Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you totally deserved it (1441)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Oor.. instead of irritable bowel syndrome like one of you suggested... SHe could be fooling around with laxatives and have some sort of eating disorder (I think of this only because my name is "mystomachurts" ) You can get the drift.
#51 - On 11/25/2009 at 6:07am by mystomachurts
This is everyday stuff for us with IBS.
FYL, Mate, I know what it feels like.
#4 - On 11/24/2009 at 10:29am by vapors
Oh dear god. What I like most about this is that if you were coming in from a car, you presumably made the decision somewhere in your sprint to the supermarket bathroom that it would be more worth it to potentially embarass yourself in front of the whole store than to bring your car somewhere to be cleaned. FYL for having to make the choice.
#5 - On 11/24/2009 at 10:32am by Unsaturatedfatty
Oh God I remember when I had really bad diarrhea at Books A Million... Luckily it didn't reach past my underwear when I finally got to the bathroom.
Note to people in charge of bathrooms: it is NOT cool when you have to ask for keys to bathrooms. When I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.
#6 - On 11/24/2009 at 10:42am by Avenging_Angel
Naw, you don't have to move but you should get plastic surgery to change the appearance of your face :/
Or wear a sandwich bored that reads:
"Many of you may have seen my identical twin brother Irving. He's that guy that pooped in the market? Yeah, now you remember him. Anywho, he left town, so maybe we should all stop mentioning the pooping. Anyone see the game last night? There, let's talk about that instead."
#55 - On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am by flying_vegan
Should of just shit in your car, or outside, or just anywhere other than streaming it through the store and everyone's food..
#15 - On 11/24/2009 at 11:24am by driedpeaches
GREASE LIGHTNING!!! Run faster next time, or piss out of your ass at home before. Either way, that sucks. I would never go back to that store.lol Think of the person who had to clean it up...
#16 - On 11/24/2009 at 11:29am by donkey_hang_down
Today, this guy came into my store and sprayed nastly, liquid diarrhea EVERYWHERE. And I had to clean it up.
F both of your lives.
you arent the first, go read The Austin Road Trip story by Tucker Max. He just so happens to be famous and loaded, so rather than be embarrassed by it, he published it in a book and made a movie out of it...maybe you could try that
#18 - On 11/24/2009 at 11:41am by culeysue015
Thats great. my wife calls that a " home depot moment" because the same thing happened to here there. it was funny as hell. Another time my step dad vanished for what seamed like forever at a restaurant. turns out, he had the same thing and had to throw out his underwear in the bathroom trashcan. FYL
Crud, OP. I'm sorry you had such a shitty time. Hopefully you ran down the aisle with toilet paper and paper towels to make the poor workers' lives easier.
#20 - On 11/24/2009 at 11:52am by caancoha
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
Here's a tip: Learn about sphincter control, you idiot. Clench that fucker up like someone's trying to rape you (and you AREN'T enjoying it). Then not only will you be able to make it to the bathroom, you could walk there calmly without causing a scene.
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
true!
#33 - On 11/24/2009 at 2:44pm by goldpeaches
Yeah... i'm SURE op didn't try to hold it or anything. IO guess you would know. Shit must run through you all the time cause you're definitely an asshole.
Ewww, been there.. but I would of stayed in the car if I knew I couldn't make it. Better to strip in your doorway and clean your car afterwards.
I watched this happen to someone in a stake and shake. Thanks for bringing back that memory... EWW
#24 - On 11/24/2009 at 12:43pm by gator_fan101
It's the new craze - the diarrhea dash! It was a supermarket smash!
#26 - On 11/24/2009 at 1:07pm by blastvortex
I hope you don't live in my town, OP.
No seriously, that sucks. It's cool to see a poster from Alabama though :D
From OP: I, good citizen that I am upon rare occasion, in fact cleaned up everything, including my "trail" which was, thankfully, short because my pants were absorbant. (I recommend heavy natural fibers should you wish to re-create this distressing experience.)
I was also helped by my wife, whom I've formally nominated for sainthood only because nothing more lofty was open. It was she who handed me dozens of paper towels dipped in warm water with which I cleaned myself. It was she who washed my pants in the bathroom sink (!) while driving away customers who only thought they needed to use the mens room. It was she who acted as lookout while I darted out to clean my "trail."
Finally, to 22: it's called "explosive" diarrhea because you can't stop it no matter how hard you clench. Your clencher is no match for several feet of your musculara propria in full spasm, squeezing your large intestine with a death grip. If it ever happens to you, you'll understand all too well.
#30 - On 11/24/2009 at 2:00pm by sadder
Thank You! I haven't actually laughed out loud on FML in awhile. My faith has been restored in the shitty lives of strangers.
That is pretty shitty man. I feel your pain. I had to cut off some boxers and leave them floating in a port-0-potty once.
#38 - On 11/24/2009 at 4:27pm by CallMeHush
My sister sent me a picture of a poop covered toilet and wall last week at Sams.. im guessing its due to explosive diarreah? Sick. I still have the picture as proof!
*checking my photobucket..*
andd.. here the link for those that are curious. I cried at the horror that is explosive diarreah.
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e199/pashaw/poop-3.jpg
#39 - On 11/24/2009 at 4:41pm by alexandraa
Jesus fucking christ....... THAT is why I'm scared to use public bathrooms!!!
#49 - On 11/25/2009 at 5:06am by intensitive
Oh my GAWD! xD
I regret clicking that link now... though I have to admit I actually LOL'd.
#64 - On 11/26/2009 at 2:26am by xf0rg0tt3nx
I saw something similar to that but about a billion times worse at a Wendy's once. The smell was especially unpleasant. I had to avoid eating at Wendy's for about a year after that, haha.
#67 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:40am by alicecooper91
If it makes you feel any better my husband and I couldn't get through this without bursting into laughter after each sentence Xp
Liquid P00000000000000000000! X_x
#52 - On 11/25/2009 at 6:57am by do11eh
shit happens, and that is one of those "wrong place at the wrong time" moments..i feel so sorry for you man
#53 - On 11/25/2009 at 7:02am by betamaxjim92
Does it help to know that your shitty is amusing all of us? I just can't stop laughing!
#54 - On 11/25/2009 at 7:51am by chickchick
props to your fantastic story telling. I am so sorry this happened to you.
#66 - On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm by spirited_away33
It happens to me once in high school. my pants was a mess and I was trapped in the toilet. Then I saw my friend in the washroom and I tell him to call my dad for pants. Then just when I got out of the washroom. I was stared down by almost everyone in the hallway because that friend of mine have spread the words to the whole school. And I was studying Grade 9 and stayed till I graduated. Even a grade 9-er knew about my incident when I was graduating. FML
Yep, it definitely does exist. It happened to me when i was walking home from school one time. Luckily, nobody else was around. I just cleaned it up in the comfort of my home :)
#69 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:53pm by looloogirl
dude, i am SOOOOO sorry!!!! i would DIE if that ever happened to me. i suggets moving to another continent.
ok, here's my story, i was horribly sick but was one of the faster runners in my "house" at boarding school. the various houses competed against each other in carnivals a few times a year and i was set to run a relay. Not wanting to miss it I said I was well enough to run, go through about 300 of the 400 meters and my ass exploded, not slowing, i finished my leg. It was the winter carnival so i was wearing a decent amount of clothes and no one knew. There's nothing like walking down a hill a 1/4 mile with rapidly cooling feces running down your legs...
#76 - On 12/07/2009 at 9:36pm by driedpeaches
