11:03pm by HERSEy_KISSz
this is a copy of an episode of "Mad About You." with Helen Hunt and Paul Reiser
#152 - On 08/27/2009 at 12:49am by desert_dweller5
