Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

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Sounds like another retarded Twilight fan.

Find someone who doesn't dwell on the fantasy world.

Haha sorry, but that is hilarious! Love it!

Don't sweat it, she's clearly a freak

#1, I agree. It's like, everybody feels that they could find there own "Edward". :|
Me too. I'm sorry about that. :(

And Twilight screws over another poor guy.

Ok-- I am a Twilight fan, they are wretchedly cheesy teen romance novels, but still I am a fan.

On that note; Twilighters, those stupid, obsessive, moronic little fangirls who want every guy to be like Edward should be shot in the face.

Sorry dude, that really blows.

Fucking Twilight has ruined the last of my teenage years.

when does it end?!?!?!

twilight refuses to go away!!

So bite her.

...Then again, you probably got lucky. She may have bitten you. While her mouth was over your important parts. So yeah.

FYL though.

Did you tell her you like to watch her sleep? That's what she wanted to hear.

fuck twilight such bs

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What is this I don't even

#6, Oh don't get me wrong. I know there are some fans of the series who aren't insane...(but MOST are) I have a good friend who likes the series, but never mentions it outside because she hates all the crazy, delusional, moronic, etc fangirls.

I realistically don't think Edward could exist. That's what annoys me about the books and the people that read them - people are too ignorant to realize that he's simply not a real person and guys aren't like him 24/7.

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this is the opposite of an FML because, as #12 said, you were lucky enough to get away from someone who thinks a guy sneaking into a girls room and watching her sleep without her permission is love. isnt there sposed to be a thing where vampires cant get into a house if they dont have permission anyways?

I feel sorry for any kid named Edward these days.

I hope you're not an Edward.


Either way, FYL and FH future.

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#17, vampires don't sparkle either, nor can they survive in sunlight.

Twlight broke every rule in the Vampire Handbook just so it can be its own breed in the vampire world.

In the end, it just pissed REAL vampire fans off and spawned a new breed of retarded fangirls.

#19: I've read three of them because my friend was trying to convert me.

Didn't work. So make like Edward and bite me.

#19, actually, I read the entire series to see how it was, and I hated it. It was horrible. So don't stereotype ME either. And if you said you'd love Edward Cullen to appear on your doorstep, then obviously YOU'RE pathetic. He's obsessive, border line abusive, and crazy.

And I also said I have a friend who reads the series and isn't crazy. From my experiance, most Twilight fans I've met are crazy fangirls. So maybe before you should judge others, you should take a look at yourself.

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#19, oi! Dun be calling me out! I'm an epic nerd/fan of sorts too on many things! It's just MOST Twilight fans are like this! And I never said "All". I just said it's another retarded one. Geez.

i read it and aparantly edwards a 100 guy who breaks into her house at night to watch her sleep. He also wants to kill her. Other hobbies of his include following girls into town when they go shopping.
And this is what ladies these days like in a man. A peverted pedofile.

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In the whole movie Bella looks like she's about to have an o**asm ^_^

#25 - I knew I was doing something wrong.

I'm so glad I didn't go to see Twilight. I made my best friend go alone with his girlfriend and her friends. He still tells me how much he hated the movie.

DAMN YOU, TWILIGHT! *raises fist in the air*

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lol, twilight upsested.

damn twilight

LMFAOLMFAOLMFAO.

She's looking for someone like Edward Cullen, don't fret about her, she's just insane.

#15 - Edward sort of exists, but as a registered sex offender.

Thank you, #30!

im with 30

thanks for the reviews on twilight guys, appriciate it.

#26: Except the last few chapters which were sucky fanfiction, they got better and better. But still, LotR is better from the start.

Just to clarify... does she think she'll actually meet one?!

Hmm. I only read the last book in the Twilight series - it was good, but Ive read better.

This teenage fascination with Twilight is something I just dont understand.
LOL @ #34!!

Well I totally loved the Twilight series but... not to the point of obsession, then again I'm not a teen.

wow i can't believe how abusive everyone is. and on BOTH sides. I am a reader and yeah I read the series and yeah I am a fan, I don't like the twihards because I believe they give fans a bad name by being kinda weird but that doesn't mean that the books should be hated because of that. People who were convinced to read them and still hated them is fair enough, they're still successful and they make people happy. I'm never going to go out of my way to watch a star wars film but that doesn't mean I don't know that there are crazy dedicated fans out there and that its hugely successful and i'm not going to hate the fans. I think if something pisses you off you should avoid it not outwardly abuse it and the people who like it. Why breed negativity and hatred, what good would that do?

Twilight has a lot to answer for.

But that fact aside here are some things that anyone who is waiting for their vampire in shining armour should write out 100 times on a blackboard.
Vampires are not real!

Also. if you are going to use a preconceived mythical creature then don't go re-writing the rules that govern such creatures just because they don't fit into your book. Thats like me writing a book about trolls who are tall, good looking, are vegetarian and live in tree's.
If you don't like the rules then come up with a new idea! Call them something different. Use some creativity.

The funny thing even if vampires did exist then no woman could "fall in love" with a vampire. It would simply be the vampire casting a glamour on them so the vamp could rip open their throat and feed on them.

Mmm, oh yea, thats romantic/sexy

You obviously just need to bite her uterus to deliver her demon baby. Then she will love you.

Those effing books. I seriously hate them, worst books I've read since I can remember.

#34 ftw.
I have a lot of girl friends who are old enough to know better but don't - one of them dumped her boyfriend because she had just read Twilight for the first time and fell in love with Edward instead.
The one thing people seem to forget is that Edward and Bella (yes I've read the book - well the first one - yes it sucked) take all the fun out of relationships. They spend the whole time being like ZOMFG IMMA EAT CHOO/ZOMFG URRA EAT ME AND IDK CUZ ILY...... but they never actually enjoy each others' presence because they're too busy being all intense-and-depressing.
Where's the love in that?

that Twilight book corrupted all the readers' minds........

fuck twilight, give me bill compton from true blood any day.

haha you should've said "But I am a vampire," and see what she would've done. couldn't hurt!

That's disgusting. You're lucky you got away because she sounds like a crazy Twatlight fan.

fuck those books

this really ticks me off when girls, its always mostly girls, get obssessed over something like twilight another example are the jonas brothers, girls only like these two things cause a lot of other girls like them if your a guy and you like these two things then you are a creeper but I'm just saying that OP this happens a lot your not alone

Hehe, you like crazy people.

twilight cock-block ftw
I read it, not sure how i got through it
and true blood= real vampires

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Yes, True blood is a much better representation of vampires.

But I only watch that show because of Anna Paquin and her lovely little boobies as seen at the start of season 2. ;-)

rejected!! sorry that really sucks I have been rejected a lot, but never has someone said that they wish I was a vampire

dont worry about it, if she wished you were a vampire shes obviously some kind of freak anyway... twilight

You OBVIOUSLY forgot to mention that you sparkle and like to watch her sleep while listening to the voices in your head. Duuuh.

*sigh* Girl has some effed-up expectations.
And, to all screaming fangirls (even though I am one, I admit)
EDWARD IS AN OBSESSIVE, CONTROLLING CREEP. HE WORRIES TOO BLOODY MUCH AND ACTS LIKE HE OWNS BELLA.
BELLA IS STUPID FOR LIKING BEING TREATED LIKE PERSONAL PROPERTY.
That book could have been good.
It just terribly effeminized vampires. -_-

smh... a Twilight fan...

I actually love the Twilight books :). I even got my friends into loving the books as well. They're very addicting. I am, however, able to distinguish fantasy from reality and know that neither Edward nor vampires exist. And besides? Who needs an Edward Cullen when you can have Jacob Black?? LOL!

But seriously... the books aren't bad. Why have several of you read MULTIPLE books but complain about how poorly written it was or how bad it sucked? Idk maybe it's just me... but if a book was THAT bad, I wouldn't waste time reading it... it's sorta common sense.

#60- Its always good to give some thing a chance before you criticize it. :]

damn you stephanie meyer.

#61- Oh yeah, I understand that, but... it's not just one chapter or only one book... it's multiple books. What makes you think there would be much variation between them? That I don't get lol.

What is wrong with this " i hope you were a vampire" thing!!! Don't they live in real life!!! Cmon now! I am a girl but i would never want my bf to be a fiction character. She doesn't deserve you seriously. You can find someone more serious, someone who doesn't want a vampire bf.

Well.. Perhaps that's just an invitation for you to start biting her neck. ;)

Wow, so reading this I didn't think of Twilight (and I've read the whole saga). I can't believe everyone doesn't realize how many other references to vampires there are in literature and on television. Let's start with Dracula, I'm fairly certain EVERYONE has heard of him. Then if you go into the teen section of a book store you have two books by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes: In the Forests of the Night and Demon in My View. Then you have "The Silver Kiss" and "Look for Me By Moonlight." And on Friday there was just an episode on "Ghost Whisperer" about a ghost that made the girl he was haunting believe that he was a vampire. Girls like the idea of eternal love, never having to be alone. Why can't people understand that?

#19 I am a vamp fanatic so I have read all the books and can say without doubt and Twilight is absolute shit. It reads like fanfic 'gap fillers' for the last season of Buffy when she was getting it on with Spike. Infact I am not convinced that it isn't. Only thing Edward 'I was in Harry Potter' Cullen has in common with a real vampire is that he sucks!

OP that is bad for you but you are better off without her. She will end up with some creepy stalker in body glitter who leaves her beaten up after sex and controls everything she does to 'protect' her.

lol, well.....

SUCKS FOR YOU !

#66, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that the girl in question might've been a vampire fetishist and not a Twilight freak, but you're an idiot.

Ok, do your self a favor and dump her fast.

2nd, has anyone actualy given it some thought that other people do read these and like to post simmerila fmls just just to get a rise out of you? And yet you guys still thing that some of these are real.

This is anothere reasion why I joined this site.

RI

i woulda sucked the shit outta that bitch

I am going to say this one time... and one time only. That bitch was crazy, and you are better off. She isn't even going to find a vampire man, because they don't exist. "I wish you were a vampire."

you're response should have been something like "I wish you were able to separate reality from fantasy... damned wing nut."

What the hell is up with all these Twilight FMLs? I know people are noting everything from Bram Stroker's Dracula, to Castlevania as being a probable cause, but I strongly disagree. How often are there primarily "romantic" (stalking) centered vampire fictions? Not too often. And for good reason.

Also... this... is... not... good... writing...

Wow, that girl needs to learn the difference between reality and fiction. That's all I have to say.

Twilight has truly destroyed society

OMFG it's fuckin' Twilight! Fuck yes for vampires and dumb and horny 14 year old girls. FOL for Fuck Our Lives 'cause Twilight got published.

twilight is alrite but yea, some ppl are just too obessed with twilight. Its just a fukin book jeeez
and twilight isnt gonna go away for a while becuz theres still the movies lol
so gud luck to all of u and hope tht none of us meet some insanely hot BUT obessed twilight freak haha

This is hilarious
But she's a waste of time sos that book

I'm with #26.

I've read all of the Twilight books and they were the most poorly written books I've ever read.

The only reason I kept reading was because they have something addictive about them. But that didn't make up for the poor writing style, the insipid plot lines and the fact that the whole time you were reading them you were thinking 'so this is what it's like being inside a repressed and obsessive Mormon woman's head'.

Today, I read all of the Stephanie Meyer Twilight books. I wasted fourteen hours of my life. I can't get them back. FML

Damn freaky teenage twilight fans sorry to see you get fucked by that book.

twilight ruins people
i bet twilight has some world-conquering subliminal messages, we just haven't seen the true effects of them yet...

#67, why do no people like you go to my college?

Edward "I was in Harry Potter" Cullen? Hahahaha!

XD Classic.

I'm a twilight fan so I just think thats hilarious!!!!!!

wow, how old was this girl..seriously you are better off trust me

Ok, I think we realy need to stop and think about this.
You guy really need to calm down about this, all of you are right in your mined, let's take a diffrent
View point.

1. Why is it that we come to this site?

From what I've seen it's to vent anger.

2. Other people read the comments and see witch fmls get the bigest reaction, in this this case the "wanta be vampire fiction novle, witch will never come close to book or film versions of bram stokers Dracula" twlight, a post more fake fmls one the subject.

3. You guys need to seperate the real fmls from the fake.

RI

Edward is a wimp....I don't know why Girls find him so appealing !!! You want a Vampire......Watch Buffy or Angel for Spike.....NOW THAT IS A VAMPIRE lol =p

Well, you now know what you need to do.

Become a vampire.

does that mean she doesn't date ANYONE then?

So women nowadays want a 100+ year old pedophile?

hmm..
watches her sleep, sparkles, hears voices in his head, urges to kill her, mood swings of extream anger...
yeaaah. mhhm, who wouldnt whant him.
CREAPO GIRLFRIEND, :)

& btw. i read all books, and ill admit i got addicted of fifnishing them because the story was good. the writing was horrid. it took stepheny meyer or w.e too long to get to the point. and it was just boring at times. but after i finished the book i continued with my life. why cant ppl get its fucking FAKE. and i agree, those book ruends lifess !! i regret reading them.
geeeez.

Wow. Good job OP, you just broke fml fans into hating each other over twilight haha.

Just to be corny and proud, my bf is like edward..just the romantic side, not the stalkish, I wanna suck you side. :] edward is out there, but girls need to stop looking for him and just accept the side of the guy and appreciate what he has to offer. Maybe it's better than edward and bella's tragic romeo&juliet story. Wtf really wants a vampire? Everyone would really flee. Jeez, girls. Get over it.

and that's how I met your mother

fuck everyone who says twilight is a bad book. have u even read the series? it's amazing, I agree that some people get really obsessed and it's gone wayyyyy too far, but come on, it ain't shit.

#19, the books are written in the context of a junior high student. The book sold million copies to preteen girls who are in denial about the reality of men and dating. All the stories about girls dumping guys because they aren't Edward Cullen proves it.

Last I checked, vampires aren't supposed to sparkle.

OP, you should have bit her neck and told her you are tempted to suck her blood and that you love watching her sleep at night.

#58 is about right, I kind of like the cute protective, possessive instinct some guys have, but not to his extent, he's downright weird. Plus if you think about it, he's technically an old old man. PEDOOOOO...

Sorry she turned out to be such a weirdo. If she holds guys up to such unrealistic expectations, she'll never really be happy. Maybe she'll grow up one day.

I'm with #4 and #72. (Also: lol, "wing nut". I haven't heard that in forever) She might've been pretty, but her head was obviously empty except for "OMG sparkly vampires WHEE!"

So start stalking her, then have sex with her while she's unconscious and break all her bones in the process. It's what she wants, after all.

she may have been beautiful, but trust me, you dodged a bullet with that one.

These fucking Twilight twerps don't know what a real vampire is.

THEY DON'T SPARKLE.

Quick note: Everyone defending twilight to the point of being a "twi-tard" so far has written their comments either with huge amounts of incorrect grammar and spelling, or awkward run-on sentences.

I'm sure that's a coincidence.

I read all the books, thinking it might be good. It wasn't.
Apparently everybody likes stalker-pedophiles who claim to be vampires, but really aren't.
Yay for metrosexual sparkly men.

O_O

WOW!

RI

nice one #19. i am a twilight fan but im not insane. being meean to people that like twilight, 10 bucks say that half of you seceretly like the books. so stop bein mean to others, its rude and get over your selves

TWIHLIGHT >______>
Most of the fan girls think its the best book ever written, when half of them have never even read another book.
Not to mention they ruined the image of Vampires from scary men to teenage lovers >.>
And next they are going to ruin the Werewolf image..

http://www.fmylife.com/love/9321

Enough said.

okay, I, too am a fan of the twilight series. As well as like half the world. I don't think every girl that wants a guy like Edward should be "shot in the face", but, I do agree some girls take it too far like the OPs girl. And you don't even have to bash them, there are gunna be weird people in the world everywhere you go. GET OVER IT! Don't hate on other people just because they have different tastes/beliefs as you.

Oh no please no the Werewolf, that animle cruality.

BTW: The new HP film is do out Soon, Prepare for battle!

RI

Don't worry--if it's because of that shite Twilight, she doesn't wish you were a vampire: she wishes you were a glampire. It's the same difference between goth and emo: emo is like goth, but for pussies. Likewise, real vampires aren't anything glamorous nor are they anything to be messed with.

damn twilight.

Shoulda bit her, taught her a lesson

I was in Coles with my boyfriend the other day, we saw a teen girl squealing over a pin that said "I love boys who Sparkle! [Twilight]". We almost puked on her.

I feel for you, Twilight has ruined many relationships. It should be banned for life.

Have you tried, I mean *really* tried being a vampire?

Maybe she doesn't like Twilight. Maybe she just likes being bitten... Show her just how vampire-like you can be.

hahaha FYL.. i mean seriously how effing obsessed can you be

wow. #108 are you serious? Way to label people. #111, yeah so? people like twilight. Don't hate. And I just LOVE how people are saying "Twilight ruined too many relationships" HAH! yeah okay. Is that your excuse for being a sucky boyfriend/girlfriend people?! lmao.

#19 I totally agree.

101: In case you've yet to notice, everyone on here has horrendous grammar and spelling. Including you. I'd double-check your holier-than-thou post *before* you start ripping on Twilight fans for bad grammar.

To that end, I'm a Twilight fan. It's easy to read and an interesting storyline. It's also called "fiction," people. If Stephanie Meyer wants to invent a new brand of vampire, don't lose your sh!t over it. Just don't read it. It really is that simple. I'm not saying Twilight is on the level of the classics, (because it is DEFINITELY not that good), but there are pretty good moments of writing among the sappy teen stuff. It was a fun break from finals and everything else. Nothing more.

Any girls who take it further than that are nuts. And #53: Jacob Black?! Last I checked forcing yourself on someone with your werewolf-y strength is not that hot either... Geez, kids, get a life and a real boyfriend, (see: not a mythical/fairy tale/horror story creature).

i'll vouch for twilight. it's a really good book. but people who say shit like that are so fucking retarded. i wonder how many relationships that book has destroyed or prevented.

#115, I understand that people like it. But hey, I love Girl, Interrupted... and I don't go around telling my friends that I wish they were in a mental institution.

#115, I think you are missing the point. The girl the OP mentioned has set an expectation for her partners that no one will never be able to meet.
Ever.
She will not be happy. The people that try to date her will be not be happy.
Just because she cannot distinguish fantasy from reality

number 1 ftw.

#119, even if you did, my point is, don't judge someone that you don't even know, or even a group of people. Everyone is so closed minded and judges everyone on what they wear, or what they like. But, did any of you EVER sit down with a twilight fan and talk with them? So what. I bet there are tons of things you guys are fans of, and you should be able to tell people how much you like it with out getting hated on, don't you think?

#117, tell me where my mistakes are.
I know the capitalization after the colon, that's a habit of mine, but other than that?
Point out one more mistake. :]

Your post was well thought out, though, and I have to agree with most of it.

I personally was a major vampire fan before, and now I have to specify that I don't like the sparkly kind. They aren't really "vampires". I like Angel, Dracula, etc. If Stephanie Meyers wanted to create a new kind of creature to stalk teenage girls, she could have at least gone with an original name, too.

You're lucky she did this before you took her home and left. She could have acted like Bella, and went suicidal when you left, claiming you were her Edward. You very well could have been, in fact, if you threw glitter on yourself. He doesn't have fangs, after all.

#122, you're in your early teens aren't you? I bet you that most of these people, myself included, personally know, or are a friend-of-a-friend of a Twilight fan.

This is why Twilight is killing our society.

/I kid, I kid.

//But really, Twilight sucks.

#123: They are mostly just small comma errors, and I am of the mind that if you are going to correct grammar, you should probably have impeccable grammar yourself, right down to the littlest part. It's true that she could have thought up an original name, but if you did actually read the books, you'll note that she either came up with or researched many alternative names. According to all of the stories she cited in the first book, the "vampires" have different names in different cultures. If I remember correctly, Bella assumed they were some type of benevolent vampire from Italy. I don't know if Meyers thought it up herself, but she's going with the "every story is different" thing, so I respect it.

Either way, should we really all be arguing about what does or does not make a "real" vampire? Last I checked, they aren't "real" at all... Or maybe OP's new chick is right, and we should all be looking for sparkly, pale, gorgeous blood-suckers???

#125, why does it matter how old I am. For all you know, I could be an adult, an old woman, a 10 year old, a teen...... etc. Why does it matter???

I'm favoriting this.

#128, just making an observation.

#122: I think all of the "haters" have a point. The majority of the tween readers of Twilight are spectacularly crazy. Some of you aren't. But, seriously, a lot of you are...

#131, who's "you"? And like I said have you met EVERY SINGLE twilight fan? Who are you to judge?

#130, your observation was wrong.

You don't need to meet every single person in a group to understand the general behavior of them


/end obnoxiousness.

#132: I am a Twilight fan. And the "you" would be the plural "you," as in tween Twilight fans. If you are not a tween/teen, I apologize. But the ones who are and who advocate vampire love, (even though they are not *real*), make a bad name for the ones who are at least semi-normal and either keep it to themselves or don't try to mesh a FICTION book with the real world.

Twilight was an awful book that was terribly written and deserves no literary praise what so ever. It was only ever liked because everyone fell in love with that fricking vampire and now won't shut up about him. Welcome to the real world, people like Edward don't exist, and if they did they'd be commonly known as "fucking weird stalkers."

#135, you make a good point, but at the same time, I just get pissed because everyone is so goddamn judgmental.

Edward Cullen is charming, but she's a little overboard. You should've just said fuck off & walked away :P

Well at least she had unreal expectations of you. You would've felt worse if she'd said "I wish you were funny" or "I wish you were good looking". At any rate, count yourself lucky for dodging that crazy bullet of a relationship. =)

#19 ftw xD
I've read twilight a couple of years ago and still reread It every now and then.
I don't care if it contains typos or grammatical mistakes I like it. I wouldn't do what your date did ofcourse, since it's downright stupid.fan girls annoy me to the core. I'm 14 yo.
I also think Edward's perfect! But I never fantasized about him or Jacob or any other character cause it's weird and only people with no life do it. So go ahead make fun of the bitch in the OP's FML but don't make fun of the books or the fans cause that'll only show how fuckin stereotypical you are.
Twilight movie sucked ass.
Jonas brothers are pussies don't compare them to twilight :)

Yay my first ever fml comment!
going back to #19, I read a TON, it just happens to be things worth being read, not some stupid pop fiction for little girls who think being stalked by a homosexual vampire is the most romantic thing ever. Maybe if Twilight fans read some real worth while literature they would realize how twilight is just a dime store romance novel with no real story and a ton of mushy shit that just proves Stephenie Meyer can not write, and lives in a demented dream world of her own.

There's already a few FMLs like this.

#117- I think you were referring to me, but I'm not sure. I think I was the only one who mentioned Jacob Black. But I was only joking :).

Hey maybe she was looking to you kissing her neck? Maybe you were too slow?

I feel sorry for Robert P. Lol being the posterboy as "the perfect man". TI loved the books and the movie

oh wow, cupcake.

I wonder if a female vampire tries to suck back her own blood when she is on her period? :-?

This was the most fun FML to read the comments on. Thanks all, I had a good laugh.

Oh, and OP: that sucks, cock-blocked by twilight, that sucks. At least my g/f who read twilight said I was like Edward except not all stalkerish.

I guess i win? lol

OP: Thank you for posting this FML, these are quite possibly some of the most hilarious comments I've ever read. xD

I read all the Twilight books. I liked the first one. It didn't completely suck me in the way Harry Potter did, but I liked it enough to read the second one. That one wasn't as good, but I have this thing where I always have to know what happens next so I read the third one. That one was even worse. I had to force myself to read the fourth one (which sucked ass, by the way)

Edward is obsessive and stalker-ish. As for that Mary-Sue they call Bella AKA Miss "I fascinate everybody for no reason whatsoever", I don't think I've ever disliked a main character so much. These fangirls make me sad. At which point I think "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, out in theaters July 17!" and life seems so much brighter.

Didn't watch the movie or read the books, because I'm not a 12 year old girl.

You should have pulled out a razor and grinned, saying, "Oh...but i am. May I have a drink?"

You would be surprised...

Twilights pretty good...
but I think that girl was a little obsessed, dont you think?

Dude that sucks. I got no issues with Twilight until kids turn all fangirl. It shouldn't affect their daily life.. but unfortunately it does.
But now you know! Before you take a girl out, ask her if she's ever read it. If she has, how much did she like it?

Fucking TWILIGHT!

wow, a similar thing happened to me, fucking Stephanie Meyer had to create a BSed boy that all the girls are obssesed with because they are all drowing in their own fucking pool of estrogen, in my opinion you are lucky it didn't go any further she sounds like a crazy freak who was no life and just re reads twilight bcuz she doesnt understand its a fucking fiction story.

#139,

LOL. Trudat.

#127: About my comma errors, I use commas as I use pauses in speech. It's how they were originally used, and that's what I use them for. In my opinion, the current etiquette, or style, for using commas is a degeneration of the language. Sorry if you disagree.

And true, there are different kinds of vampires according to culture, but I prefer authors who are original enough to create an entirely new species. It would have given her even more room for creativity and originality, as well.

And anyways, that's simply one of my problems with the books. All in all, I think that if the basic story idea had been given to a different author, it could have been an amazing book. As is, it is not.

Also, I notice your grammar is somewhat flawed as well, but then again, whose isn't? ;D

#156: Commas used for the sake of pauses are known as "comma splices." If you disagree with the rules of grammar, I respect that, but my case is that you can't really comment on others' grammar errors if you don't follow the rules yourself.

And I never claimed to be perfect with my grammar. Just for shits and giggles, however, I'd like to know my grammar faux pas?

Edward *drools*

haha sucks to be you. you should have just grabed her and bitten her neck... in a nice way obveously ;)

#156: I note you're talking to yourself, there. ;D

But in your previous comment, you said littlest instead of smallest, things like that.
No big deal, just something I pointed out for fun.

And when people say "lol ur retrded" and things like that, I feel that anyone with a third grade education in grammar has a right to correct them. Sorry.

Also, I learned a different definition for comma splices. Interesting. I'll have to look that up.

Me and my mates got hold of a copy of twilight, we replaced like every word in it with penis, it sounds so much better now, i think they should release our revised addition of ... PENISLIGHT

Hmmm, nevermind abut the talking to yourself thing, #154.

Before I refreshed it, it said you were 156. How sad. :[

I think the people who liked the book should realise that liking a crap book is not something to be proud of. You can keep repeating over and over that you're not a crazy-Twi-fan or whatever; doesn't mean your taste in books is any better.

I have read the books (I also like to finish something I start unfortunately) and I enjoy some other crap books. But even the crap books I enjoy walk all over Twilight in terms of literary prowess and character development. My advice: go find something worthwhile to read. There are plenty of other books on the shelf. Once you've read them, you won't feel like you've wasted your time in some poorly-structured fantasy world. Come on, what kind of weak name is 'Renesmee'? I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life than when Stephanie Meyer pulled that one out of her teen-hormone-consumed brain.

And to be honest, the only redeeming moment for me (in the last book) was the near-battle between the vampire clans. But she couldn't even follow through with it; she had to try to be smart and end it with barely-peaceful negotiation. Like this isn't the most rehashed and unoriginal ending to a fictional story ever. She just didn't have the literary talent to follow through with an actual action scene (or she just couldn't be bothered?). Most disappointing ending ever?

Good work # 157 you guys should try to find a publisher. If Meyer did you sure could! Seriously.

haha, that was probably ehr nice way of saying she didnt like u. if not, thenshes psycho. i am a fan girl, but not a freak. the books were great. and 4 the guys that say edward was unrealistic and girls shouldnt like him, helloooo? have u looked in the mags lately, there r pics of of shiny pretty big boobed models everywhere, so dont tell me my fictional boyfriend is unrealistic XP ;P

#158: Hahaha that is of course not the "textbook" definition of a comma splice. It is, however, splitting up a sentence incorrectly when a comma is used at every pause. And the word littlest is, in fact, a word. It's a synonym for smallest, true, but it is also a word unto itself.

The point of my whole rant was that everyone, (Twilight lovers, haters, creepers, and all those in between), has been using atrocious grammar. You blamed it all on the Twilight fans. I found some of those comments to be the most coherent, actually.

LOL at #47. Nice!

turns to her and say... my middle name is "Lestat"... Lestat and Louis is way cooler than Edward

#159: Hahaha I think Twilight fans who have read better books do realize that it's crap. Many of us have said so. It was easy to read, and we enjoyed the storyline. That being said, Bella is a damn moron and an annoyance, and, yes, Renesmee was the most annoying name I've ever heard of. I think, however, that this is because the character is a twit.

#161: Your fictional boyfriend?! It's phrases like that which make people dislike people who are obsessed with the books. You can admire his actions, sure, but calling him your fictional boyfriend is a bit much.

OK fair enough # 165, just wanted to point it out :P I'll stop ranting now, it's just so fun to have such an easy target

She could have been talking about another vampire. There are a lot of vampire stories out there, and many girls have developed a crush on Lestat or other vampires.

Twilight is a mediocre piece of literature at best, but it OBVIOUSLY appeals to its designated audience, so it accomplished its goal. People need to stop hating on it so much and let the teenage girls have their fun. It's making crack a book who wouldn't read anything otherwise.

And the argument "Stephenie Meyer breaks every vampire rule!" has no ground. A lot of people ASSUME Dracula is the first vampire novel, when it most certainly is not. The penny dreadfuls, Varney the Vampire, were published in Victorian Era England, Camilla was published before Dracula, as well as many others. Dracula didn't come around until 1897 (if I remember correctly). There are a ton of differences between all of these novels. Yes, Stephenie Meyer's was the most different, but at least she had some originality in that respect.

It was believed that vampires were suicide victims, how many stories do you know who kept up with that? Yes, a few stories said that the vampire had to be invited into the home, but not all. Before you start accusing Stephenie Meyer of not following the vampire code, perhaps you should educate yourself more than just watching the Dracula movie.

Throw very fine glitter in her eyes. Then everyone can sparkle in the sunlight for her and she can think EVERYBODY is a freaking vampire.

hahaha. i'm sorry but this was hilarious. i just think that fans should realize they will never find a real life Edward. If they are waiting for that, i'm sorry but they will just never find it.

HAHA. Twilight Is a pretty good Novel. I mean if it wasnt it wouldnt be so popular and they wouldnt make it into a movie. But Come on yall. Its Fantasy. Thats IT. Its not real. Period. Edward is not going to show up on your doorstep and you are not going to get chased by a vampire that "loves the Hunt" some people are just Dillusional

I sympathize with the OP. My fucking girlfriend gets angry when I tell her vampires aren't real.

#26: I haven't read Twilight, and have no desire to. But doesn't it seem a tiny bit hypocritical to talk about how stupid and pathetic one fantasy world is and promote Harry Potter instead? It targets nine-year-olds, love.

Post above this: Jaysus. Insist that she check under your bed for dragons or something.

Another Twitard who will spend the rest of her life looking for "Edward" and will wind up lonely, sad, and alone, except for maybe a couple cats. Or bats. Sucks for the moment, but better off without such a person in the long run.

ydi for not being a vampire.

Ok he's not metro that's the point duh, he's just perfect and gorgeous. And a LOT of people like twilight, just because you don't doesn't mean you have to trash talk it. And to everyone saying "he's a stalker who wants that" its because he protects her DUH! So don't say he stalks her when you don't know wtf you're talking about!

# 26. You deserve to have your face rubbed against concrete for claiming that Harry Potter is any better than Twilight. If there was NOT all this hype about the book series I bet half of you who are ripping it would have loved it. Any one who is a crazy fan of anything is annoying, not just the Twilight girls. You sound ignorant.

hurm...
well anyone who hates twilight - its kind of sad to hate an inanimate object...
And really, people are looking for the gentleman that Edward is, not a watch you sleep vegetarian vampire. They just don't know it yet.
and FYL btw :)

Bella decided to forgo college to marry a stalker vampire straight out of high school, risking her life to bear his children. That's not love, that's stupidity. She has no self-respect. Is that the kind of role model we want for young girls today?

OP, I think you should be glad, because that girl is probably living in a fantasy world.

Second, to those who say the OP deserved that... Please, grow up. Vampires aren't perfect creatures who sparkle and fall in love with uninteresting girls. No. Really. They're supposed to be monsters who suck you dry and move on with their immortal lives. Or atleast, that's what they've become over time. You know, maybe, just maybe, you can invent your own original vampire and complain less about Edward.

So, in conclusion, if I were the OP, I would've taken a chunk out of her neck. Maybe then she'll get the hint: Be careful what you wish for.

Other than that, I lolled.

And this is why Twilight needs to be banned. Also, I agree with #182.

I read the book and watched the movie. I really liked both, but I've read better books. and I don't get people's obsession over this shit n how their life revolves around it. she's weird.

So what was she? Insane goth or twilight tween?

@ 50.

Way to be sexist.
I am a female, and I do not obsess over ridiculous love stories or pop icons, such as you mentioned.
"This really ticks me off..." Well it pisses me off that you are so caught up in pop culture that you think that only females get carried away with this kind of obsessive behavior. I made the mistake of going into a bookstore the night "Breaking Dawn" was released, and I would like to point out that inside of said store, there were as many males as there were females.

So shut the fuck up.

Not that it is a good thing to be that obsessed, but my god, you all act like this movie and its fictional characters are the the first thing that people have been obsessed with.

I am sure most major movies/tv shows have fans that are obsessed. Can we say Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, etc.........which I might add I do like, but we all KNOW that each one of those have some obsessed fans!

Others prefer to be obsessed with real people, like celebrities. I am sure their are countless girls and probably some gay boys with Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Orlando Bloom, etc posters covering their walls.

Just like I am sure there are boys and some lesbians with Angelina Joli, Britney Spears, etc posters covering their walls.

I am not sure how old the girl is that the OP encountered, but hopefully she is young and will soon outgrow her obsession.

hahah that really sucks
but if shes weird enough to say it you definitely got off easy

Don't date girls obsessed with Twilight.

fuck edward cullen

#164

Somebody whip and Anne Rice book at her head.

I find it funny how everyone takes this FML as a chance to insult people over Twilight. Yes; I am a HUGE Twilight fan; but I do realize that ther is no one like Edward Cullen out there. Nor would I want there to be. I'm not a big Edward fan, I'm more of a Jacob lover.
and not all Twilight fans are insane...(like the OP's date)I live in the real world. Yes, I talk about Twilight all the time..but Twilight is a good book series. I bet half of the people here who claim to have read the whole series, really havent. I hate how people just hate Twilight because everyone else likes it. You're trying to be different, we get it; but it makes you look like a retard who can't agree with anything.
Everyone insulting Twilight/Stephenie Meyer (yeah, if you're going to damn someone, wishing them dead, spell their name right. your idiotic spelling kind of takes away from your insult)/ fans are pathetic.

OP; FYL. She's a nutjob.

I don't know much about Twilight but anything that slows down the reproductive process of all these teenagers with goofy swooped haircuts, huge sunglasses, black tights and hot pink hoodies can't be all bad.

Bad luck and extreme misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity.

F**k Edward Cullen!! It's a freakin' vampire for god sake! Starting from there that kind of "man" doesn't exist.

#191... WIN. That was priceless. Thank you.

Fuck Edward Cullen! You're better off without that twitard anyways.

Obsessive Twilight fans get on my nerves. >_>
Gahh, there are too many of them.

I haven't read twilight (I kinda tried, but I didn't like the way it was written..), so I'm not going to critize it. On the other hand, I've been around "twitards" in real life and on the internet and I must say it makes me wish those books never existed !
It's you choice to like (or dislike) this book, but still... Many fans say "I can make the difference between fantasy and reality" but hearing every morning girls fangirling on Edward (eventhough they clearly understand that he's not real) is f*cking annoying. Many girls are fangirling over many things, but let's just say that IN GENERAL, those all over "their Edward" are the loudest and the most numerous.

OP: you got lucky :D

Murder her in her sleep.

Twilight has ruined 99% of all teenage girls.

Stupid Twilight series. Those are the most stupidest, pointless books ever written. You can do way better than some stupid fangirl who wants her lifemate to sparkle.

I don't think Meyer is a good writer: this has nothing to do with her ideological stances. I just feel that the prose is very mundane, the metaphors expected, the similes boring and the lyricism uninspired (or unworthy of the term 'lyrical'). And I am not talking about a book I haven't read.

Anyway, my question as a woman is more why men want girls who (quite independently of their liking for Twilight) obviously don't have a single brain cell in their heads. FML that the girl is like that, but as an embittered girl, YDI for going for all the dumb ones

o man that sucks edward collins was so fuckin gay and ugly in that dumb pieces of shit moive. i havnt even seen it i have a life and more intresting things to do you have told her o well i wish you were a stripper

i fucking hate being around girls that start talking about this fairy tale fucking vampire bullshit. "i deserve a guy like eeeeedddwarrrrrd"
i dont understand how this twilight phenomena has gotten so many girls to believe that somewhere there is a magical passionate pale duechebag looking for their fat ass specifically.
any girl who ever pulls this shit and leaves their man for a fucking story should play in traffic. thats like men dumping their girlfriend because they aren't jenna jameson or megan fox.

LOL thats hilarious srrry' u better find another girl
and 4 those idiots who r calling twilights fans idiots WATCH IT I HAPPEN TO BE A TWILIGHT FANS SO SHUT THE HELL UP anc am not that crazy so dnt blame it on twilight blame it on the girl twilight hs nuthin 2 do with it

haha yeah it most likely is from that freaky sparkling vampire novel "Twilight"... sorry man. On a lighter note, maybe she meant that she wanted you to be like an Anne Rice, Darren Shan, Lynsay Sands, Kim Harrison, or Sherrilyn Kenyon type vampire; they're way cooler...

it's so funny how a fictional vampire is getting more ass in the united states than any guy in the world

hahaha twilight freaks

Cockblocked by Edward Cullen and his merry gang. Sucks dude.

lmao.

haha. that was very Twilight of her.

i don't understand why people are so obsessed with twilight....i've been trying to read the book for months and i can't get through it because its so shitty.

on the bright side, you at least found out early that she was a freak and can move onto someone better.

You should have replied "I am!" and bitten off her nipple.

LOOK at what TWILIGHT HAS DONE!

#205/6 (The bad typer, because it keeps changing the comment #)
Learn how to type before trying to tell people off.

ROFL this is one of the best FMLs I've seen. It was just so random and unexpected.

Haha, that's awesome. Twilight strikes again.

Damn you Twilight!!!! I refuse to read the damn book!!! lol Sucks for you tho. I have friends like that who go around with "TEAM EDWARD" on their shirts and backpacks. Annoying. Well at least you don't hafta worry bout her insanity anymore.

#1 has the right idea. Twilight ruined your evening. FYL indeed.

To #167 -

Did you get bored looking up every single detail on vampire history?

*Cough* Get a job *cough*

come on guys this is so fake, we've seen Twilight FMLs before... unless there's something really wrong with girls (or you guys) so that they're all choosing fictional creatures instead of real people

come on guys this is so fake, we've seen Twilight FMLs before... unless there's something really wrong with girls (or you guys) so that they're all choosing fictional creatures instead of real people

Hahahahahaha I am so sorry.

Another girl ruined by Twilight.

thats sad....thats so damn sad...lol what a pathetic ho

FUCK TWILIGHT!!!

Hey, twilight is good and all, but really, if you ditch a guy 'cause he isn't a vampire, you need to get a reality check and get slapped in the face. Sure, I LOOOVE Twilight, one of the best stories I read. BUT i wouldnt do that. that sucks, man fyl

FUCK STEPHANIE MEYER.

edward cullen

omg dude i feel so bad 4 u, my gf is OBSESED with that stuff, but 'parrently i look a little like the guy who plays edward on the movie 0.0

Oh noes! Mr. Edward Sparklepants does it again! He gets his image of faeries in a young girls head, and then basically screws EVERY guy over! Sorry to hear that dude.

Daaamn that sux,
one day I will read those books just for situations like this

#30: I'm a freshman, and I write better than SMeyer.

LOL at 7!!!

FFS I fucking hate Twilight now you know, all of my friends have gone proper crazy over it. Stupid ho's. ¬¬

that sucks dude, so many other fmls like that. I hate twilight too if it makes u feel any better

That's when you run after her and bite her neck.


And then run away, because the silly girl will probably call the cops.

WTF WTF Funny funny funny

since vampires are technically dead shes a necrophiliac

fuck twilight

you dodged a bullet. She may be hot, but she's crazy as fuck.

she wants someone more like Edward, lol.

See, that's what Twilight is doing to people. I freaking hate that stupid series, it sucked. It's taking over the minds of people! D:< I'm probably one of the only teenage girls that can say that they hate Edward Cullen and couldn't even stomache reading through the first book. :P

FUCKING TWILIGHT LOSER!

Hi #19 here, and first im not trying to stereotype people who dont like twilight. Second how can Edward ruin the name vampire, vampires suck blood and kill people THEYRE ALL ABUSIVE. Next Im not Twihard. Harry Potter was way better, and i like other vampire books, like i love Amelia Altwater Rhodes. So to everyone who commented hating me SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP!!!!!

I love Twilight as much as the next person. I thought it was a good book. Well good enough to fill my time while waiting to read actual good works of literature. But, it's taking over people's hold on reality. All of this Twilight, Edward, Vampire fantasies and stuff are not healthy. They are fake. Make believe. And no matter how hard you wish for it, it's never going to happen. Fantasize about real people.

But, I was also thinking about something. There are such things as vampires. Not the Hollywood or Twilight types of vampires. But actual people who drink blood, sleep in coffins, etc.... Maybe she meant that.

#175: Excuse me while I laugh. What would you call someone who sneaks into your house to watch you sleep at night, and then tries to justify it by saying: "Oh, I was protecting you"? That sounds like something an obsessed stalker would say, attempting to protect himself from getting into trouble.

Also, no where in the books did it give a descrition that made me think "Edward is perfect and gorgeous", considering that he looks and feels like a living statue.

And I agree with #124.

One last thing: If anyone wants to bash me for "Not reading the whole series", I have. I've read every book, and still think that it's pathetic that SMeyer can't use figurative language unless she's describing how *AMAZING* Edward is.

number 183 all I'm saying is that you don't see guys walking around saying I wish you were a vampire like Edward Cullen, do you? No you don't so you go fuck yourself

#227 I suggest you get her name right. Pffff....
Btw most of judge twilight based on the crappy movie! Also these dumb lifeless fan girls are ruining the fun.
Twilight is good! Stephenie is brilliant!

FUCK TWILIGHT AND ALL DELUSIONAL TWILIGHTERS.

I completely agree with #1. Twilight has ruined so many relationships (including one of mine) that it's sickening. Fuck that stupid bitch who wrote it, and fuck every stupid brainless girl who likes Twilight.

Willing to bet most of those who clicked YDI only did so cause he isn't a vampire, which they may believe is his fault.

Fuck the psychotic twilight fans like the girl you met, they ruin this world. The normal ones I'm fine with though.

number 183 all I was saying was that you don't see guys going around saying oh I wish Edward cullen was my boyfriend

maybe her feet were tired and she was hoping you could make like cullen and jump through trees with her.

OMGZZZ, I LUV EDWARD CULLLEN
HE EIZ SO DAZZZLING ND SPARKLINNNG,
I WISH EVERY GUY WERE LIKE DAT!!!


not. =.=

#19, haha. It's fans like you who get so worked up over everything that create such stereotypes.

"Twilight was a good book (don't hate on a book who sold that many copies). So #1,2,6 and 7, maybe if you read more you can talk about more than the ONE book you read just so you can make fun of it. Your pathetic."

I've read all four. I even went to the midnight release of the 4th one to debate with a couple fans and by the end of the night had them convinced that it wasn't a book to take so seriously. : )

Furthermore, the number of copies a book sells has no bearing on the quality of the work. It only goes to show how capitalism can work in mysterious ways. For example, the Pet Rock, a trend of the 70's.

haha.u should've been a vampire.
i wish that to0 though.
FUCK YOU TWILIGHT HATERS!!!!!! PIECES OF SHIT!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL AND BURN!!!!!!!!

# 2 - AGREED.

FUCK Edward Cullen I'd rather have Rhett Buttler any day.

o and sorry man that sucks but you're better off without her.

dude. this girl sounds like a fucking idiot. i was one of those people who read twilight before it was popular and i think they were okay, but they aren't a guide to life, for fucks sake. people take them way too seriously. she should go read interviews with a vampire. its way better.

that is exactly why i refuse to read twilight. twilighters need to stop whining and realize that edward is FICTIONAL and REAL men are not going to be like him. get off your damn pedistal, twilight fan girls!

that sucks for you, though. sorry bout that.

It was Twilight wasn't it. Dude any girl that loves Twilight is an idiot (I say this as a straight girl who's read all four of the books). Worst writing ever and abusive boyfriends and boring main charecters. Never go out with a Twilight fan they are insane. Your better of without her

I couldn't agree more with most of these comments. I was forced to read the twilight series by my friend, [under contract], and I DO NOT understand the whole twilight obsession. He's just a character. in a book. he's not real. get over it! ---- and guys, vampires die in the sunlight. they do not **sparkle**. ugh.

you should have said well maybe i am lol...stupid twilight books

LOOL,
edward cullen

I wonder how many relationships Twilight has fucked up. The most disturbing part of it all is the fact that all these girls have been brainwashed into thinking Edward Cullen is the perfect boyfriend. He's a total stalker.

Damn Edward!! I still can't believe how many stories I've heard like this. Sucks dude.

God Damn twilight is ruining everything for us guys and the stephaine whats her name who wrote the book was high when she came up with them im not even kidding

I doubt Stephenie Meyer was high. The books are based off of dreams and sexual fantasies she had. She's a middle aged, chubby Mormon woman in a shitty marriage. All that + the ability to write something that will hold most preteen girls' attention = Twilight series.

so...lads are pissed because they aren't getting laid anymore. Ohno, fuck off and stop criticising twilight. Just 'cause you're so lame that girls prefer a fictional vampire.

OMG could be attack of those friggin twihearts? That seriously sucks, but maybe it's better off that she walked away. I have found that most obsessive twilight fanigirls AKA twihearts, usually have some deep seeded problems that would come back and bite you in the a** later.

I mean, there is nohing wronge in liking the book, but when the lines between fantasy and reality blur something is off. When people start obsessing over fictional characters, that sparkle in the sun for christs sake, then something is wronge.

I completely agree with # 266 and #270
Edward is not only a stalker but also a pediphile, and Bella is pretty much a necrophiliac.
pedophile + necrophiliac = Twilight fangirl fantasy

that's kind of hilarious, but also ridiculous.
honestly, i'm a teenager and i don't get why so many people are so obsessed with Twilight,
it's not even any good tbh.

just because the girl said vampire doesn't mean she was talking about edward/twilight. why does twilight have to be brought into anything vampire related? and did any of you stop to think that maybe the girl was just a freak?

Should've bitten her.

Until she died.

ahahaha classic!

better look for some vampire bats

god damn twilight

#269
finally someone with a goddamn brain

omg twilight is the stupidest shit in the world

she needs to be killed. Shoot the cunt

Twilight -- The ultimate cock-block.

you can blame twilight on that one. Maybe you should sparkle in the daylight. That'll get you the girls.

if you're gonna make it up you might as well make it funny or a little bit interesting

Twilight claims victim to yet another delusional female.

If nothing else, a girl that would allow such a ridiculous fantasy to influence their love life would be an idiot in other ways, too, and so you're lucky for getting out of that.

this doesn't have anyhing to do with twilight
she was on her period and wanted you to eat her out

Cockblocked by a stupid fantasy book.
FYL

I love how many comments this one FML has... I'm gunna feed the fire: Twilight (I've never read, don't need to) is probably very poorly written and butchers vampires. Why do girls like it? Most of the girls that read it are girls that have never read a book for pleasure. I read books all the time, my sisters don't. Suddenly, they are going bat-shit crazy over these twilight books. They don't know anything about good literature, but my sister tells me that I should be more like Edward.

I like being alive, thank you.

As for the OP, you really are lucky. This would be her post: "Today I went out with another guy that isn't a vampire and I'm still alive. FML"

I apologize, but every Twilight fan is crazy, because they (the books) are awful. It's not even real literature. I'm usually a proponent of any and all books, but I would love to ban the author from ever writing anything down, ever again. EVER. Poorly written, she deserves to work at a tabloid mag instead of writing books. twilight- "Oh edward ****bag, love me forever and ever, and let's have little annoying gits for children". Not-so-real life where vampires exist- "Edwa-" #CHOMP# , "see you the **** later, mcdinner".

LOL!!!
another twilight fan
u should have bit her
she probably wouldnt have walked away
i love twilight... but seriously, thats so ridiculous to
even wish something like that

Look at all you haters. People are obsessed with pop culture. How far they let it get into their own lives is the disturbing thing. Books are amazing for escape, and it's part of being a teenager to have unrealistic fantasies, but there's a fine line. This girl is not worth your time, clearly!

SHE'S TOTALLY A POSER FANGIRL!!! REAL Twilight fangirls such as myself are sane enough to know that vampires dont exist and we'll find our Edward someday in the form of a human because REAL men dont sparkle. Honestly, you're lucky.

its hilarious that people are blaming a book or fictional character for the failure of their relationships aha, the only way that happened is if after reading the books they just relized how much of a dick the guy they were with actually were. So blame yourselfsss haha

and the chances that this actually happened , slim to nil!

I think successful troll is successful?

This is what Twilight is doing to the world. Why did that book have to happen? And ye' know, it's funny. So many people seem to hate it so much...but somehow I never see anyone that's actually a fan. Where are they hiding?

omg. she said she wished you were a vampire? What is wrong with girls these days? Maybe you should apologise for not wanting to suck her blood or having the ability to absentmindedly crush buildings with a flick of your finger. She probably wants you to stalk her too. What fabulous boyfriend qualities

don't worry if their that obsessed their not worth it

See everyone. Twilight ruins life's.

Just remember this people...
Beauty...fades.
Stupidity...usually stays.
That girl needs a better grip on reality...and just let her go, there's definitely someone much better for you

Damn Twilight.

omg. i love twilight!

people are saying they don't see fans too often well I'm a HUGE fan.

I don't go around telling guys I wish they were vampires though, which separates me from this girl.
btw, there are a lot of qualities in edward that many girls do love, which is why they cling to that idea of a boy (and I'm not talking about being able to crush buildings with a flick of ur finger or suck blood.)
but maybe just the way Edward is like super in love and super loyal to Bella. Someone who can protect her always =]

ilovetwilight.!
and i say it proudly.!

mate, if she dumped u for a fictional vampire then she's definitely not worth your trouble.
move on and find a girl who likes humans.
she'll be lonely for a long time if she rejects people for not being Edward f***ing Cullen =)

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE LIKE TWILIGHT? ARE YOU ALL BLIND?!
I really don't care if you're "not a fangirl" you just "omg i love the book", you are still a fucking idiot, as the novel itself is simply the worst pile of trash I have ever had the misfortune of reading and you're actually getting sucked into it? Christ, do us all a favour and stop fingering yourself over a fictional characer.

Edward Cullen

#1 you are 100% right! TWILIGHT GO TO HELL!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!

#293, the funny part is, that's the number one card played by girls that are huge fans of Twilight in defense of girls that end relationships because they're holding out for someone like "Edward." It's pathetic and laughable.

My sister happens to be a rabid Twilight fan also. She gets very angry when people start bashing either the books or Edward. I'm going to have to start calling her Twitard.

omg. i really do hope your kidding. D:

# 9, # 10 lol!
im a twilight fan cause its a cute love story but it doesnt matter that all you people are bashing the books cuz there are a lot of fans.
i am also a mass harry potter fan and let me tell you one thing:
stephanie meyer is the shitiest writer that ever got a book published- the only thing thats good about her books is the story, harry potter is amazing and jkr is amazing

YDI for not being a vampire

YDI for not being a vampire

301 :)
you said it- its a good love story and im a fan and it doesnt deserve all this bashing
exceot for the fact that stephanie meyer is a shit writer :)

I'm a 16 year old girl who despises Twilight. Yes, I've read all four books. It nearly killed me, but for the sake of being able to debate things with other people, I did it.

I seriously doubt the people who say they fall in love with Edward Cullen because he's so "loyal", "kind" and whatever. If Edward Cullen looked like a "nerd", would you still love him? What about if he were chubby?

It all comes down to superficiality. Most Twilight fans are just in love with this perfect, gorgeous, "Adonis"-like guy who happens to be a vampire. I don't even think the vampires in Twilight count as vampires. They're more like gods - they have no flaws, and the only things the author took out of vampire mythology to pass them off as vampires is pretty much the fact that they drink blood, and that they're conveniently immortal.

fcuking edward cullen.

well im a majorrr twilight fan..all of you that say the book is shitt and girls need to get out of the fantasy worllddd well fuck youu. the writing is fantasticcc. and i am not a 1 time reader i read a lot of book snad all diff. kinds too. girls who read it maybe we read it cuz guys in this world r so fuckign bad. so rlly all u guys tht so were so obssesed and shit, mayb there jhust syaing it to piss you off and get out of the situation=] so stop blaming it on us.

but for youu...the guy tht wrote the fml..it sounds like thigns were going well between u 2 soo i think this girl might b alittlee crazyy, so im sorry for thatt.

I love how there's three times the comments once something related to Twilight appears in an FML.

But yes, that's to be expected. I agree with the other comments, I read the series and I think Twilight is a horrible influence on not only teens but adults, too. It makes you want perfection in yourself and others, and guess what, no one's gonna find that.

I wonder which people on here read for the experience, and which people read to pretend/prove that they are intellectually advanced?? I liked the books (omg, better discredit my opinion now). I also liked the "Drizzt" series, Lord of the Rings, Little Women, The Client, Pride and Prejudice, MacBeth, The DaVinci Code, and countless other books because I was able to relate to the characters and enjoy the story. I will admit that the Twilight series leaves little to interpretation and doesn't necessarily inspire thought beyond the context of the story (which is also an enjoyable experience--more of this can be found in the Harry Potter series so I do find myself in agreement with some people on here), but that does not mean that people who read it and like it are "fucking idiots". I don't think you have to like Twilight, you're entitled to your own opinion; I just mean to say it is entirely opinion and no one is right or wrong, there is no basis for criticizing fans of novels. Well, unless they take their "opinions" to an extremely public and inappropriate level as the girl in this situation did, lol. There is clearly something wrong with a person mentally when they believe fictional characters actually exist. FYL indeed my friend.

FUCK TWILIGHT i used to like it! i really did! now its as worse as jonas brothers, and all that shit!!!!!


by the way, im a girl.

i dunno what twilight has to do with anything. he wouldn't got lucky anyways. i say weird things to get girls off my back b/c it's funnier that way. rejection is a rejection. sounds like my kinda girl.

damn you twilight

Anyone who thinks women don't get like that about Twilight are kidding themselves.

I got linked a profile from a dating site a couple of days ago that says under the "What I'm looking for" section: Must look like Edward Cullen or be a real Vampire.

She was 21.

Srsly, WTF.

#315, stop typing like an idiot. Don't add letters at the end of each word. Twilight blows.

to OP, that really sucks. This book has ruined way too many relationships.

you're not a vampire, ylif

How the hell do you know she was talking about Twilight?
She may just have a general intrest in vampires, I mean i always have -.-
And yeah, i do like Twilight, it keeps me intertained. But Twilight is also about humans & werewolves. People get a life and stop griping about a book, you don't know that she's talking about Edward
Oh, and OP, you should've bitten her on the neck if you wanted her, BEFORE she walked away. Anyhoo, best of luck finding a girl that doesn't have such high standards :)

Jesus, girls need to get over Edward! HE'S NOT REAL.
I feel really bad for all the guys.

Wow, another Twitard. (I mean that in all respect, there's a lot of worse nicknames for them.) I feel really bad....She isn't worth it if she'd rather obsess over a glittery fictional character.

"EDWARD CULLEN! RUINING RELATIONSHIPS EVERYWHERE!"

There's a lot of nice ANTI- Twilight girls out there. Just keep looking. ^^

twilight is awesome that girl is damn right we all need our edward all guys should inspire to be edward, and since you cant be him (obviously) you should all struggle to come within a mile of his level.

Wow someones a tweaker haha sorry to here that happened to you!! at least you donthave to be surrouneded by those kind of people all the time...Twilight this Twilight that i mean come on shut the fuck up!

Bahahaha. Sorry. Love it.

That sucks. But the saddest thing is, that's something I would do. What has Twilight done to the world?

And that's the problem with Edward Cullen obsessed bitches these days >

hmmm try sucking on her neck next time lol

*rofl* I was told about this book just days ago. Wouldn't have thought that it already had such an impact :)

Y'know, I didn't think "Twilight" at first. My first thought was:

"She wants you to suck her blood and kill her? Maybe put her head on a stake? Romantic."

But maybe that's because I'm old-styled ;D

#27 that's because kristen stewart is a dicksuckingly terrible actress who needs to commit suicide

Just one more post to say "F@%$ Twilight!!".
Sorry bro, but at least you found out now, and not when she asked you to fly or some crap.

http://i719.photobucket.com/albums/ww196/organismal/Random%20Crap/1zfh98i.gif

that girl is ridiculous. because if you were a vampire you would kill her. and then she would be dead. and she doesn't really want that.

oh wow.
ANOTHER obsessed twilight fan.

maybe she just wanted to get away from you and "i wish you were a vampire" was her best excuse...? and a LAME one at that.

Oh!! Oh!! I know!

Just claim you are, bring her to your place, quietly stick your man-parts in the freezer and tah-dah!! You're in!

she should be stabbed. people like her are stupid. if you were actually a vampire, she would be dead...not getting laid or anything. lame.

Some girls take Twilight way too far...

Ahhh twilight sucks ass

Ahhh twilight sucks ass

Oh my God,
I'm a twilight fan, and this story pisses ME off.
Why do girls have crushes on fictional characters?
Blah.
Sorry bro.

Another retarded twilight fan??

ahh fuck twilight

I blame Stephenie Fucking Meyer.

HAHAHAH i would totally do this to someone
don't hate on twilight unless you've read the books.
your fault for lacking charm :p

I blame twilight, which sucked btw.

I love how no one can express themselves these days without dropping f-bombs all over the place.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I agree with 1 and 2. :/
She's clearly a freak anyway.
Twilight isn't a terrible book, but I don't see how it's so great.

#15, you are dumb. You don't think Edward could exist? What a fucking gem of incite; what are you going to realize next, that the Tooth Fairy realistically doesn't exist? Also, "people are to ignorant to realize he doesn't exist?" Lets break that sentence down.
Ignorance: Lacking knowledge or information.
What you actually said; people don't have the knowledge that Edward doesn't exist so they believe he does exist. Way to state the obvious.

Hahaha, #272, I've said that exact same thing many times. (The necro/pedo thing.)

twilight is the most over rated book i've ever had the displeasure of reading halfway through, this girl is pathetic, you can find a non-crazy girl to go out with, she is obviously retarded, seriously, she has to have some kind of mental problem...

Twilight is a great series and yes, it is stupid that people think Edward is actually real..
But no, they don't want perverted pedophiles and no, he doesn't follow her he just follows her scent because she is in danger.
The movie sucks btw, the books are way better.
And people that don't understand their bond is ignorant. Edward can't stay away from Bella, her scent is the most valuable and he has to continuosly restrain himself from biting her and she has to restrain her sexual impulses. It's a curse practically but what they share makes it worth it.

And yes, i did read each book 3 times.

Sorry about that, but if that we me and I was a guy I would of flat said well I wish you were 'celeb crush' then walked home, Twlight is a big relationship killer from what I am hearing, I am so glad to say that I aint into that...I

Sorry about that, but if that we me and I was a guy I would of flat said well I wish you were 'celeb crush' then walked home, Twlight is a big relationship killer from what I am hearing, I am so glad to say that I aint into that...I hope you worked things out with her if not then dude move on

Sorry about that, but if that we me and I was a guy I would of flat said well I wish you were 'celeb crush' then walked home, Twlight is a big relationship killer from what I am hearing, I am so glad to say that I aint into that...I hope you worked thing

great... another twighlight obsessed retard... you should be happy she left.

#357...way to make normal people hate Twilight obsessed girls even more.

...Tell them they smell good, at least their blood does and they'll be all over you. xD That and you can't be near them because you'll kill them, threaten them and stay far away

and say you'll meet up with them later in the morning when theres sunlight because your skin becomes 'amazing' and shiny.

pick up twilight fans like a snap.

that's kinda retarded.
shes not worth it if shes that into twilight.
not to mention that she will be very lonely considering vampires aren't real...

Lots of girls have vampire fantasies. Doesn't necessarily mean Twilight... Twilight almost kind of ruined vampires, actually...

I actually like Twilight because I read it when it first came out before people started becoming Twilight obsessed.
My opinion is that girls only like Edward because he's rich.

That sucks I'm sorry. Twilight is a good series as well as movie but those are fantasy characters. That's not cool of her to do that.

She watches way too many movies LOL she is Lame forget her :)

#22, Re: Edward - "He's obsessive, border line abusive, and crazy."

So much this. For a fictional character, whatever. For a real-life boyfriend? Yikes.

Try taking a bite out of her jugular vein and see if she still wishes you were a vampire.

@#1: YOU mam are the coolest girl in the world. Do you KNOW how annoying it is for me to have the name Cullen? It's HELL.

@OP: that's when you say "But I am. Did you know all vampires have large dicks?" and then get some.

#371 i agree 100% OP go back to her and say i really am and with a nice set of fake filed sharp vampire teeth take a good chunk out of her....or you could just get her parents to institutionalize her xD

Sorry to anyone who does, but I hate Twilight, and this just gives more fuel to the fight against its fanbase, being as they all now seem to want this perfect guy, whom just happens to be a vampire. someday they'll realize...someday...

@ #370:
I'm pretty sure Edwierdo Cullen doesn't have a large dick.

Oh, right- Silly me. I forgot he wasn't a real vampire.
Try Dracula, the original.

You're no Edward Cullen obviously.

#1 ftfw.

I'd of said to suck me off then.

#22. I would LOVE for Edward Cullen to appear on my doorstep as well....

So that I could kill that sparkly man -- Wait wut.

hahaha way to fail. next time just add body glitter and maybe you can at least get her in to your house and not just half way there.

Freaking Twilight. Really?

I was about to say, she watches too much twilight. Thank God she spared you. FHL

What she doesn't know that vampires have AIDs

YDI


For not being a Vampire...?

Cullen insane :S

OMG, that's hilarious!!

thank you #105! finally someone else thinks all these haters are just uncalled for.

Vampires are pretty damn sexy, regardless of the existence of Edward Cullen.

Bram Stoker, Anne Rice > Stephanie meyer.
I used to like twilight. Read it before it was near popular and now it's gone to shit. My sister is an obsessed fangirl who is convinced she is going to marry Rob Pattinson. I sympathize with the OP. Twlight book burning anyone?

*is laughing so much over here*
This is awesome XD
For what it's worth, I do have to give Twilight credit where it's due - yes, it raised expectations to a point where it's absolutely absurd, but that being said, it reinforced some basic expectations in general: when they say they want an Edward (aside from the bizarre stalkerish, controlling and posessive bullshit) I expect what they want is chivalry, devotion and someone to think the world of them, which I don't think is unrealistic or unfair, really. And if it is, well, I don't blame them for wanting a fictional character.
But what this chick said... "I wish you were a vampire"... may not be that kind of thing at all. Maybe she wants someone who sparkles, feels ice cold and rock hard, who burns with the desire to kill her and is so strong that he can't sleep with her without destroying her one way or another. Yeeeeaaaaaaah. Leave that well enough alone, my friend.
Also, #20 (Luckster) is totally right. SMeyer's vampires follow the same trait as the books - they are made to be obviously perfect, designed so that the only option is the inevitable "happily ever after" and everything is provided so that that end can be met with minimum effort. Apparently she (SMeyer) actually said she gave the characters as little personality as possible, so the readers could make up their own. I can't believe that kind of fuck up was actually INTENTIONAL. What kind of writing is that? If we wanted to make up characters, we'd write our own fucking books. Fuck you, SMeyer. Find another career path.

Omg..

Robert Pattinson..
As Edward Cullen..
Come on..
He's not even a real vampire..
Sure, Twilight is a good movie, but thats just.. Too much

Oh my God.

Fucking "Twilight" is taking over the goddamn world.
I'm thinking about drowning myself just so I don't have to hear about the "Twilight" shit any longer.
Oh, but wait, I'll probably end up hearing about it in hell, too, huh? Shit.

Just be happy the girl bailed -- maybe she ended up getting hit by a car or something.
Or! Kidnapped by Edward fuckin' Cullen. -_-

seriously, little girls love those ridiculous books. twilight can suck it.

lol twilight moment indeed

hahaha
vampires are the most attractive thing alive. bite me anyday edward!
as for you, im very sorry. it must suck for the male population to be constantly compared with a fantasy creature...

Hmm, YDI for not being a vampire.

DON'T BLAME TWILIGHT.

BLAME STUPID PEOPLE.

Your ideal response?

"I wish you were a real person."

Think faster.

haha!
the power of Twilight!!

#31- what are you trying to spell?

LOOOOL......I'm sorry 4 u but this is so funny cause it shows how some people can be.......morons....... but I still like Twilight............

k this is the creepiest thing i have ever heard

I AM a twilight fan but I realise it is FICTION. Edward is NOT a creepy stalker/perverted peodiphile who deserves painful death/universal hate, OR real. I DON'T love him, but I DON'T appreciate the attitude a lot of you people here have.
A SMALL MINORITY of twilight fans are this crazy, but most are just having fun and escaping into the pages of a good book, something A LOT of people do that is NOT weird OR SAD.
What is weird and sad is sitting around writing about how much you dislike something, because seriously, who actually has the time to do that? I'm only here because I'm sick today. Get over yourselves and stop wasting you life bashing stuff and repelling girls.
You know, when I read twilight I hoped that it would raise girls expectations, and those raised expectations would encourage guys to act like gentlemen. Instead, you lot have just decided to hate it and call every single person who even remotely enjoyed the book a psychopath.
Then again, if that's what you do for fun, I won't stop you...

@393
I guess you're just as sour as your name.

@403
i dont like the twilight books at all
but i agree with what you are saying about people needing to chill out, all of my friends like it.

but still what the girl said would creep me out
not the fact that its probably b/c of twilight but b/c vampires are scary

People, learn to spell "Twilight" before you criticise it. I ask of you that much.

criticize*
FYI

I'd just like to agree with everyone who is criticising Twilight for misrepresenting vampires. Yes, I realise it's a fictional creature, but it still has a definition. If you're going to base an entire story about a fictional creature, at least get it right. She could have at least named it something else. If she wanted to write about vampires, she should have written about VAMPIRES.

I've seen the first film... read a bit of the first book. (I agree that it's poorly written; people who compare those books to Harry Potter should die a thousand deaths because JK Rowling is a GENIUS!) I don't understand the attraction to Edward. He can hardly kiss her without having to stop because he's going to bite her and kill her. Have fun being stuck with a man forever who you can't even have SEX with. That sounds funnnn... he kinda ISSSS like the Jonas Brothers. No sex! Which is also a pity cos Joe's really fit...

Also, I would expect this behaviour from chubby 14 year old girls who get no attention from the boys at school cos they're unattractive... so they choose to lose themselves in this fantasy world... but an attractive woman? What. The. Shit. Embrace reality, love! She needs counselling.

Um, you may have dodged a bullet here...

Twilight is for prepubescent children. And yes, I have read them all. They read like a halfway decent fanfiction and I've read better fanfiction than what was published.

If you want a real vampire story, go read LKH's Anita Blake or Sherrilyn Kenyon's Dark hunter series. The men in THOSE books make Edward look like a little boy.

Why the hell do twilight fans find vampires 'sexy' ? All I see from the book Twilight is that vampires are controlling freaks, sparkle at day time (which by the way is the stupidest thing i've ever heard), and feel horny 24/7. That is not "attractive."

Hahahaha, that's hilarious, I'm sorry... you can thank Stephenie Meyer for that. This girl must have just read Twilight. While I understand her love for Edward Cullen, girls need to realize the difference between fantasy and reality.

hah. All girls wish they were with Edward Cullen, even though he's an overpossessive douchehat

what the fuck!?

Find someone who's not looking for Edward Cullen.

Twilight Rocks!!! just saying
u have to read the whole book

All types of girls like Twilight from like 10-20
ITs too true....u guys are talkin bullshit

You're better off out of that.

And to #414...ever considered that some of us may have read it all the way through and still disliked it?

She likes Twilight, fine.
She want you to be her Edward, dump her.

Those are the rules, buddy.

#6 I completely agree with you.

The only reason I would have to dislike the books would have to be the obsessive fangirls . . . FML for you, sorry you had to find that girl.

aww
sorry to hear that
its ironic lots of fans want their bf to be like Edward...


ps #6 you rock

You should have said something along the lines of 'I VANT to SUCK your BLOOD!'

But, yeah, she's clearly a loon.

I've read twilight and didn't care much for the books. I think it's ok to want to find YOUR Edward, but not THE Edward. Wanting to find YOUR Edward is like wanting to find your prince charming. I do however think some people need a reality check. Sorry to hear you got stuck with someone living in her own reality.

HAHAHA! Wow man, that sucks. But hey, every girl needs her Edward. :)
Yes, I'm a Twilight fan, but I'm not about to go around telling people I wish they were vampires... Stupid little fangirls ruined everything. Sorry you got one of them.

HAHAHAHAHA
Thats funny.
But thats SO dumb.
Im a closet fan.
But umm i know theyre not real. She could have just pretended.
LOL JK that really sucks for u though.
#100 YOUR RIGTHT!! And they DO durn in the sun !! And They DO NOT eat animals. they eat HUMANS !

Sorry, but may I e-stab your girlfriend for being such a douchebag and obsessing over Twilight?

I love Edward and not ashamed to admit it! :o) Buuuut Jacob is more like actual men... So I think I like him better... hmm... tough decision! Yes, I'm a Twilight nerd annnnnd I don't care what any of you say about me. =)

oh p.s. The story is about their passion. The reason girls like it so much is because it so sexual, but also about love. :)

Oh, and (sorry I keep commenting on this) women try to pretend that they don't need/want a man who can protect them. They pretend they don't need men, and are independent, but really deep down, it is sexy to have a guy be protective over you, and thats what Edward and Jacob were to Bella, protective. And Kristin Stewart sucks at acting. Alexis Bledel (from Gilmore Girls) should have been Bella.

I am lucky to have a sister who isn't obsessed with Twilight. Unfortunatley, I think the reason that she isn't is because she is a real vampire who is offended. She's pretty much nocturnal, threatens to bite me, and if nobody's home to let her in she waits outside instead of using her key(maybe because she can't go in...)

ouch

#427 LOL

Really I just wanted to comment on this and see if it gets to 500 =P

Today, I walking home with this guy who acted a lot like Edward Cullen (from the Twilight series, which I love), he was the guy of my dreams, everything about him was perfect. He wasn't a vampire. FML

hahahaha.

she would be..obsessed!

"I wish you were a vampire." Seriously?
wow.
For those of you dissing all the twilight fans:
NOT ALL FANS ARE CRAZY.
I think twilight, the series, is okay. Definatly not the best ive read. The only thing that kept me reading was the plot-it was kind of intresting but the writing was that of a 9th graders. The last book kind of sucked. I honestly don't understand how people are sooo obsessed with it. See, I read it and I never talk about it unless someone brings it up, and even then im hesitant about it.

Okay OP, back to you. You dodged a physco, it may be hard because she "seemed" like a fantastic girl but i'm sure you'll find someone:)
&sorry that this was basically the same as what everyone else is saying.

ha wow it's sad that some people can't tell what's reality and what isn't ^^"

hahahha wow. i like twilight but the freaking obsession pisses me off.

she's a psycho.

wow, another reason to hate that f@%#ing movie

lol she wanted you to suck on her

its sad how some people cant realize that Twilight is only a series of FICTIONAL BOOKS, people really need to get over that fact and go on with there lives.